Xonel: Well, this is my first fanfiction ever to be put on public display. I've written others, but never thought them worthy enough to put up. Hopefully you like it.
Spoilers: If you haven't completed Chloe's quest, this will spoil the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Legendia. Nor do I make any profit writing this.
Summary: This is the very end of Chloe's quest, told with her as the central character. It starts with her making her way through the Forest of No Return and ends with her and Senel making their way back to Werites beacon. Rated T for blood, violence, and mild language.
*Update*
Xonel: Well, as you can obviously see, I've made some slight changes to the story. Mainly just improving dialogue and descriptions. I've been neglecting to post this update, because I want to make it even better, but for the time being, this will do. Please let me know if you liked the old version better, if you have suggestions for further changes, or just if you liked this better than the original. Or just if you liked it, if you haven't read the original. Thanks!
Remember the Rain
The one thing she really couldn't understand was why she kept running. It was as if her mind was split in two, or like her brain couldn't control her feet that kept pounding the ground, forcing her forward.
Senel had to be aright. She knew he was. And yet a worm of doubt kept eating at her in the pit of her stomach. If he had died... No! She refused to think that. Senel was alive.
"But I cannot take back what I did..." The words were barely audible as she forced them past the lump in her throat.
"No, you can't." It was that voice again. The voice that sounded so much stronger than her, so much more sure of itself. "And you don't want to, do you? The fact that you stabbed Senel is proof of your resolve." The voice sounded younger than her, too.
She winced. "I just wish it hadn't been necessary."
"No! No regrets! Remember that day all those years ago."
She tried to ignore the voice, as well as the burning in her lungs. She coughed and knew she had reached her limit at the moment. She stopped and leaned against a tree to catch her breath.
"Remember Mother and Father. Remember pleading with them to wake up."
She slowly sank to her hands and knees, thankful for the rest after hours of relentless running.
"Remember the nobles who were supposed to be your allies. Mocking you. Amused by the futile efforts of a child."
She looked around her, trying to judge the time and how far she had come into the forest. It was still a few hours until dawn, maybe four or five, which meant she had been running for about two hours, a lot less than it felt like. Even so, she had come pretty far. It wouldn't be long until she reached her goal.
Her goal...?
She could still feel that the voice was there and clutched at her head, something she seemed to be doing often of late.
"Remember... the rain," it said quietly.
She froze. All efforts to block out the voice ceased. Her eyes stared at the bare patch of damp earth in front of her and she could swear she saw the bottom of a very expensive looking dress, even though there was no way anyone could be standing in front of her.
The question of why she had always hated the rain so much vaguely entered the outermost edge of her mind. For an answer, her chest seemed to constrict as if she were about to be crushed by raw emotion. She hugged herself tightly, her hands gripping her arms tight enough to leave bruises. She knew why she hated the rain. No. "Hate" didn't cover it. She hated, loathed, utterely dreaded the mere thought of the rain.
It had been on that day, in the rain, that she remembered being very cold, freezing even, alone and vulnerable. She had thought that she was going to die. And even though her body was still breathing, she felt like she had.
"Who did this to you?" the voice asked gently, quietly. It almost sounded like a mother comforting her child.
"Alcott did," she said in a small voice, sounding very much like a child who needed comforting.
"And what are you going to do about it?"
She was silent for a moment and squeezed her eyes shut. Horrible images flashed before her eyes, threatening to engulf her as her pain turned back into familiar blinding rage. She stood and breathed in, closing her eyes. Her resolve was firm, as if it had never faltered. She was not a child, but a knight.
"Kill him."
A twig snapped behind her and she whirled around to see a fully grown Eggbear with four of her cubs.
Her sword was out of its scabbard in a flash. She felt no fear and wasted no time before launching herself at them.
She danced from one cub to the next with the skill and precision of five years of hard training. Tempist Gambit quickly turned into Phantom Blade as the mother Eggbear tried to attack her from behind. While that one was lying on the ground, her stance shifted and Lightning Tiger Blade finished off two of the cubs. A simple Shining Gale got rid of a third cub, followed by Twin Demon Fang to finish off the last of the cubs. By then, the mother Eggbear was on its feet again, and very angry. She easily parried a swipe it made at her head, then shifted again to finish it off with Shadow Steel.
She cleaned her blade on the fur of the mother Eggbear. "They were no match for my skills." She wasn't sure who she was saying to to, herself or the voice.
She turned, returning her sword to its scabbard. She took a step forward, but quickly froze when she heard something shift behind her. She turned just in time to see the mother Eggbear towering over her before one heavy paw came crashing down on her head, thrusting her into unconsciousness.
...xXx...
"...don't go..."
She turned, leaving a corpse behind her. He was dead, and there was nothing that was going to stop her now from reaching her goal. This was the reason for the sword at her hip. This was the reason for who she had become. She had committed herself to this path, the path of revenge. She had to follow through now.
She was just outside of the city when she paused and closed her eyes, the faintest smile on her lips. She didn't seem to notice the black mist gather around her as she breathed in deeply, taking in the night air.
After five long years, it was finally going to happen. After five long years, her blade would finally taste the blood it had so yearned for.
Her smile grew and she was just about ready to break into a run to meet her destiny when she heard a small voice behind her.
"There you are..." The voice sounded timid, and more than a little afraid.
Her expression hardened. "Go back to the hospital, Elsa."
"I was worried... You haven't been acting like yourself and-"
"Go back. Now." She said it coldly, and could tell that Elsa's fear was growing.
"Wh-What are you doing out this late?"
A scowl painted her features and she glanced at the gates to the city. Still no sign of anyone following her. For the time being. She focused her attention on Elsa and took a step forward. "Go back now, Elsa," she said harshly.
"I-I can't do that. Come back with me!" she pleaded.
She drew her sword. This child had been a nuisance for a long time. Her patience with this girl was quickly drawing to an end. "Do as I say!"
By now Elsa couldn't handle it. Despite her best efforts to be brave like the woman in front of her whom she had once admired, she couldn't stop tears of terror from escaping. "I can't let you harm Father! He's all I have!"
She settled into her fighting stance. "This is your last chance, Elsa. I will not show you any mercy. Now move!"
"Please! Chl-" Elsa stopped abruptly, blood trickling down from the corner of her mouth in a thin line. She coughed once, sending tiny drops of crimson on the sleeves of her uniform.
"You should have moved."
She used one booted foot to push Elsa's lifeless body off of her sword and wiped the blade on the grass next to her. She glanced at it and smiled. Killing was easier than she thought.
Her eyes left the corpse and looked to the duct, just a few feet away from her. Her smile widened into a grin, bringing with it a sort of blissful euphoria.
"Nothing stands in my way now," she said in a fervent whisper.
And indeed, nothing stopped her on her way to her goal. She now stood in front of the monster who had taken everything from her, and she wanted him to suffer. She wanted him to know the pain she had felt for years after what he had done. She wanted him to know the pain she still felt to this very day!
And so, she did not ask him for any last words as he lay about to die. She would not give him the honor which was reserved for those who had at least a shred of humanity in them.
She did not even deal a final blow. He did not deserve a swift death.
The only thing she did was lean down next to him and say, "Apologize to Elsa when you see her. Had it not been for you, neither of you would have died."
Alcott's eyes widened slightly. All she did was stand over him, watching as the blood made a beautiful crimson pool around him, waiting for him to die.
...xXx...
She was awake in an instant, and covered in a cold sweat. She took a moment to steady her breathing, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyelids. It was only a dream... just a dream... Damn... That's not what I've become, is it?
"And what if it was?" the voice asked her.
She grimaced. Now it could hear her thoughts?
"I thought your resolve was firm. Do not regret what you have done."
"I don't, but..." That was a lie. Maybe things hadn't been as bad as her dream, but she did regret the truth.
"The past is the past," the voice said firmly. "All that you need to worry about is Alcott. Don't waste any thought on the rest."
"Yes... you're right." She stood and looked around her. The Eggbear was definitely dead now, only a foot away from where she had been on the ground moments before. It must have died right after it had knocked her out. It must have been trying to...
"To take revenge on the one who had killed its cubs," she said aloud.
"It is time for your revenge."
"Yes." She looked up to try to judge the time. "Damn!" It was already morning. She had to have been out for three or four hours at least.
She broke into an easy run; hurrying, but conserving energy.
It took her less time than she expected to reach her destination. When she did, the man she had so hated for so many years was standing calmly, his back to her, looking up at the sky.
"So. You've come."
"Did you think I wouldn't?" she said coldly. The mere sight of him erased any feelings of uncertainty she had had earlier. She felt a scowl begin to form on her lips.
Alcott turned to face her. "You really have grown."
"Is that all you can think to say?!" A knot was in the pit of her stomach. Not of regret or hesitation, but of pain. This was the man who had caused her so much pain and suffering and all he could say was that she had grown?! She would have thoght that at the very least he would have the decency to apologize! Not that that could ever quell her hatred for him, no. He would face justice. He had to.
She felt her breathing become haggard as she clenched her fists. It was an effort not to draw her sword. No, she would wait until he was ready, even if he did not deserve it.
He looked up at the sky again. "I suppose you won't want to waste any time." He drew his sword smoothly and settled into a fighting stance.
Suddenly, she could only stare at him, biting back emotions that wanted to come spilling forth. Her stomach twisted, and not because of anger or hatred.
"You yourself said that he must face justice. Let him answer to your fury. Draw your sword!," She obeyed, and a ring sounded as her broadsword slid from its scabbard.
Alcott relaxed for a brief moment. "It's ironic that it should be here. The same place as that fateful day."
The mere sound of his voice only caused her to lose the little control she had gained in order to fight with any precision. "Shut up!" Her voice cracked and sounded garbled in her ears as she launched herself at him, her blade arching over her head in a downward slice aimed at his shoulder.
Alcott parried and jumped backward before she could land a blow.
"Demon Fang!" she yelled, and quickly followed the wave of energy as it caused just enough damage to catch Alcott off guard. She wasted no time in using Shining Storm, which quickly became Sword Rain: Omega.
Alcott kept his blade in front of him, using it as a shield. He leapt backwards again, as soon as he could and remained in a defensive position.
She paused. "Why don't you fight back?!" she demanded. Alcott remained silent. "Do you not have the will?!"
"I have known for a long while that this time would come."
"Why did you do it?!" she yelled in sudden anguish.
"I had no other choice. It was the only way for me to continue my search."
For Elsa, she couldn't help but think. But it didn't matter. He had no excuse for what he did, none! He had to pay the price, he had to face justice!
Her grip on her sword tightened until her knuckles were white. "You had no excuse!" She ran forward and hacked at him mercilessly, not even bothering to use eres now. She was blind to everything except her target in front of her and that satisfying jars her arms endured as her blade met with his form.
Alcott merely grimaced and stood his ground as her attacks steadily broke through his defenses. He did not try to even really escape her attacks any more, and it was annoying her.
"Fight back, you monster!" She continued to rain down blow after blow and was getting tired of how easy Alcott was making it for her to beat him. "You won't even try to defend your honor? You coward!"
"It is not my place to escape justice."
"Then lower your defenses and I'll make this quicker for you!"
Again, Alcott didn't reply, and he didn't lower his defenses. She stopped, breathing heavily, and lowered her own sword. Only then did Alcott relax and raise the sword he held until it was eye level with her.
Her eyes widened in recognition. "That's... Father's sword..." Her knees wobbled as the words escaped her mouth. She bit back her sadness at the memories and forced it to harden back into hate.
"I knew you would recognize it." He kneeled down and gently placed it on the ground before walking a few feet away from her and once again, looking up at the sky. He stayed that way for a moment, before turning, and falling backward.
She only let surprise register for a split second. She hadn't realized just how much damage she had caused. She swallowed, taking in his appearance for the first time.
Alcott was bloodied from head to toe in numerous places where her blade had torn huge gashes in his flesh. His leather armor was torn open as well, even though it was obviously of the best quality. Most noticeble were the huge gouge on his leg where it seemed part of his knee-cap was exposed, and his bloodied face, his nose obviously shattered. Behind the blood, his face looked sad, almost... remorseful.
"Finish it," the voice whispered. She shook off her shock and shifted her hands on the hilt of her sword.
"Do you have any last words?" She took a small step toward him.
"It seems... your resolve was firm... since that very day five years ago." Alcott coughed, spraying droplets of blood everywhere.
She scowled and slashed at the air in frustration. "Do you have any last words?!"
"Please... take care of Elsa..."
"I bear witness to your words."
"Chloe, stop!"
She froze. It was him. "Coolidge. You're alive." That was all she needed to know. It didn't matter if everyone was here, she was going to finish what she had come to do. It was the right thing to do.
"Chloe, do you realize what you're doing?!" Senel said in desperation. "You're about to cause someone go through the same exact pain you did!"
She thrust an arm at Alcott, pointing. "This man is a murderer! He deserves no sympathy!"
"Chloe..."
She turned to see Elsa inching toward the sword that still lay on the ground. "If you touch that sword, I won't show you any mercy, Elsa."
"I can't let you harm my father, Chloe... You're my friend, but he's all I have. I will defend him."
"Elsa, no! I knew this day would come sooner or later, don't try to stop it!" Alcott coughed and tried in vain to sit up.
"Elsa..." she said threateningly. There was no way Elsa could be so foolish, could she?
"I'm sorry, Chloe." She wrapped her fingers around the sword's hilt, barely able to lift it.
Chloe clutched at her head, doubling over. "Elsa, why?!" Her father was a murderer, but Elsa had done nothing wrong at all! How could an innocent person stand in her way of delivering justice?!
"Chloe, you have to stop this!"
"Come on, C, its time to go back." Even Norma sounded worried. Why were all of them trying ot stop her? Her revenge was just, couldn't they, her friends, see that?!
"Think about the pain you went through Chloe," Will said. "Do you really want Elsa to go through that as well?"
"Aaaarrrgh!" Chloe's arms shook. She found herself torn between what had become her sole purpose for living as she had, and her friends who had helped her already overcome so much. She could not become the monster she had seen in her dreams, she would not allow it. But she had to end this, forever. She couldn't let a guilty man go on living as if he had done nothing wrong, especially this man who had caused her so many years of suffering.
And yet... for a while now, she hadn't wanted to kill Alcott. She hated the man who murdered her parents on that rainy night so many years ago, but she just couldn't summon that hatred against the man who was Elsa's father.
"You have to kill this man," the voice said. "He deserves to die!"
The others had turned quiet. Why were they so quiet?
"What the..." Moses sounded confused.
"Doesn't that look like..." Norma trailed off.
"Is that... Chloe?" Senel asked.
"Chloe, you mustn't listen to that voice!" Grune said.
She stood to see what they all were talking about and couldn't help but be surprised herself, because there in front of her stood... herself. It had to be her, only a younger version. It was her twelve-year-old self, no doubt about it. She had the same dark hair, the same eyes, the same everything, except that her eyes were still getting used to the pain as if it had just happened, and she was wearing the expensive dress of a noble.
Senel shook his head. "Don't listen to that voice. You don't have to do this, Chloe!"
The conflict within threatened to overwhelm her. She didn't want to take Alcott's life, but the murderer in front of her, who already seemed close to death, deserved no mercy. She shook her head, nothing seemed clear to her at all any more. She had spent five years preparing for this day, so why did she hesitate? "I... don't have to?"
"Of course you have to!" her younger self said. It didn't sound so strong any more. It sounded more like a pleading child.
Senel took a step forward, followed immediately by the others. "Its alright, Chloe. You don't have to do this any more."
"But..." She didn't have to? The thought sounded too good to be true... Would it really be alright? To let this man live? To let go of her hatred? What would Mother and Father think about their only daughter failing to avenge them?
She shook her head. They wouldn't forgive her would they? "I can't..."
"Yes you can, Chloe. What about all of us? What about Elsa? This isn't what you want, is it?"
It was then that it dawned on her. No. This was not what she wanted. From the start she had been reluctant. Ever since she realized that it was Alcott who had killed her parents, she had been wanting to let him live...
She met the eyes of her younger self.
"Y-You're rejecting me?! But I'm you!"
She closed her yes briefly. "Not any more."
"What?!" Black mist started to swirl around her younger self. "Fine." The mist condensed, then cleared to reveal an older version of the figure that stood there. "Then I will carry out our revenge myself after I kill all of you!"
Her other self drew its sword and rushed at them. She barely had enough time to block its attack, just as she heard Senel unleash Twin Demon Fist behind her. Her other self glared and ran past her to attack him, dodging both a spear from Moses and a Shadow Reaper from Jay.
At first all she could do was stand there. It wasn't every day she had to fight... well, herself. And even though she was sure it wasn't right to take her revenge like this, it still felt strange after so many years of focusing on it.
Se looked behind her to see her friends fighting the monster impersonating her. Her grip tightened on her sword. She couldn't let her dark side win. The thing her friends were fighting was the very thing her dream had been about. She would not let it win.
She rushed at her dark self and immediately released New Moon Lightning, knocking it down. Senel grabbed its feet and attacked with Landslide, just as Norma unleashed Ground Dasher.
Her dark side stood up and attacked both her and Senel with Sword Rain: Omega. She recovered quickly and backed away to gain some room. Moses unleashed Rogue Hunt while Jay slammed into it from above with Crow Blade.
This gave Norma just enough time to cast Revive, healing both herself and Senel from the last attack. Will cast Antishelter just seconds later.
She rushed at her dark side once again, this time not bothering with eres. Senel was at her side in no time, and they exchanged a glance as they both continued their assault. She felt a pang of guilt and quickly looked away, focusing on the monster she was attacking.
Her dark side was quickly losing energy, but it wasn't quite finished yet. Its this thing's fault that I hurt Coolidge at all! True, its a part of me, but... She shook her head in frustration, wanting the battle to end.
"Shield my blade!" Her dark side stopped in confusion and her friends took the opportunity hit it one after the other, sending it flying in the air. She launched herself after it, driving her sword through its stomach. She wrenched her sword free as soon as they both hit the ground and glared at it. "Curse your own ill fate."
Her dark side disappeared for a brief instant, only to reappear as her younger self once again, a few feet away.
"You... how could you..!" it said.
She let out a breath as she put her sword back in its scabbard. The thing had had no blood, so there was no need to clean her blade. "You've been alone for a long time, haven't you?"
"Wh-What? I don't need your pity!" it cried angrily.
"You don't have to be alone any more." Her hands started to glow with the warm light of sacred eres; something that she had seen only four times before and had actually experienced only once. She took a step toward her younger self as the light grew in strength. She remembered something Shirley had said once, something like, 'Don't run from the part of yourself you don't like. You have to embrace your flaws.'
And that was exactly what she did.
The light grew until she was forced to close her eyes. When it cleared, her younger self was no longer there.
She felt everyone's eyes on her. She didn't exactly feel anything at the moment, except the need to get away from those eyes. She couldn't face everyone right now. So she went back into the forest by herself.
..xXx...
It was raining by the time Chloe heard Senel behind her. She had managed to shake off the feeling that everything had been a dream, but now all she felt was regret and sadness.
"I've been a fool," she said. "Instead of dealing with my loneliness, I turned to hatred. I created an escape for myself by blaming everything on others. What I wanted... was right here in front of me all along..."
"You're not a fool," Senel said kindly. "No one here thinks so."
Chloe turned to face him. "I... Can I truly give up on revenge?" She looked at the ground. She was starting to shake, and couldn't help but think that one day, she might hurt someone again.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Senel said gently.
"But..." was all she could manage.
"None of us are going to criticize you. If anyone gives you a hard time, I'll knock them out, simple as that." Senel walked just a little bit beyond her so that he was facing away from her.
"I...I..."
"You've done good, Chloe. Rest now."
Chloe didn't try to hold back her tears any more. Everything that had just happened was too much even for her. "You know... If anyone else had said that to me, I could have run into their arms and cried." She swallowed. "But please... Stop being so kind to me..." She took a step toward him, uncertain at first, then a little more confidently. She rested her head on his shoulder, not caring at all about how she would restrain herself from doing so in the past.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"Just... let me just stay here like this... For a little while?" she asked, in her mind voicing it as more of a plea than a simple question.
Senel remained silent for a long while, and she took his silence as consent. She only wished his consent was out of something more than just friendship.
Friendship... It amazed her that he could be so forgiving after what she had done. And yet, she still yearned for more than just friendship from him.
"You know," Senel's voice brought her back out of her thoughts, "the rain feels really good."
Chloe took a step back, looking at the sky. She had never thought so before. It had been raining when her parents were killed, and from that day forward, she always felt like the sky was laughing at her when it rained. But now, for some reason... "Mm. I'm glad its raining." She let the faintest of smiles show itself on her face. Maybe after a while, she could learn to think of Senel as just a friend. Perhaps...
"The others are probably wondering about us," Senel said quietly. "We should head back soon."
"Senel." She couldn't give up until she knew. "I..."
Senel simply looked at her, still smiling softly. "It's okay."
"No. Its not that..."
Now he looked at her expectantly. There was no way she could stop now. She went to a nearby log and sat down, angling herself away from him. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago."
Senel sat down next to her. "What is it?"
"I've..." She closed her eyes. She had to finish this now. It would never end if she didn't, and she knew it. "I've had feelings for you... Very... strong feelings..." She could feel Senel's shocked eyes on her as he remained silent, so she hurried on. "For a while actually. I tried telling you, but I guess you couldn't see what I was trying to say, not that that's your fault or anything. A-and besides, I know we've all been preoccupied with the black mist lately, and all that stuff from before, so-"
"Chloe."
She stopped abruptly, too scared to look him in the eye. She shouldn't have said anything. Not now. How could she even have the right to say these things to him after stabbing him and leaving him for dead? How could she be so foolish? "I'm sorry, Senel."
"It's alright. You don't have to feel sorry."
"No, I mean for nearly killing you. I... I'm sorry."
Senel placed a hand on her shoulder. "Its alright." Chloe remained silent. He stood then, and took a couple of steps away from the log.
"The honest truth is..."
Chloe braced herself. She knew this was going to hurt. She had known all along.
"I'm not sure what to say..."
Chloe blinked. That wasn't what she had expected.
"I've always thought of you as, well, my best friend. But now..."
Chloe shook her head. "Don't come up with a lie just to spare me. It was faint from where we were, but I saw the water glowing around the two of you outside the Wings of Light." She let out a breath. "It was the sea. Nerifes blessed the two of you... I overheard Shirley telling Norma what that meant."
"But..."
Chloe forced a smile and shook her head. "Its alright, Coolidge. Its fine. This isn't anything different from what I expected, I just thought you had a right to know what I felt toward you."
"No, Chloe, its not alright. Now who's lying?" Senel faced her. "And I was never lying to begin with. I know what happened outside the Wings of Light. But the truth is, I don't know if that's what I think of Shirley or not." He sighed. "You helped me a lot when we were trying to rescue Shirley from Vaclav. And again you helped me even more when Shirley was about to destroy the Mainland. You've helped me more than anyone, Chloe. Saying that I was closest to anyone but you would be a lie." Chloe's eyes widened in surprise. "Of course, I am close to Shirley too." Senel faced her. "So again, I'm not sure what to think." A silence passed between them.
Chloe looked up at the sky. "This... was a long day, and yet its already so late at night..." Senel remained silent. "Would you... Would you mind if we walked back to the city? Instead of taking the duct? I need to think for a while."
Senel smiled. "Sure."
Chloe started to head back out of the forest, but then stopped and faced Senel. "I won't pretend to know what's going to happen because of what I've done or what I'll decide to do because of it, but... At the very least, I have a new reason to remember the rain." She offered a sort of uncertain half smile. "Now I can remember the rain for what I did not do today." It was true. Even if she did decide that she should go back to the Mainland, at least she would no longer loathe the rain.
Senel smiled. "Let's go back."
...xXx...
Xonel: Well, I thank everyone who took the time to read this. This was my first fanfiction, so I hope people like it. Normally I wouldn't say this, but please review.
Oh, and just my own note... I left the ending a little more open than the game does. Personally I really like the Chloe/Senel pairing, and I think that because of their character, it makes more sense than Senel/Shirley. But that's just me. And of course, I hate going against a game completely, so I didn't make it an "Oh Chloe, don't you know I've felt the same way about you?!" But I was in a similar situation and perhaps still am, so I made things sound a little more positive for my favorite character. :)
If you do review, I welcome constructive criticism, but please no flames.
*Update*
Xonel: So again, let me know how you liked the changes, if you want to that is. I won't force you, because it is physically impossible for me to do so.