Pauls POV 3 months earlier
"Your not allowed to see any of your old friends until you can get control of your emotions Paul unless you want to hurt someone" Sam told me but I didn't want to hear it Mercy was going to be crushed that I see her anymore, "Paul" Sam spoke softly "I know this is going to be hard but in a couple of months . . ." I cut him off "A COUPLE OF MONTHS!" I roared beginning to shake. No no no I refuse to phase I refuse I . . And I exploded into my wolf form and Sam changed and spoke to me through the pack bond "If you manage to control yourself in three months time I will allow you to start to interact with others but you need to make sure that until then that they will back off" I whimpered , This is going to ruin my friendship we had started to get close, she was starting to open her shell and talk about her Alcoholic dad and her shitty home life what I was going to have to do to keep her from talking to me is through having to hurt her. 'I'm so sorry Mercy for what I'm going to do but I will fix it I promise, I hope . . ."
-3 months Earlier-
Mercy POV
"What do you mean you can't see me anymore!" I cried desperately; "I thought we were best friends! Paul please talk to me I have no one without you I will be alone" I whispered, Paul looked at me and laughed "friends, you thought we were friends HA! Your a joke go back to be the loner you once was you loser." I blinked back tears I was alone again and my best friend didn't want me . . .
I blinked back tears at the memory Paul had been my best friend in all of La Push; no one had liked me I was a loner, I had never fitted in with my quiet, alone self until Paul had came and become my friend. 'No Mercy don't think like that Paul was never your friend he never cared at all he was just lying the whole time', Ever since Paul had gotten sick and had shown his true colours as a asshole and man whore three months ago I been alone again and my life had gotten very sad, ever since Paul had exclaimed to the entire school one day that he hadn't wanted to be my friend girls had gone back to there bitchy ways of teasing me and saying rude things like "Go kill yourself!" and "Go cut me a river!" and unfortunately a month later the words had gotten to me.
"Oh Goth Girl why don't you meet me in my backseat but wait why would I want a cutter like you" a boy yelled at me from across the hall in La Push High; the place of my worst nightmares and where my extreme torture starts everyday between monday and friday. I pull my sleeves down on my long sleeved black top; even though what they said about being a cutter was true it still cut deeply that they would say things like that and how the faculty didn't even seem to care but then again they probably didn't notice me, I have a way of not being seen even if I am the only person in the room. Oh God I just wanted to go home and cut a few more cuts into my skin, if I'm lucky they might even scar, "Oh I so wish Paul was here and still my friend" I thought but I doubt he even noticed me anymore after he had told me he hadn't wanted to be my friend anymore and had created the huge scene in front of the whole school he had practically ditched school and then I still didn't see him because we only had one class together and when we where in the same room he had a sluts tongue shoved down his throat, but recently he has kind of straightened out and has begun dating Rachel Black, Jacob Blacks elder sister.
'I just want to go home, I'm over this I'm done' I thought as I walk to my next class; 'Why am I even here anymore?' and with that thought I just stopped, Why was I still here? I had no friends my only one had left me ages ago, I'm a depressed, bullied, cutter that just wants to give up, where do I even try anymore. 'I'm done I just want to end it, I'm going home my parents won't be there to care anyways ones a alcoholic probably at the bar and the others dead lets just leave this shit hole I'm done with life'. I'm done screw this; I turn around and head to my locker to get my bag and and I walk out of the school for hopefully the last time I take one last look 'I'm sorry' and I walk off.
Paul POV
'Yes I get to see Mercy today' I think excitedly I had been telling Rachel my imprint all about her and everyone in the pack knew about her thanks to my memories of her and the could tell I was excited to see her. 'Can we come to see her when you go see her, I've seen and heard so much about her through your memories but I have never met her, please Paul please?' Quil and Embry both beg. 'Hell no in your dreams' I say through the Pack link, 'Paul I think you should bring the pack we need to make sure you can cope you have the biggest temper and you can't always control it' Sam pointed out slash Alpha commanded. I huffed annoyed a mumbled fine and said impatiently 'could we go now?" And Sam replied 'after patrol'. I thought to myself please let Mercy forgive me and that she has been alright by herself.
Mercy POV
I chose my sharpest pocket knife if I was going to die I want to die faster than having to gorge in with a Razor, I was going to die today and I was totally calm, I just didn't want to handle the pain anymore, Dad beats me, Mum's dead and Paul's gone probably forgotten me or is laughing about me to the Sam Uley Steroid fan boys. I took a deep breath and wrote my final letter and then cut into my arm 'alone' cause thats what I want I am and what I want to think when everything fades out and I die Then I cut deep into my arms right into the veins in my wrists the blood beginning to pool out around me on my bedroom floor and I begin to flash through my best and worst memories.
Mum;when she was alive, then when she died from drunk driver when I was ten, Dad hitting me for the first time when I was twelve when he was in a drunken mess. Meeting Paul when I was fifteen and then him leaving me when I was eighteen three months ago, all these images and more swirled around my mind and then everything went black and I heard and saw nothing.
Paul POV
"Almost there, almost there" I thought excitedly as I phased back into my human form and ran out of the woods and down the road to Mercy's house, the pack following close behind. "Paul do you smell that?" Jarred asks when we get closer to the house and I take a deep breath; 'blood' I could smell blood and then began sprinting faster crashing into Mercy's house looking for the danger. "MERCY! MERCY" I yell Its quiet dangerously quiet the boys have now entered the house as I am climbing up the stairs to Mercy's room and I bang open the door not expecting what is in front of me. "MERCY!" I yell and hurry to her side my friend is on her side her wrist's slashed with a pocket knife beside her and her black hair mixing with the blood as she is tilting to the side, her Quielete tanned skin is pale beneath the tan and I can barely hear her breathing. "Paul!" I hear Sam yell as he bangs open the door looking for the danger and spots me on the floor next to Mercy and his face pales and Yells for the pack and Quil, Embry, Jacob and Jarred burst through and spot and all instantly come forward to help. "We have to stop the bleeding" Sam commands and begins to rip the sheets on Mercy's bed and tying it around her wrists. "Call an Ambulance now" I can't even move I'm frozen by Mercy's side while Sam wraps her wrists and the rest of the pack searches for a phone.
"Paul MOVE!" Sam yells and hits me and I come back to my senses and pick Mercy up; she is light weight it looks like she has lost weight and her singlet she is wearing reveals the cuts and scars on her skin that I knew weren't there three months ago, Oh God I caused this. My eyes water and tears begin to fall at there own will, "COME ON MERCY STAY WITH ME!" I yell you have to make it please, please please" I yell then fall to pleading as I look at her to pale face and barely breathing chest. "Please Stay with me please" I whisper hoarsely and Jacob takes Mercy from me as the paramedics go to grab her from my arms, 'guess the Ambulance came pretty fast' I think numbly as they load Mercy in. "Please mercy, please".