Disclaimer : I still don't own 'em…I keep wishing on falling stars, blowing out all the candles on my cake, but still they're not mine…
Spoiler : "Stealing Home"
He walked away from her! He actually walked away from her! He was caged like an animal, with a rap sheet as long as her arm, and he had the audacity to walk away from her!
Lindsey kicked a large pebble…hard…and watched as it skitted off of the pathway in front of her.
It ate at her, not knowing why he had killed the Mermaid…why he had killed Sarah. So young. So fresh. So full of dreams.
It ate at her, not knowing that if Time had been kind enough to let Sarah live, whether she and her father would have made up. She imagined that if Time had allowed, they would have shared laughter again in the future…her wedding, her first born, family birthdays and trips back home to Montana.
Lindsey stared down at her own palms and saw the same marks that Sarah had had. The calluses from years of braiding rope…a discipline that required focus and skill. Something really only learned from those who knew what a wheat field looked like.
She needed to talk…to vent…to just do something that would prove to herself that she was alive. The young CSI felt consumed by this case…and by what had happened to Stella…it just seemed as if this city was consuming her…heart, body, mind, soul.
Mac would scold her in his quiet way that she was foolish to talk to Sarah's killer.
Stella…well….Stella had her own demons to exorcise for the time being.
Hawke, Sid…nah. They would start off on some physiological reasoning explaining her feelings. She didn't want that.
Danny. If Pino was right and Danny did have a crush on her…who was she kidding? She was aware enough of how Danny felt about her, but she wasn't sure about the level of his feelings…or her own. And right now, the last thing she needed to deal with was those feelings, as well.
That left Flack.
She looked up and noted the setting sun. It would be dark soon.
Sighing contentedly, Detective Donald Flack inhaled the warm, greasy smell of pepperoni, cheese, bacon and mushrooms. Supper of Champions…pizza. And knowing that he wouldn't eat the entire medium on his own tonight, tomorrow morning it would also serve as the Breakfast of Champions.
He lifted the box and hoisted out a steaming piece. He slowly inhaled again. A long day ending with comfort food. Women knew nothing about comfort food, he mused.
Closing his eyes, he leaned in for his first bite.
Knock! Knock!
Cursing, he put the slice down and made his way towards the door. On the way, he noticed the delivery man's pen. He must have accidentally kept it after signing the pizza receipt and now the man wanted it back.
Knock! Knock!
"Okay! I'm coming!" He shouted, grabbing the pen as he opened the door. "Sorry 'bout that man. Here's you pen."
Lindsey raised an eyebrow.
"Thanks!" She said as she snatched the pen from Flack's astonished face. "But I'm not a man."
The former country girl pushed Flack out of the way and entered his apartment.
"Nice boxers, Don."
He attempted to cover up…attempted being the key word.
"I wasn't expecting company."
"You always answer for the pizza guy in your boxers?" Lindsey smirked.
"No. I just took off my pants and was about to eat…" He flushed.
"You always eat in the practically nude?"
"Can I help you with something Lindsey?" He was annoyed enough to almost call her 'Montana', but reserved that honour for Danny.
She sighed loudly.
"He got to you, didn't he?" Flack asked.
"She was so young! And he wouldn't tell me why!" Lindsey protested.
"We don't always get to know why." Don offered gently.
"That's what Mac said."
"Mac's wise." Don eyed the kitchen table where his pizza sat. He could see the steam still rising. Oh, what the heck…two birds, one stone. "C'mon…I'll feed ya while we talk."
"You getting dressed first?" Lindsey asked.
"My casa is not your casa. I'm comfie and if I'm bothering your delicate senses…"
Lindsey snorted in a most decidedly non-delicate manner.
"But, I'll be host enough to get plates and napkins." He offered graciously.
"Nah…you'll just have to clean them later. I don't mind eating out of the box if you don't." Lindsey replied.
Sitting down, they each grabbed a slice. So much for his Breakfast of Champions. Not that it mattered. He had a friend in need sitting across from him.
"Why me?" Don asked, intrigued.
Lindsey shrugged.
"I wasn't your first choice, was I?" Don smiled knowingly.
"Perhaps not…but you were the best choice." Lindsey admitted.
"So what's the problem?" Flack stared at her. "Are you that hung up that he won't tell you why?"
Lindsey nodded.
"Why do you need to know?" He asked her.
"Because…" Lindsey struggled to explain. "She was so young…and he just took what he wanted, never caring what she wanted…and she was…"
"…from Montana." Flack stated simply. "It hit home for you. First Stella's incident and now this…"
"I feel like this city is just devouring me." Lindsey stared off into space. "I try to survive, but it's like one step forward for me and then it pulls me two steps back into the darkness. No matter how hard I try, it's sucking me into its depths of despair."
Flack arched an eyebrow at the eloquent statements from Lindsey.
"The darkness is everywhere, Lindsey. It doesn't matter if you're here or back in Montana…you know that. Our job is to fight it…to let hope have a fighting chance." He placed his free hand on top of hers. "This place, this job will win if you let it. But you've got to keep believing that what you're doing counts…that it matters to someone."
Lindsey looked down at their hands.
"What do you think Sarah's father feels? I know that he's broken-hearted that he's lost his daughter, but don't you think that he feels some form of hope that her killer is behind bars? That no one else's little girl will have to suffer at the hands of Sarah's killer?" Flack's tone was almost preaching. He believed in his job and what he did to help the people of this large city. It hurt him to see Lindsey giving up to her pain.
"But how do you feel if you don't know why? Don't we need to know why? How else can we give hope a chance if we don't know why they kill?" Lindsey argued.
"I know why, Lindsey." Don said softly.
She stared at him.
"Because." Was all he said.
"That's not a reason." Lindsey scoffed.
"That's what our mamma's told us when we were kids, but as adults we've discovered that sometimes 'because' is as good of a reason why as we'll ever get." Don took a bit of his slowly growing cold pizza slice.
"How do you not let it eat at you?" Lindsey asked.
"Who says I don't?" The tall man countered. "I just won't let it consume me…because the darkness will win. You have to fight, Lindsey."
"I don't know if I can."
"Then I don't know if you're cut out to do this job." He shrugged.
Lindsey glared at him.
"I can so!" She practically shouted. "I can analyze DNA, blood patterns, trace, GSR…"
"So stay in the lab where it's safe then, Lindsey. You can be a tech." Don suggested.
The glare grew in strength.
"I can do more than be a tech!" She argued.
"Then prove it."
"How?"
"Fight back." Don nudged another slice towards her. "Don't let the city win. Don't let the darkness win."
Lindsey smiled.
"I won't." She promised.
"Shall we drink to that?" Don asked. "I think I've got some wine around here."
"Ooooh." Lindsey hummed. "Drinking with Flack and seeing him in his boxers…."
"I'll spread the rumour around the locker room tomorrow…be interesting to see how Danny reacts."
Lindsey blushed.
Flack rolled his eyes as his friend and wondered how long it would take the two of them to figure out that love could also exist in the city. Love, the ultimate form of hope.