"Take 24 hours," said Giles. "Tokyo can wait."
"No," Xander said, pressing his cell phone to his ear. Reception in the Himalayas wasn't great. "I don't need a break."
"You almost died in that avalanche in Bhutan."
"Spike," Xander whispered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Was it a mirage? Spike holding him. Then stripping them both. No hot-blooded warmth, but enough insulation and activity to keep him from freezing.
Spike.
Xander.
And somehow the rule was made. First names only. No speaking. No conversation.
Then rescue arrived and Spike was gone.
Xander cried.
Xander hung up the phone with Giles. "Take a day," Giles had said. "You can take 24 hours before heading out to Madagascar."
Spike.
"No," Xander whispered. "Tell me now. What's my mission?"
Xander.
His mind flooded with memories of Spike, naked under his hands in the Coliseum. Rome in moonlight. Loving. No, fucking.
And Xander cried.
"Just—" Xander sighed. "Just tell me my mission, Giles."
"Xander, you sound like you're coming apart at the seams," said Giles.
Spike.
A youth in Beijing, pouring away the first brew of tea, then bending over, the exotically shaped teapot handle across his back, pouring perfection into a porcelain teacup.
Xander.
Spike caressing his skin. Spike sliding against his sweat. Spike sharing fragrant tea in one cup.
"Just tell me where I need to go, Giles," said Xander. Sipping tea alone.
And he cried.
"What the heck is wrong with you, mister?" said Willow in the cell phone.
"What do you mean?" Xander thought he might break, but she was his best friend and deserved to be heard.
Thap.
She hesitated. "Do you ever look up from your mission and see what's in front of you?"
"Willow, don't," Xander said, teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff.
"I'll never get Tara back," she said. "But you can have him now."
"He took everything, Willow. Everything but my love."
"Xander, my dearest and best friend," Willow said softly, "open your eye and look up."
Xander did.
"Spike!" Not sure how, he was on his feet, his stool suddenly on its side on the floor.
"Xander."
"Now you two talk," said the Red witch, "or I'll come to the Antarctic and handcuff you myself until you listen to him."
"I love you too," said Spike. "Gods, I've chased you all the way around the globe, love. How could you fucking doubt me?"
Arms closed around him and, reaching up to twine his fingers possessively in blond hair, Xander cried.