2x12 Glee Fanfiction- Rachel's thoughts while she tends to Finn with mono.
*I do not own Glee or any of its characters. *
"Quinn really is very pretty" Rachel says hoping he cannot hear the pain in her voice. He just ignores the words and tells her she does not have to take care of him. She lies and says she would do it for anyone.
"She's prettier than me" she says throwing caution to the wind. She needs to hear him admit his feelings either way.
"Would you stop?" Finn says "Your beautiful." She can almost believe him.
" I know she is" Rachel whispers before sitting down " It meant so much to me that you chose me over her. Girls like me don't get chosen over girls like her very much. Did you kiss her? Like Santana said?" She has to ask because she knew that if she walked out of the room without knowing it would hurt more than anything he had to say.
"Yeah, yeah, but I-I just needed to get it out of my system" He replied. She knew he was lying before he finished the sentence.
"So what did it feel like?" She asked hiding the pain successfully this time "when you kissed her?"
"Fireworks"
"Did you see fireworks when you kissed me?" She asked. She watched him think and she knew the answer was a no. It broke her heart. Damn near killed her because he was the only guy she ever saw fireworks with. She never loved Jesse or Puck; she just used them when Finn hurt her.
"Rachel wait." He called when she was almost to the door.
"No" she says turning around "It's good. Thank you. Look you have given me the strength to move on. I know now that there's..." she swallowed her pain before continuing "nothing here for me anymore."
"That's not the truth. I still... I'm just.. I'm so confused in my head right now." He started, but she interrupted not able to bear the the lies in his words. She was not able to listen to him anymore.
"No, it's okay. Look I understand. Now I am free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back." she ignored the look of pain that flashed across his face. After all he was the one who told her to move on "And you've actually inspired my song selection for this week's love song assignment. Feel better Finn." and with that she walks out of the nurse's office only looking back once before the curtain's fell back. His face was so sad but she chalked it up to his mono.
As she walked to the choir room her heart broke into a million tiny pieces. Finn was the first and only boy she ever loved. She tried to concentrate on Merecede's words of talent over love. She tried to delude herself that her future career was more important to her than him, but it all just left her hallow. A million times over she would pick Finn over music, but never again would she admit this. Bracing herself she stepped into the choir room and began to sing Katy Perry's Fireworks. She sang away the pain and the love, she sang until it was all she could feel. She let it all go, but she never took off the necklace of the star.