Turner Tunes:
A Proper Hunting Hat
Bugs Bunny was watering his garden, which consisted of carrots, beans, and turnips, on a sunny morning in the forest. "Ah, the forest is such a beautiful place to be on a morning like this," Bugs Bunny said to himself. It was spring time in the forest and all the animals were coming out of hibernation and all the flowers were beginning to bloom, ready for another year of great growing and nice temperatures.
It was very peaceful in the forest, Bugs Bunny knew that everything was going okay when he saw a bear come out of a cave and watched him bit off a pretty bird's head. When he saw the blood squirt out and get all over the bear's face, he knew that he was not dreaming like he was the night before.
Then Bugs Bunny felt a cold poking sensation creeping on his back, just above his fluffy tail. "I got you now you stinkin wabbit." Bugs Bunny turned around and saw that it was his shinny bald-headed friend, Elmer Fudd.
"Don't move wabbit, or I'll bwast 'ya!" said Elmer, now pointing his gun at Bug's face.
"Say doc, don't you know it's illegal to be hunting rabbits without a proper hunting hat?"
Elmer lowered his weapon and looked at Bugs in a confusing manor. "A proper hunting hat?"
"Yeah a proper hunting hat! Everyone's gotta have one of those if you want hunt rabbits. Not one of these ugly wool caps."
Bugs slapped off Elmer's wool cap and it landed in a pile of bear poo. Then Bugs stomped on it until it was completely covered with the bear poo and smelt like it too.
"Hey I liked that hat that hat you crwasy wabbit!" Elmer yelled in anger and raised his gun back up to meet Bug's eyes.
"Relax doc, relax." Bugs placed his hands on the gun and slowly lowered until it was vertical to the ground.
"Lucky for you I happen to have a large stock of proper hunting hats, ready to be sold to my good friends of the forest."
"Oh boy!" Elmer clapped his hands jumped with glee and excitement.
Then Elmer stopped jumping and clapping and got real serious and said to Bugs, "hey, wait a minute. Just exactlwy how much is this hat going to cost."
"Don't worry about it doc. This one is on the house."
Elmer got real happy again but didn't jump around and clap this time for some reason.
"Wait here doc." Bugs went down into his rabbit hole and got one of his home-made pipe-bombs and stuck into a sombrero. "Their you have it, one proper hunting hat for Elmer," Bugs giggled with a big smile on his face. He then lit the fuse on the pipe-bomb and climbed out of his hole and went to greet Elmer with the hat with a big smile still on his face.
"Here you go doc! One proper hunting hat, enjoy!" Bugs said while cracking up with laughter.
"Gee thanks wabbit!" Then elmer equipped his newly acquired proper hunting hat and was very happy because now he could shoot Bugs in the face and go home.
"Okay wabbit, say your prwayers!" Elmer pointed his shotgun at Bugs's face and was as ready as he ever would be to pull the trigger.
"Say doc, do you smell something burning?"
Elmer took a long and loud sniff of the air around him and he too smelt the burning. Elmer started to feel lots of pain on the top of his head and screamed, "Ouch ouch ouch! My head! My head!" He removed his hat and held it out in front of him so he could see inside of it. He peaked inside the hat and said, "Huh?"
The proper hunting hat then exploded in Elmer's face and a big cloud of dust and red colors shot everywhere and scattered about the forest. Red stuff got splattered all over the place like on the tall maple trees, in the murky pond, in the rose bushes, on the puffy forest critters, all over the green grass, and even on Bugs's cotton bunny tail. Elmer's face disappeared, it was gone from this planet now and impossible to put back together again... not that Bugs would want to.
Bugs thought that blowing off Elmer's face was really funny so he was laughing for a really long time. He rolled around on the ground in laughter and wouldn't stop even though he was probably rolling around in what used to be Elmer's face. But he eventually stopped laughing and got back up and wiped all the face stuff off his body and tail.
"Phew phew. Gross." Bugs had to spit and wipe off his teeth because he somehow got blood in them.
"Well, a job well done." Bugs went back into his hole to make more proper hunting hats, in case more hunters needed one.
That's all!