[He silently, desperately prays—not to a majestic entity, but to the entire universe.]
Even if there isn't anyone out there who would listen.
To: Aominecchi
Subject: Hey
I don't mean to be too forward or anything but
I would very much like to make sweet love with you
"No, no...That sounds way too needy! And awkward!" said a frustrated boy with flaxen hair. Backspace, backspace to hell and back. His subsequent sigh was so heavy his whole spirit could have been released with that one exhale. And at that moment, he did look soulless and hopeless, as if all happiness was wrung out of him.
Why can't I get this right? Why?
Late at night, with his back against the wall, he rehearsed a thousand different declarations. They all boiled down to one simple confession. Of course, it should be simple. However, such a phrase did not come easy to his lips, or his fingertips. You would think pouring your heart out into a text message made the predicament painless, not as embarrassing.
That wasn't so for Kise Ryouta, because his jumbled thoughts became jumbled characters on the screen. In all honesty, he hated this recreant method. When he does admit that his feelings stretch past the limits of friendship, he wanted him and Aomine to be face-to-face. But, lately, it was a struggle just to hold a conversation with that guy.
Because it's him, that's why. I already knew I was fighting a losing battle the moment I realized.
Sufficiently defeated by his own insecurities, he slid down to the floor, carelessly letting his cell phone fall out of his grasp. It skidded across the room, forgotten. That was when the ache began to rake through his skull.
The more I want him, the more futile it gets.
Shaking, slightly afraid of these fresh emotions wrangling within him, he let out an exhausted cry. The pain bloomed behind his temple. The sensation was relentless as he sobbed.
"Wh-What can I do?!" he howled anguishly, burying his head into his arms. "It's impossible, no matter…how hard I train, how much I improve, I-I'm not worth shit!"
Am I?
What is the point?
He
won't
care.
It felt like a million needles were scraping beneath his cranium. Tomorrow, he'll smile and laugh as always. No one will suspect a thing, least of all the ace of the Teiko basketball team.