TITLE: Man, I feel like a woman
PAIRINGS: Nick and Greg
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. NOTHING. I don't own CSI, I don't own Shania Twain, I don't own little Richard, I don't own whoever sings "It's Raining Men", I don't own Robert Palmer, and I don't own JC Chasez. Nor do I own a house. Yet.
SUMMARY: The CSIs all go to a Karaoke bar, despite MUCH protesting from Greg.
A/N: I have a confession to make to y'all. I was listening to a Shania Twain CD the other day. I'm sorry. But, it did inspire me to do this fanfiction, so I think it's a forgiveable offence, right? Will you forgive me?
Ha, you don't have to. Just read the story.
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"A KARAOKE BAR!"
Greg was stunned. "Me! In a Karaoke bar! Surely you're not serious? You're playing with me, pulling my leg or something... A karaoke bar! Nick, how long have we been together! A KARAOKE BAR!"
"Aw, come on Greg, it could be fun!" Nick grinned, tugging at Greg's shirt. "Please? Everyone else is coming, I want you to be there as well."
"Who's everyone else?" Greg asked suspiciously.
"Catherine, Warrick, Sara, Sophia, Grissom-"
"Grissom!" Greg cried. "You're telling me that Gil Grissom is actually setting foot in a karaoke bar!"
Nick nodded proudly.
"You're lying to me!" Greg protested.
"No he's not," Grissom said for the doorway. "Come on Greg, be a good sport."
"Be a good sport!" Greg spat playfully. "What is with everyone today!"
"Technically I could pull rank and make you come," Grissom explained subtly.
"That's not fair!" Greg protested.
"Well, G, if you really don't want to go," Nick sighed, trying to guilt Greg into going to the bar.
"Fine!" Greg cracked easily, he never did hold up well under guilt. "Fine! But I'm NOT singing. AT ALL!"
"You don't have to sing," Nick explained. "But that could change once you get some alcohol inside you."
"I don't think so," Greg joked. "I DON'T sing."
"Not yet," Grissom said quietly.
"NOT EVER!"
"Give it time," Grissom said simply.
"Hell will freeze over before I sing in a karaoke bar," Greg said flatly. "I can promise you that."
"Sure. Whatever."
"I mean it!"
"Of course you do, Greg, now let's go!" Nick grabbed Greg's hand, and dragged him out of the lab.
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The seven CSIs all went to the Karaoke bar, a few blocks from the strip. It had been open a few weeks, and everyone was raving about it. It wasn't too busy in there, and Greg was glad that he didn't recognise anyone.
Sara was the first to take to the mic. Shania Twain.
"Let's go girls!" she said playfully, singing "Man, I feel like a woman."
As the introduction started, Greg begged for someone to kill him. "Please? Come on, you're all CSIs, dammit! You know how to cover it up, you could get away with it. No one would know. Honestly! Please? Catherine?"
Catherine laughed. "Aw, come on. Sara's pretty good."
"SHE'S SINGING SHANIA TWAIN!"
"The best thing about being a woman-" Sara sang.
"Is the prerogative to have a little fun
Uh-uh-oh!
Go totally crazy
Forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts
Short skirts
Uh-uh-oh!
Really go wild, yeah
Doing it in style
Uh-uh-oh!
Get in the action
Feel the attraction
Colour my hair
Do what I dare
Uh-uh-oh!
I wanna be free to feel the way I feel
Man, I feel like a woman"
"Anyone?" Greg pleaded. "I can't take this. I swear, I can't cope. This is hell!"
"G, shut up, have a beer or something." Nick handed a bottle to Greg.
Greg sulked, and sipped his beer.
"Man, I feel like a woman
Hey!"
The instrumental started, and Sara started dancing. Everyone in the bar was clapping along, even Greg. Well, he wasn't technically clapping, he was smashing his head against the wall, but he was going in time to the music, so it could be considered clapping.
"Oh oh!
Oh oh yeah!
I'm totally crazy!
Can you feel it?
Come on baby!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
I feel like a woman!" Sara took a bow at the end of her rendition, and then came back to the table of CSIs.
"Sara, you're really good!" Nick beamed. "Where did you learn to sing?"
"College," Sara replied, reaching for a bottle of beer.
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Warrick was the next one brave enough to take to the mic. He sang Little Richard's "Tutti Frutti", which had the whole of the bar hooked from the opening rock 'n' roll battle cry of "Awop bopa loo bap, a wop bam boom!" Greg didn't object too much to this one, he didn't totally hate Rock 'n' Roll music.
Catherine and Sophia weren't brave enough to sing at first, but after a few beers, they did a duet. A nice drunken version of "It's raining men".
After a couple too many beers, Grissom sang "Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer, which seemed to go down well. But it was difficult to see what people enjoyed most, the fact that Grissom was tipsy, or the fact that he was tipsy and singing karaoke. Luckily, he managed to keep his clothes on.
Then, Nick went to the mic. Greg tried to hide under the table, and deny all knowledge of knowing Nick, especially when he realised Nick was singing a Shania Twain song.
"You know, this is what I hate most about Nick," he told Sara. "His love of SHANIA TWAIN! Why, WHY does he do it to me?" Greg leant down, and smacked his head on the table, as Nick dedicated the song to him.
"Can people still see me?"
"Yes, Greggo, they can," Sophia replied. "Come on, Nick's singing to you! At least watch him!"
Greg tore his eyes away from the floor, and watched Nick, listening to the lyrics he was singing.
"I don't need a shrink
To tell me what to think
There ain't no missing link
In my lovelife
It's alright
I ain't that uptight
No I don't need a psychic
'Cause I don't really like it
When someone tries to tell me
Just what my future holds
I already know
Your love keeps me alive
You're all I need to survive
I got ya by my side
So I'm holding on
I feel it strong, baby
You're the one for all my life
Yeah, I'm holding out
There ain't no doubt
I can't live without you
All my life
I'm holding onto love to save my life"
Greg tried to erase the memory of Nick clapping his hands and stamping his feet. He tried his damnedest to erase that memory. His damnedest.
"I don't need to get
All caught up on the net
'Cause I'm already set
Now can't you understand,
I've already got my man?
No I don't need proof
To show me the truth
And not even Doctor Ruth
Is gonna tell me how I feel"
Nick pulled the microscope out of the stand, and slowly walked over to Greg, still singing.
"I know our love is real
Well your love keeps me alive
You're all I need to survive
I got ya by my side
So I'm holding on
I feel it strong, baby
You're the one for all my life
Yeah, I'm holding out
There ain't no doubt
I can't live without you
All my life
I'm holding onto love to save my life"
There was a pause in the music, and for a split second Greg thought the song was over.
"Kiss me!"
The instrumental started. Greg shook his head. "No way! Nick, I'm not kissing you! No!" Greg laughed, and turned his head away from Nick. "Get off!"
Nick forced a kiss from Greg, before walking back to the stage, and singing the rest of the song. At the end he practically got a standing ovation everyone was clapping so much. Nick took a bow, and then came back over to the table. "Hey."
"Hey." Greg pulled Nick towards him, kissing him hungrily. Now the singing was over, Greg was a bit more keen to the idea of kissing Nick.
"Greg, go and sing!" Catherine practically pushed Greg out of his seat.
"What do I sing?" Greg asked nervously, downing the last half of his beer in one.
"Anything!" Sara said.
"But not Crazy Frog!" Sophia added.
"Yeah!" said Catherine. "You sing that: You die."
"I'm gonna die anyway!" Greg ran up to the stage, madly trying to think of a song. Eventually, he came up with one, and it started. JC Chasez. All day long. He dedicated it to Nick.
THE END