POST SCRIPTUM
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Hello to everyone! So sorry for the long delay. This epilogue took me much more time than I thought... I was looking for inspiration and, well, then one thing leads to another and what had to be just a one more chapter became a sort of a little two-parts sequel. Maybe this is not one of my best works but I know there are people out there that can come and find me (and kick my ass) if I don't post it right now! ;) So, here the first part! I hope you'll enjoy it. The second part is coming very soon (the real epilogue *LOL*)
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CLOSING THE LOOP
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Happiness.
Happiness never comes alone. It's overwhelming and addictive. And yet, it's fleeting, like a flap of wings. And as soon as you realize how much happy you are, how addicted you are to it, you realize you can't allow yourself to lose it. It's in that bare moment that happiness turns in worry and concern.
The only time you're afraid is when you're happy. You just don't expect it to last.
"What's wrong?"
He looked at her in the dim light of the room, her blue eyes staring at the shadows moving on the ceiling with every car passing on the highway.
She turned her head to meet his eyes despite the half darkness and smiled slightly, moving a hand on his cheek and stroking him lightly with her thumb.
"Nothing's wrong" she whispered, stroking his lower lip.
"A lie" He replied, staring at her as she bit her lip and smiled, looking at the ceiling again and shaking her head.
"Not a lie. At most... a half truth." She answered, turning her head to look at him again.
He just looked at her, waiting for her to speak again, but she didn't.
"Have you changed your mind?"
Her eyes widened and her 'no' came so fast that he could have no doubt left that she really meant it.
He looked at her again, moving a hand to caress her arm just with the tip of his fingers.
"I'm not so naive to think that your ex coming back from death and bumping again into your life doesn't upset you, Cuddy. And the last thing I want is screwing your life again" He said in such a sincere tone that almost caught her off guard.
"I'm not upset, House," She said, turning toward him more and using her elbow as a prop to look better at him "but, I can't say I'm not worried. It's not just the two of us..." She said, her hand resting on his chest as her fingers absently caressed the light hair on it "... as soon as I'm full aware the freak-control part of me would need some time to find its own balance first, I can't allow myself to hide this from them any longer. Waiting is just going to make things more difficult for the three of the-"
House's hand found hers on his own chest, stopping her caress as she gave him a puzzled look.
The three of them? Shit, how could he have been so fool?Of course there had to be another man in her life. After all, she had written that letter two and a half years ago, a lot of water had run under the bridges in so much time. Maybe she hadn't a proper relationship, a sexual one, but... was he really destined to be the man to whom she ran just a second later after having dumped her boyfriend?
"What?" She asked, taking his face and forcing him to look at her.
"Three?"
His piercing gaze met hers and she stared back, holding his gaze as her hand found his shoulder avoiding him from sitting up.
"... 'liking you right like you are' doesn't mean you have always to behave like an ass" She said firmly as he stared back at her.
"Does this mean there's not a guy drooling for you?" He asked still looking at her in a firm and somehow calm tone that anyway didn't hide a hint of bother.
"No," She answered "but the only man I ever drooled for is the one asking" She said with the same look, this time moving on top of him so she could straddle him, then leaning down to find his lips tentatively.
He didn't push her away and instead lingered on her lips, savouring that feeling and the one which that light kiss was enough to trigger in his groin. One of his hands cupped her butt and the other one found the back of her neck, keeping her still and exactly right there where he wanted her. His tongue found hers in a deeper kiss, before his mouth focused its attention down on her neck and breast. She couldn't help but moan as soon as he found her nipple sucking on it, and she couldn't help but instinctively rock her hips, her sex stroking his manhood in such a way that he couldn't help but moan in turn against her skin. He let go of her breast and his breath stopped as soon as she took him in a one slow but deep move, burying him inside her.
Fuck... she felt so good. Her curls, falling on his face as she kissed him, were another of the thing that drove him were shorter than she had ever had, like if she had tried to cut-back on the past starting from her hair. Anyway, the way they waved grazing his skin with every thrust wasn't less intoxicating. Nor her scent. Her skin. Her tongue. Her moans. She filled all his five senses. He let her set the pace, just letting go to the feeling of being inside her. Her folder already throbbing around him so near to her orgasm that he just wanted to hear her screaming his name and share that pleasure, coming with her and pouring once again himself into her. That bare thought was almost enough to make him come. But...shit! How could the few blood still in his brain be enough for letting it form a clear thought? Why couldn't he just stop being himself?
"Who's the third one?" He half-asked half-groaned as his mind wasn't really thinking properly.
"What?"
That 'what' almost choked in her throat and she opened her eyes meeting his.
"You said the three of them"
"Oh my God, do you really want to talk about this right now?" She replied still moving on him as she could barely hold the feeling throbbing in her lower abdomen and between her legs, the pleasure almost unbearable...
She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes again, tilting her head back slightly and stopping as her thighs stiffened. She sighed heavily and looked down at him again, giving him a death look and rolling at his side at the same time. He sighed in turn at his own stubbornness and looked at her. On her back, one hand on her eyes and the other one pressing on her lower abdomen as she was trying to ease her incipient orgasm, her breathing still laboured and her teeth biting completely on her lower lip.
He reached for her, whispering a 'sorry' as his hand moved slowly from her stomach down to her navel, meeting her hand and then trying to go even down... until her hand suddenly stopped his in a fast move. His gaze meeting hers.
"No way I'm gonna have an orgasm thinking about your mother, House!" She said in a bothered tone, glaring at him and meeting his now very puzzled look.
She bit her lip and sighed again, rolling on her side and propping on her elbow again.
"Well, I dreamed of you and Thirteen once" He said with a naughty look in an attempt of playing down "But putting my mother in a hot dream is too much even for me, Cuddy" He said as a strong slap reached his chest making him startle.
He looked at her as she suddenly moved the sheet away and got up, ignoring his attempt of reaching for her arm.
"C'mon, I was kidding" He said in what was now more a worried than an amused tone, looking at her naked body as she looked for her mobile and then tossed it to him. His 'I'm sor-' almost choked in his throat as his eyes caught the picture on the screen. A smiling Blythe sitting on what he remembered as Cuddy's coach but in a different living room, Gregory on one knee and a smiling Rachel on the other one. Rachel's arm around his mother's neck and a bright gap-toothed smile.
He didn't say anything for a while, just watching that picture and processing that information. His mother was the last person he expected to see there in that picture, and the truth was that he wasn't ready to see her. He hadn't tried to talk to her after Wilson's death. He had thought about it, but he had changed his mind in the right moment that thought had come into his mind. He wasn't ready to face her. He couldn't face her. She had got married to an abusive man who could provide for her and her bastard unborn child thinking that was enough for living a normal live. How wrong she was! Her husband had been abusive with her as much as with her son, maybe not 'as much as' since he probably hadn't ever given her ice baths, but he knew that at that time a slap was enough to shut her up. That had been enough for scaring her and turning her in a sort of devote wife. She knew about her husband's way of 'correcting' her son's nature, but she was too fragile and scared for replying. And acting like 'nothing of this is happening' was her way to protect herself. Well, at least he knew from who he had taken his egoism. But differently from him she wasn't able to be alone. That's why she never divorced. A sort of Stockholm syndrome, even if he knew that aging had got his father better... at least with her. Without a son who drove him crazy he was less often angry and she knew how to keep him that way. He couldn't really blame her for the hell his childhood had been. She had been a victim of an abusive man, like him. And that was why he couldn't face her right now. How could him? After having turned in an even bad version of his own father?
Cuddy looked at him, his gaze still focused on that picture, and she sat down on the bed near him, caressing his arm.
"Gregory found her, in the same way he found you. I think he'll end up being expelled from the nursery school someday. That's would make him even more precocious than you!" She said with a slight smile as he turned his head toward her, meeting her gaze as the corner of his lip curled up a little. She caressed his arm again as she spoke "I couldn't trust my eyes when I saw her holding hands with my child. Um... she was in town to visit a friend, she fell and ended up with a dislocated wrist. Nothing serious. Well, actually she ended up with a dislocated wrist and a grandson" She said again, trying to make him smile but this time not succeeding in that.
"She moved in Boston a few month ago. She'll be so happy, House" She said again, as her fingers slowly moved up and down the veins of his forearm trying to ease what was going on inside him.
"She shouldn't Cuddy" He replied in a low tone "She should hate me"
Her hand stopped suddenly and took instead his face, forcing him to look straight into her eyes.
"No mother can hate her child, House" She said in a so firm tone that for a second she almost had the power to convince him.
"She should" He repeated "You should too. I do hate myself"
She sighed and ran a hair in her hair.
"She doesn't hate you. I don't hate you" She paused just to give him time to clearly hear those words, and enough for her to see his doubts in his eyes "I did. For a few months I did. But the truth is I hated myself most. For having allowed us to go that further. You gave the worse of yourself. And I'm not talking about that damned crash. I'm talking about letting you get married to that bitch. I'm talking about letting you be the asshole you were after we broke-up. And yes, I hated you for not having fought for us. For having just stayed there letting me throw away what we had. I hate myself for having been the bitch I was. And I hated you for letting me be that bitch. Because what we had was something it was worth to fight for, House. Do you think I didn't get rid of Gregory just because I wanted a pregnancy for years? Do you think I was so clouded to carry the baby of an abusive man just because I desperately wanted a baby? I never thought about abortion. Because deep down I never stopped loving you. And... I moved because I couldn't stand the thought of people looking at me like I was insane. I didn't see nor talk to my mother or Julia for months, House. There was just me and Rachel and the unborn little one who reminded me of you with every one of his kicks. You're a lot of things, House, but you're not abusive. You never was. And what you did for Wilson... well, that just strengthens a certainty for me. You're stubborn, unpredictable, insane in your own way and a real pain in the ass, but you're not a bad man"
"I could have killed you... I could have killed our child."
"I could have stopped that" She said, sighing again "I could have stopped that vicious cycle" She pointed out taking the phone from his hands and looking for something on it.
"You didn't read it that afternoon" She said, handing him her mobile again and referring to the text on the screen "I should have..."
She bit her lip and looked away.
"You texted me to come to you?" He asked with a quizzical look, looking up from the screen "You were there with a guy..."
"A friend of Julia. I met him in the cafeteria, but I wasn't expecting her to take him with her and Eric when she called me saying she was coming by" She looked briefly at him "You know how good I am in put on my grin-and-bear-it smile. The last thing I needed was a date when I was still processing that I was carrying the baby of the man I was still in love with but who was probably screwing his new wife" She said running a hand in her hair "My stomach was so upside down I just wanted to throw up"
"What-? We talked in the hallway not even a few hours earlier, Cuddy. And all you said was 'I'm sorry'..."
She ignored his half-hurt half-annoyed tone, and ran again a hand in her hair, stopping it on her forehead.
"After that fight in the hallway, I almost passed out in my office bathroom. I hadn't paid attention at missing my period since it was never regular when I wasn't on the pill, until... until that. That was the moment in which a bell rang in my mind and that's why I ran a pregnancy test. I knew that I probably was going to miscarry again, like the first time, but it wasn't something I wanted, or could, hide to you... I should just have come to you, at your apartment, but I wasn't in the mood of facing the stupid smile of that -" She stopped, just moving her hand in a I-do-not-even-want-to-think-about-her way "So... I just texted you." She shook her head, covering her eyes for a second with her hand, then running that hand on her face and looking at him straight in the eyes "Then, well... you came to me, but not in the way I expected... so, yeah, we screwed everything. We both did. But I'm not going to repeat those mistakes again." She found his hand holding it tightly "So... now... I'm gonna get dressed, I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna talk to them... and you're gonna come with me. No is not an option" She said in which was now her administrative tone.
He cupped her cheek and let his thumb caress her cheekbone, then moving on her lips.
"Are you trying again to fix me?" He asked, watching her lips and then her eyes again.
She shook her head, cupping in turn his cheek with her hand.
"I'm trying to be happy again" She whispered on his lips "And I'm still presumptuous enough to think I'm the woman who can make you happy too."
She brushed her lips on his, just savouring that closeness.
"You are" He whispered on her lips, looking into her eyes.
"Presumptuous?" She asked, smiling and holding his gaze.
He smiled in turn, nodding slightly.
"Um... that either"
He brushed her lips again, then finding her tongue in a long deep kiss.
Her bed.
The same bed that could have been their bed. That should have been their bed.
It was familiar and intimidating at the same time. It had shared their passion but much more than that. Their silent sleep in each other arms. Their caresses, even the ones they shared when they thought the other one was asleep. Their muffled laughs in an attempt of not waking up Rachel, asleep in the near bedroom.
He perfectly remembered the last time he had been on it and... under it.
He mentally shook his head, trying to erase that image from his mind. So sweet and so bitter at the same time.
He just stood there, in the middle of that room, looking at Cuddy's back and at her mirrored image in the mirror in front of her as she let one arm slip into the shirt sleeve and then the other one; the two half side of fabric meeting in the middle of her chest, hiding her black lace bra from his view.
"Air in. Air out" He said wrapping her waist from behind and meeting her puzzled look in the mirror as soon as she looked up from the button which her slightly trembling fingers were unsuccessfully trying to button. Her 'what?' as clear in her eyes as if she had said it out loud.
"Just remembering you how breathing works" He said, teasing her and kissing the side of her neck.
She opened her mouth to reply but closed it at the ring of the doorbell.
"Stay here" She said resting a hand on his chest "I'm gonna be back soon"
He laughed, kissing her hair.
"I stayed sort of six feet under for 4 months, and much long in a cell. I can stay here as long as you want. Even more if in the meantime I can rummage among your panties." He gave her a smut look, wrapping her body again and cupping her butt as his lips, at just one inch from hers, were enough to send shivers down her spine even without touching her.
"You still have a fetish for my panties?" She asked as the corners of her lips curled almost imperceptibly.
"I still hope to find sex toys among them" he teased her, again trying to downplay the tension haunting over them "You know I always told you that wrought-bed of yours would have been perfect for bondage".
She rolled her eyes at him, this time stacking her tongue in her cheek.
"So bad you didn't get me a pair of handcuffs as souvenir then" She teased in turn "You lost your chance, House!" She added as a smile finally lit her eyes, making them bright, and her hand patted his chest slightly to highlight her words.
She kissed him on the lips giving him one last look and then exiting the room as he smiled in turn.
Her children ran toward her as soon as she opened the door and she held them in a long hug before letting go of them, turning to Blythe.
The old woman just looked at her, taking her jacket off and glancing at the set table in the dining room and at the two children already sat on the carpet in front of the TV, then following her in the kitchen.
"Please, take a seat. There's something we need to talk about..."
She looked at the expectant look in her eyes. She knew she surely looked like crap. Actually she felt like heaven and hell at the same time. Too many feelings struggling inside her. She needed to be in control. Ever. And now she definitely wasn't. Her previous life crashing with the new one. It would have been easier if it was just the two of them. She and House. But it wasn't. And the burden of the impact that news could have on her family and life was something she could barely handle right now.
"Um... it's about Greg..." She said, sitting down in front of Blythe and biting her lower lip, looking for her own words "um, I don't think there's an easy way to say this..."
Blythe just stared at her, looking at Cuddy as instead she avoided her eyes for a few seconds then meeting her gaze again.
"Lisa, if you're gonna tell me something like that he's not my son's child, I-"
"No." She interrupted her "No," she repeated... "of course he's Gregory's father. It's not this... it's..."
She avoided her gaze again, looking down at her own hands. She hadn't got her son's blue eyes, but sometimes those green eyes could pierce her like House's ones use to do. And even if Blythe hadn't got her son's skills of reading her like an open book yet, Cuddy knew she could sense her tension. She inhaled deeply and took Blythe hands.
"Lisa, you're scaring me right now... what's wrong with my baby boy?"
She realized just then that they weren't talking about the same Greg. Obviously they weren't. But she couldn't avoid tears escaping her control and misting her eyes, this time definitely scaring Blythe to death.
"God, honey, please... he's all my life and I can't even think about..."
Cuddy stopped her, squeezing her hands in hers.
"Mine too. Both of them..." She pointed out with a half smile "Gregory is fine. It wasn't the little one the one I was referring to. House...Greg... he..."
Oh God! Why it was so difficult? She never ran out of words! Shit! Never but now...
"I know I'm gonna sound insane but..."
"Well, actually she is since she agreed to take me here"
They both turned their head simultaneously looking at the man on the door. Their mouths opening lightly even if no sound came from them. Their eyes fixed on him until they both looked down, again at the same time, at the two arms which suddenly wrapped his waist.
He looked down at the two bright blue eyes staring at him.
"I knew you'd come back, you bloody scallywag!"
In a way it had been much easier than she thought. Maybe not with Blythe, but sure with the children. Rachel hadn't stop talking all the time, telling him every detail of her school day like if she had seen him just the day before. Gregory had been quite quiet at the beginning, almost studying him to understand if he was still the same person he had met at the hospital. But he hadn't been upset at all by the word 'father'. That's how being a two years old is. No why or if. His father coming back from afterlife was for him somehow like watching a mowed-down Will Coyote getting back on his feet. Obviously it hadn't been the same with Blythe. She had kept a sphinx face during the entire dinner, exchanging just a few piercing looks with her son and some smiles with the children. It was clear that she was as relieved as hurt by her son's behaviour.
Cuddy looked briefly at them through the window facing the porch. House's hand holding his mother's one as they both sat on the bench facing the yard in the warm breeze of that summer night. She couldn't see Blythe's face since she turned her back on her, but she knew she was crying. She could clearly see it, mirrored on House's look. The same one of Gregory. And her heart ached at that view.
Time for recrimination had finished. Time for games had finished. No more hide and seek. And that was something he and his mother needed to sort out together. She was not part of that. None of them saw her as she just closed the curtain, leaving them to fight against the ghosts of their past.
She caught his gaze as soon as she walked out of her patient room and held his gaze. Even after three years she still felt like she has a sort of radar telling her about his presence. She fought a smile back as she walked toward the man standing in the hallway with his back against the wall. His hands in the pockets of his black jeans and a half opened blue shirt revealing the white T-shirt under it.
She stopped just in front of him, running her tongue on her lips and giving him a glare.
"Dr Cuddy! The sexiest Head of Endocrinology!" He greeted her with a nod of his head, despite the mischievous tone of his voice and the way in which his piercing blue eyes looked down at her grey skirt and then up at her blue shirt, just partially hidden under her white coat "I'm pretty sure my testicles need a check, Doc!"
She just held his gaze, again fighting against the corners of her lips from curling up.
"Dr. Mayer is a good urologist. Third door on the left." She replied looking straight into his eyes as House's lips curled in disgust.
"I could have said my thyroid, Cuddy, but I'm sure it wouldn't be fun enough" He said, teasing her as this time she couldn't hold back the hint of a smile.
They looked at each other, holding each other gaze for a while, fighting for dominance as they had done so many times in the past. Until her look darkened. She looked down at the tip of her own shoes and then up at him again.
"You left" She said, running again her tongue on her lips, this time in a discomfort way, then biting her lower lip "Last night... you left" She repeated.
He closed his eyes for a brief moment, then looking at her again.
"You were asleep" He said in a soft tone "Beautiful. Half-naked. And asleep" He added with a sly smile slowly enunciating every word.
"It doesn't mean you had to leave without saying a word" She said in an annoyed tone, glaring at him again "And for the record I wasn't half-naked" She pointed out, looking around before whispering those last words.
He looked at her with an amused look.
"For the record," He whispered, in turn leaning on her so his lips grazed the lobe of her ear "I love that micro piece of fabric you still use to call pajamas"
He looked into her eyes again, this time meeting her half smile.
"I wished you was gonna stay last night" She said biting her lip in that way that drove him crazy.
"I..." He looked at her again, for a brief moment tempted to tell her how much he had missed her the previous night and how bad it had been to came back in that motor inn room where the bed sheets still smelled like her, until his usual himself took control "...next time you want my hot body warming you, Cuddy, be sure of not having the wrong little Greg in your bed" He said with a very mischievous look as this time she rolled her eyes at him.
He looked at Cuddy as she kissed Rachel goodnight and tucked her in, then sitting down on Gregory's bed, caressing his hair. For an instant House felt out of place, like if he was peeking at a familiar routine he wasn't allowed to take part anymore. He had shared that routine for months, reading for Rachel and driving Cuddy crazy because of his habit of changing every 'happily ever after' with a creepy ending, but now that time seemed so far. There was a gap of two and a half years that he couldn't fill.
"Paul is no sleepy" Gregory said, hugging his stuffed penguin.
"What about a bed story? Paul likes bed stories, right?" She replied caressing his hair again as he nodded.
"But not one of those stupid story of yours, Gregory!" Rachel said from her bed, sitting up and glaring at her brother, meeting both her brother and her mother's glare, then turning to look at House and again at her mother "I want one of House's stories" She said, then adding a 'please' at the look Cuddy gave her for not having used the 'magic' word.
Like if one of those pair of blue eyes wasn't piercing and bossy enough, three pair of them turned simultaneously to look at him, and he couldn't help but smile, then shaking his head and looking up to stare back at Cuddy, trying to read her as Rachel added another 'pleeeease'.
"Ehm... I don't know if he remember one, Rach-"
A laugh escape House's mouth and she turned to look at him.
"I think it's one of those things I can still do despite my age, Cuddy" He replied, giving her a mischievous look as she smiled and rolled her eyes, biting slightly her lower lip.
"Well, if it's ok for House it's ok for me" She said looking at her daughter and then again at House as Rachel's eyes shone "But, not one of those creepy pirate stories" She pointed out, glaring at House.
Rachel pouted a little, but nodded, patting her bed sheets and gesturing him to sit down on her bed.
"Ok. An old classic of English Literature then," He began, looking at Cuddy.
All children are gonna grow up. All but one. His name is Peter, a mischievous little boy who refuses to grow up...
Two and a half years. Two and a half years that faded out in two and half minutes since he began to speak. Her child's eyes sparkling like they used to every time he gave her a bit of his time. But this time there were not one but two pair of them.
The pirates were furious. 'Get the board! You're gonna be food for crocodiles!' Captain Hood shouted, drawing his sword as his hook shone in the sun light...
House couldn't help but smile and shake his head at Rachel as soon as Gregory climbed up in his mother's lap, curling in her arms. Cuddy just smiled at him, holding her son. She had missed House so much. She had missed this... this part of him. The funny voices he was able of when he told Rachel a story, making her giggle and sometimes hide half her face under her bed sheets. She could almost see Peter Pan flying in the sky as Tinker Bell's wings shining.
House watched her. Her fingers tracing Gregory's little arm as his eyes fluttered, slowly letting go to sleep. His little hand on her breast, partially hidden under the fabric of her shirt, his little fingers caressing her skin. He felt a pang at that view. That was the most natural thing in the world... obviously a reminder of the many times she had breast-fed him. And his heart ached. He just wanted to go back... to be there with her. Holding her hand during labor and pacing up and down in those sleepless night that came after.
"And then?" Rachel voice asked, claiming for his attention again as Cuddy looked up at him in turn.
They looked at each other and she just smiled slightly, biting her lip at the look in his eyes.
"Oh, well, then Peter Pan..."
She closed the door of her children's bedroom and looked at him as he silently walked down the hallway and down the stairs, her eyes following his moves as he reached for his jacket and then turned to look at her, meeting her gaze and smiling, wrapping an arm around her waist and bending down to find her lips.
"What part of 'I wished you was gonna stay last night' didn't you get this morning?" She softly asked, raising both her eyebrows and looking straight into his eyes, resting her hand on his chest and then putting both her arms around his neck.
"Gregory is in his bed" she said smiling, then adding a 'well, at least for now' at the thought of how that was mathematically going to last at most a few hours before the little one silently came into her bed. "I'm not used anymore to sleep without a Greg holding me" She whispered again, looking at him with the flirtatious look which was always enough to drive him crazy, and clinging to him.
"I want to stay, Cuddy, but -"
"But, what?" She asked in a soft tone, looking into his eyes.
"I'm gonna screw this again" He said seriously not averting his eyes from hers.
"What? No," She replied. shaking her head as both her hands cupped his face and he closed his eyes at the feeling of her fingers on his skin.
"You can't know that and... I don't want to screw this again" as his hands reached hers.
"Me neither, House" She replied.
"I can read you, as much as you can read me" She said, her thumbs caressing his stubble again "I know what you're thinking about. You think I left once..." She bit her lip, staring at him as he stared back "... and I'm gonna leave you again. And..." She bit harder on her lip, looking away just for a second and then again into his eyes "...and you're scared on depending on someone who can let you down. You don't know if you really can trust the one you love. I..." She looked at the ceiling as her voice cracked, then looking at him again "I... I know who you are and I know who I am. We are two screwed-up people and this is not gonna change, House. But we fit each other. And we're two of the most stubborn people on Earth... I want you in my life, and I'm not screwing this again. I need you in my life. If you want me to repeat this every day I swear that I'm going to repeat it every single minute of my life and -"
"I need you"
His words stopped the torrent of hers and his hands cupped her face as he looked straight into her eyes, his mouth just an inch from hers.
"I need you" he repeated on her lips, not touching them but just letting his breath send electricity down her spine.
She smiled at the change of tone of those three words, looking at his lips and then at his eyes again. Love and lust and a hint of amusement mixed together in the piercing blue of his eyes.
"What?" She asked as soon as he repeated those words again, unable not to smile more at the look on his eyes.
"I'm beginning the 'every single minute' thing" He said with a half-teasing half-mischievous smile, tracing her lower lip with his tongue.
How can he have that power on her? Her pupils immediately dilated and she closed her eyes, inhaling deeply and preventing a moan from escaping her lips.
"What about changing those three words for the next hour?" He whispered in a mischievous tone as his mouth kissed the corner of her mouth then brushing her cheek and the back of her ear as his thumb traced a line down her neck, moving down the side of her breast until it stopped on her hip, drawing circles on the fabric of her jeans.
"Oh my God, House" She moaned, tilting her head back, as he sucked the skin behind her ear.
How could just the feeling of his stubble on her skin make her legs weak?
She felt him smiling against her skin and wrapping her waist then steadying her against the wall, finding her lips and looking again into her eyes.
"Actually those are four words" He whispered on her lips as his knee parted her legs slightly so he could press his body on hers "But I'm pretty sure I can reduce them just to one vowel" He added with a very naughty look as she smiled, running her tongue on her lip then trapping it between her teeth, holding his gaze until his tongue found hers making her close her eyes, just letting go in that whirlwind of sensations.
Her hands found the back of his shirt, pulling it out of his jeans and finding his bare skin. Her fingers so frantic that she almost ripped the last button from the fabric as she managed to unbutton his shirt, letting it hang on his shoulders, her mouth still glued on his as their tongues were entangled in the most passionate dance. She lifted one leg around his waist and he just couldn't resist her anymore, pressing her more against the wall and then cupping her butt and lifting her as she instinctively wrapped both her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck.
A worried 'House' escaped her lips as soon as her brain went back on 'on' enough to realize that he was carrying her with a not-aching damaged leg that still was a damaged leg anyway. But he didn't gave her time to protest as his tongue shorted her neurons again, scanning the room for the first available place and then resting her on the same table they had had dinner the previous evening.
He looked into her eyes studying her reaction for an instant. The last thing he wanted was that she thought he just wanted her for sex. But it just was inevitable. They were like straw which caught fire with the slightest spark. They both knew how good sex was between them. And in that right moment he just want to let go to passion and take her on that table like he had done so many times. Because she liked him that way, right? As much as she liked to be taken from behind against the kitchen counter when passion exploded all of a sudden before dinner were ready or as much as she liked when cuddles turned into a sweet and caring lovemaking after a very hard day at work... But... He thought he could tell her... and anyway he hadn't seen that coming that night. He had failed on reading her about what it counted most... So, now, what if it wasn't that kind of sex what she wanted right now...? What if he was really screwing up things again? What if - ?
She broke the running of his mind as soon as she unzipped his jeans, lowering them enough to wrap her hand around his erection.
"Stop doing that. Stop thinking." She whispered locking eyes with him, then sucking his lower lip "You're not on test" she gave him a naughty look, still staring at him as her hand began to stroke him.
He close his eyes, letting himself go to that sensation as her hand stroked him at the same pace his tongue was stroking hers.
"God, I want you" He groaned in her mouth as she smiled.
He missed her in the right moment her hand loosened her grip around him but his mind didn't have time to mourn that lost as soon as she quickly peeled her shirt off from her head, not bothering about unbuttoning it. His mouth found her neck as she moaned against his skin, her fingers digging into his shoulders flesh. She wrapped her legs more around his waist as his hand found the clasp of her bra, moaning again at the feeling of his erection pressing against the fabric of her jeans and instinctively rocking her hips against him.
Oh God... she just wanted to unbutton her jeans and lift her butt, lowering her jeans and panties in one move and spreading her own body over that wooden surface for him like she had done so many times in the past.
"House, we can't" She whispered instead as her breathing stopped again against the crock of his neck at the feeling of his tongue on her skin.
He looked up meeting her gaze.
"I'm getting mixing signals here" He whispered in turn as soon as he caught a mischievous glare in her eyes and her lips curled in a smile.
"Not here" She whispered smiling, this time finding his hand and intertwining her fingers with his.
She kissed him lightly on the lips, silently leading him to her bedroom and closing the door behind them, then looking at him as he scanned the room. He stared at the bedroom in front of him, taking of his shoes and the jeans still hanging on his hips, then taking off his shirt, tossing it on the floor.
He turned to her meeting her gaze, his eyes moving then from her eyes to her matched black lace bra and panties, and to the pair of jeans still in her hands, before she rested them on the armchair near the door. She approached him, resting her hand on his shoulder as he wrapped her waist, pulling her even closer. His hands moved on her back finding the clasp of her already unhooked bra and then on her shoulders, slipping his fingers under her bra straps and letting them slip along her arms.
"Don't look at me like that" She said in a whisper, caressing his cheek, rougher for his one-days-old stubble, and taking his chin, forcing his eyes to look up and meeting his gaze again.
"I know that..." she bit on her lip, avoiding his eyes for a moment "I'm not exactly the same I was the last time you were in my bedroom..."
"Yeah" he said nodding, looking down at her breast again and then looking at her with a teasing look, holding back a smile.
"Thank you" She said rolling her eyes and sighing "You always know how turning a woman on" She said, sighing again, taking a step back as he laughed, taking her hand and pulling her closer to him again.
His other hand found her neck and cupped her cheek as his lips found hers, making her let out a different kind of sigh this time. He lifted her in his arms before she could see that coming and kissed her again, then suddenly tossing her on the bed.
"Your definitely heavier than the last time" He said smiling with a teasing look, straddling her despite the glare she gave him "The twins are definitely heavier than the last time. Gregory has been a gift for you. These two a gift for myself." He pointed out as she hold back a smile biting on her lower lip, closing her eyes and then looking up at him again, running her tongue on her lips as he stretched her arms above her head.
She didn't stopped him, letting one of his hand hold her wrists, preventing her from moving as his mouth found her left nipple, his tongue whirling around it and his teeth grazing her skin.
"Oh my God" She moaned as her back arched under his body and her hands tried to get free for touch him "Oh my..."
She moaned louder at the sudden sensation that ran through her body as soon as he sucked her again, triggering a spasm deep inside her.
"Who was the one who didn't know how to turn a woman on?" He asked on her skin as even her head tilted back exposing to his mouth the soft skin of her neck.
He let go of the grip on her wrists and freed her legs long enough for peeling her panties off and take off his own, then letting his mouth find her skin again, this time tracing a trail of wet kisses from her cleavage to her navel and even down.
"Hous-"
Her voice choked on her throat as soon as his hands blocked her hips and his head disappeared between her legs sending her in a parallel dimension, her moans mixing with pleading and House and God's name until they turned just in sighs and gasps in an attempt of not screaming.
"Still with me?" He asked moving on top of her as she opened her eyes meeting his mischievous one.
She just nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and finding his mouth and tongue as her hips rocked under him, making him smile at her attempt of taking control despite the weight pressing her against the mattress. He kissed her lips, purposely teasing them as his erection stroke her relentlessly. Her mouth... her neck... her breast... he was everywhere, constantly keeping her on the edge of a cliff without letting her go further. Fuck! He was everywhere except where she wanted him. It was fulfilling and frustrating at the same time, and it just made her craving him more. She suddenly cupped his face with both hands, forcing him to look straight into her eyes.
"I want you, inside me" She said in a firm and aroused tone as a smile played on his lips "Now, House. Or I swear to God I'm really gonna find a pair of handcuffs and fuck you tied to this damned headboa-"
That word was replaced by a gasp as soon as he thrust into her, penetrating her in one move as her breath stopped in her throat. He didn't leave her time to adjust to his size, pulling out and then thrusting again into her, this time burying himself deep into her as her hips began to rock. He met her pace and she met his in a perfect fusion of bodies. He just wanted to get lost in her scent and in the sensation of her legs and arms wrapped around his own body. Her fingers digging into his skin with every thrust as he sent them both toward the edge. He just wanted to stop thinking. Stop thinking about how that bed should have been the right ending of that day... three years earlier, three hundred miles away from there, if he hadn't been... His mind clouded, overwhelmed by pleasure as soon as her folder throbbed taking him with her in that parallel dimension made just of sensations.
A chocked gasp escaped his lips at the weigh that suddenly compressed his chest.
What the heck -?
His still asleep brain tried to process that sudden information. Breathing distress. The sensation of a burden on his chest. Or he was having a heart attack or... he opened just one eye and a half smile immediately played on his lips. Or there really was a 30 lb burden sit on his chest. Straddling his bare chest, to be clear.
"Can you make chocolate milk?" Gregory asked with a big smile that lit even his eyes, skipping on House's chest as he gasped again.
Cuddy's arms reached for her baby, holding him in a hug and then placing him between the two of them.
"I'm sure he can, if you don't kill him first" She said smiling, kissing his soft cheek.
Gregory propped on his elbow looking at his mother again.
"Mom? Are you hot?" He innocently asked as his little fingers played with one of her messed curls.
Cuddy's eyes widened and glanced at House, realizing just then that they were so tired the night before that they had fallen asleep in each other arms without bothering to put some clothes on.
"Um... yes, sweetheart" She just whispered, blushing a little even if her son didn't notice it. Something that instead didn't go unnoticed to House as she instinctively wrapped herself more in the bed sheet.
"Yeah, she definitely is" he said, looking at him with an amused look and giving Cuddy a sly look and smiling at how Cuddy glared at him even if their son was too young to understand his puns.
"Ehm... what about going to awaken Rachel so you two can show Dad how to make that chocolate milk? I'm sure those dinosaurs cereals we bought will love having a chocolate milk bath"
Gregory looked at her with a piercing look.
"Dinosauws not love to take a bath" He said looking at her as he was stating something obvious.
"Sure they don't," House said from behind him, making him turn his head to meet his gaze "but I'm sure they drive crazy for rolling around in mud puddle, right?"
He nodded and his eyes lit as he climbed down the bed, then running toward the door.
Cuddy closed her eyes, running her tongue on her lips as he disappeared beyond the door and his steps echoed in the hallway.
An embarrassed smiled played on her lips as she turned her head meeting House's gaze.
"I think it's too late for the 'leaving before breakfast thing' you suggested last night, right?"
She smiled more, nodding, and clung to him, savouring the warm of his body as he kissed her hair.
"We're definitely not good in taking things slowly" she whispered, closing the distance between their lips in a sweet kiss.
Cuddy stretched her arm above House's head, trying to reach for the car keys safely hidden on the kitchen shelf, out of her 2 years old child's reach (like everything else since he learnt how to walk), glaring at him, still sitting on the chair, as he didn't shift not even of an inch, forcing her at an almost contortionist-style move which gave him a perfect view of her cleavage, her left breast practically bumping into his face.
She didn't see it coming but it didn't surprised her when his arm wrapped her waist making her lose her balance and falling heavily on his lap, this time meeting his smut smile.
She smiled in turn.
"I really have to go" she said, brushing her lips against his and inhaling his scent.
"I know"
"You sure you'll be fine?" She asked stroking his stubble.
"I'm a big boy, mom" he replied pushing his tongue into her mouth just enough to make her shiver despite the hand she suddenly rested on her chest to prevent him from deepening that kiss.
He smiled looking into her eyes and then glancing over her shoulder at the two pair of blue eyes looking intently at them from the door frame.
"The usual coffee shop. 1 pm" She whispered on his lips, lightly kissing him as she stood up.
He looked at the three of them as they headed toward the door.
Cuddy entered the coffee shop, looking around as her eyes scanned the room for him. She bit her lip and glanced at the clock on the wall. She was late for their lunch actually, but he was definitely later than her.
She gave an half smile at the woman who met her gaze and sat down on the nearest empty table, sighing as that same woman gave her the menu list.
She looked out of the window. No calls. No texts. And she bit her lip again. It was just a stupid lunch together but she couldn't help but feeling a bit upset anyway at the thought that he was probably fallen asleep on the couch, bored to death by the umpteenth TV series, unaware of the time that passed by. He needed his medical license back.
"Or you're avoiding me or... you left your mobile somewhere" a voice whispered in her ear as his stubble purposely tickled her cheek before his lips found her skin, making her start.
"What?" She looked for her mobile on her purse, realizing only then that she had left it in her white coat pocket, as a guilty smile appeared on her lips and she looked up at him.
That same smile froze as she met not one, but two pair of blue eyes. Her son's little arms wrapped around his shoulders, and his head nestled in the crook of his neck.
"What's happened?"
Her hand immediately reached for Gregory's forehead lightly touching the dark red-purple bump with the tip of her fingers as he closed his eyes and turned his head hiding his face against his father's shoulder.
"It's just a bump, Cuddy" He said looking at her and at her hand which caressed Gregory's back "He slipped and bumped into the corner of a table"
She just nodded, reaching for the little boy still in House's arms as he passed him to her.
He looked at her as she sat down with Gregory in her lap and looked at his forehead again, then inspecting his head and eyes, and bit his lip, smiling.
"His pupils are normal. No headache. No sleepiness. And I already checked his scalp" He said, meeting her eyes as a half smile played on her lips too "Nothing that a chocolate muffin can't fix, right?" He said, this time looking at Gregory as he smiled back and nodded.
She bit her lip again, nodding in turn and running a hand in her son's hair, then kissing his soft cheek.
"He has a rash" She said, looking up at House again as he stared back at her with a mischievous gaze, running his tongue on his lips.
"You didn't bother about having that same rash last night" he replied as his hand moved on his chin stroking his own stubble "But if I well remember it wasn't on your cheek" He added, still looking straight into her eyes as she blushed and smiled, biting on her lip again.
"Please, stop!" Words mixing with laugher.
"I'm not stopping 'till you're gonna confessing you're the Scallywag who ate the slice of cake your mom saved for me" He said, laughing in turn as his fingers still tickled the little body which writhed trying to escape his fingers.
"I'm innocent" She cried, her words coming laboured between the laugher that filled the room "Please" she laughed again "Dad, please"
His fingers slowed down, letting her catch her breathing as her smiling face looked up at him.
It was still a weird feeling. He had been just House for a lifetime, being 'dad' was still something he wasn't used to. But for sure he wasn't used at all to hear that word coming from that voice. He knew that was going to come sooner or later. He just didn't think it was already 'later'.
She just looked into his eyes and smiled brightly, then standing up and running toward the door, stopping as soon as her hand reached the door jamb and turning to look at him with a teasing look.
"House," she said, locking eyes with him "It was the most delicious slice of cake" She said, smirking and then quickly disappearing beyond the door leaving him with a smile on his lips.
She woke up first like every morning, panicky turning her head to look at the clock on the nightstand, before realizing it was still dark and she was allowed to stay in bed for at least another few hours enjoying the warmth of the arm somehow wrapped around her neck.
Once again not her boyfriend's one.
She smiled and just stayed still there, motionless. It wasn't the most comfortable position actually, but that one was absolutely the most amazing feeling. Gregory was curled up against his father's body, handling to keep at the same time one of his arm around her neck, almost checking she couldn't go away.
She wasn't obviously. Nor his father. Not anymore. And she let herself go to sleep again.
Her eyes opened suddenly what seemed like hours later and she glanced at the alarm clock again. The darkness had given way to the first light of dawn but she was allowed to at least another half an hour of sleep before putting herself in her morning routine. She turned toward Gregory, instinctively caressing the arm stretched toward her, but suddenly propped on her elbow as soon as she realized that House wasn't there anymore and that his bed side was filled only by their spread three-year boy.
She looked around as she sat up. His clothes were exactly where he had left them the night before, and the house seemed silent. Nothing was missing... except him and... his pillow. She stood up, turning around the bed and smiling at the view of the man somehow asleep on the carpet. She bend over, kneeling beside him and caressing his arm as she moved under the wool blanket that barely covered his feet.
"What happened?" She asked in a whisper.
"Um..."
He didn't opened his eyes, just wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him.
"The little one up there pushed me down the bed" he said as his hand found the skin under her top tank despite the sleepy tone of his voice "But since I'm here and you're here..." His hand cupped her buttock, letting her no doubt about how he was suggesting to fill the incoming half an hour. Her mouth found his and his tongue hers, erasing even the last doubt.
"Hold that thought..." She whispered leaving his lips.
His hand stopped in the middle of her back and their eyes met at the deja vu that those words triggered.
"Really?" He asked with a serious look.
"No," She answer biting her lower lip holding back a half smile "let's take a shower" She whispered instead, brushing her lips with his and resting her forehead on his, staring into his eyes.
He smiled in turn, moving a lock behind her ear and stroking her cheek with his thumb.
"A shower is not what I want to take now" He mischievously said cupping her butt with his free hand, squeezing her buttock.
Her smile grew wider as they eyes locked.
"Trust me" She replied with a smut look biting his lower lip and teasing it with her tongue.
"I trust you" He answered in a whisper, still looking into the blue of her eyes, finding her tongue in a deep kiss.