S H A T T E R
Spoiler Warning: This drabble deals with chapter 51 of the Nabari no Ou manga. If you haven't read that far and don't want to
be spoiled for the events of the manga, there is a lovely little 'x' that can be utilized in order to escape this spoiler-ridden page.
I don't know who you are, and it's all because of me. I feel like I remember you; bits and pieces and feelings—no memories, just a warm spot next to me that is now cold where it feels like you used to sit, and a place in my mind that is now resoundingly empty that you used to fill completely. I don't even know who you are, but I know that you were something I needed.
A mirror image of myself who pulled my frozen emotions out of me and damnably thawed my heart and made me feel again. And this feeling I have inside that it's all because of you can't be wrong.
I don't know a thing about you.
How you talked.
How tall you were.
What your name was. Your hair color, your eye color, why you were the one who made something inside of me crack and fall away to reveal the heart I was guarding with everything inside of me.
All I know is that you're gone now, and it's all because of me, and you were important to me. More important, perhaps, than my own life.
And it makes me think why? Why, if those things were true, are you gone now?
No matter how much I wonder, no answers rise from the hollow blankness inside of me where you once were.
Only an agonizing pang of where are you now and what have I done? tearing through me and leaving gaping wounds when the questions find no answers.
You were everything. I made you a reason to live and feel, and now that you're gone, it's all your fault that it hurts so much. Why did you have to make me feel? It's all my fault that you're gone.
Whoever you are,
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
And the tears roll down without me knowing or caring or consenting to their acid passage as my soul shatters from the pull of the empty blackness that you've gone away from.
I'm sorry. I killed you and in the process I killed us both. This isn't how it was supposed to be, was it?
Hands wrap tightly—frantically—around me, but they're not yours.
Where are you now? My lungs are out of breath and my heart is loathe to beat and it hurts hurts hurts so much just to think about you.
It hurts.
Where are you?
I need you.
"I'm so sorry..."
MY FIRST STORY in the Nabari no Ou fandom on FF! I wrote this a while back, but... yeah. I fail that way. Not to mention that it was well before I even created
this account. Having just read chapter 51, I was still in shock from its implications and that absolutely heart-rending end, so I immersed myself in fic in order to rid myself
of some of the depression that crawled out of the chapter and attached itself to me. If we got more of Miharu's thoughts, I imagine he might be thinking something like this.
Comments, crit, flames, rainbows, marshmallows, chocolate, and furry pickles are accepted with gratefulness so huge that it is impossible to express in words.