Hi I'm back, and I'm trying to rewrite this story so it's not as bad as it used to be. Please enjoy and review.
This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless and just shy of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery.
A small island sat in the middle of the ocean. A huge mountain was directly in the center. Far out in front of it were two ancient lighthouses, shaped like Vikings and carved out of stone. Both had huge fires burning in their mouths. A small city made in levels sat on the beach with a large port. Two guards were patrolling the front of a warehouse right on the docks.
The city has been here for over seven generations, but all the buildings are new, down to the last board. It is, in one word, sturdy. We have hunting, fishing, and a charming view of the sunset and less . . . savory activities when it goes down.
"Can you help me? I'm a little lost." The two guards jumped. A teenager walked up to them, hands in his pockets.
"What're you doin' out here kid?" The first asked. Like most Berkians, he looked like a bear, as did the other guard. They wore a ramshackle uniform of a green coat that went to just above their knees, dark pants, brown boots, brown shirt and a plain brown ball cap.
My name is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. It's not the worst name around here.
"I said I'm lost." He answered. An arrow sprouted from the second guard's chest. Before the first could move, the teen took a step forward, grabbed his shoulder and stabbed him in the gut. The guard crumpled to his knees, dead.
And that's Connor Kenway.
"Not bad." A much broader teen appeared out of the shadows, a wooden bow in hand. He had a leather quiver of arrows strapped to his back and a tomahawk along with a .38 revolver tucked into his belt. He wore a camouflage hoodie, grey fingerless gloves and brown cargo pants. A small braid came from under his hood.
The thing is; I occasionally take part in those unsavory activities.
The teen that came up to the guards was shorter than him, almost eye level. He wore a fur vest that had a hood sewed onto it. He had a green long-sleeved shirt under it, as well as brown pants and work boots. A bowie knife and a nine-millimeter pistol hung from his belt. Both wore bracers on their forearms.
"Let's pop the door open." Connor said and dropped to one knee to pick the lock. Hiccup nodded and turned around to make sure that no one came up on them. Neither noticed the dark silhouette flying over them. They moved quietly through the warehouse taking care of the few guards without a fight. In the back they found a crate with the word FRAGILE burnt into it.
"Is that it?" Hiccup asked.
"Probably." Connor walked over to the crate and examined the lock.
"Can I pick this one?"
"No." In one smooth motion, Connor raised his fist and punched the lock off.
"Why couldn't I do it?" Hiccup put his hands on his hips and whined without shame. Connor threw a glance over his shoulder and sighed.
"You realize you look like an angry toddler when you do that right?" Hiccup shrugged. Connor sighed again and then used the blade of his tomahawk to pry open the container. When the top came off there was nothing but straw. Connor frowned and dug around in it to find a metal container about the size of a lunch box. The two boys grinned.
"Mission accomplished!" Hiccup said happily and did a small victory dance. Connor chuckled.
"Come on; let's get to the homestead to open it." They began to trek uphill heading toward the outskirts of the city.
But honest to God, what might be the worst part of this whole thing are the pests.
Swoosh!
Some places get mice or mosquitoes.
Hiccup paused, "did you hear that?" He asked. Connor frowned.
"Hear what?"
We get…
"DRAGONS!" Somewhere in the lower levels there was a shout from the loudspeaker. In the blink of an eye, the city came alive. People poured out of buildings, strapping armor on over pajamas, most wiping sleep from their eyes.
Most people would leave, not us. We're the great soldiers of Berk, we have . . . stubbornness issues.
A round fat dragon flew the air with a man slamming the butt of his gun into the thing's face, before getting thrown to the ground.
Correction, we don't back down for shit.
As the two ran down the street there were numerous shouts directed their way.
"Wot are ya doin' out 'ere?"
"Get back inside!" The pair weaved through the people, passing a mountain of a man calmly picking his ear. They were about to cross a road, except Hiccup was waylaid. A huge man snatched him up and dangled him in the air. His huge red beard covered most of his chest, and he had an enormous flak jacket that looked like armor plating on under it, with large bracers on his wrists, military fatigue pants and heavy brown boots. A massive revolver hung from a belt that was as wide as Hiccup's head while the pistol grip of a shot gun peeked over his shoulder. Deep green eyes glared at Hiccup from under a steal-plated hat with gold trim that could stop a thirty aught-six round.
"What is he doing outside? Jamming his face in Hiccup's he thundered"get inside boy!"
That's Commander Stoick. Leader of everything that has to do with everything here. They say that when he was 8 he blew a dragon's head off its shoulders. Do I believe it?
Stoick picked up a wheelbarrow and launched it one-handed at a dragon resembling a chicken, trying to make off with a sheep.
I sure as hell do.
"What have we got?" he asked a soldier hiding behind a barricade
"Gronkles, Nadders, Zipplebacks. Oh! And Steve saw a Monstrous Nightmare." Stoick was calmly looking up into the sky when a fire ball hit not twenty feet from them. Stoick didn't move a muscle except to absent mindedly flick an ember off his shoulder while the solider ducked.
"Any Night Furies?" the larger man rumbled.
"None so far."
"Good."
A pair of huge automatic spotlights lit up as Hiccup and Connor passed them, revealing dozens of dragons flying through the air. They dove into a store with the words Gobber's Guns and Body Shoppe painted on the large sign in front of it. Inside a man almost as big as Stoick was calmly tightening the bolts on a Humvee's tire. He had a huge blond mustache hanging to his chest with a matching uni-brow, a serious case of cauliflower ear and a large pebble in his mouth to replace several teeth he lost in a barfight. He wore a brown vest, a yellow grubby shirt and ripped up tan pants. He waved the ratchet that was replaced his left hand and stood on a peg leg. He wore the same hat slash that Stoick did, along with a row of short spikes down the middle like a mohawk.
"Ha! Nice of ya ta join the party! I thought ya had ta get him away from a dragon Connor!" Hiccup shrugged off his own vest and pulled an apron on before replacing a grenade launcher on the rack.
"Who me? Oh come on I am way too muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all-l-l this." Hiccup motioned to himself, flexing barely there muscles.
"Weel they toothpicks don' they?" The big man chucked. With a grunt Connor heaved a large crate full of magazines onto the table.
"Toothpicks?" Connor asked "you mean floss."
The meat head with an attitude and interchangeable is Gobber. I've worked for him since I was little, well… little-er. Connor works here whenever training doesn't stop him.
"We move to the lower defenses. We'll counter attack with the heavy guns." Stoick roared to his men as they charged down a ramp. Above them a building exploded.
See? Old place plus dragon attacks equals lots and lots of remodeling.
"FIRE!" Some old sergeant yelled out in front of Gobber's store slash personal armory. Not twenty seconds later a bright red fire truck with a 50 cal. machine gun stuck to the roof streaked by and skidded to a halt and several teens jumped out.
A huge, beefy, teen wearing a brown shirt that hung to his knees but left his arms free with green pants and the brown boots that were the norm, over his tiny legs and feet. His hatmet was surprisingly small for his head.
That's Fishlegs. He's a nice enough guy, just refers to everything in rpg stats.
A powerfully built teen thundered behind Fishlegs with muscles as big as his head. He wore a blue Kevlar vest with even darker blue pants and a yellow v neck shirt that screamed I'm a jerk! A large silver belt buckle kept his pants up. A row of studs went through the middle of his hatmet like Gobber's spikes.
Snotlout, my . . . cousin.
A boy and a girl were fighting over a hose trying to use it first.
The twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut. Also the local psychos. Don't let them corner you. Severe wedgies are certain to follow. And then there's Aveline, Connor's girlfriend. Also an assassin.
Aveline, a black girl with three braids that came out from under her honest to god normal hat, jumped on top of the truck and let loose with the 50 cal, she wore a dark shirt with the same bracers that Connor and Hiccup wore.
But her…
A blonde girl emptied out a bucket into the flames, only to have a large fireball land in the exact same spot. She wore a blue shirt with a Kevlar vest along with strangely tight camouflage cargo pants which were tucked into her boots. Instead of a hatmet, she wore a leather circlet that kept most of her hair out of her face with the exception of her bangs and a large braid went down her back.
"Astrid . . ." the name came out as a breathy sigh. He watched the teens charge past to start on another building. Their job is so much cooler than mine. Well, at least the legal one.
"No ya don!" He had started climbing out after them, only to be picked up and hauled back in the building. Hiccup found himself dangling from a pair of channel locks that were replacing Gobber's hand at the moment.
"Oh come on, let me out please. I need to make my mark!"
"Oh, you've made plenty o' marks" Gobber rumbled before setting him down, and jabbing him in the chest with the channel locks, "all in tha wrong places."
"Please? Just two minutes, I'll kill a dragon, my life will get infinitely better, I might even get a date!"
"You can't lift a rocket launcher, and I know you can't shoot one, hell, you can't even though one of these!" Gobber waved a small bola around, only to have it snatched out of his hand and thrown at another short, fat dragon by a soldier outside.
"Okay, but this will throw it for me." Hiccup patted a large cannon like thing in the back of the shop, only to have it go off and smack a soldier out the window in the face, and grazing the back of Connor's head.
"Holy shit!" Connor snapped his head up and glared at the soulless ginger that tried to kill him. "Dude! Watch it!"
"Ya see? This right here is exactly what Ah'm talkin' about!" Gobber gestured furiously at the launcher.
"That was a minor calibration issue!" Hiccup stuttered, trying to defend his precious invention.
"No," Gobber made a final gesture, "if you're going ta get out there," he pointed at the shop window "then you need ta stop all . . . this" he pointed at his assistant. Said assistant was not amused.
"You just pointed to all of me." He muttered, deflating slightly. The hulking mechanic nodded furiously.
"Tha's it! Stop bein' all o' you!" Gobber rumbled. With a grunt, Hiccup drew himself up and rolled his shoulders back.
"You sir, are playing a dangerous game!" Hiccup threatened for all he was worth, while Gobber was just amused, "keeping this much . . . raw . . . manliness contained! There will be consequences!" His voice rose as he spoke. Gobber remained unaffected.
"Ah'll take mah chances. Bazooka. Repair. Now." Tossing said weapon into the boy's arms, Gobber walked off to help Connor with putting ammo crates on the window counter.
One day, I'll get out there. Because killing a dragon is everything around here. A Nadder head will at least get me noticed.
Three brightly colored dragons vaguely resembling chickens destroyed a looking for food. Their long tails whirled in the air and they snapped their beaked mouths in frustration.
Gronkles are tough. Takin' down one of those would definitely get me a girlfriend.
A pair of short, stubby, brown-colored dragons was stealing racks of fish; their wings turning into blurs on their backs as they flew away.
A Zippleback . . . exotic, two heads, but twice the status.
A large, two headed dragon shot gas into a house with one head while the other waited for it to fill before launching a large ball of sparks inside, setting it alight.
"They've found the sheep!" A soldier cried as Stoick tossed his revolver onto the platform of a gun battery.
"Concentrate fire on tha lower banks!" Stoick roared a response as he single handedly turned the battery for aiming.
"Hurry up!" One of the soldiers yelled before firing and taking out Nadder trying to steal a flock of sheep.
And then . . . there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the bravest . . . or the dumbest go after one of those.
A large shadow passed over Stoick making, him pause.
They have a nasty habit of setting themselves on fire.
Stoick looked over the edge of the tower, were a very large and burning muzzle suddenly appeared and snapped at him.
"Reload!" The huge man bellowed, "I'll take care of this," before pistol whipping the dragon. The dragon snapped at him again only to be cleanly avoided by the man, when a shriek went through the air making them both pause.
But the best trophy out there is the dragon no one has ever seen.
In near unison, cries of "Night Fury!" were going through the streets with dragons and soldiers alike diving for cover. A large purple fireball slammed into the battery that Stoick was helping at.
"JUMP!" The commander bellowed. Stoick threw himself into the water and the battery soldiers followed him, barely avoiding the explosion from the firebolt.
That thing doesn't steal food, never shows itself, and NEVER misses.
A second fireball hit the tower, and the structure collapsed on itself.
NO ONE has ever killed a Night Fury. So I'm gonna be the first.
"Man the fort, lads. They need me out there!" Gobber thundered as he jammed a grenade launcher into place for his hand and shrugged on a bandolier of shells. He waddled to the door and turned to Hiccup "Stay. Put. There." With a frown, he continued "you know wot Ah mean." Then he looked at Connor, "watch 'im." And with that, he plunged head-first into the fray with a roar.
"Now?" Connor asked.
"Now."
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
"Where the hell are you going lads?" Sven, a lieutenant, rumbled as the teens bounded away from the store.
"Don't worry guys! We'll be right back!" Hiccup yelled over his shoulder as he pushed his launcher-cannon-thing along like a wheelbarrow, while Connor held an M4 in a tight grip, more worried about being attacked by Templars than dragons. Finally, they got to a hill near an old tower, and waited. Connor could hear Hiccup asking for something to shoot at in a whisper. On closer inspection he could see that the cannon-thing had one metal tube with two crossbow looking things on either side of the metal tube. These had strong ropes that could be pulled back with a handle so it could be fired. The shriek of a Night Fury went right through the air and the tower exploded in purple flames. Hiccup whipped the launcher around and launched off a wild shot.
"Holy shit!" Hiccup pointed like a crazy person "I hit it!" With a shriek, something that looked vaguely dragon shaped fell from the sky.
"Yeah, that's great. Now let's go!" Connor attempted to hurry along the process of getting back to the shop while Hiccup was almost having a nerdgasm.
"Did anyone else see that?" The skinny teen yelled.
CRUNCH
They both turned around to find a Monstrous Nightmare standing on the remains of Hiccup's launcher.
"He did." Hiccup stated the obvious
"RUNNNNNNN!" Connor stated the even more obvious.
On the other side of the island, Stoick was finishing up restraining three Nadders when he heard screaming. He glanced over his shoulder and sighed.
"Do NOT let them escape!"
"Right!"
Hiccup and Connor ran like lunatics dodging fireballs. As one they both dived for cover, Connor behind a barrier, Hiccup behind a spotlight. A huge swathe of flames went over the teens cover. As Hiccup peeked around the light, he did not see the dragon's head come around the other side of the light. Said dragon was tackled by four hundred pounds going eighty miles an hour. The dragon attempted to douse the soldier in flames, but only succeeding at spewing out a small stream of flame. Stoick snarled.
"You're all out." The leader of Berk drew his shotgun from his back and fired it one-handed at the dragon's face. The massive eight gauge slug ricocheted of the extraordinarily thick scales of the dragon's forehead. He then flipped the shotgun end over end, took the barrel, and hit the dragon right in the face with it. Stoick beat the dragon, ending with one massive kick to the face, until it flew away. With a triumphant huff he turned and watched as the supports of the spotlight gave out and revealed Hiccup in all of his unfortunate glory. Both of the red-heads watched as the huge light rolled down the island and exploded, setting loose the three Nadders and giving them a nice big bag of sheep to take home.
There's one more thing you need to know.
"Sorry dad." Stoick did not react, at all. The whole city watched as the dragons flew away, all noticing the bag of sheep. "Okay, but I hit a Night Fury." Without answering Stoick started to haul his son away. "It's like the last few times dad!" Hiccup protested "you guys were busy and I had a good shot! It went down just past Raven Point we could get a search out there-"
"STOP! Just stop." Stoick sighed. Why was his son so goddamn different? If only Val was still here . . . he squashed that line of thought, no use for dwelling on the past. "Every time you step outside disaster falls! Can you not see I have bigger problems? Winter is almost here and I have a whole damn city to feed!"
"Well, between you and me, this place could use a little less feeding don't ya think?" This comment made a few of the more, shall we say, chunky members pat their huge stomachs.
"This is not a joke Hiccup! Why the hell can't you follow the simplest orders?"
"I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just kill it ya know?" Stoick sighed and rubbed his forehead with fingers the size of bratwursts.
"You're many things son. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house." Stoick looked at Gobber "Make sure he gets there. I have his mess to clean up." With a head slap from the mechanic the two made their way to Hiccup's house on the north side of the city. Connor started to follow but got yelled at instead. "You! Quit encouraging my son to do this shit!" Connor turned and found Stoick's fiery glare meant just for him.
"These things are his whole idea sir; I just go along with them." The commander blinked, clearly not expecting the answer he got.
"Then talk him out of it!" Connor gave a short bark of laughter.
"HA! Good luck!" And he ran down the street after Hiccup and his mentor.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who calls their cousin a dipshit? Astrid wondered as she walked to her house. That was one of the terms Snotlout had called Hiccup as he had walked away. That's not counting the digs that Ruff and Tuff said. The twins were essentially Snotlout's goons that held his victims down while Snotlout beat the bejesus out of them. But why Hiccup?
"You should talk to Hiccup." Astrid stiffened and turned as Altair stepped out of the shadows.
"What are you talking about?" She asked. The corners of his mouth twitched faintly and he continued.
"I saw the look you gave him as he walked away with Gobber."
"You weren't even there."
"I see, hear, and know everything that happens on this island." Astrid looked confused, but realized something.
"Not without help." He shrugged
"Aveline told me." She blinked.
"What?"
"Aveline told me." He said it much slower that time, like he was speaking to a child. Astrid frowned.
"What does she care about Hiccup?" A flash of irritation went across Altair's face.
"She is one his closest friends, as am I." Altair glared, which was something that had made even Commander Stoick think twice about crossing him. "He also has a crush on you the size of the whole damn island. If you're going break the poor bastard's heart, make sure to let him down easy and that Aveline doesn't hear you." And with that, he vanished.
Tadaaaa! Let me know what you want next.