Kill Yourself, Virgin F**
AN: This is dedicated to a special reviewer who left this as a guest review. Please, please, please review and give me more ideas for new stories. And be brave enough to use an actual name. Troll the F*** out of this one, lol. P.S. I love you.
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The first thing Neji noticed was the smell. It was slightly vomitous, with a bit of garbage in the mix. Neji looked up to see a middle aged, paunchy man across the street. He had a ring of hair left on his sunburned head, and he wore a t-shirt that had presumably been white at some point, but was now a dingy, very light gray with brown stains splattered across it. Neji assumed that the stains were the result of the bottle of Popov vodka he was currently swilling.
Thankfully the wind changed and the smell went with it, but the balding joke of a human being staggered across the street.
Neji, Kiba, and Hinata watched as he approached them. "Stop there," Neji said. "What do you want?"
"Kill yourself, virgin f**," the drunk yelled, before lurching off, laughing loudly at himself.
"Did…did that just happen?" Neji asked.
"I think it did," Kiba said. "Weird. I don't think we can beat him up though. He looks like the gentlest punch would either kill him or send him home crying to his mother."
Hinata wrung her hands together nervously. "You shouldn't be so mean to him. I know that guy, and he's had a bad life. His mother is one of the whores that Jiraiya-sama likes. I do some shifts in the hospital, and I had to treat her for prolapsed and a few different STDs."
"If I was him I'd keep my mouth shut," Kiba said. "People who live in sewers shouldn't fling shit."
"Wait, isn't that the same guy whose dad is in jail because, he…you know…did that thing with the stray dog?"
"Yeah," Hinata said. "Some people just deserve our pity."
"Yeah," Neji said, "but he should leave my boyfriend out of it."