Title: Something Good
Author: Jo
Part: 1/1
Pairing: Jay and Ruth

She never knew that life could be like this, well okay she had but just not her life. This didn't happen to her it happened to other people, lucky people, deserving people. Happy she was happy. She paused oddly confused for a moment at thought, the feeling it produced within her was slightly alien. Although she had felt it before, she recognised it from a time long ago, a time that she had believed she herself had destroyed forever.

She heard a light snore and looked down at the sleeping boy beside her. Yes boy was right, she realised within about five minutes of meeting him that he was yet to grow out of his childish nature that he loved to play the joker and the fool. At the time she had thought him annoying and immature. Now she wouldn't change him for the world. She laughed softly to herself imaging what it would be like to approach her former self and say.

" you see that guy

"What the Irritating moron?"

"Thats the one. He's the best thing that's ever going to happen to you and you are going to fall so in love with him."

Of course she would be met with the patented Ruth Winter's frosty are you insane glare before her former self would make a hasty retreat away from the obviously unstable woman in front of her. and to some degree she would be right she thought with a shrug but maybe now in a good way.

She knew everything she had been through had made her stronger that she would rather be her now even after everything than go back that hard, lost, scared human being, the frozen cold hearted bitch. What was it that Jay said to her once:

"Defrost Dr Winters, I know you can"

Well he had been right but it had always been him that she melted for. He saw right though her act. No matter how hard she pushed he pushed back harder. He got under her skin very soon after they met and she had never been able to shift him. Now she didn't want to, she still didn't know what this was, but she knew what she wanted it to be. She wanted to be with Jay and to love him for as long as she could, whether that was a day or the rest of their lives after everything she had done was really up to Jay. She just hoped he felt the same.

She would always have regrets about her past decisions, one in particular that she would rather not think about, that she tried to never think about. Deep down she knew it was for the best that neither of them had been ready. She had feared Jay would end up hating her for trapping him. And her him for waylaying a career that at the time seemed so important. Being a doctor still meant a lot to her, just not as much as other things now did. Given a choice back then it would have been career every time, a choice that she made time and time again at the expense of herself and to her shame Jay. It still am amazed her every day that he still spoke to her let alone anything else. But no matter what she did to him he never seemed to be able to walk away. He seemed to understand her more than she did herself.

Of course she liked to believe it was the same for him. That she understood the real him. She saw through the joker and the fool to the heart and soul underneath. She understood that Jay sometimes hid from the world as much as she did, just in a different way. The jokes kept people at arm's length as much as her cold heartiness could. Stopped everything from getting serious from anyone noticing the trouble going on deep down in his big brown eyes. She would always wish she could have been with him through the cancer, but she had had her own issues to deal with and as always he had protected her from the pain, no matter the cost to himself. They still hadn't really talked about it yet, but they would he just needed time and when he was ready she would be there.

"Morning Babe"

She was brought out of herself by the man in question

"Hey I thought it was suppose to be me that liked watching you sleep." He said with a smile Ruth looked away for a moment uncomfortable at being caught.

"To be honest I'm surprised you're still here you do have a history of doing a runner the morning after" he said trying and failing suppress a grin. She narrowed her eyes at him but leaned forward gently pressing a kiss his lips.

"Who says I wasn't thinking about it." She replied ducking her head away again with an evil smile.

""Arh straight to the heart" He replied with mock hurt clutching his chest.

Ruth grew serious for a moment

"You know Jay, that there is no where I'd rather be right now"

"What not even Surgery" Jay mocked with surprise

"No, the only place I want to be is here with you, it's the only place I've ever really wanted to be." Ruth said quietly

Jay swallowed overcome by her honesty for a moment

"I wouldn't be anywhere else either"

He leaned over the love he felt for her showing though his eyes and gently kissed her, which quickly grew out of control.

Moments later:

"Oh my god is that the time, we need to get going, we going to be late" he said breaking the kiss and jumping out of bed much to Ruth's disappointment. He ran towards the bathroom. Stopping in his tracks as he realised she hadn't moved.

"Err, Ruth I know I may have scrambled your brains with my prowess but you need to get moving"

"Dream on buddy you ain't that good, my shift doesn't start for another three hours" she awswered smugly

"That is so not fair" he said stalking back towards the bed, diving towards her kissing and tickling her for dear life. They were lost in each other for several moments neither really wanting to let the other one go. In the end Ruth sensible side kicked in.

"Jay" she said smiling

"Hmmm" he said busy kissing her neck.

She gently pushed him away

"There will be time for that later"

"Yes" he agreed nodding and with a smile "We have the rest of our lives"

She didn't answer just held his gaze and gave him one final kiss on the lips.

"Now shower, or Tess will kill you for being late"

He grinned cheeky at her heading towards the bathroom whistling.

Ruth leaned back against the head board smiling. Life was good. But did she really deserve to be this happy? After everything? She dismissed the thought as soon as it came. It was not the time for that. She knew she was still a work in progress, that they were still a work in progress. Happiness to her was still an alien concept. But somehow Jay, as he had always done, made her feel like that could change.

"Hey Babe" Jay called " I know you don't have to be up for a couple of hours, but are you sure you don't want to join me in the shower?"

Yeah happiness maybe not so alien after all she thought jumping out of bed, today was the start of something good.