Edward's
P.O.V.:
I was in my car. I took deep breaths. This is it, I told myself. For the last two hours I had been in my silver Volvo by the road about 2 minutes away from Bella's house debating if really should go through with this or not. I felt amazingly selfish. But I knew what I wanted. I wanted Bella. I wanted my Bella back. I felt regret for leaving her even though it was for her safety. I knew I should not be here. Just let her live, I kept telling myself. But it was not working.
For the last months I'd been in misery. I missed her so much it was unexplainable. My sun had finally come and now it had been taken away from me. Now I was scared from it. My eyes were blinded and I needed my sun back. I needed her now.
But I knew that she might not want me back. I hoped against hope that she would. I hoped she would forgive me and take me back like how I'd been dreaming ever since the day after I left her all those months ago. I gave out a small sigh and clenched my fists. I knew I was so selfish. I knew I should not be doing this. We'd been through this a thousand times this night already. But also knew I would not be able to go much longer without my love.
I slowly opened my car door and stepped outside. This is it, I told myself. I locked the car by clicking on the little button on my key chain that held all my keys. I put the keys in my back pocket. I adjusted my dark blue jacket and fixed my jeans. After I was ready, I started to walk.
I walked slowly toward her house. My shoes slipped and moved along the wet roads. I kept myself upright. I looked at the trees as I drew nearer to the place of my desire. I realized then that I had missed this rain invested state more than I thought I would. I missed the constant rain that came more common than sun. I missed the smell of the evergreens as I got in the silver car every morning. I missed everything.
I gave a small gasp as the house came into sight. My walking speed up and I was at the grass edge in no time. It looked just as it did all those months ago. The rusty old truck was still in the driveway as always. Charlie's police car was in its usual spot. I looked up at her window. She was up there. I felt it.
But I also smelled her. She smelled so good. I wanted her now and so bad. But, like usual, I pushed the temptation back in my head and focused on how much I wanted her to be alive. I pictured the same thing I always did. I pictured Bella in my arms in a white wedding dress looking at me with a happy smile. I actually smiled for the first time in weeks.
The light was out in her bedroom as it usually was at this time of night. It was probably two in the morning here in Washington. I could hear her steady breathing as I neared the jump to her window. In and out, the breathing went. In and out went the air. I focused on that as I sprang to her window.
It was easy to open, as usual and I stepped inside slowly and stopped in my tracks at what I saw. Bella was there. I stared at her. Her hair was moved around like she'd been attacked by a hair dyer and her eyes were closed as she slept peacefully in her bed.
I moved to her side and decided I needed to do this now. If I did not, I'd freak out and run off again. Then I'd regret it and come back. And the cycle would start all over again. I moved my pale hands along her long soft hair that was sprawled across the bedding and she mumbled in her sleep. I was so interested in her hair, I did not hear what she said like I usually did. I bit my lip and touched her face.
"Bella?" I whispered gently, trying not to scare her.
She slowly opened her eyes and I almost tried to bolt away. But I stood my ground and gave her a small crooked smile and looked into her deep brown eyes.
"Huh?"
I almost gasped as I heard her voice. I'd been thinking about it for months and here it was. Right in front of me. Here she was.
"It's me, Bella." I whispered to her.
She stared at me for a moment in shock, and then shook her head. "No. No, you're not. Go away."
"No, Bella. It really is me." I told her forcefully and put my right hand on hers.
"No!" She almost yelled and yanked her hand out of my grasp.
I winced as I heard Charlie getting up from his bed downstairs and moved slowly away from her. Here comes Charlie, I talked to myself as I hid in the darkness of her closet. Bella had gotten up and turned on the lights in her room and Charlie was already by the door. Charlie had his gun with him. I knew that. I heard it as he took it off his gun rack a few seconds before. Oh, great.
"Bella? Are you okay?" I heard Charlie's voice from behind the door.
Bella shook her head and opened the door for him. "No, I'm not."
"What's wrong, Bells?" Charlie said as he was pulled through the door.
Bella sighed and looked at her father with tired eyes. "A bad dream, that's all."
Charlie bit his lip in frustration and he shook his head sadly. Oh, no. I thought she was over the nightmares by now. I winced to myself as I heard Charlie's saddened thoughts. But they kept coming. Wasn't Jake helping her on that? I wondered who Jake was but pushed the thought aside as Bella had starting talking again.
"It's nothing, Dad. I just overreacted. Sorry for making you come back in here. Go to bed."
"You sure?" His voice was doubtful.
Bella hesitated only a second before she shook her head. "Dad, I'm fine. Go to bed."
Charlie sighed and moved his hand to her face to give her a kiss on the forehead before leaving. He moved his hands in her hair before getting up to go.
"'Night, Bells."
"'Night, Dad."
Charlie gave her one more doubtful look as he closed the door slowly. Poor Bella. I really thought she was done with these.
I moved slowly over to her bed with concerned eyes. She noticed me and stared. "Who are you?"
I was surprised. Surely she had recognized me, right? I winced as I thought of how it would feel if she did not. I shook the thought away and stared into her eyes again.
"I'm Edward and you're Bella." I said softly.
She took a deep breath, "No, you're not. Leave me alone please."
I was starting to get doubtful of my idea as she got up from her bed and stood by the door, facing me. Her hair looked amazing in the light of the streetlights from the outside. Charlie had turned out the light as he left us. Then I narrowed my eyes as I focused on the task at hand.
"Bella, no." I moved to her side quickly in desperation. "It's me."
"Prove it," Her brown eyes looked almost hopeful. "Prove it to me you're not a dream."
I did the first thing that came to my mind. I moved with lighting speed to the closet of her room and broke apart the floor boards. Then I pulled out her birthday gifts that I had hidden there all those months before. She stared at me with amazed eyes as I did this.
"Here," I told her as I passed the stuff to her, "It's all I can do."
She took the items in her hands and gasped as she saw the picture that she had taken of me on her birthday. I was giving the camera an amused look. My eyes shown with a perfect gold while Charlie stood in the background watching Bella with a interested smile. The picture shook. I wondered why a picture would be shaking but then I realized it was Bella that was shaking and not the picture. Bella was shaking and she closed her eyes.
Her voice shook as she spoke. "Go away, please."
"W-What?" I asked her, my hopes sinking.
She took a deep breath, "Edward, please."
I bit my lip and moved closer to her. She stiffened and opened her eyes, seeming to sense my moment even tough I moved so quietly. I moved out my pale hand and put it on hers. She did not push it away this time tough. She held in her hand as she breathed in and out over and over again. Her breath smelled so sweet. I savored it. Then she spoke again.
"How do I know I'm not dreaming?"
Her voice sounded so quiet. It sounded like she was waiting for me to disappear and her to wake up from her dream. I replied by moving my face closer to hers. Her eyes widened when she figured out what I was trying do.
"No," She spoke softly, trying to move away from me.
I moved with her. Her heart was pounding and so I stepped back and looked at her. Her face was just as beautiful as I remembered. Her brown eyes were wide and so amazing. I gave her a smile.
"What do you want me to do now, Bella?" I asked my voice light. "I'm never leaving you again."
She seemed reluctant to believe me and I was starting to get panicked. I moved and sat on the edge of her bed edge while at the same time clicked on her lamp light by the bed.
Bella seemed to calm down more and slowly walked across the room to sit next to me. I moved over to make room for her and she sat in the same spot and way that she used to when I would lay in bed with her all night. I enjoyed this feeling. I'd missed it so much during the last months it ached. Now I felt it again. Bella with her tired face next to me in her bed upstairs in the Swan house. I couldn't resist moving my hand across her face to move a strand of hair out of her face.
"Bella, I'm here. I'm back. I'll never leave you."
Bella looked deeply into my golden eyes and I saw the thoughts doing through her young mind. Her thoughts were spinning, I knew even though I could not read her mind. She seemed to take a deep breath then came to a choice.
"Okay, Edward." She whispered, her voice like a little girls' as she moved closer to me.
I couldn't stop a smile from spreading on my face as our lips met for the first time in all those months. She tasted so good. I missed her lips also while I was gone. I loved the feeling of her warm human lips across my cold vampire ones. We lingered like that for a few seconds before I moved my left hand to put if in her hair and my right to twist around her waist. We broke apart about 20 seconds later, like usual. I could not kiss her for much longer than that without losing my control.
"Ah," I sighed, lying slowly back down next to her.
"Edward?"
I noted the nervousness in her beautiful voice. "Yes?"
She bit her lip. "Are you really staying?"
"Yes again, Bella," I whispered, "I'm never leaving you again. It was stupid. So stupid to think I could go on with my life not with you. I need you, Bella. I'm not ever, ever leaving."
I could tell she was relived, but still not fully sure she was not dreaming. Bella moved and looked me in the eyes. Again I was amazed by the beauty of her brown beauties. I looked at her back with love, as she looked at me in the same way.
"And I'll never leave you, Edward."
I smiled as I moved in the kiss her once again.
"I love you, my Bella."
