Porcelain Hearts and Forgiving Smiles

Rin's POV

One week... two weeks... four weeks... a month. It has been a month or so since he left. Since he said that I was useless, since I said, I loved him. He told me that I could not travel with him anymore. He said I was 16 and should already be a mother. He said... it was useless to have me around.

I didn't expect any of this. But it hurt so much when he told me to leave, but I did so anyway. He was my protector, my savior, my life. It was because of him I was alive. Because of him that I am no longer dead. But it was also because of him that I am living this awful life right now.

"Rin!" yelled Mizua running towards her adopted sister.

Rin turned around only to get slapped in the face.

"Mother wants you home! She told me to beat some sense into you. But I feel merciful today so I will not." she scampered off back to their house.

Rin did not flinch when she was hit. Because she'd experienced more pain than anyone ever should. So this one gesture wasn't even close to enough to make her cry. All her life she had been protected. Now she knew what he had protected her from. Humans.

But she had already gotten used to this way of life. She would get up make her foster family breakfast, and then basically starve until dinner. That was the only time she ate. When she first came here she was skinny, but now she was very slim but at the same time curvy.

She had cut her hair so it was just about three inches below her shoulders. Although she lost the side pony and instead pull the sides of her hair back and tied them up behind her head. She was very tall for her age. At least a little higher than Sesshoumaru's shoulders.

All the girls at the village were jealous of her. Rin was very pretty. Her soft chocolate eyes, pink lips, curvy body. In a man's point of veiw she would be considered a goddess. Her kind and loving attitude had faultered but she was still kinder than any of her foster family.

Rin walked back to the house relunctantly hesitating a bit. She thought of running away but remembered the last time she had tried to.

Flashback

'Almost there.' Rin thought desperately.

She had run away but her step mother had sent the town's guard for her. She was fast. Actually when she was 14 she had bothered Sesshoumaru to have a race wit her. He went his full speed and so did she. But he only won by about an inch.

Her full speed was faster than most demons could run. She could beat Inuyasha without even triyng. But now not even her speed could save her. An arrow shot past her head making her stop in her tracks. They had found her.

"We've got her!" the captain of the guards shouted.

Her eyes were nothing but blank. After all those years of traveling with Sesshoumaru she had learned to walk like a shadow and keep her face as stoic as it got. Her natural smile was never on her face anymore. It had disappeared with Sesshoumaru.

"C'om let's get her back." one shouted grabbing her rists and holding them behind her back.

She did not scream. Who would save her anyway? Sesshoumaru wouldn't respond to her screaming his name anymore. In fact he was probably miles away by now. Nothing could save her now. Only she could save herself nad she did not have the strength to.

As soon as she got back to the village Kankoro her step father was waiting there standing at the very enterance of the village. He has a whip in one hand and in the other a pocket knife. He had told her that the punishment for this little act would be bad.

He cut her in several places and whipped her until dawn. Inside their houses people could hear the cracking of a whip, but no screaming. Rin refused to scream, she refused to show weakness.

"What's wrong with you? Why don't you scream? Your muteness doesn't appeal to me!" he scolded whipping her harder.

By now Rin's eye's were tightly shut, and inside each time that whip came down her heart screamed.

Instead her feet carried her back to her home. Her sister, mother, and father were all waiting at the table for dinner.

"Come on, hurry it up we're all hungry here!" her mother screamed.

Rin nodded and bowed before entering the kitchen. After dinner, which for rin was a piece of ham and some peas, she Rin went straight to sleep. The moment her eyes closed she had that dream again...

"Rin." said Sesshoumaru glaring at her.

His cold glare sent shivers down Rin's spine.

"Y-yes Lord Sesshoumaru?"

"You are a pathetic human... nothing more. You understand that right?"

Rin nods.

"Good, you are no longer allowed to travel with me. I will take you by a human village where you will stay." he finished leaving behind a stunned Rin.

"B-but Lord Sesshoumaru, I don't want to le-"

"You will do what you're told!" he shot back his eyes full of anger.

All Rin could do was walk until she had reached her final destination.

'Why Lord Sesshoumaru? Why?' she silently asked herself.

Sesshoumaru almost had the same thoughts.

'Why am I doing this? I don't want her to leave. Am I afraid that she'll leave me? No. Maybe it's the fact she is a human and I care for her too much for my own good. But, I still don't se why I'

But his thoughts were cut short by Rin's voice.

"You selfish demon..." she whispered.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened and he felt a pang of sadness and guilt wash over him.

"You never really cared. Not even a bit. You are just goin to dump me there, and go on like I never exsisted! How could you? You are truly evil aren't you?" she said tears falling freely down her cheeks.

"Rin.. I have to do this. You don't understand I have to." he said almost in a whisper his head falling.

"No! You didn't have to. You thought you did! You just don't care at all!"

"This Sesshoumaru has made up his mind do not speak of it anymore." he said turning away.

"Sesshoumaru."-she said dropping the 'lord'-"I love you. Don't you get it?" she finally asked pulling her head up just to face his back.

He was silent for a long time. Then he finally spoke.

"I do not feel the same... I do not even care about your feelings. You are a useless thing that has latched on to me and has to be cut off." he replied cooly.

'Why did I just say that?' he asked himself his brows furrowing together.

Suddenly he heard footsteps and imediatelty knew what he said was wrong. He regretted it deeply.

Rin was running as fast as she could back to the village they had past a couple of hours ago.

"Evil.. back stabbing... demon!" she cursed running faster.

After that it all went black, and the vision faded away.

Rin woke up panting. That dream. She had been having it for about a week now and it was bothering her. The main reason because, it kept reminding her of how stupid she had been. She had just gone out and told him that she loved him. Her common sense was not working.

But her heart ached when she got out of bed and got into her work clothes. The kimono that sheh ad been wearing when she had been with sesshoumaru was somewhere burried deep in the forest. She need not to be reminded where she burried it. Because some things are well left unremembered.

"Evil bastard. How could anything... or even myself feel anything towards him." she said gritting her teeth.

He will not be forgiven.