Making Memories

---

The light filtering through an open window drifted across a pillow, coming to rest on a closed eye. Dark lashes fluttered moments before opening, one brown eye glaring toward the window. A small sigh sounded as she rolled onto her side away from the sun, but it was too late, her mind was already awake. Her body sprung to life, her limbs moving before she had time to register and soon she found herself on her feet. Stretching her arms over her head, a long drawn out yawn fell from her mouth.

With eyes closed, she took another moment to wake, the warm sun at her back, warming her as a soft breeze ruffled her short, dark locks. With a jolt, her eyes snapped open, coming to rest on the door as her ears registered the fact that there were footsteps outside in the hall and more importantly they had stopped at her door.

Tuning out the sound around her she detected the sound of a distinct and all too familiar heartbeat. Moving slowly to the door, she paused, a hand running up the wood to stop, palm down. Even through the door, she knew his presence. It was a feeling, part of their connection, though she still wasn't fully aware of it, or how it worked.

As time slowed, she realized he was moving away, and quickly opened the door her heart speeding as he stopped to turn his head, his gaze falling on hers. "I'm awake." She forced out.

He didn't say anything, just stood staring, his eyes soft and his expression confused as if he wasn't sure either.

Her mind was a jumble, thoughts and things to say slipped through her brain but nothing was coming out. It occurred to her that if she couldn't tell him, maybe she could show him.

Her breath hitched, her heart stopping, as his hand brushed back the hair at her temple, his eyes soft and warm as he smiled. She found everything else fading away as his lips met hers, her mouth turning up in a grin as he pulled away...

It took only a moment for the image in her head to go to his but she knew when it did from the look on his face. 'I did it.'

"Breakfast." Nicole's voice interrupted their moment.

With a shy smile she brushed past him and headed into the kitchen, feeling the mental connection slowly fade as his gaze moved from her back. Taking a seat at the bar area of the dining room, instead of the table, she was surprised when she felt him take a seat next to her. Peering sideways, she felt the heat rush to her cheeks as his eyes met hers. The look on his face caused her stomach to clench and she was forced to look away, taking a deep breath.

A small tickling in the back of her brain made her mental blocks raise quickly. The moment was once again broken as Lori trudged into the room. Jessi didn't meet her eyes as she rose from the bar and headed toward her room, feeling his eyes on her back once more.

Moving to her room, she closed the door, hearing a palm smack against it before it was closed. Not daring to turn, she kept her eyes on the window only to close them when she felt his body heat behind her.

"Jessi." His voice was soft.

She turned, her eyes focused on the floor before he tilted her chin to meet his eyes. Her breathing hitched as his thumb brushed over her bottom lip his mind reaching out to hers.

She could feel his breath on her face as he leaned closer, her eyes closing in anticipation as she listened to his heard start to beat faster, hers following. Their lips touched briefly, her tingling with the simple touch, his breath hitching at the contact…She gasped softly before she moved forward, feeling his arms circle her, her head dropping to his chest, closing her eyes as she breathed him in. Listening to their hearts synchronize to the same rhythm, she felt at peace for the first time in what felt like forever. All the pain of the past, the pain of Latnok, Sarah, all of it vanished to a lower level of subconscious with the feel of his arms around her.

With a sigh of contentment, she felt a single tear fall slowly down her cheek before his chin rested on her head, his arms holding her tighter as if sensing her pain. 'I could stay here forever.'

"Me too," he whispered.

But moments never last and it was at that time that Nicole chose to see what was taking them so long and opened the door quickly only to pause at the scene in front of her. She couldn't simply leave, they knew she was there, but the way they were connected touched a small part of her and she winced as she cleared her throat. "Come on guys, its getting cold." Without another word she walked out.

Jessi pulled away, wiping at her face as she took a breath moving toward the door hearing him follow. As she entered the kitchen she could see Lori giving her a strange look and knew she'd have to deal with that later, right now she wanted to sit without thinking.

It didn't take half a day before it was time and as she heard Lori nearing her door she saved her the time of knocking. "Come in Lori."

Lori poked her head in the door. "How did you…." She held up a hand. "Never mind." She closed the door after her and took a seat on Jessi's bed, watching as Jessi worked on Kyle's computer. "So what's up with you and Kyle?"

Jessi turned confused. "Nothing."

"Come on…we're friends."

"You hate me."

"Do not."

"You yell and…"

She was stopped as Lori held up a hand. "Ok, ok. Still I can see something."

Jessi turned back to the computer. "Nothing happened."

Lori grinned. "So something did happen."

Jessi didn't answer as she continued.

"Tell me." She was met with silence though she really didn't expect anything else. "Well mom has been agitated this morning, everyone is weird." She stood and moved to stand behind Jessi. "What are you working on?"

"Nothing, searching."

"For what?"

Jessi sighed. "Doesn't matter, I'm not finding it."

"Can I help?"

"Not really." She paused. "But thank you."

Lori nodded as she headed toward the door pausing before she left. "You know it would be cool, you and Kyle I mean." Without another word she left missing the sad smile thrown her way.

A hand streaked across the mirror, an image shown through the fog. Wrapping the towel tighter around her body, she ran her fingers through her hair and opened the door. She found herself jumping slightly when she found someone standing on the other side. "Nicole."

"Jessi, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Her eyes were so calm and pleading that Jessi nodded her head, not even bothering to grab her clothes as she headed to her room. Taking a seat at the edge of her bed, her eyes remained on the floor as she waited.

"I want to ask you about…you and Kyle. Are you two going to be dating?"

"I don't know."

"You know that it might not be a good idea with you both living here."

Jessi met her eyes. "Are you saying we can't?"
"No." She shook her head. "I would never tell you that after all you two have been through. I just want you to think about how difficult it might be."

Jessi nodded. "Ok."

Nicole stood. "If you need to talk, Jessi, I'll be here. Anytime."

"Thanks." Nicole patted her on the shoulder before she left, closing the door behind her. With a huff, Jessi lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

---

Her arm shot out, grabbing hold of his throat squeezing tightly, watching in pleasure as his face contorted into pain and confusion. She could feel a hand tightening around her arm, trying to pull her away but she only gripped harder.

"Jessi." An all too familiar voice called to her through the mist.

Her eyes shot open before she saw Kyle in front of her, her fingers wrapped around his throat. Quickly she pulled away, wincing as he gasped for air. "Sorry."

He rubbed at her throat. "You were dreaming."

"Yes."

"What about?"

She tried to remember but it was slowly fading. "I was at Latnok…and…I can't remember." She rubbed her face. "Thank you." She reached out covering his hand with her own.

"You're welcome."

Her eyes were on his, his face a mirror of different emotions, all of them flashing across it though he spoke none of it. "Well you should try to sleep more." He pulled his hand away as he stood, missing the look of pain and confusion that she quickly hid.

"Ok." She watched him head to the door and as he closed it behind him she could hear his heart beat pick up its pace, faster than normal, as he paused on the other side. She leaned back against the pillow, unable to call out for him though she desperately wanted to. Her eyes closed as she listened to him head down the hall.

The morning brought no clarity as she noticed everyone was gone when she woke. Passing a clock she realized why and, in no hurry, decided to go somewhere because she needed to get out of this house. There were too many things here that confused her and she was unable to think.

Reaching for the front door, her ears heard the soft, distant, music of a piano and cursing under her breath, she flung open the door and hurried out.

She found herself at the Rack though she had no memory of the trip and one quick look at the counter relieved her somewhat as she discovered Amanda wasn't here. Heading up front, she saw Kyle out back, their eyes meeting for a moment before he turned away. Her mouth turned down in a frown, her eyes watering causing her to clench her jaw and turn back around. Leaving slowly, not feeling the eyes that watched her, she was met with a small drizzle of rain that soon fell harder, soaking her from head to toe.

She wasn't sure where she was heading, her arms crossed over her stomach as a cold breeze blew by, making her realize she had forgotten a coat, but that thought was far in the back of her mind.

For someone who was quick to calculate problems mathematical or practical, she found it impossible to wrap her mind around this particular problem. Her back found itself against a tree as she slid to the wet grass below, arms wrapped around her legs as she buried her face in her knees.

Hearing footsteps stop in front of her, she peered over slightly to see a familiar sight. Peering up more, she saw Kyle looking down at her, his hair hanging wet against his head, his eyes focused on her. "Jessi."

She swallowed, as she wiped her eyes, before getting up and stuffing her hands into her pockets. "Hi."

"You okay?"

"Fine."

"His mouth opened and closed slowly before he took a step closer, standing under the tree with her. "You aren't. I can tell."

"I'm fine."

His brows drew together in confusion as he continued to look at her. "I saw you come in and then you left."

"I had something to do."

"You did, what?"

She broke his gaze as she moved her eyes around to watch the cars drive by, the people hurrying to get out of the rain that she didn't seem to be too focused on. "Something."

"Like what?"

"I have to go, Kyle." She turned to go but paused as she felt his hand grab her elbow gently. "Don't."

"Jessi, please."

She moved out of his reach and took a set back at the base of the tree, unsure as he continued to stand next to her. "You seemed busy." She looked once again at the ground. "I didn't want to disturb you."

"Jessi, you're my friend, you wouldn't be disturbing me."

She snorted. 'Yeah…friend.'

"You should get out of the rain, it isn't healthy."

"I feel fine." She looked up finally, his blue eyes boring into hers too intensely that she stood and tried to brush off the back of her pants, finding it useless as the rest of her was just as wet. Moving out from under the tree, she tilted her head back against the rain, feeling it run down her face, neck, body, calming her as if clearing and washing away her troubles.

Blood, blood everywhere, a distant heartbeat fainting with each passing second…

She gasped as a sob wrapped her body, arms instantly wrapping around her, hers wrapping around him, the only anchor she had that was safe. She knew he knew what she was thinking, his thoughts were focused on the same thing and closing her eyes, she focused on something else. The gentle beat of his heart, the slow steady rhythm of his life force.

Pulling away reluctantly after a moment, she wiped at her eyes. "Think I'm going home…" She paused as her eyes watered, her breathing becoming short and labored as more images flashed in her mind. 'Sarah.'

"Want me to come with you?"

"I…" Her sentence was cut short as she saw a certain blonde walking their way. "No." Moving away from him, she headed into the opposite direction as Amanda, her eyes focused on the ground.

---

The clocked ticked away each minute and each minute seemed like an hour as she lay staring up at the dark ceiling, she saw shadows moving across the room as cars flashed by. She was exhausted though she couldn't sleep, not even close her eyes for a moment, her mind too much awake to allow her to do so. Why couldn't things be simpler? Why couldn't she figure this out? Did he care about her or not? And if he did, would Amanda always be there on the sidelines, someone she would always have to wonder about with him? She rolled onto her side as she tried to sort through these and many more questions. One question kept her awake, the question of that night. Did he mean to kiss her and why did he?

She could hear everyone's breathing as they dreamed on, unaware of the problems of the world, unaware that she was troubled. Nicole, she could talk to Nicole. She shook her head, no, she couldn't talk to her when she didn't know what the problem was. With a groan of irritation, she sat up and continued to listen to them sleep. As she made her way to the window, she noticed one thing that she hadn't noticed for the last several hours and that was that there was one breathing pattern that wasn't there. Kyle, where was he. With a jolt, she noticed that she couldn't hear his heartbeat and rubbed her temple trying to figure out where he would be. She knew he had gotten home later that night, and dinner was a quiet affair as she refused to leave her room, telling Nicole she had a headache.

It had apparently worked since no one came to check on her and soon they were all asleep. She heard Nicole placing a plate of food in the microwave for her and smiled as she remembered she had almost come out. When had he left? She didn't remember, too caught up in her own memories and thoughts to notice. Did he go to Latnok? No, he wouldn't have gone without her, would he?

Throwing on a zip sweater, she slipped on a pair of shoes and opened her window, sliding quietly into the night, searching for something. As she closed the window behind her, she felt a presence behind her and reached out only to have her fist grabbed by a hand. "Kyle." She pulled her fits out of his hand and stepped back. "Where did you go?"

"To check on some things."

"What things? We are supposed to do this together."

"Relax, it had nothing to do with Latnok." He smiled. "Promise."

"Then what?" When he didn't answer, she knew it was about Amanda and brushed past him.

"Jessi I'm sorry."

She nodded. "It's fine." She felt him grab her elbow halting her movement. Turning to him slightly she waited.

"I was confused. I didn't know why I was having these feelings, I thought I loved Amanda and then…" He stopped.

"And then?"

"Then I realized it wasn't the same. The way I feel about you and the way I feel about her."

She pulled at her elbow but he wouldn't let go.

"Its stronger…I went to see Amanda, hearing her play before she went to bed and I didn't feel it. I was always drawn to her but I couldn't feel her…" He placed a hand over his heart. "..in here." He put a finger to his temple. "..in here. You and I are connected in a way I never could be with her." He loosened his hold. "Do you understand?"

"I don't know."

"When I kissed you I worried that I would be hurting her by doing so…" She cut him off.

"She left you."

He nodded. "I know and it hurt, but when I started to think about you and how I would feel if you left." His gaze met hers and she was mesmerized by the warmth in his eyes. "Everything hurt." He stepped toward her, his gaze still locked on her. "I love you Jessi. We are connected in a way I will never understand, but I don't want that to stop. Ever." His fingers brushed against her jaw. "Jessi."

"Yes." She closed her eyes as his mouth met hers, his lips trembling against hers as she listened to his heart faltering its beat before joining hers in a perfect synchronized rhythm.

~--------