Disclaimer: I don't own "Rubik's Cube" by Athlete or Doctor Who.
A/N: So I'm feeling sand and angsty, reading through old Buffy/Hunger Games fics I wrote about two years ago. I was listening to this song, reading, and since I'd just watched a ton of Rose/Eleven and Rose/Ten vids by 0RainbowProductions on YouTube I realized that I need to write something about Doctor Who since I never have. I guess it's because I feel like I couldn't do such a wonderful show justice… anyway, here it goes. Hope you like it.
The world is too heavy
Too big for my shoulders
Come take the weight off me now
Thousands of answers
To one simple question
Come take the weight off me now
He keeps on moving, long after she's left. The day on the beach echoes in his mind.
"I lo—" she had choked out, breathless. She could barely even get out the three complexly simple words out, but after a moment she continued, "I love you."
"Quite right, too." He'd teased. He knew that if he didn't say something he might cry. "Rose Tyler—"
And then she was gone. He was back in the TARDIS, and she was still in Bad Wolf bay. She was stuck there forever and even though he knew that she knew what he was going to say, he also knew that she wanted to hear it. Those last three words would have given her some comfort in all the heartbreak and sorrow.
He feels it every day, a sharp ache in his chest. When he meets Martha, he is stunned by how accepting she is of his world. It reminds him painfully of her. He tells Martha that she isn't replacing anyone, he's just taking her somewhere to thank her for saving him. They travel, and the ache becomes a little more bearable.
I'm like a kid who just won't let it go
Twisting and turning the colors in rows
I'm so intent to find out what it is
This is my Rubik's cube
I know I can figure it out
We're lost in the playground
Late night nostalgia
Open the sky for me now
Friends around the fire
Outside in December
Open the sky for me now
When they're in hiding he becomes John Smith, English teacher. He can't remember much from those times, but he does remember one specific detail; he had dreams. Wild, unbelievable dreams where he relived every adventure with her. He could see her face; the dyed hair that she always styled into braids or let down, the heavy mascara that smudged when she cried, the way her teeth stuck out just a little bit and gave her a lisp sometimes, how brilliant she looked when she smiled. His dream girl was merely a nameless face in John Smith's mind. John Smith, after all, was only human, and had none of his Timelord memories.
Of course Martha has to leave, but it's not for a bad reason. She just wants to be with family. He meets up with Donna again after a few adventures on his own, and he's pleasantly surprised by how happy she makes him. He's never had a real, true friend, someone to talk to about anything. He loves her fiery temper and her wild ginger hair. She is strong, like… like her. Like Rose.
I'm like a kid who just won't let it go
Twisting and turning the colors in rows
I'm so intent to find out what it is
This is my Rubik's cube
I know I can figure it out
The ache dulls and dulls until it's only there once and a while. It stings when he visits somewhere he took her, or sees something he fought with her. In the planet where they sell the Ood, he remembers how she loved to joke about them. "An Ood? That's… ood." He smiles at that thought. When the sky is poisoned, he remembers the empty child. He teases the people in gas masks, asking "Are you my mummy?" because he knows that Rose would have done the same. When he sees Queen Victoria visiting Shakespeare he remember the werewolf, and "I am not amused!" He saw Rose in his companions' humanity, in the now-deserted bedroom of the TARDIS, and in every planet he traveled to. The back of every blond girl's head made his hearts jump. Sometimes he thought he could hear her voice.
He hopes and dreams that someday he will find her. He's had so many companions, and he loved every one of them dearly… it's just that with Rose everything was simple. She made him happy. She loved him, and he loved her. She was the only one that he knew he would have stayed with forever, unlike Martha and Donna. Both Donna and Martha had lives back home, ones that included boyfriends and jobs and family. Rose had all those too, but it just wasn't the same with her. She had been waiting, always waiting. Nothing happened to her for nineteen years—or so she said—until he came along. She had promised him forever, and he had agreed.
Credits roll over
The edges of the horizons
That I haven't discovered yet
He tells himself that he will see her again. He keeps on until then because he knows he can't give up.
One day he and Donna go to a planet, in a city full of Japanese immigrants that came from Earth. Donne is attacked by a fortune-teller who tries to change Donna's future but fails. What's important is what she tells him. Donna says that she saw a girl, a blond girl that knew him and gave her a message for him: Bad Wolf.
She's coming back to him. Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth. He'll find her no matter what the cost.
I'm like a kid who just won't let it go
Twisting and turning the colors in rows
I'm so intent to find out what it is
This is my Rubik's cube
I know I can figure it out
A/N: Fail.
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