Britz-*stares at computer screen* So, bored...Must, write, fan-fic *sucks thoughtfully on his 'pen of inspiration'* must, become, inspired *Two visits to Fan-fic.net, six cokes and a whole lot of chewing on the four-colour 'pen of inspiration' later*-Ha! HA! I've got it! It's brilliant! It's a work of perfection! I'll call it 'H-E-Double hockey sticks bound'! Now I just have to come up with a story that matches that title and I'll be all set!

Summery-The Animorphs go to a zombie-infested island to stop some of dem crazy yeerks. Maybe the first in a series, I don't know since I'm desperate to write something before I go back to school so I came up with this idea 5 minutes ago so I ain't too sure what I'm gonna do with it.

Disclaimer-Animorphs ain't mine and no bloody doubt there has been a movie about a bunch of people going to a zombie-infested island before this fic. So tally-ho and pip-pip and lets get on with the bloody thing.

H-E-Double hockey sticks bound.

Chapter one-Jake

My name is Jake, who the hell are you? Jake's my first name (Duh) I can't tell you what my last name is, I'm not really sure why, I mean sure there's the whole controller thing, but we still give away a billion other clues to who we are in every single book don't we? Go figure. I used to be a normal kid but now my life is a non-stop fight against the evil yeerks, thats the reason I must keep my identity a secret, none of the yeerks can know who we are, except for those yeerks in that peace movement thing, some of them know us, but if we were attacking the yeerk pool they wouldn't start yelling 'Yo Jake!' or 'Hey Cassie, how are things?' That would be rude. I just relised why am I telling you all this? I mean your not exactly gonna 'accidently stumble' into this story, are you? So lets get on with the bloody thing.

Chapter two-No one hosts this one, it will probaly be like this thruogh the whole friggen thing but eh what'cha gonna do?

Marco was all alone in the Chee house "I'm free! No one can stop me this time!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

'Good-lord! Again! Please Marco NO! It's sick! It's vile! It's just plain not right!" The saner part of his mind begged him.

But Marco was too far gone to be reasoned with.

"Oop's I did it again, I played with your heart, then I lost it again, Oh baby baby..." Marco sung out very badly while he put on his long blond wig and shoved the nessary oranges down the frount of his shirt.

'Please Marco, stop this insainity!" His mind pleaded "Britz, can't you make him stop already?"

Britz-Huh? Me?

'Nah the other guy writing the story named Britz, Yes of corse you dumb-ass'

Britz-Al-ight, just wait a sec.

'Well hurry it up, cause damn! How far out of the plot will you go to make a joke anyway? Ya stupied bloody shit-head.'

Britz-Bite me fag.

Using a brush as his mic Marco yelled the final "I'm not that innocent!" Then with a flash of light and a cheesy 'Zap!' He disappeared.

(One more flash and cheesy 'Zap!' later) Marco finds himself floating in the middle of one of the Ellimist's big old floaty tunnel thingamibobs.

Marco-Umm... Hello, anyone here? *relise's he's still wearing has the oranges in his shirt* Oh shit! *Throws away brush and oranges just before Jake appears wearing a blonde wig*

Jake-*eyes closed*..Make me so hot. *opens eyes* well AAH! where am I? And Marco, why are you wearing a wig?

Marco-Bu..But, so are you!

Jake-OH! *remembers what he was doing before.*

Jake(in memory)-*standing in frount of a mirror with the wig on. In a girly voice*- Ooh Jake, your so tough and leadry *takes off wig and says in a tough voice*-Yes well Rachel it's all in a days work, *puts wig on, back to girly voice*-But your'e so manly and you..*There's a flash of light and a cheesy 'Zap!' and the memory ends*

Marco-*watching Jake staring blankly* Jake, uh Jake you still with us buddy?

Jake-*snapping out of it* Wha...Um...Let us never speak of this again, deal?

Marco-Deal. *Marco throws away his wig while Jake pretends too but then stuffs it in his pocket for later.*

(after several more cheesy 'Zap!'s where all the other Animorph's including Tobias stuck in human morph for the sake of this story and (Pfft) Ax appear the Ellimist arrives)

Ellimist-GREETINGS MORTALS.

All-Hey.

Ellimist-I SUPPOSE YOUR'E ALL WONDERING WHY I CALLED YOU HERE TODAY.

Rachel-Not really, it's probaly something to do with a mission or something, right?

Ellimist-YES WELL...YOUR MISSION SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT (NOT THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CHOICE) IS TO GO TO AN ISLAND THAT THE YEERKS ARE USING AS A TEST SITE FOR CREATING ZOMBIES.
*long pause*

Marco-Uh...What then?

Ellimist-OH I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE KILL SOME STUFF, MAKE SOME REALLY BAD JOKES AND IF THE BUDGET ALLOWS YOU SHOULD PROBALY TRY AND STOP EM OR SOMETHING. YOU WILL BE SUPLIED WITH GUNS AND EQUIPMENT, ANY QUESTIONS?

Cassie-Yeah, why are we doing that script thing again where it has our names then a dash then whatever we say after it, when Britz was actually writing it out normally before?

Ellimist-BRITZ IS JUST LAZY, HE FIGURED HE'D CHANGE IT WHILE WE'RE IN THE VORTEX.

Jake-Why do you speak in capitals?

Ellimist-MY CHARACTER IS MORE IMPRESSIVE THAT WAY.

Marco-What's the deal with air-line peanuts?

Ellimist-MAYBE MAN-KIND WILL LEARN THE SECRET OF THE PEANUTS ONE DAY, BUT AS YET YOUR RACE IS TO PRIMATIVE TO UNDERSTAND. NOW YOU MUST GO FORTH IN YOUR QUEST TO MAKE SOME SORT OF SHALLOW PLOT EMERGE SO BRITZ CAN MAKE MANY A STUPID JOKE.
*Ellimist makes a plot hole appear and the Animorphs and (Pfft) Ax get sucked into it* Y'ALL COME BACK NOW YA HEAR.

Chapter 3-No one again

There is yet another flash and cheesy 'Zap!' and the Animorphs find themselves lying in a heap at the bottum of a boat and (Pfft) Ax finds himself lying under the bottum of the boat because I don't like him very much. The boat floats around for a bit until it beachs itself on an island.

Cassie-*angry* Great, where the hell are we now?!

Marco-*points to a sign* Well let me see *reading off sign* The Yeerk's Secret Island Brain-Eating Zombie Test Site./ A division of Dapsen Lumber Company.

Rachel-*reading off sign* Trespasser's will be shot so bugger off, get lost, you'd better step back,...

Jake-*still reading* Piss off, get outta here, just back off, buzz off, Ek-kitatora mugga mugga/Sub title-Fuck off,...

Tobias-*reading* and if your'e still reading the sign you have stuck around too long so GO AWAY!

Marco-*reading last bit* No soliciters.

Cassie-So guys, do you think we've got the right place?

*Jake start's to answer but is cut off by a strange ruffling in the bushes*

Jake-Umm..Did any one else hear a strange ruffling in the bushes?

*3 zombies pop out of the bushes*

Marco-AAAAHHHHH!! The 'Mutant Enemy' logo!!

Zombies-Grr Arg

All(the living)-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *They run towards the boat but Cassie trips*

Cassie-AHHHHHHHHHH!!! *The zombies keep coming at her in the ridicusly slow way zombies walk in all them old movies* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *the zombies are still 10 metres away from her* AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *9 metres* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *8 and a half* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *6.2 metres* AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *5.7!* Oh this is fucking ridiculous! *Cassie gets up and starts running
again and trips again* Sigh *sees that the zombies are all standing right next to her* Hey how'd you that?

Zombies-Grr Arg *they all start reaching for Cassie*

Cassie-AAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*TO BE CONTINUED*
(I guess)


The next one will be better I swear...............Write a review already.