Dichotomy
Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My god what have we done to you
We always tried to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put you through
Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give
-Depeche Mode, "Precious"
Yavin IV
The galaxy had not been kind to Jyn Erso. The events in her life had made her angry and cynical, and she had lost faith in everyone around her. She walked to the far end of the landing pad and gazed into the surrounding forest.
It would almost be beautiful if it didn't remind me so much of home… not that I've ever really had one.
Jyn looked down and kicked a small rock with her boot. She sighed in frustration.
Even if I did have the hologram of my father, the council believes he is a traitor. And they will not believe the words of a criminal either.
"Be careful, I've heard there are murderous beasts in this forest," an amused voice said from behind her.
Jyn turned and saw a tall young woman with brilliant red hair and piercing green eyes approaching.
Jyn gave her a grim smile. "I would much rather face murderous beasts than the council. At least I would know what I was getting into."
The woman held out her hand. "I'm Jade. Data engineer."
"Jyn Erso," she said, shaking the proffered hand.
Jade nodded. "I heard that you were here, but I had to see for myself. Galen Erso's daughter, on our side-"
"I'm not on anyone's side!" Jyn said angrily. "I am only here because it was the last wish of my father. The council will decide what to do with the information I have. Then I'm free to leave."
She took a closer look at Jade. "You said you are a data engineer? You can't be older than sixteen."
"Nineteen, actually," Jade said.
"How did you end up here?" Jyn asked.
"My parents were spies for the rebellion on Naboo," Jade said. "We left there when the base moved to Ulram. They were killed last year during the evacuation."
Jyn looked around the bustling landing pad. "This whole business of empires and rebellions- all it does is give me a headache."
"It sounds like you need a drink," Jade said.
Jyn turned to face her. "If it's strong enough to knock me out, I'm all for it."
Jade smiled. "Follow me."
Jyn tried to ignore the stares that followed her across the landing pad. "So much for anonymity. Kriff."
Jade led her to the control room. It was empty. Jade paused and looked around the room cautiously.
"We're drinking in the control room?" Jyn hissed.
Jade gave her a mischievous grin. "No." She pointed to a corner of the room hidden in shadow. "There's a bulb on that wall that looks like an alarm light. Go push it."
Jyn approached the wall then felt her way across it until her fingers touched the small bulb. She pressed it and a small door disguised as wall paneling hissed open to reveal a narrow tunnel.
"Go! Hurry!" Jade whispered, rushing in behind her. Jyn heard the door hiss as it closed behind them.
She jogged down the tunnel towards the bright light she saw at the end. She emerged from the tunnel into a small room filled to brim with a variety of species who were dressed in clothes of pilots, mechanics and support personnel. A Calamari in a junior officer's uniform sat in one corner, his arm around a Gungan female. A group of pilots sat together, boasting of their latest run against the Empire. A med droid fitted with seven arms stood behind a makeshift bar, serving drinks and beeping happily.
As Jade entered, a Chadra-Fan approached them, it's fanged mouth turned up into the species' version of a smile. "Jade! We didn't think we would see you tonight!"
Jade smiled and gestured at Jyn. "Agreya, this is my friend Jyn, and she desperately needs a drink."
A pair of sparkling pink eyes looked up at Jyn. "We have just what you need. MD7 just mixed up a new batch."
Agreya turned and beckoned them towards the bar. Jyn didn't move. "A cantina off of the control room? A med droid serving drinks?" she asked, incredulous.
"No one would think to look for it so close to the control room," Jade said, laughing. "Senator Mothma had forbidden cantinas because she doesn't want us to get distracted from our purpose here." She pointed at MD7. "MD7 did not come off of a production line. He is programed to "think" for himself. He was banned from the Med bay for experimenting on dead bodies, and his mood swings are worse than a Hutt in heat. He spends most of his time here, mixing drinks that he hopes will kill humans. And that's on a good day."
"Sounds a lot like a droid I know," Jyn muttered under her breath.
The room quieted as Jade led Jyn towards the bar, every eye in the room staring at them. Jyn glared back until she realized that they were not looking at her. Some of the men had fear in their eyes as Jade passed by. Three pilots seated at the bar scattered when Jyn and Jade approached. Agreya, sitting next to a scruffy-looking Wookie, looked like a child's toy in comparison.
"I've ordered you two Ion Cannon's each," Agreya said as Jade sat next to him. "MD has made them especially potent today."
MD7 beeped and warbled, then spun his arms around rapidly. Jyn stepped back, afraid one of them would hit her.
"It's good to see you too, MD," Jade said. "I'm glad you were finally able to have an oil bath."
Jyn sat next to her, wary of the droid, but nearly terrified of the Wookie. She had never seen one up close before.
The Wookie growled and grunted.
"Fluffy, you be nice now," Jade said.
The Wookie bellowed.
"Watch your language." Jade picked up her drink and downed it in one gulp. She grimaced. "Wow, Agreya, you weren't kidding."
Jyn lifted her glass and examined the bluish white liquid. "I'm almost afraid to ask what an Ion Cannon will do to me."
"Just try it," Jade said.
Jyn took a tentative sip. The liquid felt electric as it burned through her, and she felt the hair on her arms rise.
Jade smiled. "I came up with that one myself. Everyone seems to like it."
Jyn tossed it back and thumped the glass down. She reached for the other and drained it quickly. "Give me two more."
Agreya gave her a look which she interpreted as surprise. MD7 beeped and put them in front of her. "That's better."
Jyn hadn't enjoyed herself in a very long time. She laughed with Jade as they watched Agreya drink seven Ion Cannons in less than two minutes.
"How can he do that?" she asked Jade.
" Alcoholic drinks don't have any effect on Chadra-Fan's," Jade said, smiling. "He's showing off."
'Fluffy' growled.
"I know you've had more than him, but you're about to collapse," Jade said. "Just try not to fall over or you'll kill someone."
"Why is everyone afraid of you?" Jyn asked.
"They aren't afraid of me, they're afraid of Fluffy," Jade said, pointing at the Wookie. "She has solved a lot of problems for me. She is the reason that the rest of the base doesn't know about this place."
"Why do you call her 'Fluffy'?"
Jade laughed. "Because I can't pronounce her real name. Agreya suggested 'Fluffy', and she's wanted to eat him ever since."
Fluffy barked.
Agreya latched on to Fluffy's fur and began to crawl up her arm. He sat comfortably on her shoulder. "She won't eat me, she wouldn't be able to survive without me."
"You two are a bit of an odd pairing."
"Agreya grooms her in exchange for protection," Jade said.
Jyn made a face.
"Friendships can be made in the strangest of ways."
I wouldn't know, Jyn thought bitterly. She finished her sixth Cannon and struggled to her feet. "I need to visit the refresher."
The room started spinning as soon as she stood, and she staggered against Fluffy. Jade put an arm around her waist and grabbed onto her belt, then took Jyn's other arm and draped it over her shoulder.
"I think we're done for the night," she said to Fluffy and Agreya.
She assisted Jyn to another hidden door. "I have a refresher in my chamber."
Jyn stumbled as Jade helped her down a narrow tunnel that connected to the base housing corridors. A few steps later, Jade pressed her hand to a wall panel and a door hissed open. She led Jyn through the small room to the refresher. As soon as she was inside it, Jyn staggered to the bathing chamber and pushed a button. She slumped to the floor and sobbed as the water cascaded around her.
Jade waited five minutes, then started to worry when Jyn did not come out of the refresher. She entered the steaming room hesitantly, then rushed to Jyn's side when she saw her shaking form. Jade pulled her to her feet and held her as they both staggered to Jade's bunk. Jyn collapsed on it, sobbing uncontrollably. Jade grabbed a nearby blanket and draped it over her, then knelt by her side.
She put a gentle hand on Jyn's shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong, Jyn," she said softly.
Jyn looked at her with red, puffy eyes. "You are accepted here, needed here…this is your home." She turned her face away. "You have purpose and direction...I can't remember the last time I felt that."
Jade stiffened, and her face turned stony. Jyn, in her emotional state, did not notice. Then, as quickly as it had appeared, Jade's stiffness and hard expression were gone.
"It's the after effects of the drinks, Jyn," she said. "You'll feel better in the morning."
Jyn raised an arm to strike her, which Jade only narrowly missed. "Kriffing-"
Jade grabbed her arms and held them down. Jyn struggled briefly, then lay still. She gave Jade a harsh glare. "I suppose I would be like you too, if I had everything in my life handed to me on a golden platter."
Jade pressed a hand against Jyn's forehead. Soon Jyn's eyes closed and she breathed deeply in sleep, her face calm and peaceful.
Jade stood and looked down at Jyn's sleeping form, her hands clenching and unclenching as she fought a vicious internal battle.
Finally Jade turned away and removed her soaking wet clothes. She exchanged them for a dry set, then removed Jyn's boots, not wanting to wake her to change clothes. She placed another blanket on top of her, then again stood over her, clenching and unclenching her hands. She gave a frustrated sigh and gestured to a panel in the wall. The lights dimmed, then Jade took her sodden jacket and folded it. She lay down on the cold floor with her back against a wall, giving her a clear view of Jyn. She rested her head on her jacket and soon drifted off into a troubled sleep.
Jyn woke to a pounding headache. She sat up and rubbed her stinging eyes. Suddenly she felt bile rise in her throat and she dashed to the refresher. She had just made it to the sink when the contents of her stomach heaved out of her. She retched again and again, her body shaking and shuddering. As she stood gasping over the sink, she became aware of a hand on her shoulder.
"Kriffing Ion Cannons," she growled.
Jade gave a small laugh and half carried Jyn back to her bunk. Jyn lay down and closed her eyes. Soon she felt a cold wet cloth on her forehead.
"MD7 prides himself on how terrible he can make a human body feel after it has sampled his poison," Jade said.
"Remind me to thank him," Jyn said dryly. She felt Jade touch her cheek.
"It'll wear off soon," she said. "Try and rest."
Jyn sighed and turned, her back to Jade.
Jade sat on the floor near the head of the bunk, resting her head against the frame.
Several minutes passed. Then Jyn turned over and looked at her.
"What are you doing on the floor?"
Jade shifted her position. "Well, I couldn't put you down here in your condition, could I."
Jyn slid back against the wall, lying on her side to make extra room on the bunk. "There's plenty of room here, Jade."
Jade bent her arms over her knees. Jyn saw a muscle on her face twitch.
Jyn moved to sit up. "If you won't come up here, I'm coming down there, then we'll both be uncomfortable."
Finally, Jade stood and sat at the edge of the bunk. She slowly lay down, her back to Jyn, and moved as close as she could to the edge to make sure she left Jyn enough space.
"There's at least four inches between us, Jade," Jyn said, irritated. "I don't need that much space."
Jade relaxed a little and moved back. She almost shuddered when she felt Jyn's breath at her neck.
"I had to share a bunk with a Jawa once," Jyn said. "The prison was overcrowded and in some places there were three to a bunk. The lack of ventilation made the conditions even worse."
"I hope you aren't comparing me to a Jawa," Jade said, trying to sound offended. Jyn pushed her shoulder.
"No, I'm saying that I'm used to close quarters."
Jade checked her chrono. "Five hours until the council meeting. We both need rest."
Jyn yawned. "Okay."
Jyn rested her forehead between Jade's shoulder blades. Jade closed her eyes, but could not relax. Her mind swirled with contentious emotion.
"If you can't sleep, I can't sleep," Jyn finally said. She rose on an elbow. "What are you thinking about?"
"What you said about me having everything handed to me on a golden platter, having purpose and direction, being accepted and needed-" Jade paused. "I have none of that."
"Jade, that was the alcohol talking, not me."
Jade turned to face her. "What do you know about the Force?"
Jyn smirked. "I know a priest from the Jedi Temple on Jedha. He believes in the Force, but to me it's all just hokey religion and mindless nonsense."
Jade did not smile.
Jyn gave her a concerned look. "What is it?"
Jade held her hand up so part of it was lit and the other side hidden in shadow. "Very few people know about the Force. It consists of two entities- the light and the dark. Two polar opposites. Those who are Force sensitive must choose between the two, or if they can't, that choice is made for them."
Jyn nodded.
"As a child I was taken by a man who has used my abilities for his own benefit," Jade continued. "I was not given the opportunity to choose. My will is no longer my own." She took Jyn's hand and held it tightly. "Jyn… he wants me to kill you."
Jyn's eyes widened and she tried to push Jade away, but found herself bound by an invisible power. She struggled in vain against it.
"Jyn, listen to me," Jade pleaded. "You must believe me when I tell you that I have fought this since the moment I saw you. What I've felt in you- your desperation and loneliness, your anger and hurt- is mirrored in me. I've known it all, I've experienced it all." Jade closed her eyes and ground her teeth. "Even at this very moment I feel my Master's wrath. I have temporary defenses against him, but they will not last. I think I can keep him at bay until after you have addressed the council." Jade stood and walked to the door. It hissed open.
All at once Jyn felt the invisible power release her. She lept from the bunk and rushed out the door and down the corridor. When she turned her head to glance behind her, she saw Jade standing in the doorway of the chamber, a look of sadness on her face. Then the door slid closed and she was gone.
Jyn ran a few more steps, then stopped abruptly, looking up and down the empty corridor.
She fell against the hard stone wall and lightly pounded her fist against it. Jade's words echoed in her mind.
What I've felt in you… is mirrored in me… I've known it all, I've experienced it all…
Jyn shook her head as she made her way back to Jade's door. I hope I don't regret this….
She hit the door control and was surprised when it slid open. Jade was sitting on the edge of the bunk, her head in her hands, her fingers raking through her hair. She rocked back and forth, muttering words Jyn did not understand. Jyn walked to her and put a hesitant hand on her shoulder. Jade's head jerked up, and Jyn saw agony etched on her face. As Jade's blank eyes focused, tears fell in twin rivers down her cheeks when she saw Jyn standing there.
"Jyn..? You came back…"
Jyn sat next to her shaking form and enfolded her in a tight embrace. Jade's fingers dug into her arms, but Jyn did not let go.
"Jyn, I need your strength… please..." Jade gasped in a pain filled voice.
Jyn was not sure what Jade was asking for, but said, "Okay."
Jade brought a hand up to the side of Jyn's face and held it there. Jyn instantly felt herself weaken and collapsed against her. She was on the verge of losing consciousness when Jade finally let go.
Jyn felt Jade shaking her. "Jyn? Please answer me! Jyn!"
Jyn looked at her through half-lidded eyes. "What did you do to me?" she mumbled weakly.
"I took some of your life-force," Jade said apologetically. "My Master was going to kill me, I needed to fight him off."
"But you said you could protect yourself from him until the council meeting ended."
"When you left I had nothing to hide. But I was unprepared for his attack."
Jyn groaned. "The less I know about the Force the better off I will be, I think. I feel like I've been trampled by a herd of bantha's."
There was silence between them for several moments. Jade lowered Jyn's body and lay her head on her lap.
"Why did you come back, Jyn?"
"You said your Master wanted you to kill me. I want to know why you didn't."
"I told you why."
"You're avoiding the question."
Jade leaned back on her hands. "Ever since I can remember, my Master has lectured me about not forming attachments. 'They will distract you from your true mission,' he said, 'and kill you if given the chance'. "
"But what about Agreya and 'Fluffy'?"
Jade gave a humorless smile. "They don't know me, they never did. When I am gone, no one will ever know I was here."
"You said you and your parents came from Naboo. Was that also part of your cover?"
Jade nodded.
"So what is it that you are attached to, then?"
Jade leaned forward and began to trace the contours of Jyn's face with her fingers, looking deeply into her eyes.
Jyn raised her eyebrows in understanding, but did not refuse Jade's touch.
"You've known me for less than twelve hours, Jade."
"I know."
Jade ran her fingers through Jyn's dark hair.
"Why me?" Jyn asked.
Jade thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know, but when I saw you, it was like stepping from the darkness into the sunlight." She sighed. "I knew then that I could not do what my Master wanted me to do." She caressed Jyn's cheek with the back of her hand.
Jyn sat up and faced her. She took Jade's face in her hands and slowly brought her forward. The kiss was shy and hesitant, their lips brushing gently. Jade took a shuddering breath and their lips met again, this time deeper, hungrier.
Jyn pulled back and looked into Jade's eyes, seeing the anguish and desperation there. "Jade-"
"Shsh… don't say anything… just...hold me."
They lay down on the bunk facing each other, their arms entwined, their foreheads touching. Soon their breathing deepened, and sleep took them.
It seemed that they had just closed their eyes when Jade's chrono buzzed. She looked at it, then cursed. "The meeting starts in half an hour."
Jade rose and helped Jyn stand. They looked at each other, then Jade pulled Jyn to her and they kissed longingly.
"Find me after the meeting," Jyn said.
Jade nodded and led Jyn to the door. She brushed her hand against Jyn's cheek as she exited the room.
As soon as Jade entered the diagnostic room, she was accosted by three of the technicians.
"Jade! The coms to the medical frigate have been disrupted-"
"Our defensive satelites are malfunctioning-"
"A reprogrammed Imperial droid hacked into our top secret database-"
"Gentlemen, one at a time, please!" Jade said, extremely irritated.
Jade hurried to her station and got to work.
Although she tried to focus, Jade became distracted when she felt Jyn's emotions change from hope to defensiveness, defensiveness to anger, anger to determination. Curious, she rose from her station to leave the room.
A communications technician followed her to the door. "Jade, the defensive satellites are still malfunctioning. They keep broadcasting that a fleet of Star Destroyers has entered the system!"
Jade glared at him. "You are perfectly qualified to handle the problem. I can't keep doing your work for you."
She exited the room to find the corridor blocked by several hoversleds. Medical personnel bustled among them, trying to stem the blood flowing from the bodies and onto the floor. With surprise she saw Fluffy's still form, her front covered in blood.
Above the din, Jade was able to hear snatches of conversation.
"- she went completely crazy-"
"- had to shoot her at least twenty times-"
"- eight people dead, including a Chadra-Fan-"
Jade weaved her way between the sleds, often recieving glares and shouts of frustration. When she finally got through, she rushed towards the landing pad. Her heart sank as she felt Jyn's presence fade. She squinted at the ship rising in the sky and hurried towards the landing pad control station.
"Where did that shuttle go?" she demanded.
The comms tech looked mystified. "They called in as 'Rogue One' and just took off. We have no idea who was on that ship."
Jade could not help the devastation that overcame her as she watched the ship disappear.
Suddenly, an excruciating pain knifed through her, and she collapsed to the ground.
You disappoint me, Mara Jade. I sent you on a mission, yet the daughter of Galen Erso still lives.
Mara pressed her hands to the sides of her face, crying out in agony as the Emperor mercilessly invaded her mind.
As my Hand I trust you to complete my will efficiently and without hesitation. You have not followed my instructions.
Mara screamed as a fresh wave of pain engulfed her.
You will return to Coruscant and await my orders. Do not fail me again.
Mara gasped with relief when the Emperor's presence finally left her. She rose slowly and made her way back to her chamber, tears falling silently down her face.