Hey everyone! It's been a while since I put a story up here...anyways, this was inspired by a lot of different things, mostly FAKE and "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" as you will see. My character list for "FAKE: Cops in Tights" so far is as follows. I still need someone to play Asneeze, Latrine, King Richard, Rabbi Tuckman and the assassin guys...I can give people multiple parts if I need to (except Dee and Ryo, obviously). But any suggestions from those of you who have seen the movie and read the manga would be much apprieciated .

Cast (as decided by Dee):

Dee: Robin Hood

Ryo: Maid Marian

JJ: Will Scarlet

Drake: Little John

Rose: Sheriff of Rotingham

Bikky: Achoo

Mother: Broomhilde

Ted: Blinkin

Diana: Prince John

Prologue

"Dee! I refuse to wear a…a chastity belt!" Ryo threw the hunk of metal and script down and glared at his lover.

"Aw, c'mon baby," Dee pleaded, looking up at Ryo over his own copy of the script. "You only have to wear it in two or three scenes."

Ryo crossed his arms decidedly and pursed his lips. "No."

"It was either you or JJ," he whined, toying with the key in his fingers. "And if that little snot was Marian, I'd quit."

For a moment, Ryo was silent. Then, with a heavy sigh, he raked his fingers through his honey-blond hair and hung his head. "Fine."

Dee grinned in triumph and leaned across the table to give his lover a quick peck on the cheek.

"Why do I have to do this?" Bikky complained as he stumbled into the kitchen, pushing a red turban up on his head so it was out of his eyes. He scowled at Dee and sat in a chair between the two cops.

"You don't want to be in a movie?" Dee asked, pretending as hard as he could to be surprised. He'd had to bully the little monkey into playing the part and wasn't at all looking forward to acting opposite him. But he was the only one who could fill the role correctly…

"He's right," Ryo interrupted, propping his chin in his palm and looking at Dee. "Why are any of us doing this?"

"Um…" He glanced around the room, letting his bright green gaze linger on the scripts on the table, and pushed his black hair out of his face with a masculine gesture.

"You have no idea, do you?"

The cop shrugged and flipped his script open to try and change the subject. His eyes lit up immediately upon seeing the scene he had flipped to and he looked up at Ryo. "Shall we run the end of scene thirty-seven?"

Ryo furrowed his brow for a moment, grabbed Dee's script and turned it around so he could read it. He blushed and snapped the script closed at what he read, sliding it back towards the other cop.

Dee chuckled and leaned close, forgetting all about Bikky's presence. "We could do it without the belt."

"No." He pulled back and blushed. "Bikky, get out of your costume. We'll get the turban fixed later."

Bikky shrugged and tore the turban off his head, exposing his shockingly blond hair. His blue eyes glanced between Ryo and Dee for a moment before he snorted and slid off the chair, disappearing into the living room.

"What?" Dee said, pulling back from his lover with a confused look on his handsome face.

Ryo said nothing, motioning with his black eyes at the doorway to the living room Bikky had just gone through.

The other cop rolled his eyes and flopped back in his chair, digging for his cigarettes. "He's gonna have to deal, Ryo. He's in the damn movie."

"Only because you didn't want to change it so anyone else could play the part."

Dee felt the overwhelming urge to stick his tongue out but he fought it valiantly, saying instead, "It would ruin half the jokes."

Ryo scowled and stood up, carefully picking up his script and chastity belt. "If you want to keep the racial jokes, I can't stop you. But I'm sure Mother doesn't approve."

Dee made a face as his half-Japanese partner turned and stalked out of the room.

This wasn't going to be easy.