It was after midnight when Mike finally settled. They had a busy day of soccer, a BBQ and there was a cake somewhere in there. It was a celebration, low key but enough to cause elation, hugs and tons of dancing.
Sara tiptoed downstairs where she found Michael reading or more like sleeping with the book on his chest. He was having nightmares and usually needed a pill to get to bed but she didn't give one to him tonight and he was fast asleep. She didn't want to disturb so she gently took the book away, and noticed it was the Bible. She thought that was both beautiful and heartbreaking.
He had his shoes off so she pulled a blanket over him. The therapist said to leave him be when he was sleeping and not to cause any kind of shift in environment regardless of where he was so she quietly looked him over, afraid of any physical contact that might wake him and then move to turn down the lights but not to shut them off completely.
The kitchen was in good shape so she grabbed a glass of water and decided to try to get to sleep herself. She too, struggled with sleep and had a pill if needed but she tried to resist, needing her brain to re-wire to the life she now had. It was a good life, and it was the right one.
As she went to go back upstairs she looked over to Michael, sleeping and looking worn. He had a good day today and that's what mattered.
Quietly she got under the covers, keeping the hallway light on and her door open, in case either of her boys needed her. Both of them had cried out many times and she would come running, soothing them and helping. When Michael would struggle, she would be there, helping him back to sleep, and if it was Mike, both of them would come, read stories and one of them would usually fall asleep with him.
As she closed her eyes, she could feel the peace but also the darkness. She opened her eyes quickly and scanned the room, still never quite feeling right unless Michael was next to her, and even then, he would usually be up, holding her hand or watching her.
Once again she tried to close her eyes and she tried to remember the day, the laughter, the jokes and all the family time.
"One or two hotdogs Mike?"
He had been kicking the ball around, even after two games and a hard fall.
"One please. And extra crispy."
The group laughed as Taylor Swift played in the background, more for Michael's benefit, as he had a lot of pop culture to catch up with. It was also Mike's favorite singer.
She watched Michael sit quietly, holding a beer and chatting with Sheba. He wore a hat most days, still afraid he would be noticed and therefore cause attention, and today he chose a Cornell red.
Linc put the grilled food on a plate and Sara quickly brought it over the patio table, placing a hand on his back to know she was there. He sent her a smile and then turned his attention back to Sheba who was chatting about her own education.
Linc's voice cut through the music and chatter. "Hey Mike, time to eat."
The little boy came running while Sara turned the music off as they all settled into their seats. She watched as Michael waited for everyone before he grabbed a piece of chicken and a few vegetables. He didn't eat much these days but it was ok as he was seeing a doctor for his nutrition. Everything had to be done in steps.
As he reached for his fork, she squeezed his arm gently and whispered low. "I love you."
He looked at her and smiled wide, not saying it back but gently kissed her cheek and then he went to eat just a little bit.
Mike meanwhile was enjoying his baked beans and hot dog, telling Linc and Sheba all about his moves on the soccer field and the way he tricked one of the other teammates.
"You should have seen it Uncle Linc, totally confused him. My coach gave me a high five and everything."
They all looked with love and let him talk for most of the dinner, with Sheba the only one with enough energy to keep up with him, for which they were grateful.
With dinner finished, and the music back on, Sheba asked Linc to dance to some Michael Jackson which caused quite the laughter from Sara as she reached for Michael's hand, just to hold it while Mike joined in, not knowing the steps but Sheba helping him.
Sara smiled over at the sight, knowing how far they had come. Michael meanwhile was looking on proudly, and then watched as he got up and went to Linc, smiling.
They shared a whisper and then the 2 ladies got curious.
"What are you two up to?"
Sheba looked over to Sara and shook her head. "Loaded question Sara."
They all laughed and soon Linc had pulled Sheba in, and Michael reached for Sara as the Linc changed the music to a slow song as Linc's voice dipped low and Sara watched him dip her, causing her to shriek in surprise.
Michael meanwhile whispered in her ear. "He's such a show off."
They both looked down to Mike who had his soccer ball in hand. "Can I go kick the ball around?"
They nodded, and watched him go off, always aware of where he was.
The two couples shared a slow dance and then broke again, as Linc went to get another beer and Michael wanted to go clean up, to which Sara went to help, knowing Sheba was keeping tabs on Mike.
They entered the house and went to the sink, feeling both energized and excited. There had not been too many times where they felt more than just joy and even less where they got physical. It would come in time.
The plates went in the sink and she was ready to wash them, when his arms wrapped around her and pulled her in from behind. His breath was raspy on her neck. "I'm happy."
She turned into him, feeling the butterflies all over again. "Me too."
They exchanged a long look and sometimes that felt just like one long kiss, his gaze so intense and yet so warm and so focused on her. He pulled away after another quick kiss on the lips and went back outside to grab more dishes.
Night was falling fast as Mike stopped with the soccer ball and moved on to the cake instead. They all gathered again, with the candles burning and the white lights on, chatting about everything but the hardships. They talked silly jokes, Linc told stories about baby Michael and Mike did twenty questions about zoo animals.
It was past eight when Sheba and Linc left, sharing hugs and kisses, and lots of smiles. Sheba would be over the next day for swimming with Mike and Linc would be helping Michael with fixing up the fence in the back.
When the door closed and it was just the three of them, Mike insisted on playing with Lego's. Too tired to argue, Sara said he could and watched as he ran into the living room.
Michael looked tired but his eyes were still bright as he came over to her, wrapping her in a hug. "I'll go play with him for a little while. Why don't you take a bath and relax."
She preferred to be with him but she nodded, kissed his forehead and smiled. "I'll tuck him in."
She watched him go to the living room and she decided she wasn't ready to leave them just yet, as she watched them from a distance, as Mike was jumping right in with his work on the Millennium Falcon, that was about 30% finished.
"Dad let me know when you find the gray piece that is long and wide."
She chuckled and watched as Michael quietly sifted through, knowing how tired he was. "Buddy there are a lot of grey pieces here."
Mike shrugged and was working on the left side, his little hands working hard and to put the little pieces together to make up the big piece.
She watched as Michael smiled looking for the piece he wanted, and knowing him, probably able to figure it out even with little information.
A thought came to her mind. Well many but the overriding one was how grateful she was. Quietly she stepped away and listened to them as she walked up the stairs, their voices causing her to smile just a little more.
Her eyes opened and she looked over. She had been out for a few hours. No Michael. She didn't feel nervous but just to be sure, she decided to get out of bed and check on them both.
As she passed Mike's room, the night light on she could see the drawings of their house, their family and him playing soccer ball on the walls. His comforter, the color grey because it was his father's favorite was rumpled at the end of the bed. She decided to walk in slowly and pull it up, feeling like his room was a little bit on the cooler side. He was on his side, in his Superman shirt and blue shorts.
The many therapists they went to over the year told them to let things just happen. No forcing and the emotional outbursts or quiet time was nothing to be alarmed of but she still worried. He had been doing so well in school but he was only nine. She knew it was only going to get harder once he hit middle school but she didn't want to think that far ahead.
Again she walked out of his room like a mouse and headed downstairs, needing a glass of water again but more to make sure Michael was ok. The lights were still the way she left them and when she looked over at the couch she noticed it was empty.
Her heart raced but she didn't hear anything so she quickly took a breath and walked to the kitchen to find him sitting near the window, a glass of water on the table, looking out.
She didn't want to scare him so she entered and opened the cupboard hoping that would jolt him. It did and he turned. "Hey."
She looked over and saw his face, calm and sweet and she knew he was ok. "Hey."
Quickly she poured a glass of water and walked over, finding a seat close to him. "Mike is down for the count."
He put his hand on top of hers, warm. "Good. He was quite busy today."
She chuckled and looked at him, finding the hardness that she sometime found not there. "He had fun. We all did."
He nodded and took her hand with his, wrapping it in, not looking at her. "Today felt like a normal day."
There were so many things she could say but she decided to keep it simple. It was late and he was always thinking. "It was."
There was a pause and she took a sip of water. He still looked tired and she wondered if she should get a pill for him, knowing that tomorrow he would be laboring all day.
But the quiet times were ok too. They could be harsh and unrelenting but peaceful and safe and when they had a moment to be like every normal couple they took it.
They sat for a little while, just quiet and keeping their hands clasped. She could tell he was getting tired again so she quietly whispered. "Time for bed Scofield."
He gave her a smirk and pushed his chair back, breaking his grip from her. "Doctor's orders?"
She giggled and left the waters on the table as he reached for her hand again, and she took it, feeling the strength and hope in it.
They walked up the stairs together and when they settled into bed, she felt his arms wrap around her, gently and closely. "Good day today."
She kissed his forehead and let him breathe her in against her chest as she closed her eyes and whispered back. "Beautiful day."