Prudence sat down at her writing desk, determined. Her notebook was already there, opened up to a pristine blank page, empty, yet full. Full of the promise of greatness. She was going to pen a beautiful piece of poetry that would put into words exactly how profound her feelings about The Lord of the Rings were. This poem would have the power to move all who read it to tears, to recruit new converts to the Tolkien fandom, to change people's lives, to inspire them to such noble deeds as the ones her favorite characters had so epically done. This piece would employ spot-on metaphors and symbolism; it would paint stunningly vivid, magical pictures in people's minds. The words she'd use would be exquisite, perfectly chosen. They would show off her extensive vocabulary and would flow beautifully and seemingly effortlessly over the page in a flawless, undulating rhythm, like a cool, crystal blue stream slipping gracefully and musically over smooth, multihued stones…
A is for Aragorn, King Elessar;
B is for Butterbur, who works at a bar.
C is for Celeborn, who lives in a tree;
D is for Denethor, as mad as can be.
E is for Ëarendil, with his bright Silmaril;
F is for Frodo, who did Sauron ill.
G is for Galadriel, of fair Lórien;
H is for Húrin, who married Morwen.
I is for Isildur, who took the One Ring;
J is for J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote the whole thing.
K is for Khazad-dûm, a dark, scary place;
L is for Legolas, so pretty of face.
M is for Merry, who stabbed a Nazgûl;
N is for Narya, a ring with a red jewel.
O is for Osgiliath, the city on Anduin;
P is for Pippin, who saved Faramir from ruin.
Q is for Quenya, a language Elves speak;
R is for Radagast, one the little birds seek.
S is for Samwise, as loyal as they come;
T is for Tuor, who got the job done.
U is for Ulmo, the Lord of the Sea;
V is for Varda, who makes stars so lovely.
W is for Wargs, which certainly scare us;
X is for Shadowfax, chief of the Mearas.
Y is for Yavanna, plants and trees she maintains;
Z is for Zirakzigil, where a Balrog was slain.
There are many more names, far more than I've mentioned;
Perhaps sometime later, I'll give this list an extension!
And fix this cheesy ending stanza.
(Nothing rhymes with stanza.)
(Oh wait, organza does.)
And it will be as lovely as Arwen in a dress of organza.
Oh dear. What even is this.
Well, she tried.