Story will be updated roughly once a day until I am caught up with the show and/or I am caught up with all the chapters I have currently written. I put translations in parentheses, but I was not sure if that helps or breaks the flow. Let me know if you prefer translations at the end of the chapter or intermingled as they are.
Hopefully you will enjoy my version of events!
Thoughts, comments, concerns are always welcomed!
The sobbing echoed off the stone walls, making it reverberate throughout the room, amplifying the sound to a near deafening tone. She felt her way along the stone, the moisture from the air gave the cold wall a slick texture that felt foreign under her fingers. As the sobbing grew more and more intense, so did her searching for an exit along the walls. She furiously pressed against every dim stone she could reach, trying to find a weak spot, a door, something to guide her out of the square space.
She moved swiftly, touching everything, feeling cold moss cling to her skin, water drip down her soaked arms, her visible breath releasing in short bursts of mist in the cold air. It felt like forever, but she finally felt the stone knock back at her, a dull thud telling her that there was emptiness behind the wall. She ran against it, kicked and punched it; trying to loosen the stones enough that she could pull them out and free herself and the person producing the sobs.
She felt her flesh digging in to the stone as she picked and pulled, tearing the stone down one by one until she produce a hole large enough for her to crawl through. Grunting, she pulled herself to the other side; the sobbing stopping the moment she fell gracelessly from the hole in wall to the ground in a pile of broken skin and wet clothes. Her heart beat wildly, reverberating through her body, thumping loudly in her ears, blood pushing its way through her body noisily. Distractingly.
She gave her eyes a few moments to adjust to the dimly lit room. There was no sound emanating in here. The silence and the darkness combine together to disorient her. She felt like she was falling into a vacuum, a hole where no sound or light could escape and the momentary thought only worked to increase her anxiety. She willed herself to stand up and take a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and steady her internal resolve to continue moving forward. She inhaled deeply as she was taught, concentrating on the way her lungs filled up and imagined the oxygen moving its way through her blood, bringing her heart rate down quickly. Her eyes finally adjusting to the darkness and she could see an arch on the other side that indicated there was a path she could take out of here.
Not knowing what could potentially lay ahead of her, she looked around her for some type of weapon. Finding nothing obvious in the room, she leans down and picks up one of the stones she had dislodged from the wall, she lets its weight rest in her hand as she decides if a larger stone would be easier to wield over something smaller that wouldn't weight as much.
Suddenly the wailing that had drawn her in this direction in the first place starts again, louder and more pronounced this time. She keeps the stone in her hand and begins to move cautiously forward towards the entrance of the room, training her ears to try and pick up any additional sounds, how many people might be on the other side? What danger could she be walking in to without any kind of protection? She peers past the arch, and sees a long corridor that ends in a room that appears to be better lit then the one she is in. She takes a few tentative steps in that direction, noticing the abrupt change in temperature dropping significantly with each step. Her damp clothes weight her down and stick to her skin that pricks at the cool air. Her movements feel jerky and slow, like she is wading through mud despite there being no obstacle between her and the room she is heading towards. She breaths out a huff of air and watches it transform into a cloud of cold as its released from her body. Curious she though to herself, it's to early for this type of weather, how have I missed the preparation season? Where am I? she mused, taking in her surroundings again.
The wailing suddenly stops again, forcing her to pause her internal processing to see what has caused the silence to envelope her again. It takes only a second or two for the wailing to be replaced by piercing screams of pain. She crouches low covering her ears as the shrieks bounce off the walls with such ferocity that it feels like she's being bombarded by a 1000 people screaming their pain at her all at once. Her breathing increases as panic envelopes her. She opens her eyes wide in fear as the realization hits her, she recognizes the voice, the tone, the person that those screams of terror are coming from.
She quickly pulls herself together, and without thinking runs towards the source of the sound, "COSTIA!" she cries out, her feet carrying her faster then she thought possible towards the room. With no warning, a door slams the entrance shut giving Lexa no time to stop her momentum as she crashes into the door. "COSTIA!" she screams again as she picks herself up from the floor, she begins pounding on the door with every ounce of her strength.
"LEXA!" the voice beckons, pleading. "HELP ME! LEXA!" Her blood runs cold at the painful screams coming from her lover. She claws wordlessly at the door, trying to break it open with sheer brute force. "HURRY!", came the pleas, egging her on to continue to try and break down the wooden barrier.
"COSTIA! Hold on, I'm coming!" She screamed back as the cries of pain grew louder. Tears began streaming down her face at her hopeless realization that she was not strong enough to bend or break the wood to her will. She punched the door once more, feeling hope leave her body as she slid down the door in despair. She looked at her hands, blooded from the stone and wood, her ragged breath cutting through the sounds of Costa screaming in pain. Her body betraying her in the only moment where she needed it to come through.
"Lexa!" came the ragged response, "Please!". She could almost feel the pain Costia was feeling through the door, but it was useless, the door would not budge. She slammed her forehead against the door, feeling helpless as sobs escaped her, when she felt a wet puddle growing beneath her knees. She looked down and felt the warm liquid with her fingers. She raised her hand up to her eyes, trying to figure out what it was. It was then that she smelled the distinct scent of metallic. She stood up quickly to look at the forming puddle at her feet, it was Costia's blood. She stared at it, trying to process how much potential blood there was, when she realized how quiet it had become. When did she stop screaming?
Panic enveloped Lexa once again as she took a step back, and ran at the door, hitting it with her foot. She felt the door bounce back, giving a little as her attempt to place her full weight on it increased. She reared back once more, and aimed her foot at where the latch would be; the sound of the wood splintering gave her renewed energy as she wielded back once more.
She burst through the door into the room and took in her surroundings quickly. Two small torches hung on the walls opposite her, casting a low glow across the room. In the middle, was a slumped over form, where the shrieks were coming from.
"Costia, I'm here!" Lexa breathed out, running towards the draped body on the floor, she pawed helplessly at the layers of clothing that were surrounding the figure, trying to discern top from bottom. "Where are you?" she cried out desperately "speak to me Costia!"
"I'm here Lexa." came the calm reply. But not, not from the body that Lexa was searching. It took a moment for her brain to catch up as she realized the sound came from the other side of the body she was hovered over. Lexa leaned over the body, trying to find her, confusion tore at her mind as she tried to understand what was happening. "I am here." came the response once more from a small basket, Lexa's blood ran cold at the realization. "Why didn't you hurry? Why didn't you save me?" Costia's disembodied head asked her, stared back at her waiting for a response.
"I tried! I tried Costia!" she tried to yell, but her voice was suddenly hoarse from unshed tears. She felt bile rise in her throat at the realization that she was to late, she was not strong enough to save her. "We can fix this" she begged, "I will fix this!"
Costia's accusatory eyes stared back at her, "You were to late! You were not strong enough!" Lexa felt as if the room was crashing down around her, she tried to speak, to make sense of the situation, but she could barely breath. "YOU LET ME DIE!"
"No" she whispered out desperately, "Costia please! Come back to me!". The body started to rise, and warm red sticky liquid oozed out of it, covering Lexa as she sat there watching the body move towards her, begin to attack her. She initially attempted to fight it off, but Costia's body, her voice screaming at her; she couldn't fight back, couldn't raise a hand against her lover.
"You were not strong enough Lexa! You let me die!" she repeated over and over again, her voice rising with each repetition. "It's your fault Lexa! We all died because of you!" The headless body began striking her harder, ripping at her clothes and tearing at her flesh as she struggled to get out from under its hold. "We died because you were afraid!"
"NO!" Lexa wailed, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I tried!" she screamed back, bile once again threatening to erupt from her due to the mixture of emotion and fear.
"I died because of you!" Costia screamed at her, the sound drowning out her own voice, her thoughts, her ability to move or counter the attacking form above her.
"NOOOO!" Lexa screamed again, trying to drown out Costia's accusations, "Please!" she begged, "please stop!". She needed to stop her from telling her the truth she already knew, the truth she was constantly running from.
She screamed until her throat felt raw as she sat up, tearing at her own blood stained clothes, ripping at her own flesh; desperately wanting to get Costia's blood off of her, get her voice out of her head.
"Lexa!" a new voice cut through the fog of sound that had enveloped her, "Lexa stop!" She felt warm hands pressing down on her, felt light shining through the dark room that had been surrounding her. "Open your eyes!" the voice commanded her.
Lexa struggled against the hands that were holding her down, still screaming her opposition to the ringing sound of Costia's words as she struggled to open her eyes and focus on what was happening around her. Lexa felt a hand softly caress her face, trying to calm her down as the same voice cued gentle coaxing words to her. She leaned in to the gentle caress and allowed her eyes to focus on the world around her again.
"You are safe, Heda." The voice whispered again and again to her, wiping the sweat from her brow as she she came into view. Lexa stared wide-eyed at Anya, blinking through the realization that she was indeed safe. She must have ran to her room upon hearing her screams again. "Costia's soul reaches out to you again?" she asked quietly, already knowing the response.
Lexa nodded mutely, feeling the numbness of realization hit her. She stared blankly at the wall, remembering how it felt to fight her lovers body; remembering how it felt to hear her screams of torment and pain. She shivered reflexively at the memory of the cold fear that had enveloped her in her nightmare.
Anya sighed at her reaction, she pulled her forward so their foreheads touched and Lexa closed her eyes at the intimate gesture. Letting her body relax as she forced her breathing to slow down and match Anya. "You cannot continue to let the dead haunt you. You must be strong now, Lexa." She whispered to her softly, letting the words still the room. "You have a war to win, people to lead. You can avenge her death after you bring the Azgeda (Ice Nation) down. "
"Her murder." Lexa corrected her, "Because of ME!" she hissed out through clenched teeth, feeling the tears threaten to fall again.
Anya pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes once more, "You were not fully Heda then, you were still Lexa of the Trikru." She reminded her, "You were weak, young." Lexa nodded remembering, it felt like a lifetime ago when she was just 15. She wiped away an errant tear that had managed to sneak out of Lexa's left eye. "You cannot be that girl anymore", she smiled as Lexa matched her gaze, "You do not have the luxury of mourning the dead, no matter how much they call for you. You are Heda now, and you must be strong."
Anya held her face in her hands, waiting for Lexa to get herself together. "What if…" Lexa begins to ask, doubt written plainly on her face, before she is cut off by Anya's finger on her lips.
"No one can see you as weak. Mask your emotions Lexa, just like you were taught. "Hodnes…" (Love), she paused before reciting the familiar phrase, "laik kwelnes" (is a weakness), one that Heda cannot afford." She watched patiently as Lexa grit her teeth and and narrowed her eyes, relaxing her face and hiding any feeling she may have behind the carefully constructed facade. "You do not have the luxury to feel." she whispered, bringing their foreheads together again, "You are Heda. You must always be strong."