Here I go again, into the world of first person. This time we have what some might call a comedy. I'm just not sure if the prerequisites for that title include a plot. You see, this story will have school, Phinbella, second dimension, PhinOC, time travel, more OCs, and many more clichés which have made FanFiction famous, but it will not have a plot, or at least, not a reasonable one. This story was made purely for comedy purposes, and it is not recommended that you read this during a silent contest. By the way, Brad, I know you're reading this.

Why do I even need to say I don't own Phineas and Ferb?

Phineas

"You know, it seems like school took forever to get here, and boy, am I glad it did."

I was walking with my friends to the brick building one late August morning - the first day of middle school. It had been a great summer, but it had to come to an end at some point.

"You're glad school started?" asked Isabella, incredulous.

Isabella lives right across the street from my place, so she's never been too far from the metaphorical treehouse, and consequently has had a lot of literal fun. She's also one of my best friends, and the only girl among them. Not that that's important or intentional or anything. She's just fun to be around, and a great friend to have.

"No," I replied. "I'm glad that it took forever to get here."

"I could hardly stand the wait!" exclaimed Baljeet, another of my friends, and the nerdiest of them all. "Higher math classes, advanced science courses–"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," interjected my third friend Buford, a French-speaking Dutch bully of Norwegian descent. "The only good thing about school is that there are more nerds to bully, and more bullies to compete with." His eyes suddenly narrowed, fixed on some random location in the distance which seemed to be slightly up and to the left.

"Let the Bullympics begin," he said dramatically.

"The Bullympics?" I asked.

"Bullympics," corrected Buford. "It's italicized."

"Whoa!" yelled Isabella. "Fourth wall much?"

"Yes," said Buford. "Yes I do."

"That does not even make any sense!" screamed Baljeet.

"It doesn't have to," replied Buford. "Right, readers?"

"Wait, wait, wait," I said, cutting off the conversation, and jumping back to my question. "What are the Bullympics?"

"It's a competition to see which bully can bully the most nerds the best," explained Buford. "I'm the defending champion."

To prove his point, he pulled a golden trophy out of his backpack.

"Do you do this every year?" I asked.

"Yep."

"So that is why I always feel more bullied during the school year," said Baljeet.

"Yeah," continued Buford. "But this year's gonna be super tough. 'Cause we're in middle school now, I gotta deal with a whole different class of bullies - the eighth graders. New school, new level. My trophy's gonna be even harder to retain."

Baljeet sighed, disappointed. This means bigger, better, and stronger bullies for him to fend off.

"Get ready, 'Jeet," said Buford. "'Cause this summer? That was just my preseason warmup."

Finally, my brother Ferb—well, stepbrother, really, but he and I aren't even a step apart—decides to speak up.

"Well, here we are," he says, in his unique British accent. "Danville Public Middle School."

We look up, and see the brick building looming in front of us.

Isabella

I never even made it to math class.

As I was walking by Phineas in the hallway, the officials—however official they really are—decided to make an announcement over the loudspeakers.

"Hey, you two should kiss!"

Um, what? It's a great idea, of course, but I don't need someone who can't see me to suggest it.

"Yeah, you two! You're right next to each other, for Christ's sake! I mean, for the sake of whichever higher life form you believe in, should you be religious."

Gee, thanks. I was about to raise the alarm bells for all that mention of Christianity. In the public schools, no less.

Actually, that's the least important thing I've heard. More pressing is this whole 'You-two-should-kiss' announcement. A quick look at Phineas confirms he did hear it. He's looking at the loudspeakers all funny, as if he's thinking, Kiss? What's that?

He might well be, too. He has yet to show otherwise.

"Oh, come on!" the unidentified voice continues. "You know who you are. Just make your two lips touch. What's so hard about that?"

Finally, it occurs that this guest speaker (alright, this unwelcome speaker) may not be talking to me. Phineas doesn't know what he means to me. At least, not in that sense.

"Don't try pretending that you don't know who you are!" screams the voice. "Your bloody initials are P and I! That should single you out!"

P. For Phineas.

And I. For Isabella.

Maybe it is us.

In fact, it almost certainly is.

Furthermore, it turns out Phineas can spell, because he looks to me with his face all scrunched-up and weird-looking. It's kinda cute. In a FanFiction sort of way.

"Umm... Isabella?" he asks.

I look back at him. "Yeah?" I ask, even though I know what he will say.

Phineas points up at the speaker system. "Are you hearing all that?"

I glance nervously at the loudspeakers. Now there's people chanting over them. Lots of people. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" they scream. Even surrounding us in the hallway, people have taken up the chant.

"Yeah," I tell Phineas.

"Are they..." he can't finish his sentence. Of course he can't. Unable to control myself, I help him out.

"...talking about us?"

Phineas nods. I don't know what to say. This is all a bit unexpected.

Scratch that. It's a lot unexpected.

But do I let such an opportunity just pass me by? I might kiss Phineas now! Isn't that what I've always wanted?

"It's what you've always wanted!" Our favorite unwelcome guest speaker confirms. "To quote [censored because we wouldn't want product placement on FanFiction], just do it!"

"I think they do mean us," I tell Phineas.

"Why?" he asks.

"Kiss now, ask questions later!" the loudspeaker yells.

Phineas is clearly petrified by all this. Honestly, so am I. But he does at least try to lean in a little.

I remind him that we are three steps apart by erasing that distance. Phineas backs off, embarrassed.

"Isabella, you're my best friend," he says. "Why would I want to kiss you?"

"Don't act like you don't want to," the loudspeaker warns. "Lean in!"

Compelled by the demanding voice and attractive triangle, I lean in.

"Both of you," Phineas is reminded.

And so, forced by some guy I don't even know, my lips meet that of Phineas Flynn. The crowd—both the one in the hallway and the one broadcasting over the speaker system—give a collective romantic aww...

I will never forget this kiss like I did the last one.

Wait, what?

Regardless of what just fluttered through my mind, life decided to move on. So, like any sensible kid would do, the voice starts singing that song.

Irving and Priscilla sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love, then comes marriage

Then comes the baby in the baby carriage

Phineas's lips could not have gotten off mine faster.

So, um, Chaos Law, people! Pretty funny, right? Expect it to continue right through the second chapter. Maybe even the third.

This story is dedicated to all those who are perpetually confused. It won't make any more sense than the rest of their lives have.

~Review! If you please.