Title: Pining Away in a Small white Fish Bowl.
Disclaimer: not mine
Feedback: Please
Written during Season five
Spoiler: Slow News Day
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"Hey he's back!" Carol yelled from the outer office. CJ looked up to see Danny coming toward her.
"Hey, you're back," CJ spoke gleefully as Danny Concannon entered her office.
"You look great. Doesn't he look good," Carol said smiling at CJ. "You look really good." Danny smiled and mouthed thank you. Carol and Danny looked at CJ for her reaction. He did look good. He was rested and thinner.
"Good bye, Carol," CJ said slowly to her sometimes meddling assistant. Carol walked away smiling
"You look fit?" CJ said to him, knowing he was waiting for an answer from her. "What? They don't serve a continental breafast in Nepal?" She deflected him with humor always.
"I'm doing that no carb-low carb tastes like nothing thing—"He walked cockily toward her desk.
"How's that workin' for ya?"
"---I'm really craving the hell out of a bagel—"
"Ah, well that sucks for you—"She said dryly
"Sooo," He smirked. "It seems I missed a lot while I was away,"
"How so?" CJ asked plainly as she set a few papers on her desk from behind it.
"What's this I hear you about you asking Gordon to be a sperm donor?"
"It was a joke!" She slammed her papers down, knowing she would never hear the end of that from anyone. "---He acted like a jackass with that story--"
"I'm just saying 'cause if you really need a sperm donor?" He said with his best sarcasm filled with truth.
"Danny--!" She looked out the door to see if anyone was around.
"Ok, ok. I'm leaving." He put his hands up.
CJ did feel the need to smile at his antics.
"Did you stop by for a reason?" She asked.
"Huh?" Danny turned by the door.
"A reason? You need a quote—what--"
"No, I just.....stopped by to say hey."
"Hey." She smiled back. They shared a moment. "You gonna be around for the vote?"
"No, I---"He looked at her with a fondness she hadn't seen in him before. It was a different color. Almost like he was hiding something under the love he always showed her. He scratched the side of his head."—I have a thing I gotta do—"
"Yeah, ok."
Josh poked his head in CJ's office.
"Hey, this one's pretty much in the bag. We thought we'd go have drinks at the Hyatt for a change. Go out get some air?"
CJ gave him a look on how strange it sounded to go get fresh air in a bar.
"Yeah, sure."
CJ laughed at her friends as she fingered the edge of the grasshopper in her right hand.
"I'll be right back," she laughed to her friends.
CJ made her way to the bathroom still laughing to herself. She was winding her way through the restaurant when she caught site of Danny at a table.
"Danny?" CJ asked in mid-laugh, extremely surprised he was there.
"CJ?"
"What are you doing here?" She smiled the large smile she gave only to those she was extremely happy to see.
"Hi. I'm sorry I'm late." A blonde woman in her mid-thirties kissed Danny on the cheek and sat down next to him. She was dressed in a flirty black dress. She was dressed for someone other than herself.
"Oh." CJ took a shallow breath. Danny looked extremely uncomfortable. "You're on a date—your thing was a ---yeah, yeah—of course," CJ felt a shortness of breath. "Why wouldn't you---I mean---I'm sorry---I should—nice meeting you. I should go—I should---" CJ said to the woman and she ran off with a full force walk.
"CJ!" She could hear Danny yell after her as she made her way through patrons and guests of the hotel out of the restaurant and toward the lobby. "CJ!" he yelled after her, doing the same to push past people to get to her. "CJ." Danny caught up with her as she reached the outside, and grabbed onto her arm. CJ pulled away.
"Let go of me Danny?" She didn't look at him, trying to keep her tears back.
"You can't be surprised by this CJ." She didn't look at him. "CJ!" She did it again. "CJ, you can't be surprised by this---CJ," CJ walked away from Danny and he yelled at her, flummoxed on what to do. "---I just met—I never really—it's not even a—uhh-- and even if---" He paused to find the words. "CJ!" He ran up to her again causing her to stop. "If you're not going to be with me you can't assume I won't be seeing other people, just like I can't assume you haven't seen anyone—."
"I see lots of men!" CJ was trying to get back at him.
"This isn't fair." Overlapping her words, Danny took in what she said, but continued his thoughts "--Just because I'm waiting for you doesn't mean you should assume I'm just pining away for you in a small pine box! I can't read your mind CJ, and don't blame me for things you can't act on---"
"Don't act like you can read my mind either." She paused catching what he had said. "You're waiting for me?"
"Yeah?" Danny was surprised she had to ask.
"Waiting for what?" She looked away.
"Don't play this way, CJ." He scolded her like a child.
"I'm not playing." She looked down. Danny knew when she was lying. "You know, I haven't been so celibate myself, my friend---"CJ was trying to protect her heart.
"I—"He knew it, but still didn't want to hear it. "---You're a beautiful woman, CJ—"
"You?"
"Am I a beautiful women?"
"Don't make jokes!"
"I don't kiss and tell. You know that—"He said plainly.
"Well, I kiss a lot. I kiss, kiss, kiss. And tell tell tell." She stopped remembering she had kissed Danny and never told. She didn't know what to say next. "Except for us." She said softly. There was an awkward pause.
"You ok?"
"I'm fine Danny!"
"Ok, ok--."
"Yeah," CJ lowered her head and looked back at Danny. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"I got a thing--I got a call---I have to go to the Ivory Coast in the morning—"
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know. I'll probably start going on the road with some candidates when I get back----"
"Yeah, ok." She nodded her head, holding back tears.
"CJ?" He probed not wanting to leave it like this.
"You better get back" She didn't look at him.
Fed up, Danny threw his hand out and walked away, but his passion for everything CJ led him back to her. He had to get it off his chest.
"You know this wasn't meant to be a date—it was suppose to be--- a business thing—but I'm not stupid--- I know she likes me, I know the signs---I see the signs and she's giving me the signs--she wants me and that feels good for a change--She wants me and she's not afraid to show it." He paused to find the words. "Damn it CJ! I'm trying to get on with my life here--it's not easy—but it's something I HAVE to do. It doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean in my heart I'll stop wanting to wait for you —"
He paused, waiting for some response from CJ. But by this time CJ had already started to cry. Her face wet with emotion and tears, she didn't dare turn to face Danny. She didn't dare show him how she really felt. CJ didn't know if she was more hurt by the love she felt or the hurt she couldn't show him.
"All you have to do is say the word." Danny continued.
"There's no word, Danny." She said in a mid-sob. Danny heard the crack in her voice. "Go back inside Danny," CJ lowered her head.
Danny wanted to go to her, but he knew it would only make things worse. Reluctantly and begrudgingly Danny went back into the hotel.
CJ knew she would have to stand in that spot for as long as she needed to stop her tears. So far it wasn't working. She looked up at the stars wondering who really was pining for whom.
After a moment Josh walked up behind CJ.
"Hey, CJ. Danny said you needed me?" Josh walked over to his friend not truly knowing what his words meant.
CJ turned her head and instead of holding back her tears like she thought she would she burst into a heaving cry on Josh's shoulder. Josh didn't know what to do, but to hold his friend. Danny may not have been able to be comfort to CJ, but he wouldn't let her go with out comfort.