Meredith, that day, had not been doing well. At all. Her mother's words stuck to her, and with no one there to help that's all she could think about. "Your happy? You're happy now? The Meredith I knew was a force of nature. Passionate, focused, a fighter. What happened to you? You've gone soft! Stammering about happiness and saying you're waiting to be inspired. You're waiting for inspiration? Are you kidding me?! I have a disease for which there is no cure, I think that would be inspiration enough! Listen to me, Meredith. Anyone can fall in love and be blindly happy! But not everyone can pick up a scalpel and save a life. I raised you to be an extraordinary human being, so imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you are no more than ordinary! What happened to you?!" Her mother's word were harsh. Meredith also remembered the look of horror and concern on her exboyfriend's exwife. She just pushed past her and fled the building, running as fast as she could to the bar across the street and then drowning herself tequila.
It didn't help that Derek had just broken up with her, saying that he couldn't deal with all the women. Meredith wasn't surprised when the next morning she saw him kissing a scrub nurse. Then there was a ferryboat crash, one of the items Derek had ruined for Meredith. "I have a thing for ferryboats." She remembered those words as well. She was so tired of being ignored, a disappointment, honestly Meredith was tired of being tired. But day in day out she kept at it. Juggling work and Derek and his scrub nurse and her mother and her mother's disease. She was exhausted. So when Dr. Bailey and the rest of her interns went to the ferryboat crash site she became more exhausted, running in all directions, helping patients, letting a little girl follow her. So when a freaked out guy pushed her into the water she became more exhausted.
She fought. She fought hard. She swam. For a few seconds then thought, "What's the point." And then her mothers words flooded back to her again, "Imagine my disappointment when I wake up after five years and discover that you are no more than ordinary!" So she stopped fighting. She closed her eyes, stopped kicking her legs, and relaxed her arms. And she stopped fighting, sinking deep into the water. And as she did she thought, "There's so much more I have to say, but I've disppeared." That was the last thing she thought before she was at the hospital.
Except it was different. Different because there was people there. Dead people, including her. Denny, Dylan, Liz, Bonnie, and even Doc was there. "What was that?" Denny demanded as she pet Doc. Meredith simply didn't reply. That's how the whole expierence went. Them asking what had happened and her denying she had drowned herself. And then Denny told her, "You can't stay here." "I don't want to!" Meredith insisted. "Yeah you do. It's easier, but you can't. Because George's dad dies. Because Izzie lost me. And Cristina -When she was nine, she was in a car accident with her father. And he bled out right in front of her while they waited for an ambulance to arrive. And Alex..." "Stop," Meredith said. "They're barely breathing. This will break them." Tears fill her eyes as she tells him, "I was swimming. I was fighting. And then I stopped." And then suddenly my mother appears and she stand up. "You shouldn't be here," she says to me. "Neither should you," Meredith fires back, "I have to get out of here, I can't leave my friends."
She nods and pulls her into a hug. She whispers in her ear, "You are anything but ordinary Meredith." Shes nod and releases her. "Now run!" They all yell at Meredith. I take off down the hallway, just running. And then all she see is black. 'Am I dead again?' She thinks. She opens her eyes and try to form words. "Meredith. Say something. Say anything," Cristina tells her. The only thing Meredith could manage was, "Ouch." Her ribs and abdomen felt like awful. 'I think they might have done CPR. Of course they did, I was dead after all,' she thinks. She laughs slightly. A few minutes pass and Cristina asks, "What happened?" Meredith doesn't say anything. "Derek thinks you did it on purpose." "Derek can shove it," she say coldly. "Meredith..." she trails off.
Cristina slowly stands up and exits the trauma room she was still currently in. Meredith was still dressed in light blue scrubs, which had been darkened by the water soaked into it. She sighs and Miranda and Richard walk into her room. "What the hell Grey!" Dr. Bailey yells at her. "My mother's dead," she tell them, remembering what had happened in my afterlife. "H-how did you know that?" Richard asks. "She was there. When I was dead." "Grey... What in God's name are you talking about?" "When I was dead, some people were there. Dylan, from the bomb squad, Denny, Izzie's fiancè, Liz, my mother's scrub nurse, and Bonnie, the girl on the pole after the train wreck. And Doc, my dog, was there too. And then right before I came back alive my mother appeared which meant she had to be dead and she told me to run, to get out of there," Meredith tells them. They look at her like she's insane. 'Maybe I am.' They look at her for a few more minutes in pure silence.
"Derek suspects you drowned yourself on purpose. Is this true?" Bailey asks her. Meredith just sighs and averts her eyes, refusing to make eye contact. "Grey," she whispers. Richard had left the room leaving only the resident and her intern. Just then Derek burst through the door and into the room. "Since when are you suicidal?!" He shouts at her. "Since when do you not knock?" She replies. "You should have talked to me!" He yells at her. "No. Derek, don't you dare make me the bad guy here! Don't you dare! And stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend! Stop talking to me at all !" Meredith screams back at him. Derek walks out the door, slamming it.
"Do you need to keep me for observation or something?" Meredith asks, turning back to Dr. Bailey. She nods slightly, "Yes." Miranda hands Meredith a gown and leaves. As Meredith is pulling her wet clothes off someone walks in. Meredith merely turns her head to find Addison. "Sorry," she blushes, turning her back towards Meredith's nearly naked body. "I heard you were awake and I wanted to come check on you." Meredith starts to tie the back of the gown but two hands assist her. "Are you okay?" She asks. "Yeah," Meredith replies simply. Once tied Meredith turns to face her. "Rumor is that this was a suicide attempt," Addison whispers. Meredith sighs. "I didn't expect it to happen. I just got knocked in the water. At first I fought. But then I didn't. I stopped fighting."
"You had nothing to fight for," the redhead says resulting in a small nod. Meredith ties her still slightly wet hair into a ponytail. Addison brings her hand to Meredith's cheek. "You changed colors. You- You were gray, Meredith. And cold. So cold. They pumped you full of drugs and- and-" Meredith stopped her rambling by putting a finger on her lips. "Shh." "Grey! You ready?" Bailey asks, peeking her head in the door. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm good," Meredith mumbles, turning away from Addison. "I'm not riding in that thing," she tells her, pointing to the wheelchair Bailey had set out. "Oh yes you are! You just died now get your ass in the chair or I will put you in it myself," Miranda demands. Meredith just rolls her eyes and sits down.
'This is gonna be one hell of a hospital stay' she thinks to herself