Mr. Tie, Meet Mrs. Shredder
Notes: Got for this fic while I was in Perth staying at my nan's. She has a manual shredder, where you put in the paper and turn the crank, and it had several diagrams, including one meaning no ties.
Chapter 1
House heard his best friend enter the conference room and prepared himself before turning away from the coffee machine. Ugh.
"That is an ugly tie. Julie give it to you?" Wilson looked down at the tie he was wearing, which was grey with black stripes.
"Yes, as a birthday present." House sat down with his red mug and Wilson joined him. "Why do you hate my ties?"
"Maybe because they never look nice, maybe because Julie gave them to you, maybe because some of them clash with the shirts you wear as badly as Chase's clothes clash." House motioned to the Aussie who had just entered, who rethought his decision and continued down the hall. House smirked as he watched Chase leave.
"Well you'll have to put up with these ties. I don't throw them out unless they're too worn or damaged." House smiled as Wilson got up and went through the door to the balcony.
House pressed the power button on the shredder and slowly fed the light green silk tie he had found in Wilson's locker into the machine, watching in glee as the tie was accepted and strange noises started to be heard. As long as it lasted long enough to shred the offending material.
"House!" He didn't glance up.
"Don't want to give this thing my fingers."
"House! Is that one of Wilson's ties?"
"Yep." The machine stopped. "Damn." House pressed the power button, turned off the switch and pulled the plug from the wall for good measure, before starting a game of tug and war for the tie.
"That's the one Julie gave him as an anniversary present!" House held the reclaimed tie up in triumph.
"I'm surprised you haven't said anything about me breaking your shredder yet."
"What did you do to my shredder? Besides feeding it one of Wilson's ties as an afternoon snack."
"I don't know, it just stopped working." He stuffed the tie in his pocket and limped out of the office, while Cuddy put the plug back in and fed the shredder paper, hoping another of House's pranks hadn't caused any long term damage.
"House!" Said doctor looked up at his name and smiled to see Wilson standing in front of the desk, holding the chewed tie. "What did you do?" Wilson was helplessly turning the tie around.
"You did say you didn't throw out ties unless they're too worn or damaged, so I fed it to Cuddy's shredder."
"This was an anniversary present from Julie!"
"So? You and I both know that you don't like them; you only wear them because they were received as presents. Why did you go to change the tie anyway?" Wilson sighed as he looked down.
"I spilt coffee on it." House snickered and gasped in fake shock when Wilson threw the tie in the bin beside his desk. "I think I'll go shopping for more ties tomorrow. Do you want some more afternoon snacks for Cuddy's shredder?"
I have an idea for a sequel for this, but don't know when I will finish it.
Please review.