Note: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. They ARE NOT my own.
I have pieced together a history for the character of Esme, based on what's been written and revealed about her, and her prior life. I have tried to stick with the timeline as best as possible. If there is a mistake… it's not a mistake, it's how I meant it. I hope you enjoy.
This was a good day, I was determined to make so. I had successfully avoided any conversation with mother and father I regards to my matrimony, for today in any case. I made my way back into the house headed toward the stair case. Just as my hand rested on the rail I heard my mother call to me.
"Yes mother." I replied turning to see a too wide smile and a gleam in her eye.
"Mr. Evenson and his wife will be here this evening to dine with us, their son will be along. I would like you to look presentable."
It was a warning, not a suggestion. She glanced at my dirty hand from the garden, and made a tisking sound.
"If you must pick flowers, you must wear gloves," She took my hand in hers lightly, "look what you've done" she shook her head, dropped my hand and turned to leave the room. She was planning something again. I went up to my room, careful not to touch anything. I washed my hands in the white and pink basin, catching sight of myself in the mirror. My heart shaped face was marked lightly with dirt, and my carefully coiffed hair was slightly out of place. I took a deep breath and began cleaning myself up.
"Dinner was wonderful Mrs. Platt" Charles Evenson praised my mother.
"Why thank you Charles how kind of you" My mother said beaming like the sun. "It's such a beautiful evening," she continued "We should indulge ourselves in an evening constitution." She looked over to his mother who hadn't taken her eyes off of me throughout the meal.
"Sounds wonderful" Mrs. Evenson replied putting her hands together.
I couldn't argue the point of going for a walk, I had to get out of the house or I would burst into flames. Dinner and a show, that would be an evening no one could forget.
"I quite like that idea myself." I said standing too quickly.
I was at the door before anyone else at the table had even had the chance to stand. I didn't wait. I moved quickly to the porch to breath in the night air. It was much cooler now than the too warm, muggy day had been. The cooled air felt good on my skin. The door opened behind me allowing for Charles to step out onto the porch. I took a step away not wishing to be in such close proximity. Something about him made me feel uneasy.
"Our mothers will be joining us in a few moments, they said that they would catch us up." He said smiling "Shall we"
I couldn't find an argument, as much as I wanted to. I pretended not to notice him offering his hand and stepped off the porch.
"How long have you lived here?" He asked
"Most of my life. Yourself?" I replied
"A few years now."
Our conversation went on like this for a while, I eventually noticed that neither of our mothers had come out to join us. Feigning concern I returned to the house only to find them watching us from the porch. I gave my mother a look of disapproval, and she responded with one of ignorance.
"I hope you don't mind," I said, "It was wonderful meeting you, but I must retire, I am quite fatigued." without allowing my mother another word I went inside and made the same speech to my father and Mr. Evenson. I then quickly retreated to my room.
The weeks went on much like this. Our joined parents trying to throw us together. Charles was nice, but he just was not what I pictured. He was dark haired and wide eyed with a long face. He had a pleasant smile, and a laugh that made you want to join in. I didn't mind sitting and holding conversations with him, it was sometimes pleasant, but I didn't feel compelled toward anything more.
My mother one day decided to make a speech to me decrying my behavior, and making it clear they wouldn't be around forever. She insisted on my settling down. At almost two years past twenty I would be so lucky to find someone as upstanding and charismatic as Charles. My father had begun the silent treatment, it was almost unbearable. The house was filled with tense emotion, and concern.
Winter was coming early, fall had barely settled upon us and the weather was making it impossible to go outside. I had spent many more afternoons with Charles and his mother, who found me charming and beautiful to my surprise, playing whist and gin rummy. I was intrigued to find they were moving back to Portsmouth, leaving Charles behind in his new vocation. One of those dreary days I found myself mulling over my options. I needed to put the past behind me, and realize I would never find someone like that doctor ever again. I needed to quit comparing every man I met to him. It had been six years since he set my leg, and stole my heart. His soft cool touch, his liquid gold eyes that burned through me… he was gone. He might as well not be real. He was too handsome, to sweet. Too much of a dream.
I needed to live in this reality, and as my parents put it be an adult. Take my head out of the clouds. My friends had long since married, and become mothers, fathers, and some had moved away. Their own world in their own homes. Part of me longed for that, part of me wanted my own life as well. I would have preferred to have my own life out west, in the new lands. I wanted to teach, I had finished my courses, and my path was set. Now my accomplishments were being wasted in lieu of my father's edict.
"Out west is too savage a place for a lady." he argued. He made it clear that my going was completely unacceptable. I was stagnant. I acquiesced to my parents desires in defeat. I would marry Charles Evenson.
The wedding was set for early December, my mother had everything planned with little asked of me. I hadn't even picked out the gown I would wear, or the meal we would eat. I was more of an attendant than a bride.
The day passed in a blur. There was much congratulations, and praise. All the while I smiled and pretended this was what I wanted. In a way it was. I was getting my own life, I was out on my own, in a way, but something inside made me think I'd made a fools bargain. I nodded and thanked everyone, while secretly dreading what would come next. I decided to be optimistic about the whole situation and take what ever came next in stride. I prayed that that mask would hold. After all this is what we do; We live our lives with our husband, we are good wives, we behave with utter decorum and responsibility. That is how I was raised. That is what I would do.
I quickly realized I was in over my head. I did all I could to appease Charles, but nothing was ever good enough. I was constantly being yelled at for simple things like not hanging his coat up a specific way, not meeting him at the door soon enough, or being there too soon. There was no pleasing him. Money was always his concern, or so he said. I offered to go to work as a teacher, to ease the situation. This suggestion sent him into a rage, I wasn't expecting what came next. He struck me with all his strength. I found myself knocked into a wall, as I tried to get up he kicked me in the side causing my body to return to the floor. Shame and disbelief washed through my body, the anger and hurt came later.
"How dare you suggest I can not provide for my family" he screamed at me. He turned and stalked out of the house leaving me in a heap in the corner. I wanted to cry, but at the same time I couldn't. I couldn't understand what I'd done to deserve such violence.
This wasn't to be the last of his physical anger. I found myself in similar situations often. I finally found the strength to speak with my mother regarding the situation I had now found myself in. I showed her the dark marks blooming over my arms and stomach. She shook her head at me. "This isn't good, but this is the way life is. This is the bargain we all make. It's not so bad. You'll be fine." She smiled and ushered me out of the small room.
"Maybe you shouldn't do anything to anger him." She reasoned more with herself than me.
I couldn't fathom what ever I had done that could've angered him to begin with I told her that. She didn't care to hear it. To her I was airing dirty laundry, and my best bet was to keep mum.