Au: Just for a heads up- please read the story fully before judging it! Its for the greater good! Well, greater evil. Hn... Ok, new phrase, its for the greater good of yaoi!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO

Zetsu hummed happily, pulling a towel out of his drawer with a new change of clothes. The plant man set out the new outfit on his bed, keeping it straightend.

"There we go~" They hummed happily, making a quick handsign and placed their hands on the plant-like apendage, pulling it off of their shoulders and set it in the flower pot in his room. Zetsu hummed and draped the towel around the back of his neck, walking out to the small bathing house in the base. Itachi walked past the plant man as he headed to the bathing house, looking back and watched the toned plant mans ass sway back and forth.

'Hot damn that's an awesome ass!' Itachi blushed at his own thoughts, continuing on his way to his room. 'I'm all uke but damn~ That kind of ass just makes me want to pounce on him! Kami! And its not just his ass either~~~' Itachi smiled slightly pervertedly, making an abrupt U-turn to follow the plant man.

Zetsu hummed happily and got to the bathing house, stripping off his shirt, pants and boxers before slipping into the steaming water. Itachi peeked in as slyly as he could, watching as Zetsu slipped into the water and drooled.

'There's that hot ass again...Calm down Itachi this cloak isn't big enough to hide a problem...' Itachi blushed and watched the plant man closely.

Zetsu sighed happily, purring. "This is nice Su~ No annoying Tobi to bother us, no Sir Leader giving us orders, just some time to relax and soak~~~" The darker half of the two chuckled and hummed.

"Exactly~ But I do miss the sly glances at that Uchiha ass...Hot damn I-" He mumbled into the white hand, a blush gracing half their features.

"Jeez you pervert, Tobi is underage! And he is too nice to think about like that!" Zet growled, actually feeling a wave of disgust for his other half.

"Ew! Your pervert! I wasn't talking about that nitwit! I was talking about Itachi~" Su hissed out, making his white half blush even more and nod. "You and I agree~ That is one fine piece of meat~"

Itachi sat there and blushed darkly, shivering in delight. Damn. They really need to make these cloaks bigger in the crotch area. Now he was going to have an even harder time getting back to his room, no pun intended.

"Ya ya, but you know that Narutards around the world would never allow him to be with us of all people. There are plenty of other pairings they like him to be with. Well, yaoi wise. There are double the amount of straight pairings, and I'm not even getting into the OCs." Zet mumbled, splashing the water lightly.

Su huffed. "I agree. I'm just going to scan over all those skanks and whores and just going yaoi wise. I mean, Kakuzu and Itachi? Really? Deidara and Itachi? Hell, Naruto and Itachi? What do the fangirls see in those pairings?"

Zet laughed heartily. "Its a wonderful thing called bat shit crazy female hormones."

Su paled. "Then whats the cause of crack pairings?"

"PMS"

"...Kami save us all..."

"Agreed"

Itachi sweatdropped as the two continued to argue over the different pairings, taking time to admire and check out the plant man some more. Head first. Their hair was amazing. Just from the brief moments of contact he could feel that their hair was the softest he has ever felt, excuding his own. The green locks were always styled perfectly. As soon as Zetsu rolled out of bed he could look sexy as hell without even touching his hair.

Their face was the pinnacle of emotion. He could have a soft look, angry look, happy look, sad look, embarassed look or even a cannabalistic look just by his eyes. The two colors of his skin just made him even more interesting. The teeth were the one thing about him that sent shivers down Itachi's spine. But not in a bad way, infact just the site of those teeth and his own imagination at play he could just picture something wonderfully kinky.

Zetsu's shoulders just screamed man. They were muscular and tough, yet at the same time had a petite look. His arms were muscular and could easily lift him over his head with one hand. His chest was amazing. Not quite as buff and bulky as Kisame's, but damn Itachi just wanted to lick his pecs and abs, run his fingers over them, traveling further and further down...

'Calm down! Jeez!' Itachi snapped himself back to his slightly decent thoughts, blushing.

Anyways, his muscles were amazing~ And the way he wore his pants where just the beginning of his green wonderpatch was visible, and the daily bulge in his pants didn't leave much for the imagination. Itachi could only imagine the size of his cock. Would it be big? Would it seem like a monster? It had to be pretty big, or else he always carried a long banana in his pocket.

Moving on, his thighs and feet were usual, strong and muscular. His legs were surisingly lacking of hair. It was on that line of sexy but not too much hair look. Now, back to Itachi's favorite part, the plant man's ass.

Tough and firm, Zetsu's ass was something to be commended. His ass definately deserved a medal just for being the sexiest ass in the world. It was that perfect shape for a seme, full but not too big, slimming yet not small in the least bit. Itachi swore, if he could just have one squeeze he would bet there wouldn't be an ounce of fat. It would be rock solid muscle, but soft enough to actually be squeezed instead of harming the groper.

Itachi sighed and shut the door silently, making his way back to his room before anyone noticed his rapidly growing problem. Zetsu jumped slightly and turned toward the door, frowning.

"Whats wrong Zet?" Su whispered.

"...I just had the weirdest sense that someone was watching us...Oh well~"
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AU: ^/w\^ So~ Hopefully people will give the smexy Zetsu some love! Please!