I Hope You Dance, a scrubs fanfic

"I'd like to dedicate this to a special someone…

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'

Lovin' might be a mistake, but one worth makin'

Don't let some Hell-bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance

I hope that you dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)."

She stepped down from the podium (with her ex-fiancée's help) with a fleeting glance in my direction. A jolt of energy shot through my soul as she looked at me, but I just brushed it off to talk to her later. I knew that I would somehow.

Sure enough, I found her putting her lab coat back on when I knocked on her door.

"Hey, JD," her voice echoed through my malfunctioning brain. "This is a nice surprise, since none of our cases have been intermingled."

"I just wanted to make sure that you're okay," I responded stupidly. "You know, I haven't seen you in a while."

"Pretty much since we broke up. Yeah, there's a reason for that."

Duh! Just play it smooth. "You know that the only reason why we keep breaking up is because one of us gets scared and runs off."

"Do I need to remind you that you broke it off last time?"

"I did that because I was going away." She did have the upper hand in this argument. But I would fight valiant until the end. "But then I didn't, so we could go back together again." I sounded like I was on my knees begging to take her back.

"You're begging." She could see right through me. Let's see what other bitter words she will throw at me.

"Excellent point, but not the answer I was looking for."

"I wanted to leave Sacred Heart, but I couldn't refuse Chief of Medicine office. I also couldn't bear the thought of leaving you. But I broke up with you before I was offered the position."

"Did you take the position because of me?"

"Of course. I couldn't leave you. Besides, I have more authority here than I would have in LA."

"Very funny, but I don't think you have enough arguments to convince me. You should stop before you actually embarrass yourself. Wait a second, you already did."

"I'll leave now." I heard her response, but I didn't bother to answer it. Instead, I walked out of the office and into the hall where sick people could occupy my mind.

"You paged," she stated nonchalantly.

"Why are you quitting?" What is the point of small talk?

"You. And several other reasons," she said, packing her things away in a box.

"Stay. It's rude for someone to stay and then the person for whom they stayed leaves." It was the best argument I had.

"Now you are saying that I am rude. You also said I was a nice person."

"When?"

"Right. Well, I got a job in California. I leave this weekend and start late next week. I never wanted to stay here much after being an intern."

"Why did you?"

"I stayed because I wanted to marry you. You never proposed. I was always hanging on a thread, and I didn't know when it was going to break. So I took my life in my hands and cut the thread anyway. I can't just sit around here waiting for you."

"You think that I wasn't in the same position? You were always working, and when you weren't, you were dating Keith. When you let him go, I thought that I finally had a chance. But you were too busy being my opponent; being the big star. You were too busy to see that every chance I got, I wanted to be with you. You ran away saying you had to check up on a patient or you had a date when you just wanted to go home and cry that you weren't with me. You pushed me away, and I had to put up a front just so that I could see your face without wanting to let go ten years of jealousy." I didn't want to hear or see her reproach, so I walked out, knowing nothing had been achieved. A sniff from made me regret my feelings, but I couldn't back out now.

"J.D.?" Elliot' voice broke. She would be sincere. "Don't let anything stand in the way of your dreams. You deserve so much more than you are receiving. Take life's opportunities; they can lead you amazing places. I know that an opportunity was given to me, and I got to meet you. Don't underestimate people, and don't judge them without knowing them. Good bye."

I couldn't face those words. I never have been able to. Walking out, I didn't take a last look at her. I didn't need to: My dream girl's face would remain in my head forever.

But that wasn't the end of her. She walked up to me and kissed me. It was the best experience of my life, but I couldn't bear the fact that she was not giving up. She politely smiled at the staring nurses and doctors and drug me into the office.

"That's the first time I haven't been able to say good bye. I just can't with you. There's something else."

"You're pregnant?"

"You read my mind. But I gave it away."

"Teen pregnancy?"

"Just recently. Before I did though, I wanted to know who the father was. I almost didn't want to go through with it. My parents never believed in it, and I don't. But I couldn't even stand being so big and trying to take care of others. I would have to nurture myself to make sure that it lived, but I couldn't." Her difficulty with words was not just because of tears. It was like going to confession and you're a good kid, but you just did so much wrong for many reasons. "You were the father."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You would have tried to stop me. We would have gotten together again. We wouldn't be able to take care of it, even together…"

"I thought you said you were waiting for me to come to you."

"I was. But not at that point in my life. I was scared, I didn't want to talk to anybody, I didn't want to work, and I didn't want to sleep. I was frightened of what you would say if I told you. I was worried what everyone else would think. I couldn't turn to anybody but my shrink. He helped me through it. He helped me make the decision without saying what his opinion was. Well, he said what he would recommend and what would happen if I did this one or that one. I didn't bother telling my mother because she would be judgmental of how I irresponsibly got pregnant outside of a marriage."

"People are probably listening in." I didn't mean to interrupt her, but I figured that she didn't want people gossiping.

"That's why I wanted to move away." So she didn't care. "It wasn't that I was waiting for you; it was that I didn't want people to get ideas here. Carla helped me when I told her that I wanted an abortion. I feel so terrible at that murder, but I had to do it so I could start over without you in my life. The baby would just remind me of you, and I would want to move back here and marry you."

"Do you want to get married?" I had no idea what I was doing or what I was getting into.

"What?"

"You heard what I said."

"Say it again."

"Do you want to get married?"

She wound around the desk so she could sit down. "Yes."

"I, uh, don't have a ring."

"That's alright. I promise that next time I won't give away the baby and you'll be the first to know."

I heard (she most likely did, too) ahhs from outside the door, but Elliot said this, "I hope you dance when you get the choice."

"I can be mean and lose my job so I can go with you."

"I'm staying."

"Then there's nothing wrong with them knowing. Is that a big enough dance?"

"For now."