"Hey. Whoa. Where you going, dude?"
Sam made to ignore the question, pulling open the door, but Dean's booted footsteps on the stairs caused him to hesitate.
"Sammy?" Dean asked, an undertone of concern in his voice. "It's past midnight. All good little brothers should be tucked up in bed, not heading out into the dark."
When Dean's hand gripped his upper arm, Sam turned towards him, and Dean cringed at the pain in the hazel eyes, puffed up by crying.
"Sam, hey. What's wrong?" he said gently.
:
Sam lowered his gaze to the floor. "I'm fine Dean. It's nothing. I...just need some fresh air."
"Oh, no!" Dean parried. "You're not going anywhere in this state. My Baby won't stand a chance with you drivin' her. "
"If you're so worried, I'll just walk, man. Doesn't matter. I just need to get out of here."
But Dean was having none of it. When his little brother was upset, he tended to curl in on himself and his alertness level to danger was lowered to near zero.
"Fine. I'm coming with."
But Sam shrugged off his brother's hold. "I'm not a kid, Dean. I don't need a nanny to look out for me."
"Listen up, bitch, " Dean responded calmly, before letting go of Sam's arm.
"I said I'm coming with you and whatever the fuck is going through that big brain of yours, I want in on it. There are too many fuglies out there gunning for us and I'm not gonna hang out in here while you wander around the countryside with an "I'm Sam Winchester. Come and get me' sign on your back."
:
Dean was expecting Sam to react in anger at his words, but his little brother merely hung his head even lower and gave a quick nod.
"Good, that's settled then."
The older man ran down the steps, grabbed his coat and ushered his brother out through the door and into the car.
She might not offer the protection of the bunker, but the Impala was warded against most evils; way better than stumbling along a country road in the middle of the night.
Switching the radio to a station playing low, easy-listen music, he waited. Sooner or later, Sam would talk. That, or fall asleep, either would do just fine, though Dean hoped the latter would happen.
He didn't know if he was up to adding Sam's emotions to his own right now. He fully understood Sam's need to get away from it all for a while.
If he'd been a different kind of man and not Dean Winchester who pushed everything down into the little black box in his mind and tried to ignore it, he'd probably want to rush off into the anonymous night just as Sam did.
But his job was looking out for his baby brother, and that's what he'd do until the last breath left his body.
:
True to form, Sam began to spill.
"I don't know if I can go on, Dean," Sam said eventually. "I think I'm done. This thing with mom, it's the last straw."
Dean knew well what he was referring to, but until now, Sam had always preached understanding, patience, that Mary Winchester needed time to assimilate her new life here in the future where her sons were grown men and hardened hunters,
"Yeah, " Dean heard himself agreeing. "We didn't need more emotional crap in our lives. We already had daddy issues, guess we weren't gonna be spared mommy ones too."
"I thought she just needed time to adjust, you know, but sometimes it seems she doesn't really care about us, not as a mom should, " Sam continued, eyes welling up again. "It's as if she's slowly getting to be like Samuel, our grandfather; back from the dead but not giving a shit about either of us..."
:
Dean could feel his own hands shaking at Sam's words and he drew the Impala into the side of the deserted road.
"I was thinking the same thing," he said unexpectedly causing Sam's head to jerk up, eyes like saucers, staring at him.
"She was fine just after Amara brought her back, but she's gradually been getting colder and colder towards us, and now she's left her own sons to go with the BMOL. Something's wrong man. I never thought I'd say this but Dad was an awesome parent compared to her. However strictly he brought us up, I never once doubted he loved us..."
"You remember what the cupid told us way back, that mom and dad only met and married because you and I had to be born as vessels for Michael and Lucifer?" Sam asked.
Dean nodded.
"Could be mom would never have married otherwise, or at least to someone other than dad. Maybe she senses that, maybe Samuel did too."
"Yeah, but at the end of the day she's our mom; we're her kids. She's gotta feel that tie to us."
:
Sam shrugged. "I don't have the answers, all I know is there's no-one who cares for us out there any more The ones who did, Dad, Bobby, Pastor Jim, Caleb, Ellen Jo, they're all dead.."
"Hey," Dean growled. "We've still got each other and that's ALL that matters. We've never really needed anyone else. And however this situation with mom turns out, that'll never change."
"Everyone abandons us, Dean, " Sam was agitated now. "It's as if we've got the plague. Even Cas, though he still hangs around, would take off in a minute if he though he could be useful to the cause of heaven, he's unpredictable when it comes right down to it."
"Yeah, " Dean agreed. "He tends to fuck things up. Without us around, Cas would have been bye-bye long ago. But that's what I'm saying, man. It's just you and me, always has been, always will be. I'll even say the words if you really want me to..."
Feeling Sam's misty gaze on him, Dean sighed and continued. "I'm never gonna leave you, Sammy, never. Wherever you go I'll follow. If you can't be sure of anything else, you can be sure of that."
"Thanks, Dean, " Sam whispered. "I know in the past I've tried to run from hunting, from dad, even from you 'cos, you were all one with a life I never wanted for myself, but there are no shades on my eyes now. There's nowhere else I want to be .
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Dean, and nowhere I'd go without you.
But it's been so hard these past months... so much bigger than two guys from Kansas...God, his sister, Lucifer, now mom acting like she doesn't give a damn about her own kids. I don't know how much more I can take."
:
So saying, Sam shoved open the door and got out. He leaned back against the car and breathed in the cool night air, feeling the welcome chill invade his body.
Even with Dean's encouraging words, the melancholy hadn't disappeared.
He'd been so happy to see Mary, talk with her, touch her, been given the chance to frequent his mom, but he didn't know if he could take her rejection, if it ever came to that.
Would she turn on them as her father had? And would it ever come to the point where one of them was forced to take her out, just like he'd killed Samuel.
:
By this time Dean had come to stand beside his brother, shoulder brushing Sam's.
"You remember what happened to Samuel? " Sam asked, putting his nightmarish thoughts into words.
"Yeah, " Dean replied gravely. "But it's never gonna come to that. She's our mom. She wouldn't try to harm either of us."
Sam gave an unhappy huff. "When have either of us ever been spared, Dean? We've had to deal with so much heartache, that by this time we should both be in an asylum, just like Martin was."
:
Dean remained silent. Sam had always been, and would always be, the most important being in the universe, his Holy Grail, and anyone who tried to hurt him, however dear, would always come second, even Mary Winchester.
Under the dome of stars, the two men threw out a challenge to the universe.
Take us if you can, but beware of trying to separate us, for we are One and the One may triumph against the many.
:
The end