I AM Ranma Saotome
Summary: Late at night, a monastery high in the Chinese mountains receives a visitor. The visitor clearly scared of someone or something seeks shelter and receives it. They offer him a shower, clothes, food and a place to stay the night; in return, all they ask him is to tell his story. And so the young man begins telling how it all began with him losing his strength...again
Disclaimer: Rumiko Rules and besides that owns Ranma 1/2
Notes: Title has changed. This is a story about how Ranma realises that his greatest strength might not be all those techniques, or all that Ki he has, or all that strength
At times you'll notice things Ranma is telling which have not happened in the Manga (like him going to university), don't worry, Ranma is a bit older and stuff of course keep happening.
No crossovers by the way.
Prologue: Refuge.
A loud rapid knocking on a big wooden door was heard though the whole monastery. Someone apparently was in a real hurry to enter.
"Hold your horses, I'm coming already." The monk's voice was kind of grumpy.
Again the night-time visitor knocked hard on the door, louder then before. The monk decided to run. Apparently the visitor who apparently had no problem with visiting on ungodly hours, was planning to just plain crush the door if he wasn't let in quickly
"Stop slamming the door already, I'm coming."
The monk made it to the door, unlocked it and opened the door. Behind it stood a youth with black long hair, tied in a pigtail, reaching well across his back. His features were sharp, defined and probably, by female standards pretty and handsome. He had to be around twenty or something.
His eyes were those of a hunted worried man. While studying him, the boy constantly looked over his back, probably wary about someone following him. Not wanting to make the lad any more nervous, the monk opened the door all the way, and made him welcome to enter.
The youth all too readily entered the building, helping the monk to close the door, and for good measure decided to keep it closed by forcefully leaning against it, while laying his ear on the door.
The monk, not really knowing what to do, put his hands in his sleeves, and watched the nervous youth keeping the already locked door closed, and listening attentively to what might be outside. Eventually, he decided he probably was safe, gave a big sigh and pushed himself from the door.
"Please you gotta let me hide here for a while. I don't know what they'll do" he had visibly calmed down now, but was still casting wary glances towards the door, and his voice sounded like death was on his tail. The monk idly wondered who could scare a boy like that, who didn't really seem to have any problem knocking the door down if he wanted.
"What got you so scared boy?" he really didn't want to upset this boy any more then necessary. He tried to sound as reproachful and warm as possible.
The boy continued to calm down, taking deep breaths, nevertheless still shooting guarded glances at the door. Eventually, he turned to the monk, his face suddenly full of confusion and a bit of embarrassment.
The boy scratched the back of his head, making his pigtail wiggle"well, eh... It's kinda a ehm… a hard-luck story. Don't really know where to begin." He really did not know where to begin. He was stuttering all the way looking for words. Whatever it was, it got the boy upset.
"Well, before anything, you really are in need of a bath and some clean clothes" the monk eyed the boy's clothes, or more appropriately, rags with a frown, and sniffed loudly
"What? I don't smell I took a bath just…" his heated voice trailed of as he looked at his state. He again looked up at the monk, somehow, now stubborn. Who was this guy? He could've sworn a second ago the boy's life was on a thin thread. But now his eyes seemed to have focussed, and from being nervous and wary, they changed to piercing and offended.
"Well… Maybe ya're right. Maybe a bath will do me good. I've been about for a coupl'a hours anyway. Show me the way old man." Old man? Now he suddenly found the nerve to call him old man? He suddenly very much felt like hitting that grin of his face. Or maybe remind him that he was scared witless just a minute ago.
Knowing that he'll probably get scolded for doing that, he decided against it.
"Come along then" and the boy followed with a certain stride, as if the world belonged to him. The monk once again wondered how one could go from shaking knees to the complete relaxed and arrogant state the boy was in now.
"Just one more question"
"Shoot"
"What's your name?" he looked sideways at his guests, and saw him grinning.
"The name's Ranma, Saotome Ranma"
The monk nodded, and turned around to walk on. Saotome Ranma seemed a perfect name for one so conceited as him, he thought with a sight.
"What, you don't know me?" the monk turned around, looking at a perturbed boy, who somehow appeared ready to throw a tantrum.
"I don't think I'm familiar with that name" when the monk saw the downcast look on his face and the way his arms suddenly hang limp besides him, he decided to have some pity. "But... well, you know. We've got about one visitor a year; it shouldn't be that much of a surprise."
"but I… I won, and… How can you not… I mean…" How could someone get so worked over because someone didn't know him? The monk really was starting to get fed up with the cocky kid. Here he came, in the middle of the bloody night barging in, almost knocking the door out of its hinges, scared like a cat, then the next moment he was all confidence and arrogance, getting all worked over because he didn't know his name.
"Like I said, we have no contact with the outside world besides the food deliverer who comes once every two weeks. And we don't talk too much with him. He has your problem"
This seemed to confuse him. "What? He also has a curse?"
"Curse? Well… if one could call bodily odour a curse, then yes, he has one" the boy blew out breath he probably didn't realise he was holding.
"Maybe the head monk might know you, he knows more about what occurs around here. But I warn you, he only knows about things that matter." Somehow, the monk really doubted his kid mattered anyway. Then again, there were some really egotistical kings around here who actually were important
"Don't worry then… He'll know me" The monk glanced at him, and again saw that self-assured smile. Well, no one could blame this boy for having a self-esteem problem.
They walked through the long halls of the temple, silently. It occurred to him that apparently the boy was not in the least impressed with the many works of arts made by the brothers of the monastery, or the beautifully crafted furniture. He just looked ahead, barely containing excitement or something alike. It was as if was holding down a lock or something that when sprung would launch him in the air.
"You like the many paintings, our brothers made?" He knew he wasn't supposed to fish for compliments, or enquire about something like this; after all, pride was good, but in moderation.
He looked sideways, giving every painting no more then a glance.
"Pretty nice, but I've seen monastery's with lots better. This's just all landscape and stuff. I mean, look outside and you can see a landscape. Now a painting showing two Real martial artists caught in mid action. That's what I call art, especially when I'm one of them" He grinned at that last part. The monk could hear the capital in the word "real". He thought it safe to presume that this boy considered himself one of these Real martial artist.
"And you're a Real martial artist?"
"Bet ya I am" his eyes sparkled with fire. He was pretty adamant about the whole martial art stuff. The monk just sighed and continued leading the way.
"Well, here we are. The room has a bed, a bathroom with shower…" the monk observed the boys rags. His red long sleeved shirt might've been nice one, but now was torn, dirty and in fact hardly red anyway. His pants weren't much better. The black pants had several holes in them, and - as the shirt - were dirty beyond redemption.
"… You'll also find some spare clothes in the closet" the boy looked at him wonderingly.
"Ah, my clothes just need a good wash, and they're as good as new…" The monk gave Ranma a very neutral look.
"Sure they do. But better wear something else in the meantime."
"Sure thing. See ya in a minute." And with that he went inside with that relaxed stride of his.
Peculiar young man, arrogant beyond anything human, insufferable like nothing he had ever seen before, conceited, big-headed, stuck up… . Nevertheless, he somehow seemed very true and honest. He wasn't hiding anything, he was showing himself as he was, which, indeed, was downright cocky, but on the other hand quite relaxing, if one was able to overlook the overconfidence the boy seemed to posses.
Before going back he enjoyed the paintings some more. It was really a pity the boy didn't appreciate them. On the other hand, you could just look at landscapes, couldn't you? People move about and change constantly, landscape have the tendency not to decide one day to get up and leave, or start a fierce battle… still, the priest thought with a huff, the paintings were really nice.
"AAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhh.. COLD"
The monk turned perplexed to the door, sure that that scream was female. How did a female get in there? How did a female get in this monastery in the first place, and how would he explain the boy's presence in apparently her room?...
What? That female wasn't supposed to be there in the first place!
The monk pushed open the door, ready to drag the offending female out the room. The scene he beheld was that of a very pretty redheaded girl standing in the front of the shower and looking at it balefully. She turned and saw him standing in the doorway. Now the monk had a full frontal view of woman. She was… pretty, very pretty, and well endowed, very much so. She was also wearing, besides nothing resembling clothes, at the moment a scowl, an angry scowl.
"You could've said you guys don't have any warm water" she said heated, shaking the offending cold water from her hand.
"ehm" he said intelligently. Her breasts were bouncing up and down as she was shaking the water from her hand, probably more in frustration then to get it to dry. It was somehow hypnotic… certainly for a male who hadn't seen a female decently in ten years.
"I ehm… well, that is…" the monk's initial initiative to get the girl to the more female orientated chambers crumbled to dust. He remembered females from his youth, but didn't remember them like this. Long beautifully shaped legs, sleek and muscled but subtle. Her stomach was as her legs, lean and muscled, showing a delicate six pack. Above that were firm yet… the monk didn't continue. A certain female was redefining glares, angry glares to be more exact.
"OUT" the monk vaguely heard her saying something, probably quite loud and angry, but it didn't register. Such a young and freshly matured body. What was a celibate monk to do?
"OUT" again, there was that voice, and again he saw those lips moving. Then those lips were suddenly getting bigger… no wait, they were advancing, no… she was advancing, rapidly, and above all angrily.
"I said OUT" and with that, the monk was rather unceremoniously thrown out of the small room.
Out the room, with a behind that somehow hurt, the monk still looked out of it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard a girl screaming about how bloody cold the water was, how unfair it all was, and why should there be cold water here, why couldn't they have warm water, what was wrong with these people, and what was wrong with that letch monk type, but that was quite lost on the poor monk who only saw the image in front of him, which held little resemblance to what was actually in front of him, one of his beautiful paintings in fact.
"Are you alright brother?" the monk looked blankly at the newcomer, as if he didn't see him, which probably was true. He did see a person in front of him, but the newcomer probably would feel somewhat uncomfortable if he knew how the monk saw him.
"What's the matter brother? You seem puzzled" The monk just kept staring on, as if the other monk hadn't said a word.
"Aaaaaah. Bloody, don't these idiots ever heard of soap that doesn't skin ya while rubbin' it." The other monk gave the door an unscrupulousness look.
"Brother monk. I do think my ears deceive me. Is that a woman behind that door?" Still, the other monk didn't react.
The other monk slapped the monk a couple of times in the face. This seemed to do the trick.
"Nicely shaped, splendidly curved" But there were still some lingering thoughts.
"Brother monk, what is that woman doing there? You should know women aren't supposed to enter? Not in this part of the building anyway" the other monk really was upset by this all.
"Cold, the water is cold, so cold, why? I don't knooooow" both turned their heads at the singing voice of the girl who still apparently was bothered by the cold water.
"Well?" the monk had his arms crossed.
"You know, funny you should ask. You see, as far as I know, that woman didn't enter that room… well, not she anyway" the monk was all smiles and sweat, somehow hardly believing anything he said himself.
"Then how do you explain her presence there?"
"Strange isn't it?" the monk cocked his head, wondering.
"Yes, very strange. Although… you say she didn't enter, right?"
"Yes, I'm pretty sure SHE didn't enter" the monk was grinning now, still looking at the door.
"But someone else did? A man?" at that, the monk turned back, and instead of smiling gave the other monk a frightened look.
"Yes, a man entered, a very arrogant one, and then… she was a woman… Strange"
"CLOTHES? These ain't no bloody clothes. These are brown reeking blankets. Why did I come here again?"The muffled voice behind the door kept insisting on being frustrated, this time the clothes weren't to her liking.
The other monk smiled, and put his arm around the monk's shoulders.
"Have you heard about the Jusenkyo pools? No?" and with that the two went off, slowly strolling down the hall."Well then, let me tell you about them" and with that, another soul was enlightened into the magic of Jusenkyo.
Eventually, Ranma emerged from the room, dressed in clothes that certainly weren't meant to accentuate her more than pretty curves. One might even discuss if the term 'clothes' were appropriate for what Ranma recognized as potato sacks. At least, they smelled like that.
Ranma tugged at the white cord till it almost choked her, which was pretty tight, trying to make sure the brown rough potato-sack emphasized her body as best as it could. The way her ample firm bosom stood out made sure no one could miss her curves anyway.
She might be a boy, but in the past years she had come to understand that while she was a female, she actually was pretty, and somehow felt a need to make sure no one doubted that. Saotome Ranma was good at everything, and as of late, this included looking good, both as male as female, and let no one have any misgivings about that.
Still not very happy about the way the clothes made her look, but feeling that there was no other way, she advanced through the hall, muttering in herself where the bloody monk had run off to.
Eventually she reached a demure double wooden door with metal handles. Behind the door, she could hear soft murmurs of plenty of people. 'Probably all monks' thought Ranma, pulling both doors open.
The room behind the door was large, but not very high. Standing on her toes, Ranma could probably touch the ceiling. But then, looking at the odd fifty men sitting in the room, she was taller than most.
There was a long red carpet in the middle of the room, with at the end an elderly monk sitting on a low wooden box-like chair. The box was adorned with an ugly brown coloured carpet, probably to make it the monk more comfortable. The rest of the lot was sitting on a big light-brown carpet spread out on the right and left of the red carpet, and all were very intensely watching her.
"What, you sods never seen a woman before?" Ranma peered over the whole group of stunned monks, her fierce eyes scanning everyone. Apparently, everyone was or drooling, or starry eyed, or both. The only one seemingly unfazed by her presence was the monk sitting on the chair. "tss, band of perverts." Ranma then looked at the figure on the chair, observing him with her natural intense eyes.
" Anyway, I guess you're the boss her or something" and with that, Ranma walked over to the man on the chair, gracefully, with a genuine honest confidence. Her every step was observed by fifty pair of eyes, looking closely how her feet hardly seemed to touch the floor, but at the same time radiated easiness with her surroundings.
The man ahead was no different from the other monks in the room, except for the long grey beard he wore. He was wearing exactly the same brown bags, had exactly the same haircut, which was to say none – all were bald - and was sitting in precisely the same position, though he one a chest, the others were sitting on the floor.
Ranma stood in front of the man, her hands on her slender curved hips, one leg straight, the other bend. A poise of confidence
"Well now young woman. Aren't you brash?" The monk looked up at Ranma, peering through the thick bush of his eyebrows. Ranma swayed a little with her head to her right, letting her long thick red pigtail swing hypnotically before the monks. Closed her eyes, and still with her hands on her hips said "The name's Saotome Ranma" now she opened her eyes, and looked the monk straight in the eyes, her clear blue eyes intent on the monk. "And I'm a man"
This apparently made an impression on the priest. "Ah, perhaps Jusenkyo"
"Yep, Jusenkyo alright. A bitch really, but after a fashion, ya get used to it. Nothing I ain't able to handle anyway" that last part was said with a smirk.
Without being invited to, Ranma made herself comfortable on the carpet in front the monk. She mumbled something about how hard the carpet was, and that she could really use a cushion, and that this was no way to go about all this. The monk followed Ranma's moves with a smile.
"Well Ranma, since you are seated now, and comfortable I trust" Ranma snorted at this, but subtle. How uncomfortable the carpet may be, she was still in presence of a monk. Even she felt compelled to show some respect here. "Why don't you tell us about yourself, and why you are here?"
Ranma waggled a bit with her bum, trying to make herself comfortable. After a wile, she gave up, which enacted a sigh from the group behind her. 'Damn, the floor's concrete or something? Gonna have a flat bum after this'.
"ehm, well...My Chinese ain't what's supposed to be. Ya know, I've only been here a year and all. Insane language really" Ranma looked around curiously at the monks still entranced be her feminine presence. They didn't really seem to mind her Chinese. Most of their eyes were or on her bum, or her bosom as it is. "Perverts" she mumbled again.
"Your Chinese is, considering the time you had to learn it, very good indeed. Though it is no secret were you have learned most of it" a smile appeared on the priest's face.
"Sure is. Got some training, and what can I say? I'm good." Ranma's smirk widened considerable at this "Knows what's important, people understand me. Just don't ask me to read anything, or write. Don't know whit about that."
"I suspect indeed the Chinese villages have interesting versions of the Chinese language that I presume you indeed find very appropriate to use"
"What'dja mean?" Ranma looked nonplussed at the priest.
"Exactly" the priest smile widened even further, but Ranma wasn't happy with the monk's somewhat condescending behaviour.
"Make some sense old man" Ranma's eyes instantly seemed to flare up, almost only by sight threatening him.
"Only that your story will be very amusing indeed. It is a nice variation from the story tellers who make it their mission to only use the most decent and archaic words of the Chinese language. Still understandable, but hardly. You're spirited and confident manner of speech will certainly proof a pleasant variation from that" the priest said in a sort of soothing way, calming Ranma considerable. She didn't seem to get everything he said, but he wasn't, as far as she knew, insulting her.
"Well, okay then" Ranma scratched her hair, looking where to begin. Fifty pair of eyes followed the movement of her fingers scratching her head.
Ranma stopped scratching her head, and gave all the monks an angry glare. Her bright angry eyes scanned the room, but hardly any of the monks turned away. If she had removed her hand from her hair, she'd probably more success. The upward motion of her arm only made her bosom stand out even more. Once again she muttered a "pervert" under her breath.
"You have to forgive them. They haven't seen a woman in decennia. Some of them can't even remember ever having seen one. The fact that you're not just any woman, but quite endo..." The priest politely coughed in his hand "quite a pretty woman only makes it worse. Don't let it bother you"
Ranma looked at the priest warily. She couldn't actually see his eyes; they were hidden by the thick bush of his eyebrows. He might indeed be looking up at her, or just staring at the ground. But for all she knew he was looking straight ahead, which is exactly where her bosom was.
Looking at the priest, she loosened the white cord around her torso somewhat, making the brown sack sag a bit, obscuring her bosom a bit. There was still left little to the imagination, but she heard a collective disappointed sight behind her... again. The priest however didn't budge.
"We have eaten, and we were about to start our evening meditation. But somehow, I think we might enjoy your story more then meditation today. If you are comfortable, and are willing, we'd be very grateful to hear your story."
Ranma looked around once more, giving every leering monk one more angry glare, before settling herself firmly on the floor, feet crossed, and arms on her knees.
"Alright, might as well. But,all good you guys have eaten. But I'm starvin' here. could ya get me some food. Maybe?" as an afterthought Ranma added a careful "please". The monk nodded, and spoke to one of the monks on the front row. However, in midsentence, the head monk turned back to her. "You seem like a girl with a healthy appetite, am I not right?"
"I'm a guy, and yea, Lots of food is good."
And so, the order for 'much' food was issued. Ranma smiled heartily at the mention of much food. The monk who had to get the food looked disappointed, but left without complaining.
"Okaaay, where to start? I'm Saotome Ranma, Martial artist extraordinaire, and heir to the Saotome School of the anything goes school of Martial Arts. Besides some exceptions I'm probably the best practitioner of the anything goes school. I'm cursed at Jusenkyo, and I kinda change into a woman, good thing it's a pretty one. Got mom to thank for that hehe."
There was much murmuring behind her all apparently agreeing with that statement. Ranma this time choose to ignore it. "My pop's a panda. Got some friend who's a Pig, another who's a duck, a girl who's a... a, well, you know, those feline horrible little critters."
Ranma's reaction when trying to mentions cats wasn't lost on the monk.
"I studied at many schools, including Oizumi, Furinkan and dunno if I still am, but was a starting student at Nihon University. Not too fond of school, but hey, somehow the minute I arrive, school always start to get exciting. Shoulda seen Nihon before I entered, and now that I'm enrolled there" Ranma sniggered at that.
"Guess a whole lot followed me there. This crazy girl shampoo joined, and well, Ukyo and Akane of course also enrolled there. Luckily, Kuno warmed them all up for me. You see, this crazy twit knew that we'd attend Nihon University, and though the bugger had money enough to go to a much more expensive uni, he joined Nihon, just for us. Ain't that just sweet" Ranma ended with a grin.
"Us?" the monk was, understandably not really following it.
"Yeah, me an' Akane. Akane's my fiancée, as well as Ukyo, but he doesn't fancy Ukyo. Dunno why, she's cute in her own way, Anyway ..." The monk cleared his throat, interrupting Ranma.
"But, aren't you male?"
"Oh yea, but then you see, this idiot doesn't realise that. I've transformed more then once in front of his face. I bet an oxygen problem at birth or something. His brain doesn't make certain connections. Anyway, the twit thinks me and my female form are two different people. Sometimes good if ya need a thing. Easily manipulated that guy, and he's rich.
Met him at furinkan. At first, he was a real wanker about just everything, but he's not that bad anymore. He's still besotted by me female form, but he won't attack me male form on site anymore. Dunno what changed his mind. Guess it must've been his dad, who's by the way now on the board of Nihon. And is a story on itself."
"ehm..." The priest looked up at him, and though Ranma couldn't see his eyes, somehow, she knew he didn't really get much of his story.
"Right, we'll start from the start. For as long as I can remember, I've been on the road training Martial Arts. My dad was my trainer, and though not the most moral and sensible guy, I guess he ain't too shabby a trainer. Of course, me being so good, clever, gifted and all did help. If it's interesting, I can learn about anything" Ranma's lopsided grin and piercing eyes should convince anyone who doubted this, and not because they looked so menacing either.
"So we travelled from place to place, making sure that every moment of my life was training. Eating, walking, even at times sleeping was an opportunity to train me. Tough of course and completely daft on my dad's part, but it made me the best there is.
I wasn't always on the road of course. I went to plenty schools. Since we travelled from place to place, we couldn't stay in one place for too long. However, somehow he got it through his rather limited intellect that I probably do need some kind of education. I'd say that was a poor decision on his part, but hey, I met Ryoga and Ukyo, two good friends, that way, and some other crazy people. And I guess in some way, education does help." Ranma tried once again to make it himself a bit more comfortable, sitting with one leg bend horizontally the other vertically.
"Unfortunately, we do not own any luxurious."
"No problem. I can handle this" Ranma gave the monk one of his more confident smiles, ensuring the monk there was no problem.
"Anyway, so a combination of school and travelling, I spend so ten years, till I was fifteen, and my dad decided we had to go to China. Of course, the idiot didn't speak a word Chinese. It might have helped to try listen to the villagers once in a while. Me, now, I learned it through listening to those people and all. of course that nutjob I traveled with who insisted on speaking Chinese every bloody second of the day, also probably helped"
"Yes, I can understand the frustration that one might have when listening to one speaking a language one other does not comprehend. But in the end, I am sure this person has succeeded in learning you the language I presume?"
"aah, it wasn't anything bad." Then Ranma cocked her head somewhat, thinking about something. "Though I don't think she had any other motivation then to badmouth her entire village" Ranma began to snicker lightly. "Ya know, I think I know her entire village. And if I didn't know better I'd think they were all horrible immoral monsters. Except her mom and dad, apparently, they are saints."
"a problem of every time and culture it seems" The monk concluded.
"Anyway, back to the past, Them Chinese were really good with Martial arts, I really learned a lot the first 9 months I stayed in China. The last three were..." Ranma hesitated, scratched her head, looking for the right word.
"They also were educational I guess. We arrived after nine months at the Jusenkyo Training ground. Fabulous place with just one little detail. The smart man my dad was, didn't really listen to the guide, and kinda instantly began the training. I followed of course suit. Can't let me old man train on himself, ya know. So, both of us ignoring the fat man's warnings, started training, and before long, BANG, instant panda and girl. Then somehow I kicked in a friend and he changed into a pig."
"After I vented of some anger, even I can get mad once in a while, we continued our initial travels, towards the amazons. Got ourselves in some real trouble there." The monk chuckled knowingly at that.
"They are a stubborn lot, aren't they?"
"You've got no idea. As you said, as girl I kicked a girl of some log, and before I know it, got some crazy girl fully intent on killing me, after kissing me no less. How's that for crazy. Anyway, the three last months were not so bad, but different. Was a girl most of the time, got hunted, ate some hair growth stuff, found myself with the Dragon whisker" at this, many monks began to murmur at once, all very impressed with what she just said.
"Yea well, nothing but trouble that whisker. I still dunno if I got more hair then I actually had, or that i'll be bald before I hit fifty. Anyway, some other stuff happened, before I finally got myself back in Japan. We took some detours, at times to lose that Amazon, at other times to train. Jusenkyo wasn't the last one on our list, and such a detail as a maniac behind us, and a curse wasn't enough to change our plans. So after all temples training grounds and whatnot were visited, we made our way back to Japan, swimming of course."
"Wait a minute; you swam from China to Japan?" Ranma pushed her chest forward, smiled confidently, and closed her eyes swelling with pride before continuing.
"Sure we did, and from Japan to China as well. You know, it's not as hard as it looks, and beats travelling by boat or plane in price. Anyway, my dad's obsession with "every bloody little thing is training" didn't mention it being cheap, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't for swimming lessons that we did that." Ranma couldn't see the monk's eyes, but he just could sense him wondering about his dad. Everyone seemed to do when he told his tale.
"So we eventually got ourselves back in Japan. It was pretty neat to be back, to be able to understand people once a while. Anyway, my dad was pretty adamant then to go this old friend of his. I didn't really know what he was up to; I mean we didn't really visit any other friends of his before, not many anyway. We took the high road to Tokyo, staying here and there, training everywhere we could, to eventually arrive in Nerima, Tokyo."
Ranma took a deep breath before continuing.
"That was a big turning point in my live. Suddenly, I found myself engaged to this jock Akane Tendo. Pretty cool chick, if she ain't actively trying to bash my head into the street. At first, she and I were at each other's throats every chance we got. I mean, my dad out of the bleu mentions I'm engaged to one of these three Tendo daughters, and the one I find myself engaged to, is one who seems to kick and hit for the fun of it. Hot-headed temper, really uncute when she's working at it. Anyway, that was at first, later on, I guess we settled for a sort of peace, which meant as much that I got myself half as much malleted nowadays."
"You don't seem to mind her too much at the moment" The monk interrupted, smiling knowingly.
Ranma smiled genuinely at him. "Nah, I really don't mind her anymore. Even I get used to her mallet eventually. Besides, she's otherwise pretty cool lately. Guess she got used to my unique set of social skills"
"I'm sure she did"
"At any rate, I got myself engaged, all good and well, I'm only there a week, and this guy, Ryoga Hibiki shows up. Apparently, I – while trying to beat the living daylight out of my pops – kicked him into one of the ponds. Poor guy changes into a pig now. Tried to take vengeance by beating me, of course, that didn't work out, no one has beaten me, he ain't no exception. Mind ya, he came pretty close at times. It's really fun to have someone actively trying to defeat ya. Keeps the mind sharp, and the fighting spirit sharper. He's the guy who I met in one of the schools I visited in my younger days. Of course, like now, I was a couple of levels above him back then."
"Ahem" the monk interrupted subtly. "What?" Ranma asked not unkindly, looking at the monk curiously.
"Oh, yea, I'm getting off track. Well now, so enter Ryoga Hibiki. Still a rival, but still a good pal once in a while. Then came Shampoo the crazy Amazon. Intent on killing my female side, but of course, I was not always female."
"Let me guess, you somehow got around beating her also as male?" Ranma looked surprised at the monk.
"How did ya guess?" asked an incredulous Ranma.
"From what I've heard of your live, it seems that through all this Chaos, it does have a pattern." Ranma could only blink at that.
"You find a pattern in my life? Gotta tell me which then." Ranma leaned forward, now sitting on both her knees.
"well, that every formula resulting in the most possible chaos, will be the formula chosen. Compare it that funny law. Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, instead, everything that might set of total chaos, will happen" The monk chuckled lightly at his own demure joke.
Ranma however didn't find it so funny.
"Thanks for crushing hope in a normal life old man. All I bloody need."
"No need to feel insulted my tempered friend" the monk looked up at Ranma worriedly. Ranma however was already all smiles again.
"Hey no problem. That pattern I had figured out a long time ago. Anyway, where was I. Oh yea. Shampoo. Eventually though, I just revealed myself. Shocked she went back."
"She went back? Without killing or marrying you? That is the first time I have heard of such a thing" Ranma frowned a bit at him, she didn't fancy much being interrupted every second.
"She went back, but her grandma, a century old hag, didn't really agree with that. So she trained her... coincidentally at Jusenkyo. And what'dja know, she falls into the spring of drowned c... cough c-cats. And she came back again, as cat, intent on marrying me as well. So enters fiancée number two. And then we're not even talking about my problem with cats. She's pretty neat when she's not actively trying to get in my pants. Oh, and she's got a restaurant, selling fancy Chinese foodstuff."
"Before I forget, later a certain guy called Mousse showed up, this guy is hopelessly in love with Shampoo. she doesn't really return those feelings, but he tries nonetheless. I gotta respect the guy. He's willing to do everything for her, regardless of his own pride and self worth. Really driven, then again, pretty stupid to trade in pride for a girl. Can ya imagine? He'd without problems win an arranged fight just to go out with that girl. sheesh"
Ranma suddenly stopped, and looked around. All the monks reacted as one, and began looking at one another trying to look for what she was looking for. "Hey, what's keeping the cook? I'm hungry".
"As you asked, he has been instructed to make sure you have a decent amount of food. Hence it might take a while before he is finished." Ranma scratched the hairline on her forehead a bit, before once again continuing.
"alright then" Ranma thoughfully touched her chin with her finger "Who's next?" she suddenly snapped her fingers "Of course, enter Happosai, the eternal letch"
The monk gave signs of recognition, but Ranma pierced him with her eyes, daring him to interrupt her.
"Apparently the founder of the school, anything goes. He's an immoral letch, but he knows his martial art stuff, learned some good things from him, when fighting. Still, he's not worth the trouble. See him now and then, even helped me at times" Ranma looked at the Monk's scepticism.
"Yeah well, helping I guess when it could help himself somehow I guess."
"And then Enters Ukyo. Cute girl, cool to hang out with, but sometimes acts all weird with Ryoga and all. I never really understood. I guess she tried to pair up Akane and Ryoga, maybe hoping I'd be free and all. Dunno really, she doesn't seem the type. Anyway she also opened an own restaurant, Uchan's, cool place, best okonomiyaki place I know. Ya gotta visit some time."
Ranma scratched his head, trying to decide how to advance.
"Well, I stayed there in Nerima for a good while with Akane, and her two sisters, Nabiki and Kasimi, their dad, Soun Tendo and my dad Genma. Of course, also in Nerima were Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne, the old grandma of Shampoo, Ryoga, Ukyo and Happosai. Later on a certain Akari Unryu and Konatsu joined the chaos, poor buggers" Ranma smirked at that.
"A lot happened actually. I fought monsters in Ryugenzawa. I fought against and with kings and gods. I learned from the greatest martial artist, fought against them, and with them. Saved all my fiancées each three times or so, from demons, letches, cursed mosters and whatnot. Also saved my school from certain destruction once every four months or so, had to survive a ki leeching teacher who was obsessed with delinquent students, who was enrolled by the principal, who also has an obsession but with pineapples and Hawaii. Friends from the past I fought beside, and against. Rivals, martial arts seeking to proof themselves, even some guy who wanted to learn a technique from my dad no less. I fought oni's, small ones and big ones together with the walking death."
Ranma took a deep breath.
"If I were to tell all that, I'd be telling you stories for days"
"We have all the time of the world" However, Ranma apparently didn't agree with that. At the mentioning of time, she suddenly looked over her shoulder at the door.
She turned back to the monk, with a worried look on her face. "But I don't. However, you wanted to know how I got here?"
The monk nodded.
"Well, when the food's here, I'll start telling." Ranma declared with a grin. As if on queue, a man came in with four plates balanced on his arms, and a fifth one on his head. He really seemed in his element, but still Ranma said amateur under her breath.
All five plates were set in front of Ranma, and the monk who'd gotten them moved back to his place, but not before taking a good like at Ranma's bosom.
Ranma choose not to notice, and began lifting the covers from the plates. After looking at the first one, a sudden feeling of dread came over him, and she began lifting covers in rapid succession.
"What? No meat?"
The monk frowned a bit, which, with his big eyebrows was a pretty neat feat. "We're a monastery in the mountains, we live by certain principles, and of those is not to hurt any other living being"
"Still" Ranma mumbled. But Ranma didn't let the absence of meat disturb her meal, and in no time all five plates were empty.
"Eating fast like that is not very healthy" a dumbfounded monk noted.
Ranma had a big smile plastered over her face. "Need to eat fast, always have. Was nice, though I miss the meat."
Ranma set the plates aside, and looked the monk in the eyes. "so you want to know how I got here?"
The monk nodded.
"It's quite a long story, but a story where I probably have learned the most from."
" It all began on this sunny summer day. I was going to my new school for the third week, and felt quite relaxed not having to do literature, English and stuff like that..."
Last notes: I'm planning to update in large chunks, and I only write when I feel like writing. So it might take a while before a next chapter is posted.