Spiraling Descent Into Darkness Chapter 1: Spiraling Descent Into Darkness, a buffy: the vampire slayer fanfic

A/N: So… this is odd… But I'm sitting here, listening to me music on shuffle… And some Britney Spears pops up… So it got me thinking…. And this was the result.
Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the song. Characters are property of Joss or Mutant Enemy, or generally just someone that isn't me. And the song is "Toxic" by Britney Spears.
Rating: R, for a tiny bit of language and descriptions that I would never expose children to. ; )
Summary: A night in Buffy's life with Spike. Set sometime in season 6, once Buffy and Spike have started sleeping together, but before anything else big really happens, I guess. No other particular time setting than that. This just kind of popped into my head and developed as I went along.

"Spiraling Descent Into Darkness"

Buffy felt like the world was spinning around her. But that had become a normal feeling for her lately. Ever since her friends had… Well, it had become normal. The world just kept spinning at dizzying proportions that refused to release its hold over her. Instead the spinning just continued to pull her further and further into the void, down the tumultuous spiral that her life was becoming. The pain was overwhelming. And her friends only made it worse. She know they meant well, but having to constantly pretend that things were alright was wearing her down more and more each passing day. The only thing that seemed to make any kind of sense since her return was Spike. And she was worried she was ruining that. But she just couldn't help herself…

Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm fallin'

He was like a drug. It hadn't started out this way. But as her life seemed to close in on her, she let other things close in on her a well. She let the one stable part of her life left turn into… something. She wasn't sure what. The relationship she had with Spike seemed to be some kind of demon, like those she faced every night of her life, that was roaring its ugly head up every time she saw Spike now. Except this demon was different. Because she had no idea how to defeat it when it came from inside of herself rather than from the outside world.

There's no escape
I can't wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm lovin' it

Thoughts continued to race through her mind as Buffy unconsciously made her way to Spike's crypt. She didn't even bother to act surprised when she stopped only to realize she was standing in front of the door. With a sigh, she opened it and entered. She looked around, trying to find Spike. She couldn't sense his presence anywhere in the small building. Hesitantly, she took a step toward the ladder to the lower level. She wondered if he was sleeping. Just as she crept over to the edge of the opening, the door scraped open behind her, causing her to jump slightly as she spun around to face the intruder, only to find…. Spike. Of course.

Too high
Can't come down
Losing my head
Spinning 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now

It was his home after all. He cocked his head to the side as he shut the door behind him.

"Looking for me, slayer?" he smirked as he set a plastic bag down on the ground.

Buffy just stared at him, unmoving, unblinking. She could have passed for being just as dead as him if not for the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

Spike looked at her warily. "You alright, pet?" he asked as he took a step towards her. "Seem a little off…" his mind seemed to drift away as he reached her. She let her eyes travel up his chest to his eyes, but upon seeing the curious worry, the love that they held, she quickly lowered them. She didn't want him to see the haunted and empty look in her eyes. Though she knew he had seen it countless times before and hadn't missed it now. Instead, she let her eyes rest on his lips. Tentatively, she stood on her tiptoes, raising her arms to let them snake around his neck as she pressed her lips to his. Softly at first, but quickly becoming more demanding, more aggressive. He wrapped his arms around her waist and responded in kind.

With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic
And I love what you do
Don't you know that you're toxic

They moved the step or two back to the ladder and separated only to descend, attacking one another with a ferocity that would have frightened the gods as soon as their feet hit the ground. A shirt ripped. The sound of a zipper sliding open sliced through the air. Soon clothes and newly formed rags littered the ground. The only sounds left to be heard were groans, grunts, and growls with an occasional scream as the two supernatural beings slammed their bodies together over and over again with amazing force.

It's getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's cup
Slowly
It's taking over me

Buffy knew that she should return home. And not just for now, but permanently. But she didn't think she could do that, didn't think she could leave Spike behind her even if she wanted to. He had become a spiral all his own, apart from her already crazed world outside of his crypt. But here… At least here nothing seemed to matter. No longer did the worries of the Doublemeat, of slaying, of taking care of Dawn, of her friends, of life press down upon her, threatening to smother her and drain the life from her once more. Not that she was entirely sure she'd mind…

Too high
Can't come down
It's in the air
And it's all around
Can you feel me now

As she fell back into Spike's embrace, she began to nip his neck and feel his hands trail down her body once more. And she decided she never wanted to leave. They may have created some demented, violent world together, but it was a world all their own. Where neither of them had anything to do but please themselves and each other. And they did. They did those two things very well. Vaguely, a thought floated across Buffy's mind as Spike bit into her thigh and her hands twisted into the sheets beneath her: if Spike were to turn her, would they be able to sustain themselves on each other's blood for the rest of time? All thought left her however as she let out a piercing scream.

As she regained some sense of reality, her thoughts returned. She knew she shouldn't think such things, that thoughts like that were wrong on so many levels she didn't even want to consider it. She knew Spike was bad for her, knew what she was doing was terrible, knew that it was darkening her entire being and dragging her down to a pit of darkness that called to her like a siren. But as that darkness crept over her, she tossed those thoughts, possibly the only rational thoughts she had left, aside.

Don't you know that you're toxic

She let herself succumb to the feelings Spike elicited from her. Spike, the undead vampire, the evil and soulless creature, who was the only one who could make her feel alive. And he began to prove that to her once more with another groan. The slight sheen of sweat that now covered her body glistened in the candlelit room.

With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic

Sometimes, she considered going back to how things had been with Spike when she'd first returned. Not that she intended to stop doing the things they did now, but she considered talking again. Getting drunk and freeing kittens that he'd won. But that thought frightened her. Because then this may seem like a real relationship, not just fucking. And while both ends may be nice, she didn't want to risk having to let someone in, truly having to let someone in. And this served just as well anyway. True, she wasn't working her problems out, but ignoring them and making them disappear for a few, or several, hours could work just as well.

With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic

The candles had long since burnt out. Buffy didn't know when, but at some point during the night both she and Spike had become to spent to go on any longer and had passed out. She rolled him off of her, feeling the loss like a stab into her soul in more ways than one. It was as though he had become her security blanket, and she was almost afraid to do anything without him. With a silent sigh, she got up from the bed to light and candle and then began to find her clothes. She didn't even bat an eyelash when she saw her shredded shirt. Instead she found Spike's, only to find it equally as tattered as her own. With a roll of her eyes, she threw it down and searched for his red button-up instead. She felt a mild surprise as she slipped it on and realized it was silk. But instead of pondering over that fact or wondering why she'd never noticed before, she pulled on her boots and quickly ascended the ladder before leaving the crypt as quietly as she could. Blinking her eyes even in the faint glow of the pre-dawn light, she looked at herself. She felt assured that she would rouse no suspicion for the time being as the long sleeves and jeans covered any bruises and bite marks she had gained the past night. She wondered how Spike looked. She had noticed the long scratches down his back as she'd dressed as well as a few bite marks of his own. Chewing her lip softly, she attempted to empty her mind and hurry home to sneak in her window before anyone else awoke.

Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now

Spike lay staring at the ceiling as he felt the Slayer's presence fade away as she walked off through the cemetery, thinking of all the shirts he'd lost to that girl. It was exactly why he'd been shopping before she came over. His thoughts soon turned elsewhere though.

She hadn't even said a word tonight. He wondered if things were going too far, but as sleep began to pull him into its deep abyss, he decided he'd care later. Maybe when he grew some balls and stopped being love's bitch long enough to put an end to this or try to make this at least a healthy relationship, if you could even call it a relationship. As if that would ever happen though…

--END--

A/N: Turned out much darker than I anticipated, but not sure what else I really expected from this kind of fic. So please, tell me what you think! I'd love to know. Also, I'm thinking I'll do a companion piece from Spike's POV during the night once I find the right song. No guarantees, though! Yet I do have a couple songs in mind… ; )