Disclaimer: Don't own Orange is the New Black or any of the characters, save for the ones that I made up.

AN: Well... I am completely disappointed with season 3. Piper in particular. I am confused as to why the writers thought it was such a good idea to make her such a manipulative bitch. I find myself liking her less and less every season. I had this idea in my head for some reason after watching season 3 and decided I needed to get it out (after months of writers block). It takes place roughly one and a half years after the season 3 finale. Both Piper and Alex are out of prison. Flashbacks are in italics and will explain more of what happened between Alex and Piper in between the season 3 finale and the present time. This story is going to focus more on Piper than Alex and how she adapts to life outside of prison but will definitely focus on their relationship. It might get kind of dark at times. Piper's personality will be a continuation of how she was in season 3 at first but don't worry the old Piper will be back. I have the entire story outlined but I can't promise I will be able to update as frequently as I would like due to the fact that I am very busy with work right now. The first few chapters will be about Alex and Piper separately but don't worry they will meet again soon! POV will alternate between Piper and Alex. Hope everyone enjoys. Let me know if you think it's worth continuing!

PIPER POV

Your heart sinks when you see the brunette standing across the room from you.

Darkness hangs under her eyes. And it's hard not to notice the bandage on her arm.

Her darks eyes look empty, any sign of emotion void from inside of them.

You recognize this look. It's what you see whenever you look in the mirror.

"Alex…" you draw out slowly once you reach the broken brunette. "W-what happened?" you breathe out.

When she doesn't respond, you feel the lump inside of your throat swell.

You have fucked up bad.

"Alex please?" you plead desperately.

"That guard… he shot me, beat the shit out of me too," she responds idly, eyes turning to dark slits of ice.

You don't know what to say.

You feel like you're suffocating, like you can't breathe.

"I wasn't being paranoid for nothing," Alex breaks the uncomfortable silence. "Kubra hired him to kill me."

"B-but h-how?" You finally find your voice, which is barely inaudible, consumed by a mix of shock and fear.

"How am I still alive?"

You nod slowly.

"Lolly saved my life," she shrugs without fail. "She heard my scream and attacked the guy as he was about to shoot me, which sent the bullet into my arm…"

"Oh Alex…" You sigh heavily, resisting the urge to fall apart completely. How the hell could Alex be the strong one when she'd just been shot? You reach forward and encircle your arms around the brunette, reveling in the familiar warmth. How the hell had you ever been so stupid as to think that maybe Alex wasn't the one for you after all?

"Don't…" Alex pushes away from your embrace, putting her hand up in between your two bodies. "I don't need you to come running back to me when shit gets real."

"I just…"

"What about your girlfriend?" she hisses with a hard expression. "Stay the fuck away from me."

"Stella?" You raise an eyebrow. "She's not my girlfriend… and she's in max security."

You let out a small smile. Where she deserves to be.

"Max security?" It's Alex's turn to raise an eyebrow. "So much for getting out in two days…" You can tell she doesn't want to show any interest but she'd be lying if she said she wasn't curious to know why Stella was in max security. "What happened?"

"She told me to trust no bitch," You smirk, lifting your arm and showing Alex a glimpse of the painful looking tattoo on your forearm that reads out 'trust no bitch' in white letters. "Little did she know, I would be one of those bitches," You smirk coldly, aware of the malicious glint shining in your eyes.

"I don't understand…"

"You were right, Alex." You lament with a shrug. "I should have listened to you."

"I'm not following…"

"I'm a horrible person," you clarify. You really are a horrible person, looking back on all of this. "You were right. Her only intention was to fuck me over. And I was the stupid, naïve asshole that fell for it. Because, I'm a horrible person."

Alex's look twists to one of confusion as she stares hardly at you, arms folded over her chest.

"So, I pulled some strings and hid a shitload of contraband in her bunk," you shrug with a small smile. "Karma's a bitch, ain't it?" You look to Alex expectantly, as if you are expecting the brunette to be proud of you for being a manipulative bitch. Her being proud of you is better than her hating you, right?

Alex finally speaks. "So fucking her over makes you even? You see Piper, this is exactly what I was talking about when I told you that I didn't like the person you're becoming."

That hurts.

"Alex… I don't…" Why are you always at such a loss for words when it comes to the woman before you?

"I've already told you this once, and I'll say it again. You're a manipulative cunt."

You feel your heart plunge as the words leave her mouth. This time they don't seem so sexy coming from the brunette. They aren't meant to fuel the fire this time.

"Maybe, I should go," you whisper brokenly. You really do feel like a manipulative cunt. Alex is the one who almost died, yet here you are, being the selfish one.

"Wait."

You turn around. A shred of hope develops as she speaks the word.

"Before you go, can I ask you something?"

You swallow the lump that gathers in your throat and nod slowly, folding your arms across your chest and the expression in your blue orbs softening.

Staring back at you are stormy dark green orbs. At least there is some emotion in her eyes now. Anger is an emotion after all.

"Did you fuck her?"

"No." You answer confidently as if you are holding onto the stretched fabric that remains of your relationship. "We kissed, that's it."

"Did you kiss her before or after I broke up with you?" Alex questions. She gives you a look as if to say, 'I shouldn't have to question our relationship, yet here I am'.

The words ring out a cold, harsh reality. Of course in all of this, you've almost forgotten that you did cheat on Alex. You kissed Stella before Alex had ended things with you.

You are a cheater. The one thing you promised yourself you'd never become.

Not after witnessing your father's infidelities. Not after seeing the pain in your mother's eyes.

You are a horrible person. You've committed the worst sin. And you have hurt the one person that you love the most.

How can you even live with yourself right now?

You breathe out a heavy sigh. You could lie and tell Alex that it happened after, or you could tell the truth. It's easier to lie and not have to bear the weight of knowing that you will completely break Alex if you tell the truth.

But for once, you want to do the right thing. Even if the right thing is painful for you to admit. Even if it shatters the world of the woman standing before you.

"Both," you answer quietly, closing your eyes momentarily. You wish you could escape right now. You've never felt so small before. You know that you deserve to be slapped right now.

"Fuck," Alex mutters, raising an eyebrow in amusement. "I underestimated you Pipes. Never would have pegged you as a cheater."

She can't possibly be okay with this?

"Alex. How can you be so cool about this?"

"I'm not cool about this Piper. Don't let me fool you," Alex responds, emerald eyes suddenly darkening as the pain of your sins hit her like a wave. "I trusted you. I thought things were going to be different this time. I apparently expected too much of you."

You hang your head in shame. You have let her down… again.

"Alex I'm so sorry."

"Are you really Pipes?" She questions, eyebrow arched. "Because, I don't think this version of you is capable of feeling those kinds of emotions.

"Alex that's not fair."

"Not fair?" Alex chuckles bitterly, rolling her eyes in disgust at you. "No Piper, you cheating on me is not fair, you're just too self-centered to see it!"

You were too self-centered to see it at the time.

Right now, you would give anything to take that moment back, and all of the moments after that.

Silence consumes you and your ex-lover. Her eyes bore into yours; wrapped in a coldness that screams pure distaste for the careless actions of your doing.

"Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?"

Of course, she was enough for you. Alex Vause was always enough for you. In fact she was more. You never deserved to be loved by someone like Alex Vause.

"I… I don't know."

"Bullshit…" escapes the soft pillows of her lips. You almost forget. She knows you.

"Fine," Your expression flashes to one that resonates anger. "Since we're just throwing everything out on the table, I guess the truth can't hurt… You were acting so indifferent lately because you were so wrapped up in the fact that you thought Kubra sent someone to spy on you. And I was feeling…"

"Lonely?"

"Yeah." You swallow slowly, guilt instantly consuming you. How could you have been so insensitive?

"Of course… That's so like you Piper. You just couldn't stand the thought of being alone, could you?"

"Well, Stella was at least paying attention to me. My own girlfriend didn't even seem to care about what was going on with me."

"Well, I guess you got what you wanted then," Alex answers simply, coldly.

"No I didn't."

Alex sharply raises an eyebrow.

"When I kissed Stella, I knew she wasn't the one."

"Oh yeah. How'd you know that?" Alex feigns interest.

"Because she wasn't you."

The minute your lips collided with Stella's you knew that she wasn't your soulmate. No, she was just simply a footnote, like Larry and all the others before her, in the greatest love story to ever be told.

"Piper you can't…" Alex puts up her resolve again. "You can't say those things to me now. Not after everything that you've done. I know I've done some fucked up things but I've never cheated on you, ever!"

"Haven't you ever kissed someone and had it mean completely nothing to you?"

"Of course I have." Alex nods her head in agreement. "But if it didn't mean anything to you, you wouldn't have continued doing it!"

"I felt you slipping away from me Alex. And there was nothing that I could do about it! It was just easier to try and fill the empty void in my heart with the affection of someone else."

After you say that, you realize how stupid it sounds, and mentally kick yourself.

"Oh, it was easier? Easier that coming to me, your girlfriend at the time, and telling me how you were feeling?" Alex yells, fire flaring inside of her. "That's really fucked up Pipes!"

"You wouldn't have understood Alex! You were so wrapped up with the whole Kubra out to kill you thing!"

"And when people love each other, they stick by one another's side," Alex points out bitterly. "I had every right to be paranoid," she points towards her shoulder with a hiss. "But, you were just off being typical selfish Piper!"

Tears are brimming in both of your eyes now as you stand coldly across from one another, blue eyes meeting green with the harshest of looks.

"You're right Alex," You admit, finally breaking the silence. "I was being selfish, like always. And now, I have to live with the fact that I just ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me because of my own weakness."

"I'm not falling for your stupid speech this time," Alex shakes her head violently. "I've bought it twice already. You broke my fucking heart when you left me in Paris all of those years ago but I never got over you and when we met again in this hell-hole, I gave in to you when you came running to me with your desires. And I was so fucking stupid for falling into your trap. When Larry chose Polly over you, I was there yet again to pick up the fucking pieces. And now… you expect me to be there again. No, I'm fucking done," Alex shakes her head, allowing the tears to fall from her eyes and weaken her resolve. "I will not be there for you this time. I will not allow you to stomp on my fucking heart again because you are too afraid of being alone. And I will not allow myself to feel that way about you again. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it and you need to live with the decision that you've made. I'm done being your doormat."

"Al…" You don't know what to say. For once, you are completely speechless.

You look deeply into her eyes and you know that this time Alex isn't coming back.

You've lost her.

"People who love each other aren't supposed to hurt each other like we do," she responds as calmly as she can muster. This is just as hard for her as it is for you. You know that.

"But…" You can barely keep yourself together as you feel the one person that you can't live without slipping away from you. "We were supposed to be Alex and Piper, the prison's greatest love story."

"Sometimes even the greatest love story isn't meant to be." Alex responds. "Now it's my time to set you free."

She gives you a ghost of a smile before she turns her back and saunters away.

There's an old saying; "If you set it free and it's meant to be, it'll come back to you."

Sacrifice is the greatest act of love. It took you awhile to realize it. But Alex has made many sacrifices when it comes to you. And this time she had to do what was right for her.

The pain rips through your heart and courses through your body violently. You fucking hate Alex Vause. But you can't blame her for leaving. This was your fault.

End Flashback

xxx

You replay this moment over and over again in your head, like a film reel on repeat, playing the same clip time and time again.

It's been almost 6 months now. 6 months since you were set free from Litchfield. 6 months since you've seen the one person that was always there to help you breathe, to help you live.

You know that Alex is probably out by now too. Her release was set shortly after yours had been.

The last year that you'd spent in Litchfield had been hell; pure torture.

Alex had hardly spoken a word to you.

She passed by you in the halls, in the dining room, in the bathroom, without so much as a look.

It was like you stopped existing.

Every time you would try to find your voice, you couldn't.

Somehow, you learned how to survive without each other.

"You've got to get over this!" you scream out loud to yourself.

The more you blamed yourself for your careless actions, the harder it became to cope with your situation; to cope with the fact that life outside of the prison walls is much harder than you've ever imagined. You don't have one friend left, you are alone in a shitty apartment with some roommate you have absolutely nothing in common with, and a shitty job on top of that.

Your eyes cut over to the clock beside the bed. The numbers 5:16 AM blink in harsh red, taunting you. How is it possible that you haven't even slept yet?

Habitually, you reach for the small bottle beside your bed and take 3 of the small white pills, dumping them into your mouth, and swallowing the contents with a swig of water.

Maybe sleep will overcome you. Maybe it won't.

You're tired of playing this stupid waiting game.

You're tired of it all.

ALEX POV

"Hey Alex…"

You recognize that face instantly.

Fuck.

This is not how you'd imagined that you would die.

"Please?" you beg. Your voice is barely audible and fear gathers in the depths of your emerald orbs. "Don't…" you choke out pitifully, almost inaudibly. You need to do everything in your power to prolong this.

Your life depends on it.

"You should know by now not to fuck with Kubra."

"He's already stolen so much of my life," you beg as you close your eyes momentarily, knowing that your life is about to come to an end.

"You should have taken your girlfriend's lead and lied," he gives you a narcissistic smirk before lifting the gun and pointing it at your face.

If you hadn't already lost all of your power, you have now.

You scream in horror as he lifts the trigger, aiming straight between your eyes.

Then it goes black.

End Flashback

xxxx

You scream in horror as you shoot awake, your body shaking uncontrollably. You feel a tear fall slowly from the corner of your emerald eyes.

You realize that you are fine.

You are at home. In your bed. Unharmed.

"Fuck," you groan loudly as you lean back against the pillows and run your hands tiredly over your face.

It's been almost a year and a half since the incident happened, yet it haunts you every time that you close your eyes. The only difference is, Lolly doesn't come to the rescue following your scream of terror and force the bullet to lodge into your arm instead. In your dreams, the bullet shoots right through you, taking the gift of life from you in one single violent moment.

You kick your legs over the side of the bed, allowing them to drop to the floor with a soft thud, trying to shake the image of your body lying in a pool of your own crimson blood from the corner of your mind.

You walk over to the window and peak between the blinds, your eyes surveying the area outside of your apartment.

You don't see the van that used to sit outside your house and stalk your every move before Kubra was extradited anymore.

But, you still can't help but shake the feeling that someone is watching you. That even though Kubra is locked away and the guard that shot you is also locked away, they still have someone watching over you.

Deep down you know that you are safe and that nobody is watching you.

But, you are so tortured by the horrific memories of what happened to you, that you can't even close your eyes without feeling a sense of paranoia kick in.

This fucking sucks.

You fall back into your bed, tiredly rubbing your eyes.

Suddenly, you think of her.

You hadn't thought of her in months.

Yet these past few days, she's been on your mind a lot.

It's infuriating.

But, you find yourself subconsciously wishing she was occupying the cold sheets next to you. You find yourself wishing you could tangle your hands in her long blonde locks. You find yourself wishing you could feel her lips on yours; her skin pressed against yours... her eyes...

Wait a fucking second. You shake your head violently from side to side.

You are aren't supposed to be thinking about her at all.

You've moved on. Right?

You try to convince yourself that you've indeed moved on.

But you find yourself thinking of her... of that letter you ripped to pieces.

You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling, a blank look canvassing your face.

God, you hate this place.

"Vause!" a voice barks, collecting you from your thoughts. Officer Bell stands at the foot of your cubicle.

"Can I help you?"

"Drop the attitude," Bell rolls her eyes at you. "You're getting out Vause."

You look at Bell dumbfounded. You're getting out of this place, finally!

It's been one week since Piper left after serving her sentence.

And now it's your turn. Apparently.

"I'm getting out?"

"Tomorrow morning," Bell clarifies for you. "Pack your stuff and say your goodbyes." She offers you a small smile, turning her broad shoulders.

"Wait."

She turns around expectantly.

"Why?"

"I don't know," Bell shrugs rigidly. "I just give the orders."

The last year you've spent in prison, you've been on your best behavior, staying out of any drama and keeping to yourself. You're informed later that night that you are being released on good behavior.

As you lay on the hard bed for the last night, you look around, and come to the conclusion you never thought you would. You are going to miss this place.

You'll miss Nichols, who has easily become your best friend. You'll miss Lorna and all of her funny stories. You'll miss Red and her motherly presence. You'll miss Taystee and Poussey and their hilarious posse, you'll miss Crazy Eyes and her well... craziness. Hell you'll even miss Pennsatucky and the other meth-head bible-thumpers and their shenanigans. But most of all you'll miss her. Even though you haven't been acknowledging Piper's existence, even though she broke your fucking heart, that doesn't mean you don't miss her like hell. That doesn't mean that being here doesn't resemble comfort and familiarity for you.

Now you'll never get to see Piper. Now you'll actually have to move on.

You don't want to read the letter that sits beside your bed, taunting you. You'd planned on ripping the thing up.

Piper's a free woman. You're going to be a free woman in the next 8 hours. It couldn't hurt right?

Your fingers slowly caress the edge of the envelope before ripping it open.

Piper had slipped this letter into your cubicle before she left a week ago.

"Please read it," she whispered so quietly, almost inaudibly, as she looked at you with pain-filled eyes.

You take a deep breath and allow your eyes to scan over the piece of stationary.

Dear Alex,

I know it's been hard. This last year, I mean. For you, and for me. I hate seeing you everyday and knowing the pain that I caused you. Knowing that I singlehandedly ruined this relationship. I'm getting out tomorrow. I know you'll still be here for awhile but I just wanted you to know that I never meant to hurt you. I'm a horrible, selfish person who can't seem to not hurt the ones I love. What happened with Stella was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life. I'm not asking for forgiveness or for you to even speak to me again. I just wanted you to know that I love you. That I never stopped. Even when I was with Stella, I was always thinking of you in the corner mind. I know that I may never see you again. But, I hope our paths cross again some day. You deserve to be happy Alex. Happier than I could have ever made you. I genuinely hope you find that happiness one day. But, I also hope that you don't forget about the good times that we had together. And when you look back on this relationship, I don't want you to only remember the bad shit. I'm sorry that love was not enough to keep us together this time, I truly am. I hate myself for what I've done to you Alex, you never deserved any of it. And I also hate myself for still loving you, even after all this time. Inevitable. That's what you'll always be to me. I love you Alex. And I probably always will.

Love, Piper

xoxo

Fuck her.

The tears are rolling down your face like a waterfall. You aren't supposed to cry like this. You are supposed to be the strong one.

What had prison done to you?

What had Piper done to you?

You take the letter in your hands, a million thoughts running through your mind. You could keep it. You could also rip it up.

Your heart tells you to keep it.

Your head tells you to rip it up.

Your head always seems to win these days.

You feel your heart wrench at the betrayal of the blonde that was supposed to love you, not hurt you.

How could she do this to you?

You tear that letter up into a million tiny pieces.

Broken. That's what it is now.

Just like you are.

End Flashback

PIPER POV

Tiredness gathers in your eyes as you clock out, grabbing your coat and throwing it over your body.

"Will you be home tonight?" you hear a voice call out from behind you. "Maybe we can have a movie marathon or something?"

You turn and look at Sam, your roommate, and then shake your head. "Sorry. I'm going out after work. Maybe some other time," you smile weakly.

You like Sam, you really do. But, you just haven't clicked. You're grateful to have someone help you pay the bills since you make a pretty crappy wage as a waitress but in retrospect, she has absolutely nothing in common with you. You appreciate that Sam has attempted to make the time to get to know you and the old you would have jumped at that chance. But not this version of you; not the woman who will desperately push away anyone that tries to be so much as her friend.

"Yeah. Maybe some other time." You don't miss the disappointment that clings to Sam's voice as she matches your weak smile and throws you a little wave, followed by a see you later.

The truth is that you don't have any plans. You never do. You just don't want to feel suffocated inside of the crappy apartment that you now call home.

So, you head to the little bar down the street instead. The alcohol will keep you company. And if you're lucky, maybe you'll find someone to keep your bed warm too.

xxxx

"Margarita please," you call out in typical fashion as you slide onto a bar stool.

You take a moment to look around the little dive bar as you wait for your drink. You smile inwardly to yourself, half expecting the familiar voice to drift from behind you and say "it's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think?"

But then you snap back to reality. You haven't heard that voice in months. And you probably never will.

When the cold beverage is placed in front of you, you take a long much-needed sip. It doesn't take long for you to finish the margarita… or the next one after that.

You move on to something stronger next time; a rye and coke. Double.

After you've finished downing the fifth one, you start to feel a certain numbness; a feeling that you've become all too accustomed to.

"I'll take a Corona, please, with lime." You hear a voice that sounds vaguely familiar call out to the bartender.

"Who the fuck orders a Corona?" you mutter bitterly.

"Excuse me?"

You turn to your left and see a woman about the same age as you with dark eyes and long blonde hair blinking at you in surprise.

"Sorry," you mutter apologetically, picking up your glass and downing the contents. "Another double rye and coke please," you shoot the bartender your infamous smile and bat your blue bambi eyes as he hands the mystery woman her beer.

"You've got it," he smiles at you warmly.

"Piper?" you hear the woman beside you whisper, an undertone of shock tainting her voice. "Piper Chapman?"

"How do you know my name?" you turn to the woman, your eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"You probably don't remember me. But, I certainly remember you." The woman gives you a warm smile. "Natalie Anderson. We went to high school together."

You ponder for a moment and then suddenly the lightbulb clicks on. Of course… You and Natalie had been friends in high school. Your parents had run in the same social clique. She had been one of those popular WASPY girls, much like you had.

"Oh yeah." You nod, feigning interest. "Hey."

"Well, I certainly didn't expect to see Piper Chapman like almost twenty years after high school, sitting in a dive bar downing double rye and cokes, with a horrible looking tattoo of the phrase "trust no bitch" on her arm." Her eyes glace towards the tattoo on your arm with a calculating look.

Who the fuck is she to judge you?

"Judge away," You shrug carelessly, without a single ounce of emotion. "I could care less."

"I just have to wonder what could go wrong in a person's life to make them get a tattoo like that and drown out their obvious sorrows in a bar like this."

She always was a bitch.

"You don't know me," You glare, taking a long swig of your drink and violently wiping the stray liquid from your mouth. "Nobody does."

"So…" Natalie looks at you expectantly. "What happened to you?"

"I didn't exactly turn out to have the cookie-cutter life everyone expected me to have," You shrug obviously, bitterness tainting the harshness of your words. "I bet you have a stellar job, live in the suburbs with your perfectly rich husband in one of those McMansions, and two little Natalie Juniors running around."

"Close," Natalie smiles. "3 little Natalie Juniors running around. My husband is a lawyer. I'm an accountant. And we live in a pretty nice house just outside of the city."

"Must be nice," You attempt to smile. "I almost had that life."

"So, what the hell happened to you?" she asks again blankly. "What stood in your way from 'almost' having that life?" she air quotes the word almost.

"I don't want to bore you with my story," You slur, almost finishing your drink and calling for another, as you wave Natalie off with your hand.

"Please?" Natalie gives you a look, shooting an ash eyebrow up in question. "I'm intrigued."

"Well since everything is pretty much out on the table, guess it can't hurt," You shrug again, slamming your empty glass down on the countertop of the bar. "I graduated from Smith College with a nice degree. My parents planned for me to get a good job, become like my older brother Danny, the doctor. But that never happened," you laugh bitterly.

"Well then what did happen?" Natalie leans forward, clearly interested in the details of your incredibly fucked up life. Like it's any of her business.

"I fell in love," you attempt to smile but instead find yourself becoming bitter as you recall the details of your early life. "I was 23 and I was dumb. I just wanted to feel special and bad. I met Alex and we had this instant connection. But she had her own demons… She was an importer for an international drug smuggling cartel."

"She?" Natalie raises an eyebrow at you skeptically. "You were a lesbian?"

You don't miss the judgement in Natalie's tone as she whispers the final word… much like your mother had when she found out. Typical WASP.

"Still am," you wriggle your eyebrows at Natalie jokingly. "I tell you that I fell in love with someone who works for an international drug cartel and all you get out of that is 'you were a lesbian?'" You laugh. "Seriously?"

"Sorry." The woman beside you blushes profusely. "That was rude. I was just so shocked to hear that you swung that way."

"Alex was very dangerous," you continue sourly. "She was beautiful, mysterious, smart, alluring even. We dated for almost five years, traveling the world together, living this great life. We were so in love…" you smile dreamily as you think back on the dangerous love affair that you and Alex had tumbled into all of those years ago.

"What happened?"

"I left her in Paris," You respond brokenly. "I couldn't handle the fact that she was a drug dealer and it was ruining everything good in her life. I woke up with the realization that I wasn't 23 anymore and I had to start making a life for myself." You finish slowly. "But, before that, I fucked up bad. I carried a suitcase full of drug money for her. I told her that I'd never do it again and I knew that I had to get out before she ruined my life too."

"Wow," Natalie lets out a low whistle as she orders another drink. "That's crazy! I can't believe you, Piper Chapman, fell in love with an international drug dealer and carried a suitcase of drug money."

"It's not just some fucking story that I tell people, okay?" You hiss venomously. "That was my life. That shit that Alex and I did, that was my fucking life." You hate it when people pass it off like it was just some phase in your life.

Natalie shoots you a look and slowly nods her head as if to signal that she understands. "So what happened next?"

"I moved back to the States, got a job as a public advisor, met this great guy named Larry, started to really re-build my life," you smile as a wave of nostalgia washes over you for the life that you almost had. "Larry asked me to marry him… things were supposed to be perfect."

"And then?" Natalie asks expectantly with the raise of an ash eyebrow.

"I end up in prison."

Natalie nearly chokes on her drink. "Y-you went to prison?" she blinks in surprise.

"Alex named me as one of the people who carried money in the cartel," You shrug. "She totally fucked me over. So yeah, I was sentenced to 15 months in a federal penitentiary. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't ended up getting an additional year or so added to my sentence when I lied at the king pin of the cartels trial."

"Why'd you lie?"

"I did it for love."

Silence lingers over the two of you for a minute.

"Shit Piper. You've done some fucked up things."

No shit Sherlock.

"Thank you," You snap at the woman sarcastically. "Alex and I went to the same prison. I'm human; I have needs, so I cheated on my fiancé with Alex. We started this affair in jail and I stupidly fell for her again. But, I chose Larry over her because I needed to have that stability in my life."

"So, you ended up with Larry? I'm confused…"

"No, Larry ended up with my best friend from college, Polly. In my absence, they just sort of fell in love, I guess. Then Alex got out of jail after she convinced me to lie at the trial, and she told the truth. I was pissed at her. So, when she told me that she was skipping town, I had Polly call her probation officer and she ended up back in jail."

"Well I can see you're still a manipulative bitch," Natalie laughs a little as she takes a sip of her beer.

"Funny, Alex used to call me that," You mutter bitterly. "Except she used cunt instead of bitch."

"Charming."

"Yeah."

"So what ever happened to this Alex person?"

"We started dating again after she returned to prison. It was amazing and I was finally so happy after feeling so empty for so long. But, she was convinced that her old boss had hired someone to spy on her in prison and she started drifting away," you shrug. "We just kind of fell apart and then I met Stella…"

"Stella? I was really starting to root for you and Alex," Natalie groans as she sets her beer bottle down. "Then you go and fuck it up!"

Tell me about it. You were rooting for you and Alex too.

"I was stupid," You admit. "So fucking stupid. But, I let myself stray from Alex and I cheated on her with Stella, once. Alex broke up with me because she didn't like the person that I'd become and I tried to move on to Stella because I was so fucking lonely without Alex. Well that and prison had turned me into this awful person. Anyways, Stella totally fucked me over. But before that, she gave me this tattoo," You points towards your arm. "She told me to 'trust no bitch' and I made sure that she got what she deserved… framed her for having a bunch of contraband in her prison bunk and she ended up in maximum security."

Natalie just looks at you as if to say 'what the fuck?' It's kinda funny actually. Just hearing yourself tell the story of your life, you realize how fucked up it all sounds. It doesn't even sound real. And honestly, you can't even believe this is your life.

"So what happened to Alex?"

"She stopped talking to me. And as far as I know, she was released from prison shortly after me, which was roughly six months ago."

"Fuck," Natalie looks at you with wide eyes and shakes her head. "You should write a damn book or something. That is some shit, you've been through."

"That was my life Natalie," You respond flatly. "It's not some fucking book."

Even though you have to admit, it would probably make a fucking good book.

Natalie finishes chugging down the contents of her beer. "I've got to get home," she responds, glancing at her watch. "It was nice seeing you again Piper," she forces an awkward smile. "I hope you figure your shit out," she finishes, before dropping some money on the bar and exiting.

"Yeah, I hope so too…" You draws out to yourself, slumping further in the bar seat, as she leaves.

When you think back on all of it, Natalie is right; your life was incredibly fucked up; is incredibly fucked up.

But where do you go from here? How the fuck are you supposed to rebuild your life, when this is all you have?

You always imagined that Cal would be the family fuck-up, yet now you find yourself being the one that everyone walks on eggshells around. Your parents tell people that you spent some time in Africa on a peace corp. mission because they don't want to face the fact that their prodigal daughter ended up being a total fuck-up and going to prison with her drug importing, lesbian ex-lover. But they were right. All of them. You are a fuck-up.