Espionage and Madness

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It was time for the next meeting. Starrk was sleeping with a pillow he had pulled out of no where. Barragan was muttering 'Back in my day' statements, Harribel was getting ready to pumble Nnoritra for trying to look down her collar, Ulquiorra was the only one who was actually drinking the tea. Grimmjow was singing, 'I put the sex in sexta' to himself, Zommari was on a mission, Szayel was strangely missing, Aaroniero was arguing with himself, Yammy was trying to resist the urge to eat Barragan, Tousen was batting the air around his head because he kept hearing the buzzing sound of a mosquito, and Gin was making zzzzzzzzz noises at Tousen. Aizen walked in, sat down, and addressed the first order of business.

"Ulquiorra, how is our guest, Miss Orihime Inoue?" Aizen asked Ulquiorra.

"The woman appears to have taken leave of her senses." Ulquiorra stated. Everyone else gave each other strange looks.

"How so Ulquiorra?" Aizen asked. Ulquiorra took out his left eyeball and crushed it. The scene played before everyone's eyes.

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"Oh, Orihime, I love you so much." Orihime wiggled her right pointer finger and spoke in a low voice.

"Oh, Ichigo, I love you too." Orihime replied in her normal voice, then she started to kiss her Ichigo finger. She looked at her left middle finger.

"What's that Rukia? You're happy for me and Ichigo? You only loved him as a brother? Oh thank you Rukia-san." Orihime glomped her Rukia finger, and then was glomped by her right pinky finger.

"Chizuru...Can't breathe..." Orihime struggled, then her left pointer finger attacked her Chizuru finger.

"Thanks Tatsuki." Orihime smiled cheerfully. She looked at another finger.

"Rangiku, let's make dinner for everyone." Orihime said. Then she made cheering noises from all of her fingers.

"We love Orihime's cooking," She mimicked her friends voices.

"Captain Hitsugaya, Uryu, Chad, and Sora I need you to get lotsa red bean paste." Orihime said.

"Keigo, go with them and help them carry." She told her last finger. Then she collapsed into insane giggles.

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"Perhaps she is lonely," Gin suggested, with his signature smile. Aizen looked thoughtful.

"Ulquiorra will remain with Orihime until I believe her sanity has returned."

"Aww you lucky, you get to stay with Pet-sama. Wonder what you're gunna do for fun. I wish I was you right now." Nnoritra leered while looking at Ulquiorra.

"If you are that lonely, I am sure that Szayel will be willing to make your pitiful existence better." Harribel said from behind her collar, with a disdainful look at Nnoritra.

"I sure am baby. In fact, I am available tonight." Szayel said while making kissy faces at Nnoritra. "Very well, Nnoritra, I'll be in your room tonight" Szayel said to Nnoritra while winking. Nnoritra looked around the table, looking for a friendly face, and finding none, he mouthed the works, "Help Me."

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Ulquiorra walked to the woman's room. He had a trunk full of his stuff and as he opened the door, the woman gave a start.

"Ummm, Ulquiorra?" Orihime said shyly. Ulquiorra looked at her. She took a deep breath and said, "Why do you have all of your things and a futon with you?"

"Lord Aizen has decided that I am to stay with you until he has declared you mentally fit." Ulquiorra answered. Orihime drew her eyebrows together.

"What do you mean? I am completely fine." Orihime said while whispering to her Ichigo finger.. Ulquiorra pondered this and replied,

"Obviously not." Orihime recognized the tone that meant he didn't wish to speak on the matter any more. She nodded shyly and continued to stare out of the window. Ulquiorra quickly set his things in a suitable place then sat on his futon. It was silent for about 30 minutes until Ulquiorra's curiosity got the best of him.

"What do you do for what you humans call...fun?" Ulquiorra asked. Orihime looked startled. Then she thought it over, wanting to give him a honest answer.

"Well I usually, play pretend." Orihime said, brightening up just thinking about her favorite game. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"Pretend?" He said in what she determined as a questioning voice.

"Well, pretend is a game where you make stuff up, like I play pretend all the time and I usually pretend stuff like I'm a superhero or a ninja or a fairy or a princess..." She stopped after she realized she was babbling. It usually annoyed some of her friends and they tuned her out but Ulquiorra seemed interested. She continued, encouraged by Ulquiorra's curious expression. To anyone else, it would look like nothing had changed, but Orihime had studied her captor's facial expressions in an effort to avoid boredom.

"It's a lot of fun, except it's not so fun here because no one will play pretend with me." Orihime looked a little downcast and Ulquiorra realized that he didn't like seeing her sad.

"If," He started slowly, thinking over his words, "I were to play this game of pretend with you, what would we pretend?" Ulquiorra asked. Orihime's face lit up with astonishment and joy. Ulquiorra decided he liked this expression better.

"We could pretend we are secret agents and do cool and funny stuff." Orihime started excitedly. Ulquiorra nodded his assent then Orihime closed her eyes. Ulquiorra watched her for a little bit before asking,

"Woman, What are you doing?" Orihime cracked open an eyelid.

"I'm playing pretend, what are you waiting for, you just close your eyes and imagine stuff. Like now, I'm imagining that we are on a mission to see if Gin smiles in his sleep." Orihime said while giggling.

"Could we not just go look at the real Gin. He is in his room, it would not be difficult." Ulquiorra said thoughtfully. Orihime gasped.

"We can do that?" Orihime looked at Ulquiorra with pleading eyes.

"It would be more entertaining than sitting and staring at nothing all day." Ulquiorra said. Orihime squealed with joy, flinging herself at Ulquiorra, knocking him down. He looked utterly shocked as he sat up with Orihime on his lap.

"Ok so first we need code names, I'll be..." Orihime hmmmed until she snapped her fingers, "Agent Fairy, Ninja, Princess, Robot in Space." She declared, not noticing she was still on Ulquiorra's lap. She rolled off while doing a dramatic pose. "So what's your agent name." Orihime looked at Ulquiorra with bright silver eyes. Ulquiorra thought for a minute then said,

"Agent Ulquiorra." Ulquiorra nodded. 'That would be acceptable'

"No, no, no, no, no. You cant have your agent name be your actual name, where's the fun in that. I dub thee...Agent Bats." Orihime smiled hugely at him and Ulquiorra couldn't find it in himself to disagree.

"You may lead the way woman. Gin's room is the one with the fox stickers all over the door." Ulquiorra said. Orihime nodded, in professional spy mode now. She help up her fingers in a gun position then made her way to the white halls. She did a summersault down the hall with Ulquiorra following. She realized he was just walking so she cart wheeled over to him and said,

"Agent Bats, come in Agent Bats." She looked at him expectantly. He did not know what she expected him to do so he raised an eyebrow.

"When we are in sneak mode, you can't just walk, you have to do something like somersaults or flips or running with your back to the wall. And when you answer me you must talk like you are talking through a walky-talky. Which means first you would say what I said, though not with your name. Then say what you have to say, then say over. And when you understand something, you say 10-4." Orihime looked at him expectantly. He reflected on this for a minute, then said,

"10-4." He was rewarded with a huge smile from Orihime. He almost found himself smiling in return. Orihime resumed her cartwheels and somersaults, while Ulquiorra thought for a moment, wondering at his insanity. He would normally never be seen like this but something in him forced him to comply. Ulquiorra pondered this then gave in to his desire to actually play. He looked around, then started walking quickly through the halls, with his arm covering his face and his other arm thrown out behind him. He has see it before in a movie called Dracula. He picked it for Espada movie night, as it was his turn to pick, and it looked like the opposite of the last movie he had picked. A strange movie called Twilight. Only the girls liked his pick. Personally, he thought it was trash. He only picked it because the book looked emo.

Orihime looked at him approvingly, he was trying. The strange pair made their way to Gin's room. They stared at the door that was unfortunately, covered in fox stickers. Orihime opened the door. They were greeted by the sight of candles glowing from the corner of the room. Upon closer inspection, Ulquiorra saw a picture of a Shinigami.

"Rangiku." Orihime breathed softly. She turned and tripped on something. Ulquiorra grabbed her in time before she landed with a loud crash. She looked at the floor and saw it littered with persimmon. She looked farther back and saw a persimmon tree.

"How he managed to get that in here, I will never know." Ulquiorra said thoughtfully. As they headed towards the bed, they heard an ominous muttering sound. They looked closer as they discovered a fox plushie laying on the bed next to Gin. Suddenly, Gin screamed and sat up so quickly, they hadn't seen it happen. Orihime screamed and Ulquiorra leapt to the roof, standing upside down.

"HAHAHA, ya should've seen ya're faces. Wasn't tha funny Grin. This is mah fox plushie, his name is Grin. He says he liked Ulqui-chan's reaction best. Oh and by tha way, ya're allowed to come down from dere." Gin said while looking at Ulquiorra, whose collar had flipped upside down, covering most of his face, giving him a very bat like appearance.

"I am suitable up here." Ulquiorra said. He looked around. There was a mysteriously large number of stamps. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at Gin. He seemed to remember a scene in one of Gin's picks for Espada movie night. From a movie called Finding Neverland. Ulquiorra continued to stand upside-down on the roof.

"Agent Bats, that is no way for an agent to act." Orihime said sternly. Ulquiorra sighed and returned to standing on the floor. Gin's grin grew bigger.

"Agent? Huh. Well are ya recruiting. Well it doesn't matter cuz meet...AGENT GRIN." Gin ended his sentence with a flourish. Orihime clapped. Now she had more people to play with. Orihime looked straight with a decisive face.

"Does Gin smile in his sleep...the world may never know." Orihime concluded. Ulquiorra looked around.

"Who are you talking to woman?" He asked. Gin looked around. Orihime blinked in surprise.

"I don't know...Just a bit of wall there...I guess." Ulquiorra and Gin looked at each other, then back at Orihime.

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If you have any questions about the characters of bleach, send them in as review and the team of Agent Fairy, Ninja, Princess, Robot in Space, Agent Bats, and Agent Grin will answer them with their super spy skills.

Orihime: Please review, I'm having fun

Gin: Me 2

Me 3

*Orihime not so subtly elbows Ulquiorra who sighs and says*

Ulquiorra: Me *wince* 4