Cabbit
Well, so; hi…
This is/was an omake that I sent to Tigee86 back in 2010 for the story Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!; and I've decided to expand on it…but not often; let me make that perfectly clear right now. Also, I don't own Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! at all. I own the omake, but that's all. Also, I describe nothing about the story aforementioned so if I were you, I'd go and check it out first. You'll find out what the hell happens that turns Naruto into what he becomes; but encourage you all to read the entirety of Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! because it is awesome.
Also, I have not done anything to this chapter other than change out my old page breaks and add this and the end note below. Everything is as it was when I sent it to Tigee86. If there are grammar problems and spelling problems, don't whine or moan; because I'm not changing it. If you find any in latter chapters, then yeah; tell me about them and I'll(hopefully) get around to changing them-just not this chapter.
I only own this omake. I don't own anything else. This was originally an omake that I sent to Tigee86 and have decided to expand upon it every now and then. I do, however; own a tub of bubble gum that sits next to my couch and where my bed lies; as well as a copy of Age of Empires 2: The Conquerors. That's about it.
Road to Nami no Kuni(Land of Waves)
Team Seven had been traveling for a couple hours since the Oni Kyodai(Demon Brothers) had attacked them and their charge, Tazuna, whilst escorting him back to his home country. Apparently he had a bounty on his head, and had neglected to tell the Hokage. The reason? Well, as it turned out, Nami no Kuni had no money. A short, fat, worm of a man named Gatô taken control of the country and basically choked into submission. Tazuna was their only hope.
Thankfully for his team, and his heart, nothing else had happened yet-
Pfft!
Hatake Kakashi turned his head around at his blonde pupil, who had just thrown a kunai into a bush on the side of the road, so fast; he thought that his neck had snapped.
"Naruto!" His pink haired student roared at him. "What was that for?"
"Something's there!" The blonde whined, trying to cover for his moment of stupidity. Kakashi slowly made his way to the bush, pushed aside the leaves…and sweat dropped. There, in the bush, was a dead snow hare. Naruto's kunai had sliced through its neck, not even giving it a chance to squeal in pain before it died. Picking it up, he turned around to show his students and their charge the casualty of the blonde's stupidity.
"Naruto!" Sakura gasped softly, obviously shocked that the blonde had killed an innocent rabbit. "H-How could you?" The blonde tried to defend himself, but the pink haired girl he crushed heavily on wouldn't listen, and proceeded to lay into him with a pink mallet, the head shaped like a flower with a green stem(the painted handle) that had the kanji for 'Fuck you!' written on said stem.
"Sakura! Wait!" The silver haired man was too late. He watched as the pink haired girl raced towards the blonde, who began to cower, before she swung the mallet at him like a golf club…there was a second of complete silence…and then, the blonde shot off into the sky, his screams drowned out by the eardrum shattering sound and a rush of wind. Having had to shut his eye due to the dust, when he opened it, Kakashi could only see a small blip high above the now three man team and their charge; and by the looks of it, the poor blonde was still climbing.
"Sakura," he began "that was wrong. He didn't mean to kill the rabbit." The girl hadn't heard him, her ears were probably still ringing from the sonic boom that she had produced when she had slammed her now conveniently missing mallet into the team's loudest member. Unfortunately, or fortunately…he couldn't decide which one it was…she didn't get a chance to answer as a large sword flew towards them.
"Duck!"
-o-
With Naruto, Ten Minutes After Lift Off
-o-
Naruto screwed his eyes shut as he fell at break neck speed towards a lake that had literally formed out of nowhere, at least to him it did. 'This is going to hurt…' he told himself as he fell. Suddenly, the dark world that was the inside of his eyelids, turned red. Taking the chance of opening his eyes, Naruto suddenly found himself staring at an entirely red world. The clouds were red, the ground-err-lake was red, and apparently there was a small red dot with a small red blob…that suddenly increased to a large red blob…he shut his eyes as pain encompassed his body as he slammed into the water at a high rate of speed.
-o-
Kakashi watched in horror as a red beam suddenly shot down next to Zabuza and himself. It was powerful, too powerful to be a jutsu, especially from one of his students. It worried him. 'At least it freed me from that jutsu.' Both he and Zabuza had jumped back and away from where the beam had impacted the water's surface. And if that wasn't enough, he was almost sure that he had seen Naruto in the red beam. 'The Kyuubi?' he asked, worried that the seal had broken.
Suddenly, the beam dissipated. The surface must have been flash boiled when the beam of red light struck it, because there were a lot of bubbles forming and surfacing from where the beam had struck it. Kakashi and the Nuke-nin were surprised when an off creature popped up from the water, swimming as fast as it could to get to shore. Both Nin were shocked to see that the creature had yellow fur with a small orange spiral on its back.
"What the hell?" Zabuza asked. Kakashi's eyes twitched, but his train of thought was exactly similar to the Kirigakure Nuke-nin's. As they watched the small rabbit like creature crawl out and on to shore, a blue blur landed beside the yellow furred creature and picked it up.
"HAKU!" Zabuza yelled angrily at the new arrival. Kakashi took a closer look at the blue clad figure and realized it was an Oi-nin(Hunter-Nin) from Kirigakure…or, that was what it looked like. Said Oi-Niun looked over at Zabuza and waved happily at him…and that was when Kakashi figured it out. The Oi-Nin was in cahoots with Zabuza. Meaning it was a fake, with a passion for cute little rabbit like animals. "Damn it!" Kakashi looked back at the Nuke-Nin he had been fighting, as he cursed and snapped his fingers savagely. "Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have allowed her to have a pet!" The Nuke-Nin jumped towards the Oi-Nin, leaving Kakashi hanging. "We'll finish this later, Kakashi!"
-o-
Later that night with Zabuza and Haku
-o-
"So." Gatô began, smirking down at the infamous Nuke-Nin he had hired and his little wench…who oddly enough, was not paying any attention to him or his two guards as she hugged the stuffing out of a yellow colored rabbit, which was consistently trying to get away from her. "Even the great 'Demon of the Mist' couldn't deal with a group of Genin, eh?"
"Shut up, Gatô!" The pissed off, masked man snarled at the short, fat, worm of a man; scaring the man and his guards stiff. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit! In case you haven't noticed, I have a defective tool here!" Turning back to the dark haired girl, Haku, who had at first told the short man that she was a he, the Nuke-Nin ripped into her. "And what the hell was that about? You were supposed to be there for assistance if needed!" The girl's answer was to flick him off, shocking the raging man into silence.
"They killed my bunny…" The girl stated softly, still struggling to hold her new pet, who was still trying to escape. "…so I found a new one." Taking a candy from a bowl that had somehow appeared out of nowhere, she gave the rabbit looking creature an orange treat…the odd creature calmed down instantly.
"Mi~yah…" Blue eyes entering a slightly off kilter trance as it calmed down.
"…Give me that thing!" Zabuza went to grab the odd creature that Haku had picked up from the lake's shoreline only to have a small obsidian gem that was oddly enough embedded in the creature's forehead light up in a creepy purple fashion, as did its blue eyes. "…oh shit!"
"Miii…" Zabuza ducked instinctively. "YAAAAHHH!" A wide purple beam shot out of the creature's forehead and sailed over the Nuke-Nin. A large explosion signified that the beam hit something, and from the pieces of wood and furniture falling all around him, Zabuza decided that the beam had to have been extremely powerful. Turning over on his back, the Nuke-Nin looked at the devastation with wide eyes. Gatô and his weak guards had been completely obliterated by the purple beam.
"Pah…Pah…Pah…Pah~" The Nuke-Nin looked back at the tired yellow creature in his tool's hands who, oddly enough, had her eyes closed and was petting the creature from Hell contently.
"Um…Haku?" Zabuza began. The girl only cocked her head at him, eyes still closed. "Do…Do you think you can control him?" The girl nodded and handed the creature another orange treat, who greedily accepted it and began to purr. 'Yeah…Okay…I think I need to lay off the drink binges. Purring rabbits…yeah right.' "…I…I guess it can stay."
"Yay!" The girl chirped happily, before standing up and holding her new pet high above her head, making it look insanely cute with its mouth full of candy and its body hanging below its head. "I'm going to name you Murasaki-Chan(Purple)! And I'm going to love you and kiss you and hug you and feed you and play with you forever and ever, Murasaki-Chan!" The creature seemed to dislike it's new name.
"Why Murasaki? It's yellow!" Zabuza asked. The raven haired girl looked at her master and smiled at him cutely…which had no effect on him…before replying to his question.
"Yes, but her attacks are purple!"
"Uh…Haku…"
"Yes, Zabuza-sama?" The girl blinked at him. The Nuki-Nin pointed at the yellow creature in her hands. She brought the creature down to her eye level before humming in confusion.
"I don't think it's a girl." Zabuza stated.
"How do you figure?" The girl asked. Zabuza slapped his forehead.
"I mean that it's got a pair of…oh never mind!" The tired, angry and extremely confused Nuke-Nin grumbled out before turning around and walking off, not caring about the damage done to their tree house. "I'm going to sleep."
Haku looked at her master, but soon went back to staring at her new pet. Murasaki started to struggle, and Haku saw that it had crossed it's legs. Realizing what the poor creature needed to do, she put Murasaki on the floor and watched it jump(extremely fast by the way) off in search of a place to do business. Unfortunately for Haku, her new pet stopped to do its business in front of her, which made her gag slightly…but that later turned from a grossed out expression to a look of clarification as her pet lifted its leg and took a leak…right on the small piles of ash that had been Gatô and his guards. She chuckled. "Good boy Murasaki-Kun!" She amended as she cheered her pet for humiliating Gatô. 'If only he had done that before destroying him…' she thought cheerfully.
-o-
Two Days Later - Bridge
-o-
Zabuza sighed when he saw Hatake Kakashi and his two students. Obviously the third one had died from the vicious attack his teammate had dealt unto him for killing Pinku-Chan. The snow hare. However, if he had survived the attack, Haku would have castrated him before taking his life for killing her fiftieth pet. 'As long as she doesn't find out that we've eaten forty-nine of them, then I'm safe…' he thought before shaking his head. "Halt, Kakashi." He spoke to the silver haired man. "We have no need for conflict today."
"Is that so?" The silver haired man asked. "And why would that be?" Before Zabuza could answer him, a new voice entered the scene.
"You bastard Zabuza!" Both men, the teen wearing the Oi-Nin mask, the two remaining preteens and the bridge builder and his crew all looked over towards the end of the bridge and saw a large group of thugs standing there. "You killed Gatô! Our meal ticket!" The leader yelled out angrily. "Now, we'll get out revenge!" The man turned back to his comrades and began to shout at them. "Remember! Don't kill the girls, subdue them! We can use them before selling them!" A sudden burst of energy, three times as dangerous as the Kyuubi's chakra suddenly appeared. Kakashi and his team, as well as Tazuna, all watched as the faux Oi-Nin's oddly colored pet jumped from the girl's arms and raced out to meet the thugs.
"Miyah mi-miyah!" Suddenly, one oddly colored rabbit thing turned into forty oddly colored rabbit things which caused Kakashi to gasp as realization hit him like a sack of moldy potatoes. But, before he could do anything about it, he noticed as the odd rabbit creatures had begun to quiver and shake before forty beams of purple energy shot out towards the thugs.
They didn't have time to scream…or blink.
Everyone on the bridge saw the explosion but no one could hear it. The collective sound of the blast, that had also erased a fifth of the bridge as well as eradicating the thugs, had temporarily made them all deaf.
It was nearly two minutes of silence and then five minutes of annoying ringing in his ears before Kakashi could say anything. However, it was already too late; for the yellow rabbit creature of death and destruction with the orange swirl on it's back was already in the arms of the fake Oi-Nin…mewing…happily before receiving an orange candy. The girl lifted up her mask and kissed the odd rabbit-cat…the cabbit…on the head. The yellow cabbit spat out the orange candy into its small paws before licking the girl's nose and then mewed before popping the candy back into its mouth.
'…Have fun, Naruto.' The silver haired man thought as he watched the cabbit he was certain was his oddest and loudest pupil. 'Have fun.' He watched the Nuke-Nin and fake Oi-Nin disappear, Naruto-cabbit with them.
Ten minutes had passed before the people of Nami no Kuni heard earth rendering screams of fear. Kakashi had just realized that the Sandiame was going to have to hear of this whole fiasco.
-o-
Konohagakure - Two Weeks Later
-o-
"…do you think I'm an idiot, Kakashi?" The elderly leader of Konohagakure snapped at the silver haired man. "Red beams of light don't just appear out of thin air and change little boys into cat-rabbits!"
"Cabbits, sir." Kakashi corrected automatically. The Hokage glared at him even harder, which shut him up.
"Hatake Kakashi! For not only losing track of your student, who by the way happens to have a whole organization full of S-rank Nuke-Nin who want to control the Biju for some unknown reason; and then refusing to look for him before returning home; I m hereby demoting you to Genin rank! You will be stationed under Maito Gai, and you will not be able to participate in the Chuunin Exams for as long as Naruto is missing!" Hiruzen decreed, shocking the silver haired man.
"B-But…But who will teach Sasuke and Sakura?" He asked.
"Yamato." Kakashi could only blink.
"Hokage-sama, Yamato reporting for duty!" Kakashi looked at the man who had interrupted the meeting slash demotion with a hidden, one eyed glare. Said man waved at him with a sad, strained smile.
"Yamato!" Hiruzen barked, the new Jounin instructor snapping to attention. "Team Seven is now under your control. A new teammate will be added whenever I can find one. For now, it's just the three of you." The man nodded. "You are to meet your team tomorrow at seven in the morning at the Academy. That is all." The man nodded, bowed, and turned around.
As he passed Kakashi, he heard the newly minted Jounin instructor mutter something to himself. "I will earn your respect, Hokage-sama…and then…I will be loved!" Kakashi shuttered heavily. As soon as the man left, Maito Gai entered, looked at him, and shook his head with a sigh.
"You have fallen far from the path of youthfulness." The green dressed man said softly. "But I, Maito Gai, will rekindle those flames of youthfulness! Come Kakashi-Kun! We must started now!" Kakashi wasn't given a chance to do anything other than contain a gag as the man picked him up like a board, bowed to the Hokage and then left the tower in a blur.
'D-Damn you Naruto!' The silver haired man cursed mentally. 'Because of you, I'm in Hell!'
For any and all people out there who read this in the story Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! Which was created by Tigee86, or now will; will realize that I wrote this as a one-shot/omake for the story-mainly because I freaking love it. However, in the world of shitty Canon!Naruto and really nothing else to read until Vinland Saga as well as a few other manga are updated; and a lot of shit going on at work; where I do wish I could just vaporize everyone who pisses me off(and that's just about everyone, seriously; it's about a 70-30 percent ratio, with 70 percent being the portion I want to vaporize); and since I'm still working on Quills chapter 3, which I've been working on at work when I'm on break or on lunch on a pad of paper that I keep in my pocket; as well as a few other stories; I felt like uploading this on my profile.
That being said, I will not be writing this off as 'Finished' because I do have little ideas every now and then about writing a few chapters depicting the life of Haku, Zabuza and Naruto as they run around the continent; Naruto(Murasaki-Chan/Kun) getting them into trouble for various reasons(some of which seem absolutely stupid but probably would piss off a village if it happened in real life). I might also put in different scenarios where another person finds Naruto(Murasaki-Chan/Kun) and deals with him in their own way; while Haku goes on homicidal rampages to find her Mega-Bunny while Zabuza tries to drink himself sane. I may even throw in a few chapters that depict Kakashi's life as not just a Genin but also as a Genin under Gai's care.
This will, of course; be updated sporadically-essentially whenever I feel like writing a chapter for it or not.
I hope that you all enjoyed the chapter and as stated above; I hope that you all check out Tigee86's profile and of course, read Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! If you want to know just what the hell is going on.
Write at you later!