I've been really tryin' baby. Tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long. And if you feel like I feel baby, come on. Oh! Come on. Whoo! LET'S GET IT ON! Okay, that was totally random. Marvin Gaye rocks my socks! When I get that feelin', I want sexual healin'. Sexual healin'. Alright, enough with the random pieces of Marvin Gaye songs. Time to write! NEW STORY! HELL YEAH! Note: I refer to Angel as a "she" cause, even though she's a man, she's still a woman to me! Okay? Okay. ;)

I own nothing. The Almighty Larson owns it all.

"Honey?" Angel said as she sat next to her sleeping lover's feet on the couch. "Honey?" She began gently shaking Collins. When that failed, she shook him roughly, but didn't phase him. She let out a frustrated sigh, left the room, returned with her pickle tub and one of her drumsticks, and sat the pickle tub right by Collins' head. "WAKE UP!" Angel then hit the pickle tub as hard as she could, causing the loud noise it made to wake Collins up instantly.

"It's not my car officer!" Collins yelled, oblivious to where he was. He looked around for a moment, his eyes landing on Angel. "What was that noise?"

"That was your wake up call," Angel replied, smiling.

"Ha ha. Funny Ang. Why'd you wake me up?"

"Cause it's six o' clock."

"Six o' clock in the morning?"

"In the afternoon, honey."

"For real?"

"Yeah, for real. You've been asleep since you came home from class."

"How long ago was that?"

"Oh . . . seven and a half hours ago." The phone suddenly rang and Collins sat up and answered it.

"Hello?" he said. "I'm sorry, what?" As the person on the phone continued to speak in Spanish, Collins twisted his face as he tried to comprehend at least one thing out of the sentence. When he realized he barely could, he decided to use his little translator. "What in the world are you saying? No, I don't speak Spanish! Ugh! Hold on! I said, hold on. Hoooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllllllldddddddddddddddddddddddd oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! Did you understand it that time? Good." He turned to Angel and gave her the phone. "I have no clue what that woman's sayin' so you talk to her!" Angel rolled her eyes and put the phone to her ear.

¿"Bueno? Ah, hola mamá. Hago fino. ¿Cómo está usted? Esto está bien. ¿Cómo es el papá? Grande. ¿De este modo, qué continúa? Sí... bien... bien. ¡Ah mi Dios! ¿¡Realmente!? ¡Por supuesto estoy excitado! ¡Usted finalmente consigue encontrar a mi novio! Bien... él es realmente agradable, gracioso, alto, muy elegante. ¿Cómo elegante? Él es un profesor de universidad." Angel laughed for a moment. "Sí, él es realmente mono. Él realmente, realmente me ama así estoy seguro que él será fino con ello. Tengo que ir. Él me da una mirada realmente extraña porque él no puede entenderme ahora mismo. No, no digo mucho español alrededor de él. Bien... bien. Le ver pronto. ¡¡Adiós!!" Angel then hung up the phone with a smile.

"Ang?" Collins said.

"Yes darling?" Angel replied.

"What the hell was all that?"

"I was just talking to my mom."

"Well, what'd she say?"

"She asked me how I was doing."

"What'd you say?"

"I just asked how she was doing, what was going on, whensheandmydadwerecomingtomeetyou. Hey, how was class?"

"What?"

"I said, how was class?"

"No, before that."

"I asked her how she was doing."

"After that."

"I asked her what was going on?"

"After. That."

"That would bring us back to the class thing."

"Angel Dummot Schunard, don't play wit me."

"Why the full name?"

"You know why. Now, what'd you say?"

"Okay. My mom told me that she and my dad want to come here to meet you." Collins' mouth dropped open. "Then she asked me if it'd be okay."

"And you said 'no' right?" Collins asked, suddenly finding his voice.

"Not exactly," Angel said.

"What do you mean 'not exactly?'"

"I told her yes."

"What'd you do that for!?"

"They have a right to meet you, Collins."

"Yeah, I know that! There's just one problem!"

"What?"

"PARENTS FUCKING HATE ME!"

"You're overreacting."

"No I'm not! In fifth grade, I met Mark. He was a really shrimpy kid and everybody picked on him for no apparent reason. Well, everybody except me. Anyway, one day he decided to introduce me to his mom. So, I went to his house and ended up knockin' over a vase with some type of powder in it and, just to be nice, I cleaned it up and threw it in the trash. Come to find out that the "powder" was actually Mark's great-grandfather. You know what his mom did?"

"What?"

"She took me out to the front porch, called me 'the devil's child' six times, and sprinkled me with holy water!"

"She did not."

"Yes she did!"

"What about Roger's parents?"

"He stayed friends with me just to piss his parents off."

"And Maure–"

"That girl's parents didn't even like her behavior let alone mine!"

"Well, my parents are gonna love you."

"How do you know?"

"Cause I love you."

"That don't mean they're gonna like me."

"Honey, just give them a chance."

"No."

"Please? I'll be really sad if you don't."

"Well, since you put it that way . . . hell no!" Angel scoffed.

"I'd meet your parents if you wanted me too!" she stated.

"The answer's still no," Collins said.

"Fine. Then you get no kisses–"

"So?"

"–and absolutely no sex for 3 months!"

"You can't do that!"

"Yeah I can. It's my body and you can't touch it."

"3 months?"

"Um hmm."

"90 days?"

"Yup."

"Just for not meetin' your parents?"

"That's right. And just because you're not allowed to touch me . . ." Angel stood up and started to take her skirt off.

"What are you doin'?" Collins asked, keeping his eyes on Angel's skirt.

"I'm gonna walk around the apartment with nothing on but a thong," Angel said, smirking. She proceeded to sliding her skirt down a little lower.

"Angel," Collins whined. "Come on. Don't' do this to me."

"Will you agree to meet my parents?" Angel asked, keeping her hands on her skirt.

"Yes! I'll do anything you want!" Angel squealed, sat back down, and kissed Collins' cheek.

"I knew you'd come around. Even if you did it just to save your sex life," she said.

"I hope you know your parents like you say you do."

"Trust me, sweetie. They'll love you."

"We'll see."

Review! Review! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD REVIEW! Please? I'm toe-tally taking any guesses on what you think will happen. So show your spirit and guess!

Translations:

"Ah, hola mamá. Hago fino. ¿Cómo está usted? Esto está bien. ¿Cómo es el papá? Grande. ¿De este modo, qué continúa? Sí... bien... bien. ¡Ah mi Dios! ¿¡Realmente!? ¡Por supuesto estoy excitado! ¡Usted finalmente consigue encontrar a mi novio! Bien... él es realmente agradable, gracioso, alto, muy elegante. ¿Cómo elegante? Él es un profesor de universidad." ––– "Oh, hi mom. I'm doing fine. How are you? That's good. How's dad? Great. So, what's going on? Yeah . . . okay . . . all right. Oh my God! Really!? Of course I'm excited! You finally get to meet my boyfriend! Well . . . he's really nice, funny, tall, extremely smart. How smart? He's a college professor."

"Sí, él es realmente mono. Él realmente, realmente me ama así estoy seguro que él será fino con ello. Tengo que ir. Él me da una mirada realmente extraña porque él no puede entenderme ahora mismo. No, no digo mucho español alrededor de él. Bien... bien. Le ver pronto. ¡¡Adiós!!" —— "Yes, he's really cute. He really, really loves me so I'm sure he'll be fine with it. I have to go. He's giving me a really weird look because he can't understand me right now. No, I don't speak much Spanish around him. Okay . . . okay. See you soon. Bye-bye!"