This is a Tavros song-fic. I do not own Homestuck or the song. Hey! I should really be working on my other story trolls and deathberrries but I'm in areal dip. The chapters I had written were deleted due to a problem with my computer and I lost the original plot for it. I am however busy with a new chapter but it's coming slowly. This is a fanfic I had lying around and I already posted it on the homestuck animo on my account there. I thought I'd atleast post this and see if it would survive. I hope I didn't make the characters too out of character. The song is called La-la-la lainy and I recommend you guys look it up. Enjoy! This is a oneshot btw. ;)
Tavros shuffled around nervously as he twiddled his fingers. His jeans a size or two too big on him but not being able to cover his shoes that were also obviously too big on him. His ancestor had decided to save money by getting clothes for both him and Rufioh that were a little too big on them as he expected that they would have a growth spurt soon.
Ancestors, you may ask? Yes, ancestors. No this isn't a story where the kids won the game, this story takes place in the dream bubbles. Versions of trolls and humans decided that it was boring and lonely to live alone in the afterlife so they made groups and lived together. Trolls lived with their dancestors and ancestors of the alpha trolls, while the humans lived with their other versions. The adults of both species cared for the younger ones and acted as lusus but the really, really important decisions were decided by the kids as they had the biggest authority and more power as they all came from timelines that allowed them to grow, well, for most part.
And if you thought that you can't grow up think again. You can change your appearance, not too much of course, but enough to age.
Tavros lived with his ancestor the Summoner and dancestor Rufioh Nitram. Tavros really liked the Summoner as he was kind and behaved like a good lusus, for most part. He had his faults, but they were easy to overlook. His dancestor on the other hand was a real piece of work. While nice enough, he had some horrible habits and if the humans were to be believed, acted like a typical sibling. According to them you had four kinds of siblings. The first are the ones that are really helpful and sweet. Then there were those that are distant but protective that just acknowledge your presence. After those there are those siblings that are full of shit, they are the ones that love to mess around with the other sibling and sabotage them at every turn. You could almost call them forced kismesis but they aren't. And as last there were those siblings that were all of the above. Rufioh was part of the 'all of the above' with a bit of extra 'real piece of shit that is almost like a kismesis but isn't' added.
Tavros sighed and looked around the room. He and his hive companions were at a party in a dream bubble of one of the buildings of prospit. The humans decided to hold a small party so everyone could bond and it was going pretty well. Troĺl kids and humans were socialising and the adults got along pretty well. Too well at times if you asked him he thought as he watched his ancestor flirt with Mindfang, Vriska's ancestor.
Speaking of Vriska, she was having a riot at the other side of the room with Meenah drinking and teasing, cough terrifying cough, Jake. Meenah, of course, was delighted at this and was there with her every step of the way. Terezi wasn't there to keep her moirail in check as she was busy flirting with Karkat, who was getting mixed signals from her and thus becoming confused, all the while also being somehow hit on by John. But John somehow continues to fail to notice how confused he is making Karkat, which only amused Terezi even more.
Not that Terezi would have helped Jake but she would have toned it down a bit…maybe. Tavros honestly doesn't know as trying to add Terezi or any other troll would really be just a stupid and unpredictable idea. As Tavros watched he saw another figure approach the three.
'And there comes Dirk' he thinks as he watches Jake's face lighten up at the sight of his boyfriend. Dirk doesn't seem to be too happy with the fact that they were harassing his boyfriend, but Tavros didn't really know what was being said as they were quite far away.
The room was golden of course and groups were everywhere. Groups even formed groups and occasionally a member or two broke off for some privacy or to join other groups. Everyone was eating and having fun and Tavros loved the atmosphere. Not only that, but there was one particular thing that caught his eye.
There on the stage like thing in the front of the room was a karaoke machine. Two of the humans, Roxy and Dave, were standing next to it with Feferi and Nepeta. They were chatting quite animatedly with each other. Or at least the girls did. Dave was just standing there trying not to act too much like a dork that tried to act cool but actually is cool. He was failing but nobody said anything about it.
It seemed that he had been staring for far too long as suddenly his dancestor had an arm wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him uncomfortably closer. Rufioh smelled like smoke and he had a bruise on his jaw, which told the world that he just had an encounter with his ex-matesprite that hadn't gone over well. Knowing his dancestors playboy attitude it was probably his fault.
Tavros looked up scowling a scowl that would make Karkat proud and gave his dancestor an annoyed look. His scowl worsened when Rufioh only gave a mischievous smile.
"Soooo you wanna lend me some boonbucks? I kinda lost most of my money playing poker against Rose, Kanaya, Kurloz and Sollux over there." He said while pointing in a certain direction.
Tavros followed the direction and saw said mentioned people sitting at a human poker table. Alpha Rose was over looking them with Alpha Dave. Rose and Kanaya were sitting on one end and Kurloz and Sollux on the other. Rose was looking smug, Kanaya satisfied, Kurloz looked evil and Sollux was cackling like a maniac. In between them was a rapidly paling Cronus who looked very terrified. They made a terrifying group and Tavros wondered what the hell was wrong with his dancestor to even have considered that the idea of joining that table was even remotely sound.
He turned back to his dancestor and immediately told him no. When Rufioh began whining he took a slightly different approach to saying no. And that was by doing it like this: "No! Nope! Nada! Niët! No! N-O! NO! What about no do you not understand? I'm not going to hand you money that I'll probably never see again to you. I need that to bribe Meenah with so that she'll leave me alone."
Tavros watched as the information was absorbed by his dancestor and became even more annoyed when he saw it wasn't going to make Rufioh leave. Rufioh smiled a mischievous smile. "Well how about we make a bet? If you win I'll leave you alone and be your assistant for a week. If I win you will give money for my poker the rest of the night. Deal?" he said smirking.
Tavros eyed him suspiciously. He was different from other Tavros' as he had a lot more confidence and commonsense. But he was still a Tavros so somethings would never change. He thought about the proposal. On one hand, if he lost he'd go bankrupt that night. But on the other hand, if he won Rufioh would leave him in peace and would even act as a servant for a week. Rufioh must really be desperate or overconfident if he proposed something like this. Eventually Tavros caved. "Alright, deal. What do you want me to do?" tavros burst out.
Rufioh smirked victoriously. "You see that device of there on stage next to junior fish empress, cat girl one, two and the Dave human?" he asked. "You mean the karaoke machine?" "Yeah. That's the one! I want you to sing a song in front of everyone and it has to be a love song of some kind." Rufioh told the younger troll. Tavros froze. It was obvious his dancestor had chosen this with the intention of scaring Tavros off. He obviously thought that Tavros would be too scared to go through with it. Well if he thought that he had another thing coming.
Tavros gulped but determinedly walked over to the stage. He approached Dave. "Uhh, hey Dave. Uhm….my dancestor made a bet with me and I have to sing a song on the Karaoke machine. A love song. What kind of songs do we have?" he asked Dave awkwardly. Dave smiled at him while somehow keeping a stoic appearance. "Of course Tavbro. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of any Alternian love songs but I do have a lot of earth music. John, Jade, Rose and I all downloaded all of our favourite songs on our laptops. I of course had the most. I hoarded that shit like a squirrel hoards nuts during autumn to survive the ice cold winter or a crow hoards shiny shit by stealing from people and acting like a dick. So yeah we have music." Dave rambled as he uncaptchalogged his laptop. He handed it over to Tavros. "I'd use your headphones and learn the song lyrics before singing a song. Good luck bro!" he told Tavros before turning back to the girls.
Tavros blinked at how fast that went but shook his head. He walked to a table, sat down, opened the laptop and plugged the headphones in. As he listened to the songs he noticed that earth music was pretty good and he looked for a good song until he suddenly found it. The instant he heard it he immediately thought of Vriska. 'Well, guess I found my song.' he thought.
Everyone was having a good time when suddenly all the lights went off. This scared quite a few people until the stage lights went on. There standing was Tavros Nitram clothed like an earth pop idol. The clothes fitted him well and he looked very handsome. Some girls cat called (Roxy) and some drooled discreetly (Vriska).
"Hey everyone! Uhm. I have a bet with Rufioh going on and he dared me to sing a love song in front of everyone. So I went a step further and decided to dedicate this song to a certain spider girl from Alternia. It isn't necessarily a love song but it's close enough. I guess. Enjoy!" Tavros told the crowd.
Everyone started whispering amongst themselves. Tavros? Singing? This was either going to be mediocre, hilarious or amazing.
The music started playing and Tavros began singing.
She was into hardcore, I was into rock and roll
She was into girls, it was her own form of birth control
She was smoking cigarettes and drinking before five
She was wild, She was fine with being hungover all the time!
Everyone looked surprised at how well Tavros sang. He had obviously been practising the song. They also realised that this song did apply to Vriska or at least most dream bubble versions of her that met Meenah. But it didn't only apply to Vriska. It also applied to Damara and how she acted after Rufioh broke her heart.
She was always at a party, disappointing daddy
Always dating dirtbags, everyone but me
She had lyrics of her favourite song, tattooed on her arm
She was rough, she was fine, she was way out of her mind
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
I love her like hate, I love her like pain,
I need her like a picnic needs the rain
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
Well, this would certainly explain why he said this isn't necessarily a love song. Unless you actually are into those kinds of things of course.
She loved drinking whiskey first thing in the morning,
She would start a fight if you looked at her the wrong way,
Everyday was Halloween, a reason to rebel
She was vile, she was fine with being bitter all the time
At this…..most of the people agreed. While Vriska wasn't a really active drinker, she had no problems doing it. Damara too. And Vriska would indeed either start a fight or just attack you if you cross her somehow. Damara simply doesn't give a shit….for most part. They both also loved to rebel, Vriska more so than Damara, taking a sadistic pleasure out of it by torturing some people by acting horribly mean or just plain ignore rule because she doesn't like them.
And indeed both Vriska and Damara were vile when they wanted to be and had no problems being bitter. Wow. This song was made for them.
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
I love her like hate, I love her like pain
I need her like a picnic needs the rain,
I love her like,
La la la la la la la la la
While Tavros had been singing most started dancing along or headbanging. This song was surprisingly catchy and almost everyone enjoyed it. Everyone but Rufioh that is. Rufioh just stood there with his mouth wide open gaping like a fish at the singing Tavros on stage. 'Ssshhhiiittttt. I gotta be his servant for a week now, aren't I.' He thought in despair.
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
I love her like la la la la la la la la la la
I love her like la la la la la la la la la la
She was smoking cigarettes and drinking before five
She was wild, she was fine with being hungover
I love her like la la la la la la la la la la
I love her like la la la la la la la la la la
I love her like hate, I love her like pain,
I need her like a forest needs a flame
I love her like rage, I love her like shame
I need her like a victim needs the plague
I love her like la la la la la la la la la la
When Tavros finished the song he was met by a great applause from his audience. Jade, John and Roxy were fangirling with some of the troll girls. Some of the adult woman were cooing over how cute Tavros was and the adult men were laughing merrily. The younger teens were impressed by Tavros and chatting amongst themselves. They thought that since Tavros did it so well that it would be fun if they did a competition.
Tavros smirked and walked over to the still gaping Rufioh. "So about that bet. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of your evening." Tavros told him. He then gave Rufioh a very Vriska like smile. "Cause I'll be working you to the bone this week, dearest brother." He said deviously. He decided to use the human term of genetically related organisms that are closely related but not descendant or ancestor. "I'll give you a list of chores tomorrow." Tavros informed Rufioh before he walked past him.
He saw his ancestor the Summoner give him a thumbs up and Tavros gave him a shy but proud smile. The other teens flocked to him and they all began chatting and planning a singing competition. Even some adults were pulled into the mess.
One thing was for sure though, the rest of the party was a complete success.
As they all chatted though,one person voiced an interesting question. "Wait, does this mean you have a flush crush on Vriska or a pitch one?" asked Karkat slightly annoyed at not knowing how he should correct his shipping chart. Everyone looked at Tavros and Vriska. "Uhhmmm." Tavros and Vriska stared at each other. Good question, was it pitch of flushed?
Rufioh sat at a table away from the commotion, drinking some human vodka. "Ugh this week is going to be horrible!" he exclaimed with a hiccup. The summoner who stood next to him patted him on his back. "There, there. It can't be too bad. Out of the three of us, Tavros is probably the nicest. And if it will be terrible anyway, well, you did bring this upon yourself." The summoner told him half comfortingly, half scoldingly. He couldn't believe his pre-scratch version had been so careless but oh well. It was his own fault.
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