Be Like That
Songfic
to "Be Like That" by 3 Doors Down
By Mina
A/N: I really didn't do justice to this song. But I
tried.
He spends his nights in California,
watching
The stars on the big screen
I can't go on like this,
sitting in this cramped little hotel room, watching TV all night and sleeping
all day. I watch the shows, and sometimes I go to the movie theater across the
street. Occasionally I read a newspaper.
And every time, I seem to see his face, grinning back at me, so innocently. So selflessly. So… so much like him, so much like what he was.
He knew that this was not the ideal setting for a fairy tale, not the magical castle in the forest, nor the hut behind the mountains. He wanted it to be, but then again, he was always a dreamer. He always earned for more than what he could have.
He flipped through the channels, banging the broken remote against the scratched and worn bed table. It was once a beautiful glistening oak, but decades of wear had reduced it to a cheap piece of junk, very appropriate for the highway motel setting. The sheets were a light green, smelling of bleach and stale perfume, not at all crisp or new. He had been through worse.
Colin picked up his old school journal. He carried it around with him everywhere; it was his one memorable keepsake, the one memorandum of his school years. On every page there was a picture of Harry. Harry Potter, the great Harry Potter.
Harry never knew his greatness, he never knew what sort of rolemodel he was. Back when Colin was young, he thought that if he couldn't be Harry, he might as well try to be his friend.
Harry never seemed to like him much, though…
But it wasn't very fair, was it? Harry never wanted the greatness, but Colin… he wanted to be known, not as a shadow, not as the little kid with the camera.
He wanted a chance to be great, just like Harry.
Then he lies awake and wonders, why
Can't that be me
It
is past twelve, yet Colin isn't asleep. He twists and turns on the
uncomfortable, lumpy mattress. He has so many things on his mind, so many things
he just can't forget.
Sometimes I wonder if he ever even deserved it, if he ever deserved what he got. The fame, the money, the looks even. He was this perfect star, with the athletic skills, and all the breaks.
I never even had a chance, did I? Did I ever even have half the luck he
did? I never thought of him as lucky back then, you know.
I think I could've done as good a job being a hero as him, maybe better, even. I just never got to try.
Cause in his life he's filled with all
these
Good intentions
Why did I come here, anyway? It was 5 years ago, and they told me that
I'd move on. Here I am, in the same little hotel room, watching the same TV,
sleeping in the same bed.
I remember. They said that coming here was for the best, to just lay low
for a while. Wait for the right people to contact me.
Funny, they never even tried to call me.
Colin picks up the phone, then slams down the receiver. He couldn't call them, they wouldn't care. Who cared about the little kid, about the little runt? The grades didn't matter. Nothing he ever did was as good as Harry. Nothing deserving of his friendship or attention.
He's left a lot of things he'd rather
not
Mention right now
Did she want me to leave? Was it for the best… for them, for me, for what used to be us. There's no "u" in us anymore. Not since she left, that night five short years ago. Strange how you can become a completely different person overnight.
He ran his fingers over the only
non-Potter picture in the scrapbook. It was Harry's girlfriend, of course.
Potter always got who he wanted. And he happened to like her.
The
faded photograph hardly conveyed the red-haired beauty. She was just a skinny
little schoolgirl there, but in Colin's heart, she was… glorious.
But just before he says goodnight, he
looks
Up with a little smile at me and he says
I smile at the faded posters on the shabby walls of the hotel room and drift off to sleep. I dream of what could've been, if the world had been different. If I had a chance. If I could have been like that.
Colin shuts the book, and throws it across the room. His body vibrates with nerve-wrecking sobs. Someone from the next room knocks on the wall and yells for him to quiet down. He silently curses at the wall.
If I could be like that, I would
Give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes
It's morning now. Ten o'clock, yet he's still tossing and turning in the bed. The green covers reek of sweat and tears, an unpleasant combination. The thin curtains barely block the thick sunlight, and a ray falls onto his face. He wrinkles his nose and tries to ignore the light.
I would've given up so much
to be like him back then. I would have enjoyed the popularity, the chances…
the spotlight. I don't have issues about this. I just want to know what it's
like.
What's it like to be respected? Adored? To have a personality… The hero, the brave one, the one who gets the girl. Not the little kid who hangs around, wallowing in the glory of his idol.
If I could be like that, what would I do,
What would I do
He gets up, and dresses. The same old pair of black sweatpants, same stained white t-shirt. He washes it in the rusty sink once in a while, just to reduce the smell. He doesn't want people staring at him wherever he goes.
Not that it helps.
Now and dreams we run
He walks down to the park, holding the scalding cup of coffee in his hands. It's his breakfast, the only meal he gets until 8 PM. He doesn't have much money, though what they send him he uses wisely.
She spends her days up in the north park,
Watching the people as they pass
She lies on the hard, wooden bench, the cold morning dew settling on her worn jacket. She's used to being wet and cold… she's had to deal with worse things. The sun shines down on her in its sickeningly cheerful way, warming her eyelids and chapping her lips.
So here I am. All the way in the United States, all the way here. And
to think that I could be back at home, back with my family.
Not that I'd be welcome back, of course, but still…
I look at the people passing me, giving me strange looks. Of course, I
don't belong here. The people, wearing business suits and nice clothes, with
their cell phones and lap tops, giving strange looks to the ratty looking woman
on the bench. Like I'm a tramp.
All the way to the United States. For what? To find him? To say that I
was sorry, and that he was right? That I never should have run off with Harry
like that
I know what he'll do. He'll smile sadly at me, and put his arm around
his beautiful wife and two kids, and say, "Of course Ginny, but we're over
that now. I'm happy where I am. You should be, too". And he'll be sweet
and caring, while breaking my heart.
And all she wants is just a little piece
of
This dream, is that too much to ask
It's midday now, and her stomach rumbles. Her hair looks almost brown now, the once red locks covered in dust and grease. She sits with her chin on her knees, curled up on the asphalt. A child passes by and looks at her with wide, green eyes. They remind her of Harry a little.
Harry, Harry, Harry. Why did I ever…?
With a safe home, and a warm bed, on a
Quiet little street
She has a dream now, a sort of day dream. She's not all dirty and ragged, but in a flowing white summer dress. In her little house, in a small suburban town, with her kids and loving husband. Could she have ever had that with Harry?
He… he… He didn't care about me. All those years I wasted on
him, he never loved me. Especially after that… that… woman…
I mean, to walk in on your fiancé, half naked and in bed with some
model… That tramp. I took a pregnancy test that morning, too. The jerk got me
pregnant!
Yes, the muggle abortion cost the last of my money. But bringing a child
into the world, with that…that…man…
Death is a better option.
All she wants is just that something to
Hold on to, that's all she needs
Now she walks back to her bench in the park, wondering how long it will take for the police to show up and kick her out. They'd surely be getting some complaints about her loitering.
People, especially muggles, just don't understand.
Well, I have to find him. The Ministry records said that he was still
somewhere in this city… I just have to find him, his address or something.
He'll be listed in the phone book… maybe.
Yeah!
Colin waited. He didn't know what he was waiting for, or hoping for, or wishing for. Well… deep down inside, he knew.
He wanted her, he wanted to hear her voice again, and see her face, and feel the long red hair, which flowed down to her waist. No matter how much she changed, he would always recognize that hair. It was so long and silky… unforgettable.
If I could be like that,
I would give anything
"One ticket to LA," she as she searched for muggle money.
"That would be $36.50," the cold voice told her. Her lip quivered. She had only $7, and she still had to buy breakfast. She wandered away from the cashier, and into the streets. A sign caught her eye.
They'd give her money for that?
She didn't want to do it. No, she didn't. But did she really have a choice? This was for the best…
She gulped and walked into the doorway.
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do
What would I do
Colin walked into the bus terminal. He'd buy a plane ticket, with the last of his money, and go back to England. He'd find her, and ask for her back. She wouldn't want him, of course… but he had to try. It would be for the best, after all. For the best.
Just to live one day, in those shoes
If I could be like that, what would I do
What would I do
Los Angeles. I'm finally here. I have money, I have food, and I have
my destination. I'm going to make it! I'm actually going to make it!
Ginny Weasley munched on a cheeseburger. She was ravenous, but she had enough money now to eat her fill. She even had enough money left to buy herself a new jacket (though a very cheap one). At least she wouldn't have to meet Colin wearing that ratty old thing. Besides, it belonged to Harry once.
She ran her fingers through her hair, now cut short. Just below her ears. It was painful to part with those locks, but they gave her $75 for them. And she looked like a completely different person now.
I'm falling into this, in dreams
we run away
The woman hurried through the terminal, knocking people over, and tripping herself. She pulled on a baseball cap to keep the light out of her eyes, and tried to seem inconspicuous.
Colin tapped his foot impatiently, and gripped his 3rd class ticket. To London, with a stop in New York City, it said.
Someone almost knocked him off his feet, causing him to lose grip on the ticket. He lunged forward to catch it, relief flooding over him as his fingers touched the rough paper. He looked back angrily at the person that pushed him. All he could see was a thin, running figure, a baseball cap on his (or her? Colin couldn't tell) head.
He felt a sense of foreboding. Something important was about to happen… something to change his life. He turned back. It seemed as though the crowd had parted, but all he could see was that running figure in the distance. Something familiar about it… Colin shrugged the feeling off. He didn't want to miss his plane.
Ginny felt someone watching her. She knew she should turn back, look and see what was happening… But she was just so intent on her goal. If she turned back, out of mere curiosity, it would be like betrayal. She should commit now, stay intent on one goal. And that was to find Colin Creevey.
She ran outside the terminal and looked around. A plane was taking off, and Ginny felt her heart sink as it flew off.
Stupid superstition. Nothing's wrong, soon I'll find him…
She ran on.
On the plane, Colin immersed himself in a paperback novel. He wasn't paying attention to the plot, he was just flipping the pages in a daze. One thought kept crossing his mind.
Nothing's wrong, he said to himself, soon I'll find her.
I'm falling into this, in dreams
we run away
A/N: I know the end's a bit rushed, but I just sort of lost feel on the story. I hope it turned out ok. I rather like it, actually… So please tell me what you think.
-Mina, 1/21/01