SOUTH PARK 3000 PILOT

NOTE: These are clones of people from South Park in 1000 Years, but still they belong to Matt and Trey, and this is in 8th grade

Chapter One

Beating people up for a living

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"Okay, kids in seats!" Mr. Garrison yelled. "We have a new student. Class, this is Vean Redding. Try to not be too mean."

I looked around. There was a fat kid, some asshole who was flipping me off, and a kid who was jumping in his seat. I took a seat in the back of the classroom so that I wouldn't have to be near the fat one.

"Now who can tell me the year day that The Alamo started?" said Mr. Garrison

The fat kid raised his hand "1841?"

"You're stupid as you are fat!" I said "It was 1836!"

"I'm not fat, buttfucker!"

"Stop trying to make yourself feel better, fatass! You'll have a heart attack."

"Thank you for insulting Eric, Vean, but it won't be necessary."

"Dude, why is your skin so white?" asked the kid next to me.

"I'm albino when I'm in the cold." I answered. "Even though this isn't very cold compared to Alaska."

"You're from Alaska?"

"Of course not, I'm from the cold part of Connecticut."

The day went on until lunchtime. I got there early, so I sat in the corner of the room. As the lunchroom was filled, I noticed some kids wearing black coming towards me. When they were near me, the tall one said "Are you goth?"

"What the fuck?" I replied "Of course not. Why would I be a faggy little goth? Why don't you go smoke somewhere else?"

"Why? Because this is the exit to the place where we smoke, so move you conformist douche."

"Why?"

"Because I'll kick your ass." and he swung a punch at me. I ducked, and punched him right in the nose. He fell back, just as another one with a red highlight in his hair got ready to attack me. While I waited for him to attack, a crowd amassed. I punched at his head to make him vulnerable, and then I used my other hand to strike at his windpipe. It hit him there and he fell.

"Anyone else?"

Some people backed away, but one person stepped forward. He was the fat one.

"If I win, I get all your money, asshole, but if you win, you get all my money."

"Fine. Anyone want to place bets?" I said

"I bet $10 on Cartman." Said the one with the green hat.

"Kyle, don't bet on Cartman. You know he'll get his ass kicked."

"We all know that the goths are weak. Come on, Stan. Bet on someone."

"Fine. I'll bet $5 on Cartman." Said Stan

After a few more people bet, I got ready to fight.

"Ready. Set. Go!" said Stan.

I ran up to Cartman and kicked him in the nuts. He fell down. I kept kicking him in the head and stomach until his whole face was covered in blood. Then in a finishing move, I took a water bottle and put it on his mouth, then stepped on it. It broke off at least 2 of his teeth.

"I win!" I yelled. Everyone gave me their money. Kyle gave me some extra money.

"What is this, mmkay!"

Oh God, I thought, a teacher.

"Who did this to you, Eric."

The bloody mass pointed to me.

"What's your name, young man, mmkay?"

"Vean."

"Well Vean, I'm very disappointed in you, mmkay. Your first day, and you're already in trouble, mmkay. I'm going to call your parents and have them pick you up, mmkay."

"Don't have parents."

"Well then you have in school suspension for the next 3 weeks, mmkay."

"Mmkay."

The rest of the day went smoothly. When I got home, I took out the money I had earned. Sixty-seven bucks. Not bad. I thought I got more money, so I searched for more in my pockets, but all I could come up with was a piece of paper that said Red- 8502180 Call Me!

Wow. I beat somebody up, I got money, and someone likes me in one day. That's a winning streak!