The Story Goes
"You can't expect all of that to evaporate just because I love you."
Laura stared blankly ahead, still in shock, with those words pounding in her head. She's thinking about the three words dangling at the end, still trying to figure out the weight of them, every angle and every edge. She's thinking about Carm's fingers murmuring across the back of her neck. She's thinking about how everything's gone wrong but she loves Carm too. And she never told her. What an idiot.
The story goes, you fall in love and it always screws everything up. Especially if you fall in love with a vampire. God, but wasn't Carm supposed to have changed?
Laura made her way to the refrigerator and grabbed the bottle of vodka that Carm sometimes used to mix with her blood martinis. Maybe she could drown her problems with alcohol. She brought the bottle and a glass over to the couch, pouring herself a brimful with trembling fingers and downs it as quickly as she can. Her hands were shaking so much she spills almost as much vodka as she pours into the glass. After another try, she gives up and drinks straight from the bottle like it's a lifeline. A wrenching sob rips its way out of her throat. Her hands shake and the bottle of vodka shatters on the floor, the clear liquid seeping into the richly embroidered carpet.
The flood of tears finally spills over, threatening to drown everything. Her chest shakes and heaves like an earthquake accompanying the newly formed fault line in her heart. She tells herself it's just the alcohol, just the vodka mixing up her emotions because no one should be able to go from zero to a full-on breakdown in a matter of seconds.
Slowly, the tears run themselves dry, and the hiccupping, convulsing sobs that wracked her body leave her exhausted. She sinks into the folds of the couch, feeling a bone deep relief relaxing into the warmth of the black leather cushions. Black leather folds that were highly reminiscent of Carm's clothes… god, who was the nostalgic idiot now.
Laura wakes up with World War III pounding in her head. Or at least that's what it feels like, she's never been drunk before, and this was her first hangover. Her eyes flutter open and she winces at the knives of light that pierce into her eyes. Alcohol sucked. For a moment, she thinks, no, hopes, that maybe all of it had been a dream, but she finds a shard of glass tangled in her hair and remembers everything. The break-up. The break-down. And not to mention that she still had to save the university from an anglerfish god. She groaned loudly.
"Looks like someone's having their first hangover."
A rush of surprise and hopeful adrenaline shoots through her body. And of course, she falls off of the couch in the clumsiest manner possible. What the- Carmilla came back? She would never mistake that sultry voice for anyone else, but she had assumed that they were entirely done, never to see each other again, or at least for a couple of months. A thousand hopeful and angry and terrified thoughts rush through her vodka-ravaged brain, trying to come up with a witty comeback or some sort of apology or argument or-
"Don't get too hopeful, I didn't come back for you, cupcake, I stole this apartment fair and square, you really think I'd give it up?"
The cupcake is still splayed on the alcohol-soaked carpet, shards of glass tangled in her hair. She slowly registers the meaning of her words, searching for the right things to say back but all she can manage is a sound between a groan and a grunt. So… Carm was going to stay here, but… co-habitation with her ex was definitely not an option. Not a healthy option.
First things first, Laura had to get up, she made a futile attempt to get on her feet and feebly clawed at the side of the couch.
Carm sighed and walked over, grabbing Laura's hand and pulling her up with minimal effort. Mortals and their imbecilic abilities… but even she was startled at how, well, how terrible Laura looked.
Laura saw her expression and cringed inwardly, God knows she probably looked like a mess. Puffy eyes, birds-nest hair, she was in no condition to confront anyone. And she hated that she was self-absorbed enough to still care about what she looked like. But how could she not in front of Carm?
Even so, she croaked out a dazed "Heyy.."
Smooth, sundance, smooth.
"You really need to take a shower."
As Laura stumbled into the comfort of a warm shower, clarity began to seep into her thoughts and she once again fully realized how screwed she was. And what she had to do. What she had to say to Carm. She tilted her head under the soft spray and felt the rivulets of water mingle with the salt of her tears.
She didn't really want to wear her vodka-stained clothes from last night, so she just threw on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She walked out wringing her damp hair, feeling better and worse at the same time. Carm had her back turned to her, looking out the window, even though there weren't any stars out this time.
"Hey."
Carm looks back but says nothing, her face purposefully expressionless.
"I-I… I'm sorry, Carm. About everything."
An eyebrow raises, just barely.
"You were right. About… about how I can't expect you to change just because you love me. About how love means different things to people, and I..I love you too, Carm."
Both eyebrows are raised and just for a second, she thinks she can see Carm breaking a little bit inside.
"But… I love my friends too, and I love this stupid school even though it's messed up in so many ways, and… I love us. But you can't expect all of that other love to evaporate because I love you too so I have to save this school and, you're right, w-we can't be together." Her voice is tumbling and nearly breaks at the end.
Carm's eyes are shining, and Laura's pretty sure it's not just the sunlight's reflection.
She takes a deep, shaky breath. "This apartment belongs to you so… I'll move out by Thursday midnight, I-I think I'll need to borrow some of your suitcases to move my broadcasting equipment, is that okay?"
Fuck, Laura's can feel her voice quaver and go uncontrollably high, she can feel the tears burning under the surface.
"I'm so sorry, C-" Her voice snaps in half, and she breaks at the seams, having yet another breakdown within 24 hours. She was so weak.
The world was blurry again, and this time, not from alcohol. She crumpled to the ground and suddenly felt someone holding her. Carm. She cried harder and slowly realized that all of the tears weren't just from her.
"I'm sorry too, Laura." Her voice was wet with emotion. The two of them clung onto each other like their lives depended on it. Maybe their lives did depend on it.