Eye to eye.
She had been sitting all night long staring at her glass of wine, still half full. She continued to run her hands over the glass, observing the red liquid inside. As she was hypnotized, she continued to repeat that movement feeling stupid. Stupid because she was wasting her first free night after too much time. Stupid because she wasn't with Arizona.
She felt her blue eyes on her and, as trapped in a scene in slow motion, she saw again her lips open in a soft smile that shone on her face. Sighing heavily, she slid the glass from her hands, resting it. That thought did not make her live. For the first time she had discovered the true meaning of phrases like "I cannot breathe without you" or "I cannot sleep because you're always in my mind." Yes, Arizona Robbins had become her oxygen and her only dream.
So she undid her hair, and took one last look in the mirror before going out. She went to the hospital just to see her. Maybe she wouldn't have the courage to talk to her - not even to say hello - but at least she would see her. Her mouth, her sweet eyes, her blonde hair, her pink scrub cap with butterflies. Her everything.
Callie was wandering in the hospital, still looking all around. She took the stairs to avoid to crossing someone in the elevator and paused on the stairs, remembering Arizona's lips on hers. The upteenth sigh, until she reached the peds' department. She stood motionless behind a glass window to observe her, without exposing herself - without being seen. Arizona ran undisturbed in the hallway on her skates, stopping from room to room to give reassuring smiles to her patients that were awake.
Then, something changed. There was a pause and Arizona moved in Callie's direction. The brunette stood there, under the blue eyes which slowly burned her skin.
Arizona seemed to have seen her and now, slowly, she was closer to her while Callie was breathing heavily. She could not move staring at the Arizona's lips which ended up with the hatch in an uncertain smile. And that gesture, that mouth, gave her the strength to turn around and start running. She moved quickly through the corridors of the hospital, until she felt she could no longer hold back the tears. So, she opened the nearest door from her, shut it with a great thud behind her. She fell to the ground sobbing and without stopping to cry she curled in on herself, exhausted.
Oh God, how she hated to want her so much.
She found Callie lying on the ground, so she moved closer to hear her breathing.
Arizona pulled back Callie's locks behind her ear because they were covering her eyes, then she lay down next to her. She stroked her head, she touched her lips with her fingers and finally she clenched her hand into a fist, as if it was wrong to be with Callie. Then, the pager started to beep.
Arizona sat up, looking for her pager in the pocket of the coat, to turn it off as quickly as possible, but she found the screen was blank and so she realized that the emergency was not for her.
She posed again her eyes on Callie who opened her lips, letting out a wishper and searching for Arizona's leg, where she leaned her head. She called her. She called her name and returned to doze off, while Arizona stared at her in ecstasy. She said nothing. She did nothing. She just stayed for a few minutes.
Her hand resting just on Callie's heart meanwhile the pager sounded. Then she decided to wake her up. Sweet and fast at the same time, she put her lips on Callie's ones capturing them completely. Callie, keeping closed eyes, abandone herself into the kiss, letting her hands clutch Arizona's face. She didn't want to let her go.
The blonde girl let out a short sob, stopped by her hand, but loud enough to wake up Callie from her rest. Arizona left behind at her back the girl, running away.
The only thing that left in the room was the pager's noise and Callie's facial expression seeing a white coat and a blonde hair disappear behind the door.
Dream or reality? She ran her hands over her face, meeting a tear on her cheek. She stood up to control herself better in the mirror: her lips were red and swollen, like she was ready for a kiss. She waved a hand to touch her mouth and on the sleeve of her sweater, she smelt the peach smell.
Arizona had been there with her..
She came back home after an endless day of fractures and broken bones. She was so tired that she didn't even have the strength to think. She opened the door, slipped the keys on the counter and turned on the light. Callie's face was painted with an uncertain expression when she crossed Arizona's eyes, sitting cross-legged on the couch. She jumped to her feet when the brunette tried to ask for an explanation and started to wave her arms. She placed her hands on her temples, sides, and finally left them in mid-air, interrupted by Callie.
- Hello - Callie let it out, standing in front of her, without adding another word.
- Hello – Arizona replied with equal sweetness.
-You .. you .. what ..? - Callie put a hand on her forehead and left the sentence hanging.
- Oh, ah, yes. Yes, I went to leave the keys, but .. but now I'm off - Arizona said the whole sentence in a confused way, without taking a breath. As if she was not convinced.
- Ok – it was last Callie's word and then there was a pause. They wanted to be together so much at the cost of clinging themselves to a stupid "ok", but they both knew it was that everything was over. It was their decision and Callie was the first to remember it - Arizona, look, it's .. it's difficult, ok? I know, I know, but .. - the brunette looked at the blonde's lifeless eyes sighing - Just in case you have something that belongs to me, you can leave it with Mark? You know, to make things a bit easier .. -
- Oh. Oh, yes, I had thought, but I. .. sure .. yeah, ok. Sorry .. -
- No, no, it was just .. -
- Ok, I understand. Ok -Arizona snapped. She knew that both were tired of giving explanations, words. So Callie merely a new "ok" and moved away from the entrance to allow the blonde to reach the door. Callie, at the center of the room, tied up her hair into a ponytail, while Arizona was still a moment clung to the output. She put on her coat and took the first step to exit. Then she stopped in her tracks.
- No! - she suddenly said - No! It is not ok! – Arizona raised her voice and banged forcefully the door behind her claiming Callie's attention.
- What .. what's wrong? - said the brunette, slightly alarmed, while Arizona approached like a fury. She made her go back to the couch and forced her to sit down, straddling over her.
She grabbed her face in her hands and kissed her without delay with passion and strength, then gently. She slid her fingers on Callie's neck dissolving her pony tail. Then they parted remaining to look surprised, as if they had just found.
- What does it .. - Callie tried to say, but it was too late to pretend they didn't love each other.
Arizona smiled languidly, placing a finger on her lips.
- I love you – she had begun her speech - I cannot live without you – she started to kiss her between a pause and another, as if Callies was her breath and the was kiss the apnea – I know, these are all discounted sentences.. – she whispered while she was taking Callie to the bedroom.
They found themselves on the bed, looking into each other's eyes, without words.
Callie wrapped her hands around Arizona's ones while their legs were sarching for each other. Arizona didn't want to stop that eye contact. She was telling to Callie all that had taken place inside of her. In that moment Callie bacame the best reader in whole world and Arizona, her favourite book, the one that she knew by heart: every quote, every verb, every word.