So I read a wonderful piece about Emily coping with the events in Colorado, and decided to show the other side of that coin. Here's the result.
Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is not mine, obviously. Also: Spoiler Alert for "Minimal Loss."
"Reid. I need you to listen to me. What Cyrus did to me; it was not your fault. It was my decision, and I'd do it again. You understand me?"
Actually, he didn't. Those fateful words kept ringing in his ears, as though they were on a timer—it's me, it's me, it's me, it's me. He could still feel the surprise wash over his face as he'd heard them.
What are you thinking? he'd wanted to cry out the second those words escaped her lips. Let me take it, Emily—I can handle it!
And yet, she'd done it anyway. Reid remembered watching helplessly as Cyrus had dragged her out of the underground storeroom by her hair. His heart had ached as he'd heard the vicious beating Emily had suffered, the crashing of glass and the pounding of walls.
I should have taken it. I should have been the one to get hurt. Not Emily…
The truth of it was, he'd prepared himself for it. Reid had known that someone would get hurt, and he'd prepared for him to take the brunt of it. It wasn't hard. After all, he'd been in that position before. The walls were concrete instead of wood, the man with the gun pointed at him wasn't suffering a psychotic break and the magazine had been fully loaded, but he could take it.
And then those words. It's me. Two little words had changed everything. Even now, as Emily sat across from him, he could still see the remnants of her decision—the black eye, the bruises—and he hated himself for not speaking up first.
I could have spared you this, he thought as his eyes flickered a couple times from the pages of his book. It would've been okay.
Another set of words raced through Reid's mind. "God will forgive me for what I must do." These were words that had been spoken by a very sane sociopath; one who could have easily pulled the trigger and not thought twice about it. He wouldn't have missed. The sight of a gun barrel pointed at him was nothing new to Reid, certainly—so why had she…
Then it hit him, like a ton of bricks falling off a seventh-story roof. Smartest kid in the room, and it still took this long to figure it out. It had nothing to do with punishment or being strong enough. It had everything to do with her trying to spare him yet another round of excruciating pain and tortured nightmares brought on by a madman. Reid looked on at Emily, now asleep, and slowly allowed himself to accept her decision.
Thanks, Emily, he thought to himself as he began to focus his attention towards his book, a very soft smile of gratitude playing across his lips.
A/N: The piece I played off of is called "Second Guess," by 1dStraight Curve. I recommend that piece very highly.