Pretty Princess Rhapsody
(Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
Parody by Kristen (Serge) Josserand
Ian:
Am I in real life?
Am I just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide.
No escape from my pretty face.
Open your eyes,
Look up to my mirror and see!
I'm just a pretty boy,
I need no surgery.
Because it's easy come, never go.
Always high, never low.
Anyway my hair blows doesn't really matter to me.
Pretty me.
Random Onlooker:
Ian just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Called him ugly, now he's dead.
Ian, life had just begun.
But now you've gone and blown his head away.
Ian, Oo-oo-oo-oo.
He didn't mean to make you cry.
You'll be back to normal this time tomorrow.
Carry on, carry on.
Ian:
He doesn't really matter.
Too late, my time has come.
I send shivers down my spine.
Body's pretty all the time.
Goodbye everybody,
I'm too good for you.
You're all just not as pretty as I can be.
Mirror! Oo-oo-oo-oo.
Tell me I'm so fine!
Tell me the world was glad I was born at all!
Chorus:
I see a pretty silhouette-o of a boy,
Princess Ian! Princess Ian!
Will you do the Nutcracker?
Pretty pretty lace skirt,
Very very enlightening me!
Princess Ian! Princess Ian!
Princess Ian you're so fine.
From head to toe!
Mirror:
So, so.
[Ian grabs the mirror none too gently.]
Ian: Mirror: I'm just a pretty boy; I'm just a poor mirror, Everybody wants me! Please don't abuse me!
Chorus:
He's just a poor mirror from a mirror factory,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
Mirror:
Easy come, easy go. will you let me go?
Ian:
Tell me I'm great! Or I will not let you go.
Mirror:
Let me go!
Ian:
Say I'm pretty! Or I will not let you go!
Chorus:
Let him go!
Ian:
Say I'm a god! Or I will not let you go!
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me go!
Ian:
Will not let you go.
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me go!
Ian:
Will not let you go.
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me goooooo!
Ian:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Mirror:
Oh Princess Ian, Princess Ian. let me go!
You're more grand than what a god could put aside for you.
For you.
For you!
Ian:
So you think you can doubt me and shampoo my hair?
So you think you can praise me and tell me I'm fair?
[Throws the mirror aside.]
Oh baby, I'm so pretty baby!
Just gotta get out, you just gotta get right out of me.
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see.
Nothing really matters.
Nothing really matters.
But me.
(Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
Parody by Kristen (Serge) Josserand
Ian:
Am I in real life?
Am I just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide.
No escape from my pretty face.
Open your eyes,
Look up to my mirror and see!
I'm just a pretty boy,
I need no surgery.
Because it's easy come, never go.
Always high, never low.
Anyway my hair blows doesn't really matter to me.
Pretty me.
Random Onlooker:
Ian just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Called him ugly, now he's dead.
Ian, life had just begun.
But now you've gone and blown his head away.
Ian, Oo-oo-oo-oo.
He didn't mean to make you cry.
You'll be back to normal this time tomorrow.
Carry on, carry on.
Ian:
He doesn't really matter.
Too late, my time has come.
I send shivers down my spine.
Body's pretty all the time.
Goodbye everybody,
I'm too good for you.
You're all just not as pretty as I can be.
Mirror! Oo-oo-oo-oo.
Tell me I'm so fine!
Tell me the world was glad I was born at all!
Chorus:
I see a pretty silhouette-o of a boy,
Princess Ian! Princess Ian!
Will you do the Nutcracker?
Pretty pretty lace skirt,
Very very enlightening me!
Princess Ian! Princess Ian!
Princess Ian you're so fine.
From head to toe!
Mirror:
So, so.
[Ian grabs the mirror none too gently.]
Ian: Mirror: I'm just a pretty boy; I'm just a poor mirror, Everybody wants me! Please don't abuse me!
Chorus:
He's just a poor mirror from a mirror factory,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity!
Mirror:
Easy come, easy go. will you let me go?
Ian:
Tell me I'm great! Or I will not let you go.
Mirror:
Let me go!
Ian:
Say I'm pretty! Or I will not let you go!
Chorus:
Let him go!
Ian:
Say I'm a god! Or I will not let you go!
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me go!
Ian:
Will not let you go.
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me go!
Ian:
Will not let you go.
Chorus/Mirror:
Let him/me goooooo!
Ian:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Mirror:
Oh Princess Ian, Princess Ian. let me go!
You're more grand than what a god could put aside for you.
For you.
For you!
Ian:
So you think you can doubt me and shampoo my hair?
So you think you can praise me and tell me I'm fair?
[Throws the mirror aside.]
Oh baby, I'm so pretty baby!
Just gotta get out, you just gotta get right out of me.
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see.
Nothing really matters.
Nothing really matters.
But me.