Alright. I know what you're thinking. Why am I starting yet another story when I have… (What is it now?) four others already in progress?

Because I can bitches!!! Muhahaha. Ok. I'm done being maniacal. The stress is getting to me. The thing is… I wanted to write this… and so I am. I'm putting "Love to the Tune of a Country Song" and "Don't Panic" oh hold. (You may have noticed my lack of updates…) I'm finishing "Abbreviated and Un-fabricated" THIS week and I'm going to really work on "Former Child Star." OK so, maybe I'm a bit crazy, but I'm also impulsive and have the impulse to write this. Football season always makes me want to write a new story.

So here it is: A fractured tale of "Emma" and a few tears shed for a lack of Brady Quinn in ND football.

PS Kaden is inspired by Riley Skinner. Riley Skinner grew up in my hometown, but attended the preppy private school counterpart of my own high school… (As did Timmy Tebow, but he played at Nease… our rival school) and so we never met. He's a god around here, especially at Bolles (where he went to school). Anyway he just happens to also be the heir to a dairy franchise around here and is worth millions of dollars. He now plays starting QB for Wake Forest and is… very cute. Kade is Riley… meets Timmy… with a little bit of Brady Quinn thrown in for good luck. Basically that means he kicks ass.

My Knight in Shining Spandex

When Morgan Met Kaden

When I was three years old I had a dog. His name was Wally and he was wiener dog. I loved him like the sibling I never had. I made my father tote him around with us everywhere we went. I would make Nanny sew him clothes and I'd dress him up. But Wally had been in the family for quite awhile and he was beginning to get old. By the time I was four, Wally had gone to doggy-heaven.

To take the place of my beloved wiener dog, I befriended Kaden Wright.

Kaden was a quiet little boy in my daycare. He had really long eyelashes. I don't really remember his eyelashes, but he still has those really long eyelashes and so I assume they always existed. Whenever I picture Kade as a child, all I think of are those eyelashes. Whenever I see old pictures of us as children, all I see are Kade's eyelashes.

Ok. Enough about Kade's eyelashes. This is only partially a story about Kade's eyelashes. There's more to it than that… Although I still like to blame those damn long, beautiful eyelashes.

Arg. Why on earth can't I stop talking about Kade's eyelashes? To be honest, I'm so used to those damn eyelashes that I hardly even see them anymore. Ok. That's a lie. I always see those eyelashes. They're beautiful eyelashes. Oh, if Kade heard me waxing on about his eyelashes, he'd probably laugh at me for an entire week.

Moving on. Wally died; I was sad; I befriended Kade with the beautiful eyelashes. I took Kade and made him into my new Wally. Wherever Dad and I went around town, I made sure that Kade went as well. When Kade went through his "girls have cooties" phase I gave him a cootie shot and made him a promise that I'd never ever try to kiss him, and we stayed friends. When I went through my "boys are so cute" phase, Kade would run away from me on the playground and, once again, I promised to never kiss him, and we stayed friends. When Kade went through his "girls have breasts, and I'd like to see them" phase, I bought a good sports bra, and we stayed friends. When I went through my "like ohmigod we're like in High School" phase, Kade slapped me on the cheek and told me to never say the word "like" again, and we stayed friends. When Kade went through his "I'm so cool because I play football, Big Man on Campus" phase, I slapped him (partially for payback about him slapping me back in Freshman year) and told him if he ever started dating a cheerleader, I'd never speak to him again, and we stayed cheerleader-less friends.

And that's how it went. Kade was an even better friend than Wally, because Kade never died. Although, Wally was much softer and cuddlier; Kade had way too much muscle and we were never those weirdly touchy friends that cuddled in a strictly platonic way. We always made sure to keep our grade school promises and never kissed. In fact, we never even thought about kissing. We made it all the way through high school and still managed to maintain our friendship, just like we were in day care again. I got accepted to the University of Florida and let the idea of a Bright Futures, full scholarship sway me out of my out-of-state college dreams. Kade got offers for football scholarships to basically every school in the country. We both ended up in Gainsville, Florida: Home of the Gators.

And that's where we are now: The University of Florida in our final year of school. I don't know what will happen to us after this, but I've been friends with Kaden Wright since I was four years old, I wouldn't let a little thing like "the real world" stop that.

Kaden went pro and Morgan jumped off the deep end… and they stayed friends? God. I can only hope.

Thoughts? Please! Please have thoughts! I'm suffering from review withdrawal.