Disclaimer: Don't own Castle or anything relating to it.
It's been almost a year to the day since the bombing case, the case where Richard Castle finally decided to leave the NYPD and worst of all, he didn't even seem to care enough to say goodbye in person. Kate walked out of the elevator the morning after that day, finding a cup of coffee on her desk. She smiled, knowing it meant that Castle was hanging around here somewhere. She slipped off her black leather jacket and hung it around the back of her swivel chair, that's when she noticed it. A crisp white envelope sat beside the travelers mug with a single word written across it in Castle's loopy handwriting. "Kate"
Kate tore it open as the elevator dinged behind her, Ryan and Esposito exited the square cab and made their way over to Ryan's desk to continue the conversation they were having. The letter which wasn't much of a letter at all read but one sentence.
"I have all the research I will ever need. Goodbye. -R"
The letter went limp in Kate's hands as she struggled not to let the gathering tears fall down her pale cheeks. She took in a deep breath, crumpled the piece of paper and threw it halfway across the room. She wiped furiously at her eyes before running to the women's bathroom to let out the tears. She had been too late.
Now, about a year later, she sat at her desk finishing up the last of her paperwork for the day when she looked up and saw the boys with their heads together, murmuring about something. Esposito ripped the piece of paper that was in Ryan's hand out of it and smacked his partner's head with the offending envelope.
At this point, Beckett was quite curious as to what her coworkers and friends were up to so of course she pushed herself out of her chair and quietly made her way over to her team, pressing her back against the pillar that was situated next to Ryan's desk just in time to catch Esposito's last sentence.
"No, you idiot, we can't tell her about this!" He whispered furiously, tossing the envelope on the desk in front of him.
"Tell me what?" Beckett came out from behind the structure and crossed her arms over her chest, peering curiously at her boys.
"Aah!" Esposito exclaimed as he stumbled against the desk. "Nothing." He finally said, trying to sound nonchalant, when he recovered.
Beckett narrowed her eyes and glanced over at Ryan, who looked extremely nervous. She pulled her mouth to one side and looked at the envelope on the desk that Esposito was trying, and failing miserably, to cover up with a magazine. "Give it to me." she held out her hand expectantly.
Esposito laughed nervously and decided to play dumb which he knew never worked when it came to Beckett, or anyone for that matter.
"Give you what?"
Beckett gave him a look that said "I'm not stupid, give it to me or I'll shoot you." She pushed her hand in his direction more forcefully. "Give. Me. The. Envelope." She inched forward slightly with each word, making her appear scarier than she already was on a daily basis, especially since Castle left.
Esposito's gaze travelled between the envelope and Kate's hand before reluctantly handing it over. Kate's eyes skittered over the neat lettering before opening the already teared envelope, skimming over the pale pink calligraphy quickly. Her breath quickened as she shoved the invitation to Castle's wedding back into Esposito's chest, causing him to stumble slightly, and stormed off in the direction of the bathroom.
Kate checked her mail every ten minutes every day for the next week after Esposito and Ryan got their invitations. Who was she kidding? Of course she didn't get invited to his wedding, and she knew this, but for some reason she still felt the need to go out and peer inside her mail box every chance she got. When she got home to her apartment that evening she was ready to finally except that the love of her life, her partner, and her best friend was getting married to another woman and this time it was probably going to be the last. After all, third time's a charm.
She peeled off her leather jacket and threw it on her couch, along with her car keys. She toed off her high heels and reached for her cell phone that was resting on the kitchen counter, she must have forgotten to put it in her pocket this morning when she raced out the door.
She unlocked her phone as she pulled her last bottle of wine out of the fridge. 'I need to go shopping soon,' she thought as she noticed she had two missed calls and a text from Lanie, she looked at the text first.
"I know this may not be the best idea in the world, but I wanted to ask if you'd be my plus one for Writer boy's wedding." It read. Kate frowned as she stared down at the phone in her hand before setting the bottle on the counter. She quickly typed out a response before deleting it just as fast. Instead she dialed Lanie's number and put the phone up to her ear.
"Hey girl," Lanie replied when she picked up on the third ring.
"Hey Lanie, I just got your text." Kate snugly placed the phone between her shoulder and ear as she pulled out a wine glass and poured the remains of the bottle into her glass.
"Oh, yeah about tha-" Kate cut her off.
"I want to go." She said quickly.
"What?"
"I said, I want to go." She stared down at the small puddle of wine at the bottom of the glass pitifully before downing it.
"Uhm... Okay, if that's what you really want." Lanie sounded equal parts nervous and hesitant about this whole thing.
"It is, pick me up at four thirty on the day of." Kate said, not giving Lanie any time to argue before she hung up and sighed, placing her head in her hands and leaning against the island counter, holding herself up by her elbows. Kate decided the best way to get over Castle was to know that he was happier with this woman then he ever could be with her.
Kate sat beside Lanie on the edge of the dark mahogany wooden pew in her flowy emerald colored dress that ended just below the knees. Her light brown hair was tied up in a lovely bun with a few strands of hair trying to escape before Kate pushed them back behind her ear and sighed as she stared down at her hands which were limp in her lap.
Lanie put her hand on her friend's thigh in an attempt to comfort her just as a high pitched complain came from one of the back rooms. Kate whipped her head around, instantly her cop instincts kicked in as she spotted a tall blond woman stomping her foot and yelling at a shorter brunette lady dressed in a lavender dress. Bridesmaid, Kate guessed.
She turned her head back to the front of the church where the altar sat and tried to ignore how atrocious that dress looked, the sleeves were large and puffy while the skirt was the same but layered, it reminded Kate of a large ice cream cake that was left out in the sun for too long. 'My dress would have looked much better for our wedding,' thought Kate before her eyes widened. No, she has to stop thinking about Castle, the whole reason she came here was to get over it and get some sort of closure.
It was about ten minutes later when the organ finally started to play, everyone quieted down immediately. The music echoed through the church, it probably sounded perfectly normal to everyone else sitting in th but to Kate, it sounded like an utterly dreadful death march.
Everyone turned their head to the entrance of the church, the flower girl went down the aisle first, scattering white rose petals all the way down the velvet red carpet. Then, the bridesmaids, including the one Kate saw Castle's bride yelling at earlier. Finally, on the arm of her father, she floated down the aisle, followed by about three yards of lacy white trail. This time she couldn't stop the thoughts, this was it, Castle was getting married and she was supposed to sit there and watch him. Her mind started going to places they have never been before.
What if she was supposed to be the one up there in a lacy white gown that Martha, Alexis and Lanie helped her pick out. What if she was supposed to be the one holding that perfectly arranged bouquet in her hands, planning on throwing it in Alexis' direction just to make Castle flip out and give his daughter a speech about always being his little girl. What if she was supposed to be the one saying "I do" and actually meaning it? He's not happy...She can see it when he flashes that fake smile at his soon to be third wife, she can tell that he's thinking about what it would be like to instead have a certain detective up there looking dazzling in white, and that's when it happened. She caught his eye and he drew in a sharp intake of breath as his eyes widened at the sight of her. He glanced quickly at his bride and decided he had just enough time to look back at Kate and mouth "What are you doing here?" Kate looked at him with sad eyes and shook her head.
His bride, Mandi, finally found her way down the aisle, she now stood under the flower covered arch, facing him, no longer giving him a reason to return his gaze back to Kate. The priest started to speak but it all sounded like a gigantic mumble to both Kate and Castle until the vow neared it's end.
Castle was never meant to see Kate, that's why she tried to find a seat closest to the door, now everything was messed up. She told herself she would be happy for Castle but now that she saw how much sadness was settled behind his eyes she couldn't just let it go anymore, he wasn't happy with Mandi and she knew it. That's when she finally made up her mind about what she wanted, and she was running out of time, fast.
The first thing that registered in Kate's mind was the preacher speaking those words "Speak now or forever hold your peace." There was a piercing silence as a few people quickly turned their heads side to side to see what everyone else was doing. 'Okay, this is it, my last chance.' Kate thought as she watched the preacher turn back to the couple and open his mouth. Kate cleared her throat meekly and pushed herself off her seat, hands shaking profusely.
Everyone turned towards Kate and let out a little gasp, horrified looks came across everyone's face, especially those that belonged to Mandi's family. Kate didn't care about any of them, the only face she was focused on was Castle's. He was staring right back at her with concern and confusion clear in his eyes, and maybe it was just her imagination, but she thought she saw a little hope mixed in too.
Kate took a deep breath and began. "Castle...I can't let you do this. I know I haven't seen you in a year and I have no right to even be thinking this," she gave out a short, humorless chuckle "Hell, I wasn't even invited," she paused once again to wipe the tear that was forming in her eye, "but I love you, I always will.. and I can't watch you marry the wrong woman for a third time." Kate didn't stick around to watch the outcome, she grabbed her bag that was sat between her and Lanie and excused herself before running out the large doors.
Castle stared at the doors to the church in shock. Kate Beckett just declared her love for him in one of the most public and embarrassing ways, during his wedding. He looked back at his bride, her cheeks were flushed and her lips were set in what looked like a permanent scowl.
"You're not actually thinking about going after her are you!?" she whispered harshly.
"I-I um.." he glanced at his mother and daughter who were sitting a row behind Mandi's family, smiling and nodding at him to go after the love of his life.
"I'm sorry Mand-" He was cut off by a responding slap as a quiet gasp flittered through the crowd of about two hundred people.
"Okay.. I deserved that." Castle held his reddening cheek in his hand.
"You're damn right you do." She raised her hands again to push against his chest when Castle grabbed her wrist.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do this." He quickly leaned in and kissed her cheek before hightailing it down the aisle and out the doors leaving behind the hollers of delight from his family and friends and the shout of protest from everyone acquainted with Mandi.
Kate made her way to the park across the street and sat on her favorite swing, staring at the empty one beside her that over the past year, she desperately wanted to be occupied by Castle.
She hopes her speech had the desired effect and pulled Castle away from his bride to be. She didn't say what she did for her benefit but for his, she just wanted him to be happy, whether he found that happiness with her or someone else, that didn't matter right now. She allowed the tears to fall onto her dress as she kicked her four inch black heels off, the sky darkened as drops of water started to fall down and hit her in the head. She became numb from the cold, gripping the metal chains until her hands were pure white. She pushed the rest of the world out until finally she recognized the sound of large feet making their way over to her.
"Kate! Thank God, I thought I was too late." Castle's voice echoed through her ears before she finally realized she wasn't daydreaming. She looked up and saw him smile for the first time in a year, she flung herself into his arms and cried while he held her.
"Shh.." He rubbed her back and whispered soothing sounds into her ear her as the rain poured down all around them, neither of them giving a damn, after so long they were finally where they both wanted to be, together.
"So glad you were around when they said speak now." He whispered into her neck before pressing his lips against hers.
