Return a Man
PG-13 for some language and disturbing memories
SUMMARY:
Radar has just left for home. He arrives at the family farm and tries to adjust to home life. He looks up Patty Haven, the girl he met back in Tokyo, and begins to think he's found the one for him…
Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly arrived at the Iowa airport after 15 grueling hours of flying on three different planes. After getting his luggage, he hitched a cab and gave him directions to the farm. As he leaned back against the seat and gave a large sigh, his thoughts wandered. He thought of the 4077th and all the people he left behind, how much he would miss his Uncle Ed, and his Mother. He smiled, finally glad to be home, with his family.
Then he thought of Patty Haven, the lady he met at the Tokyo Airport. "Lancaster, Missouri…" He thought. "I need to remember to look her up…"
Then the cab stopped, and Radar paid him and got his bags. As the cab drove away, his eyes watered at the sight of the place he grew up. It had been so long since he had seen it up close…
He picked up his bags and trudged up the steps to the door. He decided to knock on the door. After three knocks, it took around 10 seconds for an elderly bespectacled woman to answer. Her face lit up in a look of utmost joy.
"Walter!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him. He hugged her back. "Hi, Ma."
She pulled back, tears sparkling behind her eyes. She looked him up and down. "Don't you look handsome in your uniform!" She smiled warmly. "You've grown to be such a man, Walter."
He nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Ma."
She quickly ushered him into the house, overjoyed her son was home at last.
Radar laid in bed, just staring at the ceiling. He had taken a nice refreshing shower, had a nice meal provided by his mother, and now was ready to sleep. He was just drifting off when he heard a siren.
"AIR RAID! AIR RAID!" He started screaming, jumping out of bed. His mother ran into the room in her nightgown and robe. "Walter! Walter, what is it?"
He looked up, eyes wide with fear, as though he had just snapped out of a trance. "Ma…" He sighed, sitting down on his bed. "I forgot I was home…thought it was an air raid…"
She sat down and put an arm around him. "It was just a police siren." He was breathing heavily. "This is going to take some getting used to."
"Don't worry, Walter. You'll get back to normal soon." She looked at him with sympathy. "You must've seen some awful things in Korea."
He nodded. "Too many."
She gently kissed him on the forehead, laid him down and pulled the blankets over him. "Get some rest, honey. I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night, Ma…" he mumbled before falling asleep.
The woman stared at her son, her face a mixture of pride and pity.
The next day, after eating breakfast and finishing his morning chores, Radar brought down the phone book. He looked up Missouri and Patty's name. His mother walked over.
"What are you doing, Walter?"
He looked up suddenly. "Oh…I, uh, met a girl at the airport before I got sent home. She lives in Lancaster, and I promised to look her up."
She smiled. "I'm glad to see you found a girl. I hope she's nice. What's her name?"
"Patty Haven."
She tousled his hair warmly. "Phone's in the other room. Good luck."
As she walked away, Radar realized that his mom has truly adjusted to his manhood quickly.
After three rings, a feminine voice answered. "Hello?"
"Patty? This is Radar. We met at the Tokyo airport…"
"Oh! I've been waiting for your call. I'm glad to hear that you're home."
He smiled. "Yeah, thanks. It's good to hear from you."
"You too, Radar. In fact, I was wondering… Would you like to come over to my house for a barbecue at my ranch?"
His heart skipped. "Uh…sure. Is it alright if I bring my Mother along? The reason I'm home is my Uncle Ed died and I had to come home and take care of her."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Her voice was sympathetic. "Of course, Radar."
They continued to make plans, and after Radar got off the phone, he talked to his mother. She seemed very happy about the arrangements.
The next week Radar was driving the family car to Patty's ranch, his mother in the passenger seat. "It's really weird not having to drive a jeep." He said.
"Your driving's gotten better." His mother said approvingly. Halfway through the ride, he asked, "Tell me again, which way to the aid station?"
At his mother's puzzled look, he caught himself. "Oh, sorry. That's where I usually always drove. When soldiers couldn't get to our hospital, me and some of the doctors usually went out and got them. Sometimes in a aid station, sometimes in a field with gunfire." He shook his head. "The reason I thought of it was because it's peaceful here. And a peaceful moment in Korea is suspicious."
He didn't look at her face, but his mother was looking at him with worry and pride. "You're a very brave man, Walter."
"Not really. Captain Pierce was really the brave one."
"Then he taught you well."
He smiled. "Oh! We're almost there!"
After a few minutes, they pulled into the ranch. As Radar helped his mother out of the car, he saw Patty running to greet them. "Radar! Glad you could make it!"
"Nice to see you again, Patty." He shook her hand. "Patty, this is my Mom. Mom, this is Patty." Patty shook her hand warmly.
"Nice to meet you, Ma'mm." His mother smiled. "Please, call me Edna."
"I'll go get my father. He's been waiting to meet you two." She walked off, and his mother turned to him. "Why Radar?"
He sighed. "Oh, yeah. That was my nickname in Korea. I could tell people what they said before they said them, and I could hear choppers before they arrived. But it's mostly gone now."
Before his mother could answer, Patty was walking up with a man on her arm. "Dad, this is my friend Radar O'Reilly, and his mother, Edna."
"I'm actually Walter, but you can call me either, sir." He shook his hand.
"I'm glad you could make it." The man smiled at him. "Patty has spoken very fondly of you. Come out to the backyard, dinner's almost ready."
As Edna O'Reilly and Patty's father, Paul, spoke together, Radar and Patty sat down on the porch and ate. "This is really good. Much better than the Army food I used to eat."
"Yeah, it was pretty bad, wasn't it?" She chuckled.
He sighed and looked at her. "What?" She asked.
"It's weird, Patty. I know I just met you a short while ago, but I really feel close to you already, you know?"
She smiled. "I understand. When I got home, I thought about you all the time. I was hoping you would call."
He blushed a little. "Well, you're a nice girl. I wouldn't want to miss you."
She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're a nice guy, Radar. I'm sure the girls go crazy for you."
He blushed even more. "N-No, not really… you're kind of the first girl I've been this close to."
She looked happily surprised. "Well then, I guess I got lucky, didn't I?"
He looked at her, a smile on his face. "She seems too good to be true…I hope this works…"
After the barbecue, Radar spoke to Patty again. "I had a really nice time today, Patty."
"Me too, Radar."
He cleared his throat. "And, uh, I was wondering…Would you like to go somewhere sometime? Maybe dinner, or a movie?"
She smiled. "I'd love to. Is Saturday okay for you?"
"I'll talk it over with my Mom, but I don't think she'd mind."
She touched his hand. "I'll see you then, Radar."
"See you then." They stared at each other for a minute, Radar squeezed her hand, and walked off.
On the drive home, his mom spoke. "That was wonderful, Walter. Patty seems like a very nice girl."
"She is, Ma. She really is."
"I'd be overjoyed to gain her as a daughter."
The sudden thought almost caused him to swerve off the road. "I think it's a little early to think about that, Ma. I mean, I don't know if she likes me as much as I like her."
"I saw the look in her eyes when she saw you, Walter. It was the same look I got when I looked at your Father."
She touched his arm. "I'm sure she'll be the one."
He smiled. He was hoping it would be, too.
Two days later, Radar was back to wearing civilian clothes and was going on a date with Patty. They were going to dinner at Radar's old hangout and then to a movie. He combed his hair while fussing in the mirror. He jumped when his Mom touched his shoulder. "Walter, relax. You look fine."
He sighed. "I hope so."
"Well, enjoy yourself. I won't wait up."
Radar looked puzzled. "Why not?"
His mom looked at him, realizing he still hadn't done what she thought he had by now. "Well, when the time comes, you'll know." She kissed his cheek and walked upstairs.
Radar paused and then went back to combing his hair.
After picking up Patty and driving to the restaurant, Radar helped her out of the car. "I'm glad you wanted to come here. I haven't seen the people here in a long time."
"Oh, I'm always ready for a good hamburger. Fancy dinners don't do it for me." She put her arm through his. Radar stared at it. "Something wrong, Radar?"
"Oh. No. Um…let's go in." He got the door for her. As he walked in, a man called out. "Walter! Hey, everybody! Walter's back!"
Three men were coming to shake his hand. "Where have you been? Forget about your pals?"
He chuckled. "Just got home from Korea. Discharged."
They clapped him on the back. "Thanks for doing your duty. And who's this lovely lady?"
"Oh. Uh, this is Patty. Patty Haven. Patty, these are my friends, Nick, Eric, and Mark."
She shook each of their hands. "Nice to meet you all."
They smiled. "So are you Walter's steady?"
Radar blushed furiously, but before he could open his mouth, Patty spoke:
"Hopefully soon. We're just having fun for now."
He stared at her for a moment, then smiled. "Mom was right…"
"So, Radar, the usual? Double cheeseburger, fries and a grape nehi?" Radar nodded.
"Mmm, that sounds good." Patty mused. "I'll have the same."
They sat down as the men went to get their orders. "I missed being back here…" He chuckled, then stared at the ceiling with a anxious look on his face. "What is it?" Patty asked, worriedly.
Radar jumped out of his seat. "Incoming wounded! Wounded!" Mark ran over and shook him. "Radar, what's going on?"
"I heard a chopper!"
"Right. A chopper."
Radar shook his head. "Oh, God. Sorry. I worked on a medical base. Choppers usually meant wounded."
"No worries. Just try and relax." Radar sat down, ran a hand through his hair and placed one hand on the table. Patty took his hand. "I see you're having trouble adjusting."
"Her hand feels nice…" Radar thought. "Yeah…um, your hands are soft."
She smiled. "Thank you." Their food came, and the conversation was put on hold for the time being.
They went to the movies, and it turned out to be quite scary. Radar was surprised when Patty clung to his arm, shaking. He decided to take advantage of the opportunity, slipping his arm around Patty, who put her head on his shoulder. He blushed, smiling. He didn't really pay attention to the movie after that.
After the movies, Radar drove her home. He walked her up the steps, and paused at her door. "Thanks for coming out with me, Patty. I had a great time."
"I did too. Thanks for holding me during that movie. It was pretty scary."
He looked away. "You're welcome."
She took one of his hands in both of hers. "I really like you, Radar. I hope we can do this again."
He smiled. "Of course we can. I'll call you tomorrow."
He squeezed her hand, and was about to walk away, when he saw something twinkle in Patty's eyes. She placed her arms on his shoulders and kissed him softly. When she pulled away, they were both blushing.
"Good night, Radar."
"Good night, Patty."
Throughout the next two months, Radar and Patty were inseparable. They went out to lunch every week, and Patty visited the farm with her father frequently. Radar's mother and Patty's father got along great, too. One day, Radar and his mother were visiting the ranch, and their car broke down. It was too late to walk, so they stayed over. Radar was sleeping soundly on the couch.
Patty was coming down the stairs in pajamas, feeling thirsty. Then she heard Radar scream. "COLONEL BLAKE!"
She ran to him. He was drenched in sweat, eyes wide with fear, breathing heavily. "Radar, what's wrong?"
He yelped, just now noticing she was there. "Oh, Patty…" Tears stung his eyes.
"Radar…" She touched his hand. "You were having a nightmare…you wanna talk about it?"
"I don't know if I can…"
"Who's Colonel Blake?"
He looked at her sadly. "He was my commanding officer before Colonel Potter came along… I grew up without a father, just my Uncle Ed. Colonel Blake…Henry, that was his name…was my father figure. I loved him like a father. He was a good doctor, and he was always there when I needed him…"
Patty nodded. "Then, one day…I got the news he was going home. We threw him this big party. He was so happy, going home to his wife, daughters, and a newborn son. His wife had a son while he was over in Korea…" Patty was smiling until what Radar said next.
"Before he boarded the chopper to take him out of camp, he gave me a hug. The last thing he said to me was 'You behave yourself or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt.' Then he left….About an hour later…I got the message that…his plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. No survivors."
Patty choked on a sob. "That's terrible!"
Radar broke down in tears. "It's just not fair! He was so close to being home… his wife was waiting for him… he never even saw his son!" Patty pulled him into her arms and held him. He sobbed onto her shoulder.
The two of them didn't see it, but Radar's mother and Patty's father were standing on the stairs, watching them. They had heard the story. Edna O'Reilly was in tears. They decided to leave them alone.
A few minutes later, Radar lifted his face, wet and red. "I'm sorry…" He said in a small voice. "Don't be sorry, Radar. As sad as it is, I'm glad you told me. It shows that you trust me. And you know whenever you're sad, you can talk to me. I might not be able to make it better, but I can try."
He looked at her, tears starting up again. "Oh, Patty…" He kissed her on the cheek. "Patty… I love you. You've been closer to me than any other girl I ever knew…I know you're probably not ready for that yet, but I had to say it."
Patty's eyes were twinkling with tears. "Radar…I've been waiting for you to say that. I know I cared about you so much, but I didn't know if you cared about me."
"That's the way I felt, too!" She kissed him and laid her head on his shoulder. "It's alright, Radar, I'm ready for it…" A tear went down her cheek. "I love you, too."
They held each other for a good while, before falling asleep together on the couch.
After Radar got home, he finished catching up on his chores and caught his mother in the kitchen washing dishes. "Mom?"
"Yes, Walter?"
"I…I was meaning to tell you something."
"Yes?"
"I was, um…uh…thinking of, uh…asking Patty to marry me."
His mother froze. She turned around and ran upstairs. Radar was worried that he had upset her until she came down with a box and a large smile on her face.
"Oh, Walter… I've been waiting for this day." She sat him down on the couch and opened the box. "I've saved something for you…I was waiting for you to find a girl you loved enough to marry, and now I can finally give it to you." She took out a velvet box and handed it to her son.
He opened it. Inside was a gold ring with a large circular diamond with two smaller diamonds on either side of it. He recognized it as his mother's engagement ring. "M-Mom, no. I can't accept this!"
"Walter, I want you to have it. Yes, I did get it from your father, but I have no use for it now. I want you to give it to her, to let it's love live on."
He closed the box and hugged his mother. "Thanks, Ma." He got up. "I just have to do something else first. I'm gonna call Patty's father and ask for her hand."
She smiled wide. "That's a very honorable thing to do, Walter."
He nodded and walked to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Uh…Mr. Haven? This is Walter O'Reilly."
"Oh, Walter, hello! Did you want Patty?"
"Uh, no, actually I wanted to talk to you."
"Really? About what?"
"CouldImarryyourdaughter?" He blurted out.
There was a pause. "What?"
"C-Could I marry your daughter? Um, I love her very much, and I'll take good care of her, and I'll be a good husband…please?"
More silence. "Walter, I'm glad you came to me first. That was a very gentlemanly thing to do. And yes, you have my blessing."
"I can marry her? Really?"
"Yes, really. Patty truly loves you very much, and I know she'll be happy with you."
"Thank you, sir. I'll ask her tonight."
"And Walter?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Call me Dad."
He nearly choked with emotion. "Uh, yes, sir…Dad."
That night, Radar took Patty out to a nearby garden. There were rosebushes in bloom, a million stars out, a full moon, grass green and soft. Radar took her out to a patch of grass and smiled at her. "Radar, this is beautiful!"
"It sure is. You fit in well." She blushed and smiled at him. "Patty…I have something to ask you."
"What is it, Radar?"
He sighed heavily. He took the box out of his pocket and flipped it open. Patty gasped and her hands went to her mouth as he got down on one knee and began to speak:
"Patty, when I met you at the airport in Tokyo, I knew that you and I would get along great. And when I met up with you here, I had a feeling that we would always be together….and I want that to be true. You really helped me out when I was trying to adjust. You gave me new strength. You gave me hope, trust, and most of all, love. I really don't have much to offer…but do love you. W-Will you marry me?"
Tears were streaming down Patty's face. She touched his hand. "Y-yes. Oh, yes. Radar, yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you!"
He slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her hand, then stood to kiss her lips. By now they were both crying happily. He hugged her tightly, glad that he had finally found the girl for him…
Two weeks later, Radar was on the phone again, this time with an old friend.
"Maine Community Hospital, Dr. Pierce."
"Hawkeye?"
There was a gasp. "Radar? Is that you?"
"Yeah! How are you?"
"Great! How have you been?"
"Good!"
"It's great to hear from you, Radar. What's going on with you?"
"I, um…had something to ask you."
"Oh, yeah? What?"
"Will you be my best man?"
"WHAT?!"
Radar chuckled. "You heard me."
"Radar, what? Who? Where? HOW?"
"It's a long story, Hawk."
"I've got time. Spill."
Radar told him the whole story, Hawkeye listening intently throughout. "Radar, I'm so happy for you. Of course I'll stand with you."
"Thanks. Have you spoken to anybody from camp yet?"
He heard Hawkeye chuckle. "A little with Margaret, but not anyone else."
An idea came to Radar. "Hey, Hawk? How about we invite the gang to the wedding? Kinda make it a little reunion?"
"Radar, that's a great idea! When's the wedding?"
"September 10th. I'll look up everybody's addresses and get back to you."
"Thanks. And Radar?"
"Yeah?"
"Congratulations."
Radar grinned. "Thanks, Hawk."
It took two more weeks, but Radar had found everyone on the list. He had RSVP's from B.J. and Peg, Hawkeye, Margaret, and Colonel Potter and Mildred. He couldn't locate Charles, but he didn't think that he would come anyway. Trapper was unlocatable as well. And he didn't even bother to invite Frank. He didn't want to deal with him on this happy occasion.
The wedding was a week away. They were getting married in a small chapel a few miles from the farm, most of his and Patty's family were coming. And best of all, most of his friends from Korea would be there too. They were due to arrive any minute. Mrs. O'Reilly had prepared a big dinner for them, and Radar seemed like a nervous wreck. Patty caught him by the hands.
"Radar, relax. They're the same people you knew. Everything will be fine."
He sighed. "I know." Radar jumped at the knock on the door.
"Easy. I love you." She whispered.
"Love you too." He whispered back as he opened the door.
"Hawkeye! Major Houlihan!" Hawkeye grabbed him in a hug. "How have you been, Radar?"
"Never better." He looked to Margaret. "Nice to see you again, Major."
She shook her head. "Call me Margaret, Radar. I'm not in the Army anymore." She surprised him by grabbing him in a hug.
Hawkeye looked to Patty. "And are you Radar's lovely bride-to-be?"
She smiled. "I am. You must be Hawkeye Pierce."
He shook her hand. "I'm glad Radar finally found somebody like you. Seems like only yesterday we were tucking him and his teddy bear in at night."
"Hawk!" Radar protested, blushing.
"What have you done now, Pierce?" Radar spotted his old C.O. and his wife strolling up the steps. "Colonel Potter! Great to see you again!"
Colonel Potter hugged Radar, then greeted Hawkeye and Margaret. "Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Potter." He shook her hand gently.
"Call me Mildred. Sherman says you kept the camp running smoothly for him."
"I tried my best." He gestured to Patty. "Colonel? This is my fiancé, Patty. Patty, this is Colonel Potter."
"Radar, she's beautiful. Nice to meet you, Patty." He greeted her warmly. Patty put her arms around Radar lovingly. "You have such wonderful friends, Radar."
"Wait a minute! You haven't met us yet!" B.J. called out, a woman on his arm and a toddler on his hand. "Beej!" Hawkeye grabbed him in a tight hug, which he responded to gratefully. "How are you?"
"Great." B.J. says, grinning at his friend. "You?"
"Never better. Is this Peg?" He tried to shake her hand but she grabbed him in a hug. When she pulled back, happy tears were sparkling. "You must be Hawkeye. I'm so grateful to you for keeping my husband safe and happy during the war."
He took her hand. "Well, he wouldn't have survived otherwise." He quipped. He bent to get a better look at the little girl. "And this must be little Erin." She clung to her father's leg. "She's cute, Beej."
Radar went to shake B.J.'s hand and introduced Patty. Then Hawkeye spoke.
"Alright everyone, inside. I've got big news for everyone."
While they were eating, Hawkeye stood. "I told you I had some big news."
"Well?" Radar said, anxious.
Hawkeye grinned. "I went and did something I thought I would never do."
"Wash your socks?"
"Give up girls?"
"Eat Army food voluntarily?"
He laughed. "Nope! I got married."
Everyone cheered. "Really? Why didn't you bring her, Hawk?"
"I did." He gestured to Margaret, who was smiling broadly.
Everyone seemed to be in shock, then another cheer went up. "That's great! Congratulations!"
"What's going on, fellas?"
They all froze. Turning around, they saw old Ferret Face Burns standing there. They looked to Radar, who looked as confused as they did. Their host stood up. "Uh, Major Burns? Why are you here? I-I didn't call you."
"It's Lieutenant Colonel Burns now, Corporal. But please, call me Frank." He grinned. "I actually was in the neighborhood, and heard at a nearby hamburger joint that a Walter O'Reilly was having a reunion with his war pals. Thought I'd stop by."
All of their guests except Peg, Erin, and Patty seemed like they were outraged by this notion. But to everyone's surprise, Radar reached out and took him by the hand. "Well, it's nice to see you again, Major…uh, Colonel…I mean, Frank."
"Nice to see you again as well, Radar. I'm very pleased to hear the announcement of your betrothal." Radar was uneasy at his being so formal, but smiled anyway. "Thank you." He gestured to his fiancé. "This is her. Patty."
He offered his hand, which she took gently, pasting a smile over her confused and weary face. "Nice to meet you too, Frank."
"And you just missed another piece of news. Hawkeye and Major Houlihan got married!"
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Radar realized it was a mistake. He clapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes pleading silently to Hawkeye in apology.
But Frank didn't even seem phased. He smiled. "I'm glad. You two really look happy." Even Hawkeye and Margaret had to admit he did sound sincere. "I'm pleased that you didn't stay with Colonel Penobscott. He really wasn't a good match for you. Too brash, not enough nurture."
Radar thought that everyone needed a short break from their guest, so he spoke. "Uh, Frank? Why don't you go get something to eat and sit with us? Food's over there."
"Thank you, Radar." He strolled away calmly.
Radar sat down, shaking. "That was unexpected."
"Which part?" Hawkeye whispered fiercely. "Something is definitely up."
"Radar, what's going on?" Patty asked, worried.
Hawkeye spoke for him. "He was the worst person in camp. Very military. Obsessed with Margaret, tried to get at her every chance he got. Regarded Radar as merely dirt beneath his boots." He looked at Radar in shock. "I can't believe you didn't throw him out on his butt!"
Radar sighed. "I know… I was going to, but I decided to give him a chance. War makes everyone do strange things, Hawkeye… Maybe now that he's a civilian again, he'll be nicer. I did feel kinda sorry for him." He grinned. "And relax, if he does anything crazy, you have my full permission to sick my livestock on him."
They all chuckled, and even though they got through the rest of the picnic civilly, there was still an uneasy feeling in the back of their minds that Frank Burns had not changed.
That night, they all stayed over. They were going to go to a motel, but Radar's mother would hear none of it. There was plenty of room. Hawkeye and Margaret slept in one room, B.J., Peg, and Erin in the other, Colonel Potter and Mildred in another, Radar and Patty in Radar's room (to the catcalls of his fellow officers), and Frank slept, surprisingly voluntarily, on the good downstairs couch.
As Radar shut the door, he saw his fiancé in her flannel pajamas lying in bed. He blushed and turned away. She smiled. "Radar, relax. Now that we're going to be married, you can get in with me."
He shook a little, but he slipped under the covers with her. She touched his arm. "I love you."
"I love you, too." They kissed a little, but Radar pulled away after about a minute. "Let's save it for the honeymoon…okay?"
She seemed a tiny bit surprised, but overly thankful and secure that Radar was not just after her for her body. She'd known it from the start, but it did make her feel good that their first time would be after they were married. "Okay. As long as you can still hold me?"
She laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, on hand gently playing with her hair. "Walter…" she whispered.
His hand stopped. "W-What?"
"Would you like me to call you that? Walter?"
He swallowed. "I really don't mind either."
"Maybe I'll just call you Walter when we're alone, like this." He smiled, his hand returned to work. "I'd like that."
"But…there's something bothering me."
"Oh?"
"That Frank Burns. I know I've only just met him, but there's something about that man that just makes me…uncomfortable. Even when he did so much as shake my hand I felt scared."
He let go and brought her up to face him. "Patty. I know how you feel. Most of the time when I served with him, I was scared of him, too. But I think he's different now. He's…changed. I don't know how or why, but I think his intentions are honorable now." His face turned serious. "But that doesn't mean I don't believe you, or won't if he does something he shouldn't. If he ever frightens you, or, God forbid, hurts you, I'll make sure he gets his." His look softened. "Understand?"
She nodded, kissed him softly. "Yes. Thank you, Walter. I feel better."
"Good. Now lets get some sleep."
They returned to their position, and Radar turned out the lights.
"I love you, Walter."
"I love you, too, Patty."
The next morning they all had breakfast. When Radar had to go do his chores, they all insisted they pitch in. He tried to stop them, but they said it was the least they could do after their generous hospitality.
Peg helped Mrs. O'Reilly with the dishes. Erin fed the chickens. B.J. and Hawkeye pitched hay. Patty swept up the porch and steps. Colonel Potter and Mildred groomed the livestock. Radar was running the tractor, when Frank stepped up to him.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Yeah. If you don't mind, you could help with the garden. Water it and try to get the weeds out. There's gloves and a hedge in that shed over there."
Everyone glanced over in wonder as Frank, amazingly, seemed to do his job without so much as a complaint. He actually seemed to be enjoying it.
"You know, Radar, you might be right about him." Hawkeye admitted. Everyone else nodded. But Patty didn't. Nobody noticed, but her mind had not been made up yet.
Three days later, everyone was at the chapel, ready for the wedding of their friend and the girl he had come to love. All the men were in tuxedos, the bridesmaids (Margaret, Peg, and Mildred) in powder blue flattering gowns. Erin was the flower girl, in a cute pink dress. And Mrs. O'Reilly served as the maid of honor, at Patty's request. She was almost in tears when she asked her, overjoyed that they were to become a real family. She was in a beautiful golden gown. Patty, by far, was the most beautiful one there. She had her hair lightly curled, in a satin and lace wedding gown, given to her by her late mother.
Radar was fussing in a room when Hawkeye knocked at the door. "Master O'Reilly, your lady awaits."
He sighed in excitement. "Thank you."
As he walked, he paused at the door and shook his friend's hand. "Thank you, Hawkeye. I can't tell you how much this means to me."
Hawkeye smiled. "I'm proud of you, Radar. You've grown to be a man. Now you'll begin your life as a husband."
"Aw, c'mon. Stop. You'll make me cry before the ceremony even starts!"
"Then let's go. The bride's about to make her entrance."
Radar stood on the chapel steps, ladies on the one side of him, gentleman on the other. He jumped a tiny bit as the organ started playing. His heart nearly stopped as he saw Patty being led up the isle by her father. She left her father's arm and Radar took her hands in his.
"I love you." She whispered, her eyes misty.
"I love you, too." He whispered back.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Walter Eugene O'Reilly, and Patricia Jane Haven, in holy matrimony…"
Soon the vows started. "May we have the rings, please?"
Hawkeye handed Radar his ring, Mrs. O'Reilly handed hers to Patty.
"Walter, do you promise to love, honor, and cherish Patricia? For richer, for poorer? In sickness, in health? 'Till death do you part?" He looked to the preacher.
"Actually, could we leave that part out?" He smiled at Patty. "I have a feeling we'll be together longer than that."
Everyone in the room who wasn't already in tears broke down at that moment. Nobody had expected Radar to say something so loving, so beautiful.
"Alright. Do you, Walter?"
"I do."
"And do you Patricia, promise to love, honor, and cherish Walter, for richer for poorer, in sickness in health?"
She sighed, looking into his eyes. "I do."
The two slipped the gold bands onto each other's fingers.
"Now by the power vested in me between God and His church, I pronounce you to be husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Radar and Patty melted into the sweetest kiss of their lives as the rest of the church went up in a loud cheer. As the two parted, their eyes were full of love it made them dizzy. If the others hadn't tried to speak to them, they probably would've stayed that way forever.
At the reception, Radar and Patty had a lovely banquet provided by his mother and her sewing circle. Radar and Patty had the first dance, joined later on the floor by Hawkeye and Margaret, B.J. and Peg, and Colonel Potter and Mildred. Frank sat at a table, nursing a Shirley Temple.
He had hardly said a word the whole night. He looked at Hawkeye with his arms around Margaret, saw the joy on their faces, the look as their lips touched-
CRASH!
He had gotten up so abruptly that the table and all his contents sank to the floor with a clatter. His forehead vein was throbbing so hard they thought it would burst at any moment. "That's…enough…" he breathed. "That's…enough."
Patty was clinging to her husband, eyes wide, trembling in fear. Radar held on to her tightly, realizing that his bride was right all along. Frank strolled toward Margaret. "You…left me alone. You made a complete fool of me, Margaret."
Hawkeye placed his arms around her protectively. "Burns, get the hell away from my wife." He spat. The outburst didn't deter Frank, in fact it only made him angrier. He yanked Margaret roughly by the arm. Before the four men present could jump on him, Patty had left her husband's arms and stood him in the face. "Y-You leave her alone." Her voice trembled, with anger and fear. "You have n-no right to treat her like that…" As she spoke more, her voice got stronger.
"I didn't trust you from the moment you came! I saw the look in your eyes when you looked at Margaret, the lust! I saw the look in your eyes when you looked at Radar, the bitter hatred! You must've stalked her for months, waiting for her to come back to you! And now that you realize she's in love with another, you've gone insane!" She gestured to her husband and the others. "It boggles my mind that on a day of such love, they day I was married to the man I love, with happy couples surrounding us, that you would choose to be this cruel… You, you…weakling!" She shrieked.
Frank grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her face to face. "Don't threaten me." He hissed. He shoved her roughly knocking her backwards through her stomach. She landed on the floor with a thud, getting the wind knocked out of her. Tears streamed down her face, and she cowered in fear. Mrs. O'Reilly and Peg came to her aid.
Hawkeye, B.J., Colonel Potter, and Paul Haven were ready to jump on him all at once, but Radar stopped them.
"Oh, No…" He said gravely. "He's mine."
He stalked over to him, angrier than he'd ever been in his life. "How dare you, come in here, play on my sympathies just to get to Margaret. You bastard, you haven't changed at all!" He grabbed him by the collar. "And if you ever…EVER… touch…no, go NEAR my wife again… you will answer to me." With that, he punched Frank in the chin with all the strength he could muster. Frank fell to the ground, unconscious. As a few men from the reception staff carried him away, Radar rushed to his wife.
"Patty, darling, are you okay?" He felt so guilty for not trusting her worries.
She flung her arms around his neck, her tears now tears of joy. "My hero!"
Everyone else was applauding, his friends the loudest of them all. He helped his wife to her feet and left his arm around her. Hawkeye approached them.
"I don't know what to say…I'm very proud of you both. Patty, you standing up that madman. Radar, you defending your wife and mine, and best yet, giving Frank what he so richly deserved."
Radar grinned. "It's been on my list for years." Then his face cringed as he held up his hand. "But I think my knuckles are bruised."
Patty kissed his hand. "Don't worry. I'll make them feel better."
The rest of the night went on smoothly. Radar and Patty checked into a fine hotel, courtesy of Mr. Haven. That was where they had made love for the first time. Radar and Patty were truly happy.
Nine months later, Hawkeye and the others came to visit again. Patty was with child, and by this time, very far along. "I was so proud the day you got married, Radar." Colonel Potter said. "Now that I see you're going to be a father…I got even more proud, if that's possible."
"Thank you, sir."
He touched his shoulder. "Call me Sherman. That goes for all of you."
Mrs. O'Reilly came downstairs in a rush. "You three doctors come with me. Patty's upstairs, she's in labor. Walter, she's asking for you."
Mrs. O'Reilly came in with bundles of supplies in her arms, and Hawkeye with his medical kit, B.J. hot on his heels. Radar flew to the side of his wife and took her hand. "Patty! How are you feeling, love?"
She groaned. "Walter…" She clenched his hand, then released and started grabbing at the sheets. He took her hand back. "Oh, no you don't. Squeeze my hand when you're hurting. I don't want you to have to feel all of the pain." She kissed him on the cheek quickly, then moaned loudly. "Oh…."
"How's she doing, Hawk?"
"Well, we've finished preparing. Are you two ready?"
At Radar's affirmative nod, they got right to work.
A few hours later, Patty's face was flushed with sweat, Radar's hand had gotten swollen from her squeezing it, but he didn't seem to care. He ran a cool rag over his wife's forehead. "Oh, God, Walter, it hurts…"
"I know, honey, but you're so brave, and you're doing great! Just think, once this is all over, we'll have a nice healthy baby."
"Alright, Patty, give me one big push and it'll all be over."
"I-I can't…"
"Oh, yes you can!" Radar told her. "C'mon, Patty, push! PUSH!"
With a heartwrenching scream and a squeeze that nearly fractured Radar's hand, the baby was out. A wail pierced the air, Patty laying back breathing heavily. Radar kissed her cheek, tears stinging his eyes. "Oh, Patty. It's here…our baby…a…Hawk, what is it?"
Hawkeye held up the baby. "Radar, why don't you come cut the cord of your healthy baby boy."
Radar came and cut the cord, shook the hands of the two doctors, and took the baby in his arms. He walked over to his bride. "Oh, Patty! Look! Look what we made!"
"He's got your eyes."
"He's got your dimples." Patty said, happy but exhausted. He placed the baby in her arms. He looked to his mother, who was grinning with tears streaming down her face.
The company left to give them some time alone.
"Oh, Walter, he's beautiful. What should we name him?"
He looked at him and then his wife. "I actually had a name in mind if it was a boy…"
"Oh?"
"I'd really like to name him Henry Benjamin. After Colonel Blake, and Hawkeye."
Her eyes brimmed with tears. "That's beautiful, Walter." She looked down at her son. "Hello, Henry." They said in unison.
A little while later, Radar walked out of the room, to the cheers and handshakes of his friends. "Congratulations, son." He could tell that Potter had been crying.
"Have you named him yet?" B.J. asked.
"Yes, we have actually." Radar raised his head proudly. "Our baby's name is Henry Benjamin O'Reilly."
Hawkeye's eyes filled with tears, both at the name of their former commander and his being bestowed upon the baby. He grabbed Radar in a tight embrace.
"That's very sweet, Radar. For Colonel Blake?"
Radar brushed his eyes. "Yeah….I wish he were here to see him."
"I'm sure he does, Radar." Hawkeye whispers. "I'm sure he does."
EPILOUGE
Six years after Henry was born, Radar's mother passed away, leaving Radar the farm. A quiet funeral was held, and Patty's father left to retire in Florida. Patty always remarked that a sparkle had left Radar's eyes after his mother died.
Henry Benjamin grew up to be a doctor. He was drafted into Vietnam and served two years before coming home safely, at the rank of Sergeant. Radar and Patty were very proud of him.
Colonel Potter passed away five years later, Mildred following the next day. They traveled up for that funeral, too.
Hawkeye and Margaret retired to Maine and had already given birth to two children: Benjamin John (A.K.A. B.J.) and Walter Sherman. Radar was truly touched by the gesture.
B.J. and Peg had settled into retirement in California, Erin had grown up to be a teacher.
Frank spent a year in jail for assault. He still lives in Indiana to this day, not received.
Radar and Patty were married for 50 years, before they both died in their sleep the day after their 50th wedding anniversary. Their son, Henry, shared something with his Dad's friends at the funeral:
"They were still embracing when they left."