There were things she could do- and then, there were the things she thought she could do.

Divorce her cheating husband? Check.

Date other men despite his continuous presence in her life- and not only because he was the father of the twins? Double check.

Moving on with her life and one of those said men (aka Tony)? Of course she could!

And then… then there was the last step.

"Will you marry me, Laura?" She looked into Tony's eyes, and then, in the blink of an eye, all around her, at her co-workers at the precinct, and then yet again at the man kneeling before her, with that huge diamond ring in his hand.

Her eyes fells on Jake, and like she was dying- or like they say it happens when you are dying- she saw everything right before her eyes. Only, it wasn't her life- but theirs, and his words as he was lying half-unconscious in an hospital bed, high on the good stuff delivered by the good doctors (and ever-loving nurses).

Gulping down a mouthful of saliva, she waited- she wasn't even sure for what- and…

And then, when nothing happened- and she understood that nothing ever would- she smiled at Tony, and kneeling before him, she took his face between her hands, and kissed him, nodding her approval, her eyes glassy enough to show how exited she was.

Getting engaged after a divorce? Done.

Now, there was only wedding number two to get to deal with.

She thought she could do it. She really, really did.

And it wasn't that she couldn't do it- she could, really. She was so damn ready to get married again (in the next few hours, nevertheless!). But… sometimes she was a control freak of sort. And she couldn't do it without all the proper pieces of info. And she didn't know everything- yet. But a quick talk with Jake would have given her all she needed to know. So that she could take her decision without any second doubt. Not that talking with Jake before the wedding would do anything to change her mind- she had all the intentions of getting married to Ja… to Tony. But what did they say? The more information, the merrier. Or something of sort. Or maybe not.

Anyway, it wasn't the point. And she wasn't going to change her mind. She was doing it only for him, really. And for his broken heart- as in, physically broken heart. She hadn't done any breaking, it had been aaaalll his doing. For real. And she wasn't going to change her mind.

Had she already mentioned that she wasn't going to change her mind just because of Jake Broderick?

"Ehy… did you.. want to talk?" Jake asked as he entered her bedroom- their bedroom- and looked at Laura; she was a little bit… jumpy and on edge, her arms crossed, facing the yellow knee-length dress she had chosen to get married into. He looked at the piece of couture gulping down a mouthful of saliva, hoping against hope that Laura wouldn't notice it- ruining her big day was the last thing going through his mind, despite everything and anything.

Laura finally turned, and Jake felt the sudden urge to take her in his arms, and kiss her just like he had that day, when they had gone undercover that that high-class high school and had made-out in the closest when they had feared being discovered snooping around.

Her eyes were glassy. And he hated when her eyes were glassy- mostly because in the past it had always been his own doing.

And that was why he couldn't take her in his arms and kiss her senseless. He didn't have any right any longer. And whose fault was that? His- alone. And he guessed that now wasn't any different.

(He had always, always been a screw-up, in all of his relationships, after all.)

He shook his head, massaging his sandy hair, and took a big breath, almost relieved for what he was about to say- hoping that she would agree, because, really, who wants to look at the love of their own life getting married to another man because they've been big, fat idiots?

"Listen… I know I said I would have looked after the boys today but… if you don't feel all right with me being here I can always…. I don't know. I'm sure Leo would be thrilled to look after them."

She shook her head, keeping her eyes closed, firmly shout, as it would help her to be stronger, more resolute. "Jake, it's not about this. And anyway, my dad watching the kids today? I don't think so. I mean, it will be a miracle if he'll decide to show up. He loves Tony's cooking, but he really, really loves you. Which is sick, let me tell you. A father-in-law loving so much his son-in-law? Not normal." She said, empathizing her words with gestures. She was giggling-sort of- but it was clear it was just a nerve thing. Even Jake could see that.

He didn't say a word, just looked quizzically at his ex-wife, and that, apparently, did the trick. Laura took a big breath, hands on her hips, and then she breathed in and out again, knowing all too well that she was either on the verge of a panic attack or she was going to hyper-ventilate- and she didn't know which one was more preferable.

She closed her eyes yet again, and then, when she opened them, was to look into his bright blue ones. "Ok, here we go. Do you still love me?"

Jake chuckled, smiled of a smile that didn't reach his eyes, and put his hands on her shoulders, like a friend- or a brother- would have done; there was nothing romantic in the gesture. "Of course I'll always love you, Laura. You are the mother of my children, and that's something we'll always have in common."

She sighed in frustration, and then, in a very non-lady like manner, she grunted. "That's not what I'm talking about, Jake." She looked at him in the eyes, like either a stern teacher or a parent who's just been disappointed by their children. "I'm talking about you declaring me your ever-lasting love, about you asking me if I still loved you- claiming that you know I did. I'm talking about you telling me you wanted me back, promising me on the lives of our children that you weren't going to let me down again if I were going to give you a second chance."

He didn't talk, didn't answer, he just run his fingers through his hair.

"You remember. You've always remembered it- and you've done nothing. You've kept your trap shout. Of course you did. Why I am not surprised yours were only nice words? Empty promises have always been your specialty, after all." Laura chuckled, feeling defeated, turning her back on him. Maybe he still felt something for her- but the fact that he had remembered, had always known he had uttered those words, and then had done nothing when she had been asked in marriage right before his eyes, it told her that, deep down, he really didn't care whether she wanted him back or not. That he probably regretted every and each word he had said in that damn hospital bed.

Jake grabbed her for an arm, forcing Laura to turn and face him- and she gasped as she saw determination, fear, desperation and resignation all together at once in his gaze- and it was the saddest and sexiest thing she had ever seen in her whole life (and Jake was already sexy on his own). And in that moment, without having to hear his words, she knew.

It wasn't that he didn't want to do anything for her. It was just that he didn't feel like it was his place to. He had never done anything because, for him, it was supposed to be her decision and her alone.

"What the hell was I supposed to do, Laura? I wore my heart upon my sleeve- the ball was in your side of the field. And what you did next was getting engaged to Tony. You did it- and all I could was accept your decision."

"YOU BIG IDIOT! YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO FIGHT FOR ME!"

"I DID FOR TWO YEARS AND YOU WERE ALWAYS MAD! YOU TOLD ME TO STOP, AND I JUST DID AS YOU ASKED ME!" He screamed, their faces inches apart. Jake was a sexy man- but when he was mad, in battle mode… well, even more so. Even if she hated to admit that he was right. Kind of.

She took a big breath, and before he could stop her, before she could think too much about it, she took his face between her hands, her thumb caressing his lips as he got lost in her mesmerizing eyes. "You weren't fighting for me. You were just pushing me..."

Jake closed his eyes, and inhaled her scent deeply; Laura was many things- and messy was one of them. And yeah, maybe she never had the time to take long scented bath, and her shower gel maybe was extremely plain, but, as sweet and delicate as it was, even after all these years, those two or three drops of CK One she used every morning still got him crazy- among other things.

He leaned in her touch, his lips smiling under her fingertip as he chuckled. "Do you want me to stop the wedding?" He asked, half-serious. He didn't even know if civil weddings demanded if someone opposed the union. Hell, he didn't even know if he really had in him to stop her wedding- or even just be there to see her getting hitched to someone else. Besides… Besides, Tony was a good man. He was good with her- and for her.

Laura didn't answer. "You know that old saying about the home being where the heart is?" She asked him, her voice low, as she got closer and closer to him, going on tip-toes. "This is where my home is."

She sealed her last word with a kiss; it started slowly, with just a peck on his lips, but as soon as they parted, Jake took command, and took her in his arms, and kissed her savagely, putting in that kiss all the pent-up passion and lust he had filled in those years they had been apart; on instinct, he walked her backwards until her knees didn't touch the bed, and they both fell on the soft mattress in a tangle of limbs and laughs.

And then, when her very talented hand- an hand he had never been able to forget- went to his fly, ready to disrobe him and turn him in an object of pleasure, it came to him.

Laura was getting married. To Tony. Which, he wasn't. Obviously.

He tried to stall her, tried to say something, but he couldn't. And yet, between half-syllables and moans, she understood exactly what he wanted to say- why he was ready to object. And she fell a little bit more for him because of it: old Jake would have taken her there and then, but this new, heart-scarred, penitent Jake 2.0 understood his mistakes, and was ready to finally take her in proper consideration.

"Would I really be here, undressing for you…" She said, sitting on her knee and taking her shirt off sensually, like it was the most natural thing to do in the whole wide world. "…if I were still with him?"

No- he knew she wouldn't be doing it. But mostly, Jake knew - or maybe hoped- that Laura wouldn't be able to marry another man if she was still in love with him.

"The reception? There's people out there expecting you to get married in a few hours…." He said, doing that thing with his eyes, that quizzical-and yet I know the answer look that awoke the butterflies in her belly.

She puffed and grunted, feeling the mood shifting all too suddenly. "I told Meredith to take care of it. I guessed that it would have suited her. I mean, she threats people like she was a general. Or, I don't know, a dictator. Even if I believe that the bloodiest dictator would be less judgmental than her."

Jake shook his head, and grabbing Laura for an arm, he took her in his arms, her head on his scarred heart. "Oh, C'mon, she isn't that bad…"

"Yeah, I know, but I just don't want to tell her."

She took a big breath, closed her eyes, and then, started to fall asleep in his arms- in the their bedroom, on their bed- as Jake kept caressing sweetly her mass of red hair.

As she fell asleep, she wondered if she was supposed to un-check all of her mental boxes. But then, she wondered if maybe it wasn't the case to. After all, this Jake was… well, he wasn't completely new, a whole other man, but he was slightly different from the man she had married… well, a few years before. When she was a little younger.

At closed eyes, she played with the buttons of his shirt, opened it slightly and left a lingering kiss on his scarred heart.

The heart that had broken her own heart.

The heart that had gotten her scared.

The heart that still got her to behave like a schoolgirl with her first crush.