Bloodstainedlove here with my first one shot. this was a skit idea i got after finishing my Deidara/Itachi cosply costume. Im going to work on my Kisame one next and not stop untill i can cosply as them all BWAHAHAHA! enyway. Just so you know this is my frist oneshot. This skit idea was for my friends an i and i hope they catch the hint and get there cloacks soon so that i can film it. Well i hope you like it. Its the first thing ive writen without an OC in it.
DISCLAMER: i dont own eny of the akatsuki members even if i wish i did.
Hey! It me, Blood, your authoress and narrator. I am here to answer the age old question: witch Akatsuki member is the evilest? Is it the Jashin worshiper and immortal Hidan? Maybe the young Uchiha prodigy Itachi who killed his whole family in one night at the age of 13. Nope neither. Now let's venture into the midst of these criminal and find the answer.
A very bored Deidara sat in the living room, his feet on the coffee table. He didn't even turn when Itachi walked in and made his way over to the couch.
"Get your feet of the table Deidara!" Itachi glared. "I just cleaned it." Deidara, itching for some entertainment just glared.
"Make me un!" he shot back. Itachi glared down at him.
"If you don't move I'm going to-" He was cut of by the blond
"Spit at me! Too late un!" Deidara smirked and pretended to wipe something of his face. Itachi grabbed him by the collar.
"I going to murder you! You insignificant freak!" Itachi shouted.
"Well I still have better hair un." Deidara shot back. Itachi stopped and stared at him
"W-what?" He stammered. Deidara's smirk widened
"Yeah. With all your split ends I don't even think you can call that hair. Its more like a matted mop of fur un." Tears welled up in the Uchiha eyes as he dropped Deidara and ran out of the room calling for his partner. Deidara smirk widened as he got an idea.
"That wasn't very nice." Kisame had just walked into the room.
"It true un." Deidara answered, looking at his nails.
"No its not and you know it." The Shark man glared.
"how would you know un?" Deidara asked looking up from his nails.
"Tobi told me." Answered Kisame smirking.
"Of course he did. He lies to you all the time un." Deidara looked back at his nails.
"what?"
"Yeah. Remember Veronica and how she went missing after? What did Tobi tell you then un?"
"That she ran away…right?"
"Nope. He forgot to feed her un." Deidara grinned "Funny how stories get twisted huh un."
"YOU LIE!" Kisame shouted and ran out of the room. Deidara smirked to himself then turned as he heard voices. Pein and Konan (the blue haired lady) walked in. Konan was looking very sheepish.
"Pein, there's something I need to tell you." Konan stopped, ignoring Deidara.
"Yes?" The leader asked, turning to face his wife, also ignoring Deidara.
"Konan's Pregnant un" Deidara cut in being hit by a sudden inspiration
"WHAT!' Pein shouted
"No I'm no- hey! What's so bad about that?" Konan glared
"No I- I mean-"Pein stuttered looking shocked.
"I think we need to have a 'talk' about what's important in our relationship." The blue haired woman hissed, grading her husband by the ear. Deidara snickered, standing to go find someone else to bother. Walking into the dinning room he found Sasori playing with his puppets.
"Sasori no Danna, the house is on fire un." Deidara said, trying to think of something to tease him about.
"Whatever." The puppet master didn't even move. Deidara looked around then spotted a bug running across a window sill.
"Hey Sasori no Danna. I have to say something un." He came over to sit next to his partner who look up this time.
"What?" he asked
"I think," Deidara looked into his eyes, leaning closer, "that we…have…"
"Yes?" Sasori whispered, blushing slightly as he leaded closer to the blond. Deidara whispered into his ear.
"-termites un." He finished. Sasori's eyes grow large and he jumped up.
"TERMITES!!" he shouted "SAVE MEEEEEEEE!" he hid behind Deidara.
"It's ok un." Dei cooed. "Just go and run around outside so they don't catch you un." Sasori nodded left, running. Deidara waited till he hared the door slam until he burst into a laughing fit.
"what's so funny?" Hidan walked in, looking around.
"Just that Zetsu eat your sacrifice un." He answered casually
"WHAT!" Hidan shouted giving Deidara the middle finger as he ran out of the run, cussing like crazy. Deidara sat down grinned and leaned back in the chair, almost falling over when someone called his name.
"Deidara-sempai!" It was Tobi. Even though Tobi wasn't a member he still lived with them. "Why is Sasori running around in circles in the front yard and Hidan trying to kill Zetsu and there shouting noises coming from leader-sama's room?"
"I don't know Tobi un." He lied grinning. "I need you to give this to Hidan for me Tobi un." He handed the boy a pieces of folded paper. In all truth there was nothing on the paper.
"Yes Deidara- sempai!" he ran out of the room.
"3…2…1 TOBI!" Hidan's voice rebounded of the walls, making it louder then it really was. Deidara smirked and pulled out a bottle of purple nail polish as he hared Kakuzu join the fight. It gave the blonde artist pride to know that he had stared all this.
Now are quest has come to an end for we have answered the question we set out to. Deidara, the lovable, silly, and all around evil artist is THE most evil of the Akatsuki!
Hey it blood again! I hope you like it. Remeber to review and the next chapter of Goddess must hate me! should be out soon for all of you that read it. REVIEW!!!!
Love Ya!