Hello One and All!
This idea came to me in a dream...I was walking through a forest and I thought, 'Why don't I write a twilight fanfiction?'. So I thought for a while and came up with this. REVIEWERS MAKE ME HAPPY.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Obviously.
Edward sighed as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
"This just will not DO" he exclaimed, ripping off his black long sleeved sweater with 'Daddy C' written across the chest. Seething, he pitched the garment across the room, where it slid down the wall. He shook his fist in its general direction. Upon hearing the commotion, Esme appeared in the doorway, twisting her hands nervously.
"Is everything alright, sweetheart?"
"NO" Edward sobbed, chagrined. "My life is ruined!"
"Can't get it up again, Edward?" Emmett chortled from the next room.
"SHUT UP, EMMETT, you…" Edward faltered. "You… mastodon!" There was silence.
"That's good, Edward, you're asserting yourself!" Esme beamed proudly. Either Alice or Jasper giggled through the wall. Edward scowled.
"I can HEAR YOU BOTH, you know!"
"…Sorry" they replied in unison.
"So, what's wrong, Edward?" Esme repeated.
"I HAVE NOTHING OF DIGNITY TO ADORN MY SELF WITH FOR THIS EVENINGS PERFORMANCE!" Edward shrieked, "What if Daddy C sees me dressed like some sort of ragamuffin?" Esme blinked.
"Um…I'm sure he won't mind what you wear…If he doesn't like it, he's not a true friend." Esme tried to console him. Edward groaned, rolling his eyes.
"Well in any case, Esme, I wouldn't expect you to understand" He sniffed and marched into the walk in dresser, slamming the sliding door shut behind him. Esme looked down sadly, running her hand through her hair anxiously. She worried about Edward's mental state sometimes. Emmett poked his head through the doorway to Edward's room, snickering.
"Yo, Esme, I wouldn't worry too much about emotional Eddy in there... Once he finds himself a girlfriend, you won't have to hold his hand when he crosses the road anymore...Or take him to the petting zoo!" Edward growled from inside the closet, before the door slid open and he poked his head out, a frustrated expression plastered upon his face.
"AS A MATTER OF FACT, BROTHER, I WAS STUDYING THE HABITS OF MAMMALS LIVING IN CAPTIVITY, OF WHICH I WAS POLITE ENOUGH TO INVITE ESME ALONG FOR THE EXCITEMENT. I THINK SHE WOULD AGREE THAT IT WAS A MOST DELIGHTFUL SUNDAY AFTERNOON, STROLLING AMONGST THE FLORA AND FAUNA OF THE PARK."
"Of course I enjoyed it, darling. We had a magnificent afternoon!" Esme smiled reassuringly and Edward looked pleased with himself.
"Do you see, Emmett? There is more to life than playing vile video games like that 'Grand Theft Automobile'." Emmett smirked, decidedly refraining from voicing his comeback.
"Boys! Esme! The concert begins in under half an hour! We need to hurry!" Carlisle called from the story below. Esme squeaked and excused herself to finish her makeup. Emmett suggested he had to...'tidy his room' with Rosalie before the outing, which left Edward to procrastinate his chosen outfit a moment longer. He finally decided on the prefect ensemble and skipped downstairs to impress his family.
"What do you think?" He demanded, twirling gracefully in order maximize full view of every angle of his get-up. Edward had adorned himself in a pair of worn-looking grey Calvin Klein jeans, an off-white Burberry coat and a black and beige Marc Jacobs scarf. To complete the look, he had messed his hair for a just-gotten-out-of-bed effect.
"Er...You look lovely, Edward, but weren't you discussing with us ALL MORNING about what Daddy C merchandise you should wear tonight?" Alice queried, wishing she had been foreseen herself joining a 'normal' clan, preferably without a hormonal teenage vampire.
"Look at my shoes, Alice!" Edward indicated obviously, looking down at his white converses covered in the letter 'c'. "What is it that you young bucks say these days, Emmett...oh, indeed. You could say my shoes are...ghetto fabulous!" Edward snorted and collapsed with laughter at his pun. Alice and Jasper exchanged glances.
"That boy needs to get laid." Emmett whispered to Rosalie, who nodded profusely in agreement. There was a strangely loud knock at the door.
Carlisle moaned, wondering what else could keep him from getting to the concert. The others truly didn't understand that he, Carlisle, in particular, could not be late.
"I'll get it." As he was opened the door, his was greeted by a strange looking girl who was facing away from him. She was wearing a slightly dirty black tracksuit and her hair looked like it hadn't been brushed for days. Strangely, she was also holding a pair of underpants, occasionally lifting the undergarment to her nose, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. As she turned around, her eyes filled with excitement and she walked right up to Carlisle, peering up at him with her face about an inch away.
"Why hello M-M-Mr. Cullen!" she stuttered. "Could you t-tell m-m-me if E-Edward is home." Carlisle raised his eyebrow and looked back over his shoulder at Edward, who had hid just out of the sight of the doorway. He shrugged, shaking his head confusedly.
"So...How do you know each other?"
"We g-g-go to s-s-school together! But he probably doesn't know who I am." She offered, beaming terrifyingly. Edward furrowed his eyebrow and lifted his hands to show he still had no idea who this odd girl was.
"Um...What is your name? I'll be sure to let him know you dropped by." Carlisle suggested, wanting to get away from this bizarre being as soon as possible.
"M-my name is B-B-Bella Swan."
OOH. CLIFFHANGER.